Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody’s Email: Congress’s New Programs…RAPE, SHAFT, SCREW, AIDS, HERPES….

Nobody Gets Email

I liked this one, it’s very clever.  It seems simple..but trust me on this: Whoever wrote this has watched the government for a long…loooooooooooong time. Anyone know? Anyway..Enjoy!

(Thanks to Tom Beebe)

Older employment notice!

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 and above on early mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retired Aged People Early)old lady TSA

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress for the SHAFT (Special Help After Forced Termination.)

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.bewildered

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.Nancy & Gavel

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS-Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.Light at end of tunnel.

December 1, 2012 - Posted by | Congress, humor | , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. hehe datehsv on google

    Like

    Comment by Angel Sara | December 23, 2012 | Reply

  2. Anyone objecting will become a Clinton Intern where they will be set to work to SUC DIC (Special Un-person Confinement, Despatching Inconvenient Citizens) shoving their countrymen into the PIT (Post Internment – Terminated)

    Like

    Comment by Amfortas | December 1, 2012 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 94 other followers

%d bloggers like this: