This week, we have three American diva’s that are crying out for the Nobody’s Perfect award: Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and Katy Perry.
Did you really want me to talk about Obamacare? I didn’t think so.
First up, we have Paris Hilton, whose only goal in life is to…party, and Lindsey Lohan, whose only goal in life is to..party. You would THINK they would love each other…
But..not anymore. It seems Paris’s brother, Barron Hilton (The Hilton’s like to name their kids properly.) was at a Miami mansion, and said something rather nasty about Lohan, and then Lindsey ordered someone to beat him up. You have to wonder if this was a knockout warm-up or if Barron is just short.
Paris was so mad she posted this in Instagram:
“They both will pay for what they did. No one f—-with my family and gets away with it!! And that she should “watch her back. “
Lindsey then had this to say:
“You talk s— about me to my boyfriend, this is what you get.”
And then there’s the woman who used to be married to the greatest pop socialist of the last decade— Russell Brand: Katy Perry. Just the fact that she married him, should tell you all you need to know about her lack of mental floss.
It seem Katy, in an interview, said that she didn’t let her parents go and watch her sing at President Obama’s inauguration last January, because they were Republicans and did not vote for Obama.
As Perry tells it, her parents met when Mary, “a pot-smoking debutante” and freelance journalist, was covering a tent revival in Las Vegas, which Keith, an acid-dropping hippie turned preacher, was attending. “People don’t understand that I have a great relationship with my parents—like, how that can exist,” she says. “There isn’t any judgment. They don’t necessarily agree with everything I do, but I don’t necessarily agree with everything they do. They’re at peace with—they pray for me is what they do. They’re fascinated with the idea that they created someone who has this much attention on her. My parents are Republicans, and I’m not. They didn’t vote for Obama, but when I was asked to sing at the inauguration, they were like, ‘We can come.’ And I was like, ‘No, you can’t. I love you so much, but that—on principle.’ They understood, but I was like, ‘How dare you?’ in a way.”
How dare they? How DARE they want to go to the Capitol (which they help pay for with taxes) to watch their daughter sing (whom they FED from the time she was a baby) even though they didn’t vote for Obama? (Who they also pay his salary by their federally stolen taxes.) How DARE they?
(Cough) if ONLY they were still pot-smoking acid-dropping hippies again, I bet they could have gone.
Okay: maybe we should take a vote on this one:
All who think that Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan are basically acting like spoiled diva thugs, with little class and not much brains…raise your hands.
All who think that Katy Perry’s rudeness to her own parents, not to mention, the lack of ANY kind of simple understanding of our rights as Americans…raise your hand.
I’m going with Dolly Parton! She recently stuck up for Miley Cyrus’s porn inspiring twerking. Good lord Dolly...as if she needed your help. Did your coat of many colors get lost at the local laundry mat in East St. Louis?
So far, I haven’t seen Paris OR Lindsey twerk at all. Okay. Almost…but not like Miley.
But then again, the year’s not over yet. If Dolly starts twerking— I’m never listening to “I will Always Love You.’ ever again.
I can just hear the conversations in the White House before this:
“Ah mom…do we HAVE to?”
Both of Michelle’s daughters looked bored to death. And notice, Michelle acted as if the tree was HER personal tree.. her attitude is, “Hey thanks for giving us such a big tree, right girls?” She put on a very short— “Okay now! Big tree…now you people GO AWAY!” speech.
She couldn’t help but be herself. Instead of, saying, “The American people appreciate this beautiful tree, and the tradition it brings in the spirit of the season.” Or something more high class, she made a sort of fake appreciation of the moment. No doubt, they are looking forward to the parties, but they all really want to get away. You can see it on their faces.
And speaking of them getting out in the world, millions of poor people (many of them black) all over the country right now are fighting in Wal-Marts for their big screen TV’s, (because they can’t afford them at any other time) are at this moment suffering the long lines, while the Obama’s will probably be going to Hawaii, after they get finished with all their holiday parties. Obama’s trips to Hawaii are always the most expensive to the taxpayers, but he doesn’t care. ”Let them eat Cup Cakes!”
