I have NO idea way the mainstream media is not covering the latest line in Men’s fashion from Paris: Do you? No….each one of these fabulous outfits are screaming to be worn at the Presidential inauguration ball. Nobody Thinks Joe Biden would look especially dashing in the last picture.
Is it any wonder Obama gave himself secret service protection for life? I LOVE the tennis shoes on the first outfit..and the gloves…what’s is he expecting to pick up? An iceberg?
The kangaroo pockets on the second is rather clever but the pants look like something from my great great grandmothers bathing suit.
The “I am a Scottish Ken doll” could lose the earmuffs.
But the last one is PERFECT. You’d never catch the flu in that! Then again…you’d never see the punch coming towards your face either.
Men’s fashion: Not what it used to be.
Who would buy a purse that looks like a frog?
It’s been awhile since I reported on the latest “ugly purse” award, but leave it to the fashionably rich to think up these “beauties.”
The ad says it’s the crown that makes this frog purse (that holds maybe your lipstick and nail polish only) special. But some lady named Judith Leiber is selling them for $5, 995, which means over $6,000.
If it croaked when you opened it up, it might be worth it.
And pink. If there is anything I hate worse than pink slippers, it’s a pick purse. The very famous Louis Vuitton is making you WAIT…to grap this…very ordinary purse sold for $2,340.
You could find one that looks JUST like it at Wal-Mart for $25.00, and good luck finding a dress to match.
Nobody proclaims: There should be a law against ugly purses. Someday, you will see these on e-bay.
And for the right price, I would buy them both and use them to store old costume jewelry–in my closet.
Whoa, I’m posting very late today…and I was just talking to my friend Mona, and promised to show her a picture taken just this last summer…it’s Pattie! And ME! And I’m the one with the gun! (Which leads me to my next post about why Bob Costas is a ninny.)
The studio liked this picture so much, they hung it outside on their platform during the biggest festival of the year…even if they DID put it at the bottom, we felt like movie stars….
“LOOK, PATTIE! THERE WE ARE!”
“Yeah Joyanna, they put us at the bottom.”
“Hey, I’ll take it! You got the Whiskey but I’ve got the gun! Think they’d let us on Duck Dynasty?”
Come on…who hasn’t done this for a lark?
As the November deadline gets closer, the Obama voters are coming out in their finest clothes, to go that extra mile, to show us all that–only by voting for Obama, will we continue as a country to enjoy the many freedoms we have: like the freedom of tattooing your whole body , showing your underwear, wearing chains around your neck, getting fat, painting your face in rainbow colors, or dressing up like a lobster just because you feel like it.
Word has it, that Lady Gaga is being seriously considered for the job of Secretary of Defense. All fashionable attire will be allowed in Obama’s next cabinet. The only thing you will not be allowed to wear are the colors red, white and blue. Unless of course, it has Obama’s logo on it. The 9/11 Teeshirt will be sure to make a big hit with the state Department! Get yours today, in order to remember that no one should make a video about Obama…I mean…Islam. What a better way to remind us all how we are all just one bump-in-the road away from being at peace with all nations and religions, and black panthers.
Nobody also wants to note, that somebody is going to buy Ivanka Trump’s new deal, where she will give you this extremely ugly purse, and throw in a wallet to match, IF you stay in her Trump SoHo Hotel in New York City.
You know how I feel about ugly purses. I am on a mission to expose them all.
Nobody Thinks: This is good news. The meek SHALL inherit the earth if the rich keep trying to make money off of really ugly stuff. Have good heart all you liberals…Our time will come. Jesus was right.
Where in the world do you get this stuff? I used to have a flag bikini….
Anyway, I would wear the shorts, and the shoes, and the Got Mitt hat to the convention, and carry that adorable little pup on my hip…and throw red, right, and bluc popcorn, while singing “Hit the Road Jack”… BUT…
Nobody invited me!
Is it me? Or does Michelle just bring out her “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” dresses when Obama is campaigning to be President? She saves her $10,000 dollar getups to embarrass the royals.
Oh, but she does look lovely!
