Is it Captain Queeg, or is it Memorex? Take Nobody’s Test
Last week, two of my readers sent me the same article to read, written by an Australian named Hal G.P. Colebatch in the American Spectator. It was called–His Queeg Moment. The author insinuated in the article that Obama was just…well, incompetent, much ike Captain Queeg in the famous book, The Caine Mutiny.
What to make of this? I feel like the teacher who is reading her students papers and wondering…”What did I do wrong here?” LOL! So, perhaps, it is time for a test. No cheating. Those who fail the test will receive a, “Queeg was just a stupid Captain– Obama is a Marxist.” bumper sticker.
1. The Democratic Party under Obama is the party of (a) honesty (b) a balanced budget (c) small government (d) fiscal responsibility (e) Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Mao, Stalin, Marx, Lenin, and Bill Ayers.
2. Obama in his first term made mandates for (a) Universal Health Care (b) gay rights (c) women’s rights (d) Union rights (f) black rights to beat up whites without repercussions (g) rights for Muslims (h) rights for Michelle to control what everybody eats (i) rights for the Vice President to remain an idiot (j) A President’s right to take million dollar vacations every month.
3. Are Obama’s mentors and friends insane, or like Queeg, just incompetent? (a) Bill Ayers (Insane or incompetent? (b) Leon Penatta (Insane or Incompetent?) (c) Colin Powell (Insane or incompetent?) (d) Reverend Wright (insane or incompetent?) (e) Jeffery Immelt (Insane or incompetent?) (f) Hillary Clinton (Insane or incompetent?) (g) Karl Marx (Insane or incompetent? )
4. To make our country strong again we must (a) strengthen our military (b) protect our borders (c) cut waste and fraud out of all government agencies (d) get rid of all government unions (e) get tough with China (f) pass term limits (g) give Obama two more terms.
5. Obama wants America to (a) trust him (b) believe he is the savior of the world (c) make him President for life (d) build him a new Oval Office (e) give him all their guns (f) stop hurting each other playing football (g) make Beyoncé his new personal advisor.
7. The reason Mitt Romney lost the election was (a) he tried to kill the family dog. (b) he tried to kill a lady who had cancer (c) he beat Obama too badly in the first debate (d) he made his money all by himself. (e) Clint Eastwood made fun of a chair and was not nominated to run on the ticket as VP.
8. The Republican Party lost because (a) most people thought John McCain was running again (b) Obama had more rappers campaigning for him. (c) Obama had more foreign money coming in (d) Republican voters couldn’t figure out how to work the voting machines, and just couldn’t get to the polls so they were disenfranchised (e) Republicans don’t know how to work computers (f) they don’t own buses (g) Rahm Emanuel threatened to cut off the middle finger of Chris Christie.
9. Only one of these people were mentioned at Obama’s inaugural address: Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Mahatma Gandhi, George W. Bush, Winston Churchill, Tom Edison or Barney…which one?
10. The whole middle East has fallen to Muslim Brotherhood during Obama’s last four years because of (a) Facebook (b) too many hot people, not enough air-conditioning (c) American gay military men on their borders (d) right-wing conspiracies (e) Eric Holder’s fast and furious guns were sold to al Quada without specific instructions leaving them no other alternative but to throw rocks (f) Obama’s first speech at the beginning of his Presidency promised all Muslims who came unto him, 99 virgins, and a lifetime admission to Las Vegas, and they are really trying hard to get there.
11. In his next four years Obama plans to (a) outlaw football because he doesn’t know any better (b) dismantle all American’s nuclear capability because he thinks it only fair to Putin (c) give every minority in the country more food stamps and a decent house, car, cell phone, and a chance to ride on Air Force One because he thinks it’s only fair (d) kiss Joe Biden on the lips to show he supports gays (e) Take over Africa, and build himself a mansion in his hometown of Kenya (f) sell as much as America as he can to the highest bidder (g) demand that Islam is taught in all our schools (h) change his current course of economic ignorance which is destroying the country, and go back to Harvard to get a degree in economics while sacrificing two years of golf time to do so.
The final question on your test is to write an essay as to the differences between a Captain of a ship who got scared in a storm, to an American President who had every intention of destroying the Unites States as it is, because he was trained by Marxists to do just that.
Also, explain why New Orleans had a blackout in the middle of the Superbowl: Was it (a) The Superdome was put back together after Katrina by the lowest HUD bidder (b) The Mayor of New Orleans forgot to pay the electrical bill (c) The Ghost of Captain Qeeeg decided to make an appearance during halftime (d) Beyoncé’s show blew more fuses than China had on backup (e) Obama was at the game, and somehow when Beyonce flicked her hip, he winced, and the flies on his face were thrown off, only to land on a nearby squirrel, which jumped on an electrical line, and fried, .and caused the lights to go out.
Extra points will be given if you can explain why we need drones in American cities.
You have…ten minutes.
Professor of Nobody U.