Kelly Osborne had it right, when she was blocked for an hour from getting into her Beverly Hills home because Obama was at a private party at some basketball players house. She basically said last week that the Obama’s act more like Kings and Queens than the real Royalty in England.
But, as the great Obama once said, ‘You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” I think it takes one to know one.
Nobody Thinks we have our first “White trash” family in the White House, no offense to the real white trash out there who are in a higher class than these two.
Nobody Gets Email
Hey, how about some GOOD news? Enjoy!
(Thanks to J.R)
At Arrowhead Stadium Sunday….As you know the budget cuts have eliminated the military flyovers at large events. Well, there’s a group of guys in Kansas City who do some formation flying in their own planes and that decided they’d volunteer to pick up the slack. They invited a couple of other groups to join them and before they knew it they had 48 guys with their homemade RV airplanes signing up to join in. If they had more time, they probably would have gotten an even larger group as people kept joining and a 49th was added near the event. One additional feature of the flyover was the use of pink smoke for cancer awareness. The folks from the Guinness Book where there and are expected to confirm it as the largest formation flight ever. And to top it off the crowd later set the record for the loudest gathering at a football stadium.
This week we have two people who were just not perfect enough to foresee their future: Yi Lin Zhuo VS a Man with a Fish.
Both these men did not see the jealousy they were arousing on those around them, and therefore, they suffered.
Let’s take Yi Lin Zhuo first:
Yi Lim Zhuo’s crime was being too rich. Yes, it seems he let a illegal Chinese cousin come over from China, and stay with him and his family. Not too smart. The young and lazy (according to all who knew him) Mingdong Chen, (see picture here) was so jealous of Yi Lim’s Zhuo life, that one day, while Yi Lim was at work, he butchered Yi Lim’s wife and four children. because it just wasn’t fair….
Mingdong Chen, 25, showed no remorse when he confessed to slaughtering the family that allowed him to live in their Brooklyn apartment and admitted that he committed the atrocity because he envied their way of life, a police source told The Post. .NYPD Chief of Department Philip Banks III said Chen had cited his inability to make it in America as his motive for the slayings..
“Everyone here is doing better than me,” Banks quoted the suspect as saying during a confession in Mandarin Chinese, the only language Chen speaks. Two of the kids, including the baby, had been decapitated, and there was a trail of blood throughout the house, sources said.
And then there’s this fellow:
Fisherman Bob. (He looks like a Bob.) Not realizing that he has no right to catch fish without sharing his fair share with the seals, Pancho the seal just took it, right out of his hands. Yes, Pancho was jealous.
Poor fisherman Bob—outsmarted by a seal. Nobody’s Perfect.
So who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?
Not only did they not report that Mingdong Chen should not have even been in this country, they seemed sympathetic to the fact that he just couldn’t seem to get it through his head that maybe his cousin had worked long and hard for his riches. After all, it’s not Obama’s fault that the economy is so bad and amnesty hasn’t been passed, and he didn’t get his free welfare check. Obviously, Zhuro was in that secret terrorist society called……conservatives.
And instead of doing their job and going after the lying President for always claiming to know absolutely positively nothing about any scandal that occurs on his watch— (IRS, Fast and Furious, FBI prostitutions, millions losing their insurance, NSA spying, Michelle’s midnight McDonalds’ runs…) , they are posting video’s of people losing their fish. ( I got this video from The Huffington Post. )
So, congratulations liberal and clueless reporters…you win the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week. Nobody reports the “rich Vs the poor’ communist manifesto revolution garbage in order to promote class warfare, more than YOU!
When you finally print those pictures of Obama in the bathhouses of Chicago, that you’ve been hiding, maybe we’ll all start trusting you again.
Everybody who has had a computer, probably at one time in their lives, had McAfee antivirus on their computer. And last night…John was on Coast to Coast.