Just to show that I don’t think she is ‘pandering to those people clinging to their guns and religion”, I”ve posted a few more pictures of Michelle taken on the campaign trail. Michelle is smart enough to know the meaning of “fit in with the crowd” and we LOVE her for it! (Thanks to Tom Beebe)
I don’t want this to sound mean, but today Helen Gurly Brown died, and I’m happy to report, her dying has left me in such a happy mood. Don’t get me wrong. Sorry to her family, but the old gal lived a pretty good long life.(90) She basically was a regular…(in the words of maybe… Rush Limbaugh) “slut.” and she promoted “slutness” to the highest degree.
Nobody would call her…ambitious, and she made it the old fashioned way: She slept her way to the top! Really…that’s what she says.
Who am I to judge? She had to have really great business sense to keep a magazine going for so many years. Helen made a magazine promoting all the ways you can have sex …the sort of modern day Sutra without the pictures. A great force for the condom industry and sex industry in general. Helen gets the Olympian gold medal for sexually arousing generations of young girls for men for decades! Anyway it gave me an excuse to go The Cosmopolitan website, and once again, have good laugh.
What’s Cosmopolitan? If you have no clue…then you are not from this planet, because Cosmopolitan has been the savior of every woman who has had to stand in a long line anywhere.
Having said that: I have NEVER seen a man pick one up.
And why not, you may ask? Because it’s all about how to please your man sexually, which is a contradiction in itself, because if you’re in a relationship and having a good time, I say, don’t fix what’s not broken, but that’s me.
Evidently too many women feel stupid about it.
“My own philosophy is if you’re not having sex, you’re finished. It separates the girls from the old people,” she told an interviewer.
The Browns were childless by choice, she said. You can’t be sexual at 60 if you’re fat,” she observed on her 60th birthday. She also championed cosmetic surgery, speaking easily of her own nose job, facelifts and silicone injections.
Because she died today, I went to Cosmopolitan site, and at the top was the headline:
I won’t go into it here, but basically she tells the girls it feels like a walnut. Nobody wants to know…By whose standards? I can’t stop laughing about this, so I’ll go onto her more mundane subject of:
GIRLS HABITS GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND:
1. Thank you cards to your girlfriends….Guys don’t do this. They are too busy watching football. Girls have to have something to do to pass the time and make sure that whoever gave them that Birthday gift gives them another one NEXT year, because who know if that guy will be there, after he finds out she is reading Cosmopolitan?
2. Flannel Pajamas…For all the fat that are on a woman’s body, she stills wears flannels. Guys mostly go nude. I want to know why men don’t wear flannel pajamas. I think they are pretty sexy on a man. Nobody ever asks that question.
3. Decor Pillows…I have to agree with the men on this. But women are nest builders, and the nest is the bed and the bed MUST have designer pillows. I have designer pillows, but they are in the chair. It’s a waste of time putting them on the bed, unless the Queen was coming to my house—THEN I would put them on the bed. Otherwise I really don’t care if they never go on the bed again. Someone should make scented pillows..it would help on those mornings when you roll over..and smell last night’s pizza.
4.Cluches: Right. I’m with the guys. Cute but…pointless. You can’t fit anything but a tampon in them, which is probably the point. Carrying a tampon around all night in your hand, would be…gross.
5. Wedge Heels. Now what’s wrong with wedge heels? YOU try walking on 6 inch stilettos! The wedges give you support, and trust me, most women in America need it. Picture Michelle Obama in high heels.
7. Massive Purses: If you read me you know, I have a thing about ugly purses. I’ve had the same “purse” for ten years, and it’s basically like a college backpack. BUT…a woman needs a massive purse. I will be ready when the Obama Gestapo comes to put me in detention. My purse, has…everything in it I DON’T need and that’s the way I like it. Besides, a woman’s purse is like a man’s car. Think about it.
8. Eyelash Curler: I’d like to see a man put on fake eyelashes. Mastering advanced Algebra is much easier than learning to apply just the right amount of glue to your eyelash. Try it if you don’t believe me.
