Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Hostess Obituary

Nobody Remembers

Every morning, I get up, take my pills, and then get a glass of milk and one Hostess Coffee Cake Cinnamon Streusel. I lost forty pounds by cutting out my usual breakfast of whatever cereal of the month was favored. Cinnamon…helps you lose weight.

Not only that—eating Hostess Ding Dongs or Cup Cakes for the occasional desert at my house is a regular enjoyment.  Why? BECAUSE THEY”RE CHEAP!

At least cheaper than Sara Lee’s Cherry-Covered Cheesecake. But today, Hostess died…murdered by it’s own cancerours tumor that was too big to cut out: unions.

So…in respect to the great American Company called “Hostess” I think, a fitting obituary is deserved, don’t you?

DIED: HOSTESS (1930-2012)

After a major greed infection, the much beloved American food staple of the American diet, has died, killing 18,900 jobs. During its long life…Hostess supplied cheap and much beloved deserts and breads to millions of people all over the world—Ding Dongs and Twinkies being the most popular. The brand of Hostess products were so popular, that it spawned many children, who went on to make their parents proud. Hostess will be sorely missed, as it was one of America’s most beloved food makers.

You can send all gifts, flowers, and hate mail to…the Ding Dong in the White House.

November 16, 2012 - Posted by | American Culture, economy, Uncategorized, Union | , , , , ,

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