The man is pretty incredible. He started out selling drugs: got a Master’s Degree in Math: than worked with NASA, started his own highly successful Antivirus company, and then…suddenly he was on the “most wanted” list. The liberal media tried to hang him as a criminal, and make him out to be a drug-selling, cocaine sniffing, murderer. And dangerous. He said he was set up in Belize, and yes, I believe him. In case you were not aware, he was living in Belize when the government accused him of murdering his neighbor.
But…it’s no wonder they don’t like him. John is developing a device that everyone will be able to put on their phones and computers that will keep the NSA from listening in on you or tracking you. He admitted that the government will probably not let him sell it in the United States, but he will sell it to the rest of the world.
Merkel will probably give him free beer for the rest of his life.
Can you imagine? That is going to be one of the hottest products in the world, and everybody is going to want one. (Including me)
Oh…he also said he looked at the Obamacare code, and you can’t even repair it. It should be thrown out, which he said they will NEVER do. The reason he gave was that to save money, they hired people from India, and for it to work, the systems have to download to every computer, and it’s just too big, and that’s why it’s such a mess.
He reminds me very much of Richard Feynman. Very high I.Q….and a bit of a shit disturber…Having said that: He believes in the Constitution, and loves the founders of our country, and therefore, he is on a big hit list…because that makes him a terrorist in Obama’s world.
AND–He looks fabulous for a man of 78.
So, Richard wins my Nobody’s Fool Award for the week. We could use a lot more fools like John McAfee.
Here’s some superstitions from the book, Beliefs, Rituals and Magic, by Xavier Waterkeyn, and what Nobody thinks of them:
Is that why Africans do this?
And here I thought Gene Simmons was part of the illuminati. These people are actually protecting themselves against getting something bad from those tea party people.
Among the great apes, staring is universally understood as a challenge to dominance.
Justice is blind so that she not be distracted when she lays down her judgment.
Okay. Every member of the Supreme Court needs to go over all their former lame and un-constitutional decisions (Obamacare, Woe Vs Wade, Corporations are people, affirmative action) and redo the cases with blindfolds on.
Muslim women never cut their hair.
It was the Romans that thought the middle finger was shameful.
No wonder our politicians use it so much.
Muslims have to wipe themselves with their left hand after defecating. That’s why they cut off the right hand of ‘criminals.
The Aztecs tore out the hearts of 80,400 prisoners over four days.
A star represents the woman, and the crescent moon the man.
Napoleon believed that men with large, prominent noses had strength, courage, intelligence and determination and he would select his generals on the basis of their noses. The Duke of Wellington the man who defeated napoleon at Waterloos had a big nose.
This of course leads to the obvious, a man with big feet……
Women that spend a lot of time together will find that their cycles all synchronies.
This is absolutely true. In every bar I ever worked in, within six months all the waitresses and I would synchronize our periods. Somebody explain this to me.
Many men have died urinating on electrified railroad tracks in subways.
And STILL—the United Nations…does nothing. (Let’s call Dave Barry)
The ancient Greeks commonly practiced infanticide by leaving unwanted babies out and exposed to the elements and the Inuit would do this too.
Proof that democracy is a lousy system, as our founders tried to tell us.
81 percent of women who don’t finish high school end up with a man who didn’t either. 71 percent of women who finish college end up with a man who did. 94 percent of white men marry white women, 89 percent of women marry white men.
Clearly, this is racist.
Walking under the ladder is considered bad luck because it’s the Holy Trinity. Never sit thirteen down at a table, one will die within the year. This comes from the Christian last supper, which had 13. The reason the number 13 diners at the last supper and that Christ died on a Friday, which is why it’s considered unlucky.
Any Friday the 13th bad luck stories out there? My own mother had a massive stroke on Friday the 13th, and she was visited by a white dove in her back yard for a whole year before her death which she always swore (had come to take me away.) A week before her stroke, the dove disappeared. So, I’m not so sure there isn’t something to this.
Many non-Caucasian populations lack the proper digestive enzymes to assimilate milk properly and this explains the absence of dairy food in the cuisines of east Asia.