Now, stop reading if you don’t want to get mad at me…but look at this picture. Helen Gurly Brown says YOU will LOVE this position of sex…because
Because there’s little eye contact, your man feels free to engage in reckless role-playing, a major turn-on for you both.
Uh..so the man is turned on by NOT having any eye contact with you? He is engaged in reckless role playing?
Uh..what role is he playing? Porcupine? Is he tearing down the Berlin Wall? He is sick of looking at your face? He doesn’t want to remember you putting your eyelashes in a curler?
Okay, I won’t do this stuff often. It’s just that, Helen Curly Brown’s Cosmopolitan was a genius at getting us all to look, and in my case laugh….and entertaining me in many a boring line at the grocery store.
I don’t think the magazine helped our society at all…but neither did Hugh Hefner..who will probably be following right behind her….and Hugh NEVER made me laugh.
Which I suppose somewhere there is an article written in Cosmo that said this:
RIP Helen.. You were one- of- a- kind.
Got $250,000 you just want to blow? Well, here’s something you might think about: 18 caret-gold black diamond nail polish. 267 carets. They made no mention of HOW you would get it off. I don’t know about you…but I’m going to be watching Michelle Obama’s fingernails next White House party. Remember…one bottle: $250,000 by O.P.I. You might as well get another bottle for your cat.
Let’s talk about “breeding.”
Did you men know WHY you really prefer curves in women? Well…it’s because if a woman has big hips, big bust and a small waist, she is carrying more DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) which is omega 3 fat, which means she will produce smarter babies.
HA! And you thought that it was something else causing all that excitement!
Really. Get it together. Babies, according to the latest research, need lots of DHA to feed their rapidly growing brains, and only women with hips and curse have LOTs of that stuff stored up.
Getting a bust enlargement at your local plastic surgeon office DOESN’T COUNT! Don’t be fooled guys into thinking that woman is going to give you great kids…just great sex. You DO want smart kids —don’t you? Uh..uh…
Oh…and shocker…curvier women are smarter themselves! Who knew? You have to be pretty smart to play the dumb blond. I should know. Outside of this enlightening blog, where I discuss the most interesting insights on the political scene…I’m actually, the dumb blond who can’t find her car keys, and has NO clue how to do…anything that requires hard labor. I produced a VERY smart baby. Very high IQ. Genuis level in fact. My son has no clue just how much DHA I contributed to his brain, and some day…I’ll be sure to drop the dumb blond act and tell him.
It’s true…look it up in his books.
Now…I’m not sure I believe this: BUT if you go by this ‘discovery’ that the higher the Omega 3 fat content in a woman’s body, the smarter her children, then Japan would be leading the world in just about everything because Japanese women have more DHA than American women.
If a woman has a small waist, she is less likely to have been pregnant before. If the woman has a bigger waist– their babies grow TOO big. Not good.
American women, due to the fact that the cows are eating corn and not grass, are pretty low on this DHA stuff. The omega 3 vitamins are being processed out of our diet, and since the fashion industry is run by “gay” designers who prefer women to look like young boys–the young girls want to be so thin, they starve themselves out of the necessary DHA they are going to need to make smart babies.Okay…so there’s another reason for all those thin models. Curvier women are more exspensive to ‘dress’…all those ‘darts’.
Remember ladies…tiny waists to men, might be just as exciting as that expensive boob job you’ve been thinking about.
Do a lot of yoga bends,…he’ll never know WHY in the world he is crazy about you, but he will be glad once you give him the next Olympian or Nobel Prize winner.
(Nobody Would Make This Stuff up)
Not many people know, that the mob built Las Vegas with the money from the Union pensions in Chicago. Knowing that, will help explain why Harry Reid, Democratic Senator and former mayor of Las Vegas and also the Gaming Commissioner, would make such a stink about the uniforms of our Olympic athletes, because they were “Made in China.”
“If this flood of outside money continues, the day after the election, 17 angry old white men will wake up and realize they’ve just bought the country.”
(Never mind that Obama has more ‘outside’ money coming in, and most of that money is from dark- skinned communists.)
Really Harry? Is your name on that list? You’re old and white…What number are you? Are you going to give us those 17 names?