And here I thought it was because cows were so cute.
The Roman Empire paid their troops with salt. Hence the word salary.
Now, they want to take all the salt and salary away.
Pirates wore an earring in the left ear because it was suppose to keep them from drowning.
Now, the gay Navy guys can put one in their other ear for double the luck!
So, the real reason the Obama’s are opening up the White House for Christmas is so that they can have great rich parties, and take thousands of pictures of themselves standing by Christmas trees with ornaments given to them by the Muslim Brotherhood. It’s important to keep up appearances of the fact that THEY have 89 trees in the White House, and you only have…one. And YOU paid for theirs.
In Islamic tradition angels in green turbans visited Mohammed and the prophet’s banner is green. In hour of this the flag of Saudi Arabia is green with white writing. The flag of Libya goes even further and is entirely green. These countries are desert.
Another reason they don’t like us. We—have—trees.
God was wise.
Red in the morning Sailors take warning, Red at night, Sailor’s delight.
This is actually based on science, something not see any more in climate data.
David Berkowitz the Son of Sam killed five of his eight victims during a full moon.
Did anyone bother to ask him WHY? Was he actually synchronizing his killings with other serial killers?
The deadliest ever recorded the Tri State tornado of 18 March 1925, crossed the Mississippi River from Missouri to Illinois during its journey of destruction it killed 695 people.
I couldn’t help myself…Zonation continues to impress me with his intellectual savvy. Here, Zo and his friends, point out how racist this liberal commercial is, and democrats in general.
So, Zo and his nation wins my Nobody’s Fool Award of the week! We need MORE! MORE!
This week, we have two sports bloopers: The U.S. Post Office VS Bob Costos
The first blooper came last week, when the ever long-suffering Post Office printed up a whole line of new stamps to honor Michelle Obama’s “let’s just move, so I can be known for doing something besides spending your money ” obesity program for kids. But, at the event in which the stamps were revealed… it seems the first lady was a gasped at the thought that the kids might get some dangerous ideas from the stamps.
Yes….cannonballs, headstands, swinging on a swing, running, playing basketball without a helmet—- standing AND breathing, are now all considered dangerous by the Obama’s
“Three of the stamps in the fifteen stamp series raised safety concerns among sports figures on the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition. The stamps in question depicted children performing a cannonball dive, skateboarding without kneepads, and doing a headstand without a helmet. The unsafe depictions came to light after USPS Marketing chief Nagisa Manabe asked Michelle Obama to take part in a first day ceremony for the stamps. That was apparently the first time the stamps had been reviewed by the Sports Council.”
Maybe they should have gotten someone named Mike as the Marketing chief.
I’m not so sure we can blame this on the Post Office, who right now, have their share of problems…like going bankrupt in a few days. (Or is it hours?) But, until they can come up with some starvation stamps…you know..kids not drinking milk, or eating pancakes, giving their food to the poor in India, —- the Post office will have to take the hit.
Funny, I couldn’t find out how much it cost to print those stamps anywhere.
And then there’s that lovable but hyperirritable sportscaster Bob Costos. Once again, Bob got the nudge from Obama to open his mouth to utter this ridiculous hyperbole:
That’s right. Bob claims the name REDSKINS is a slur. so….I found a bunch of “nobodies” on the internet who had this to say about Bob’s hypersensitivity to the color of anybody skin. Red or black.
Dr. Elephant: He is suddenly offended at “redskins”, but call Sarah Palin a “redneck” and he will just giggle.
Nobody: Dr. Elephante—He also just called anyone who was upset by his comments “any negative reaction comes from an extreme fringe.” I’m insulted, how about you?
The Grim Reaper: I consider “president” followed by Obama to be a slur….
TSH7623: Maybe you’re right Bob. Maybe we can achieve utopia by letting enlightened sports commentators and politicians gut all societies of anything that might possibly offend anyone. Why don’t you set a good example for everyone and stop vomiting your rotten-brained political correctness all over people who are trying to enjoy a GAME.