I didn’t think so.
Harry wants you to think that HE’s not racist, but— he once had to apologize to — Obama—to whom he referred as being “light-skinned” and “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one”.
Spoken like a true kid who grew up without an outhouse.
Now, let’s compare Harry Reid to Ralph Lauren…a Jewish boy from New York (Maybe Harry doesn’t like Jews) who made a fortune on his own, with his own hard work. He is a world famous designer, and he plans to take those uniforms and sell them to the whole world in all of his stores.
Well..Of COURSE he does! He’s a dirty capitalist! And even though they could be made here, Ralph Lauren was picked to design them, because he has the connections to put that uniform all over the world in all his shops.That’s a global– “branding of America,” and that’s not all bad.
Harry also might be a bit perturbed that even though Ralph Laruen has given $7,300 to Obama since 2008, and more than $35, 000 to the Democratic National Committee, his son David Lauren married Lauren Bush, granddaughter of G.W. Bush.
On the other hand, Reid has done well for himself as a public “servant.” In 2005, he got a spending bill to provide for building a bridge between Nevada and Arizona that would make his land more valuable…and he has helped ruin the country by helping to make Obamacare the law of the land.
For THAT crime, Harry should be banned to China.
Nope. ..Ralph Lauren’s only crime is knowing how to make clothes that lots of people want.
With Harry, on the other hand, we can expect a lot more ridiculous statements like this:
“I think it is much easier to be a good member of the Church and a Democrat than a good member of the Church and a Republican.” (Huh?)
If Harry Reid is a good Mormon, than Jeffery Dalmer was a choir boy.
When it comes to shoes, I haven’t put on a pair of high heels in over ten years…mostly because I had to wear them all the time. Right now. I’m a tennis shoe woman, and K-Mart does me just fine. BUT…Adidas is going to release a new sports shoe called the JS Roundhouse, and for $350 dollars you can strap those plastic shackles around your ankle and feel confident that no $%&% is going to steal them off your feet, and we all know that for $350, there is going to be a LOT of people who are going to want them.
When I wore high heels, I ALWAYS looked for the ankle strap.
But not everyone is happy. Here’s a few comments:
“A chain on your ankle ain’t nothing good for nobody,” Sykes (NBA) said “Whether it be the Jews, the Egyptians, whether it be the African-American slaves, whether it be the Filipino slaves, anything with a shackle on your ankle shouldn’t be made fun of, or like it’s a cool thing to have.”
We showed the shoes to customers and workers at the store. Some say they are racist. Others say they’re just ugly. But no one seems to like them.
“You’re either talking about slavery, or maybe being in jail, but either way it’s glorifying something that no one should be proud of,” one customer said.
Nobody Thinks the designer is onto something here…in fact…since I see those boys all the time walking down the street with their pants falling off…I can’t imagine the horrible feeling they are going through..since I know the horrible feeling I am going through just watching them. So! Why not put some chains AROUND your neck, attached them to your belt…then you can wear those pants as low as you want and NEVER be afraid of them falling off!
Buy a pair of Adidas, rap a song about slavery, and make millions.
Rolex is making a Popeye Yachmaster Rolex watch for your Navy man! Sure…it’s a bit much..only $32,400 dollars but hey— who cares? They are already sold out. You also get a really nifty popeye box to go with it.
If you are in the army, they also have a Beetle Bailey.
Who cares? Most of us can only ‘watch.”
UPDATE: Where is Olive Oil? Is this discrimination?
“Watch” for the gay Green Latern Rolex….
And it SHOULD light up, don’t you think?
Somehow, on the day that Donna Summer, sex Disco goddess, dies at 63, Jane Fonda, the woman who proved that you can survive just about anything, includding years of spouting liberal mush, shows the world just how marvelous a 74- year- old can look!
Plastic Surgery cannot hide sagging skin. And so, what does Jane do? She covers the old skin with light skin-toned material.
As for the face…you have to admit. Money can buy you just about anything but…health. You might not like her politics… but you have to admire her for her spunk. One thing she did do for women, she got them moving again.
Ted Turner…what were you thinking?