The Real Killer: Maybe Costos should rename himself “Cost Us” …in honor of his man-crush, Boy Baraka…and push for naming the team the same way….the Thinskins.
Victory Man: “Announcers”….I call them the “Medical mouthpieces”…..”So tell me coach, I know wide receiver Ralph Smith broke his leg on the last play before halftime, but, do you think he’ll be back in action for the second half”….”There’s a break in the action, so I must report that the band aid on the quarterback’s elbow has been replaced with a fresh one…back to you in the booth.”
Lazypadawoon: Maybe instead of changing the name, why not just replace the Indian with a potato? (rim shot)
So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?
Is it the Post Office? After all, this is not the first time they have thrown out stuff: Dolly Parton’s free library books are a favorite trash bin Post Office item all across the country. And don’t go caroling near one any time soon, Christmas carolers are NOT allowed—-unless of course you are there to buy the Muslim Holiday celebration stamps, ordered by Obama.
Or is it Bob Costas? Bob’s parroting of Obama’s every racially offensive whim insults my own parakeet, who frankly, has more common sense.
No…I’m afraid the prize goes to the Obamas. Congratulations Obamas…you win AGAIN!
Yes— Mr. and Mrs. Obama—-Who like the wasteful spenders that they are, love to dictate our lives down to our Muslim stamps, what our kids can do at playtime, and how skin color is the most important factor in deciding our sports names.
Really. I wish I had a team to honor MY white skin.
As for Obama— for a President to even bring up this petty subject, while by his own admission, the whole world is going to be destroyed within hours—-is a serious dereliction of duty.
It borders on impeachment.
Clearly. The Obama stamps will be here before he leaves office.
Which, is good news. Do you really think Obama would let the Post Office close before he got his own face put on a Forever Stamp?
Not gonna happen.
(A quick note: I will be changing the look of the blog every Sunday. If you see a format you like, please put in your opinions in the comments area. I do not own any Apple products, so I have no idea if a bigger format or a smaller format is appealing. Thanks!)
In case you haven’t checked out the internet today, this video is going viral. The government’s somehow shutdown the EBT debit card freebies in many states, and thanks to FACEBOOK, Wal-Mart said they would still honor them.
What did the mostly ‘black’ population do? They ran as fast as they could to Wal-Mart, put as much into their carts as they could, and ran out. When the system came back up, and their limits were shown, they all just abandoned their carts. In other words…they were going to steal as much as they could.
Now, here is a ‘white’ man, stealing barricades and taking them over to the White House to dump. He didn’t actually ‘steal’ this barricade, as he helped pay for it. What he is demanding is his right to the National monuments which belong to the people.
You heard reaction to the ‘radical’ right-wing veterans, on all the liberal media stations. But when black people steal, then, they are seen as poor victims.
They have been making a big deal about the huge gap between the rich and the poor. But nobody talks about the big gap in simple human decency between the whites and the blacks.
And it’s time we start talking about it. After all, the criminal actions of the black communities affects us all. We ALL live in the same country.
Nobody Gets Email
You can sell drugs in the hallways of many high schools in the United States, but don’t you DARE wear a threatening Tee-shirt.
Notice, that Duck Dynasty tee- shirt is going to jump off the body of the student and start beating up whomever it pleases.
Instead of the teachers actually controlling the bullies in the schools, they are instead afraid of: Prayer, old men, and tee-shirts that threaten jokes. Which means the kids in school who ARE being bullied are defenseless, and if they fight back, they are punished also. It the politically correct way to keep kids in line.
Drugs, mind you, are NOT violent. Nor are the students who sell them.
What? You think you’re school is a “drug free zone?”
Then you also think the South Side of Chicago is a ‘violence-free zone.”
Really. It’s not that they are afraid that some kid hasn’t seen Duck Dynasty and might be scared, it’s that the liberal teachers are afraid that kids might actually become big fans of the program.
It’s the teachers biggest fear. The kid should get a tee-shirt that says, “Are you scared of Duck Dynasty? Then you COULD be a moron!”