Polar Bears VS The Progressive
First, let’s start with the Polar Bear—
Ever since Teddy Roosevelt had the Teddy Bear named after him, America has loved her bears. This was caused by the fact that every single child in America took a cute cuddly Teddy Bear to bed with them. Thanks to Teddy, toy manufacturing millionaires florist overnight until this day, when you can actually go into your local mall and design your own bears to take to bed with you.
(I’d advise getting the child a stuffed Statue of Liberty Teddy Bear, but that’s me.)
The Chinese took notice and made the Panda it’s national symbol. Chinese kids were going to bed with cute little panda dolls. Russia too, wanted to be known as, “THE BEAR.”
So, when progressive Al Gore sounded the alarm about the polar bears dying at the North Pole because global warming was melting the ice, we all ran to our teddy bears and sobbed.
Well, Okay, I didn’t. But I KNOW Prince Charles did.
And then, the pictures were flashed all over the globe: The poor polar bear was stranded on ice…starving!
Forget that polar bears are excellent swimmers. Forget the fact that less ice is GOOD for polar bears because there are more fat seals to find and eat since they feed well into the summer, too much ice means less seals. And forget the fact that there are more polar bears on the planet now, then there has ever been recorded.
And here’s where the progressives extinction comes into play.
Progressives forget that global temperatures have not risen in the last 16 years, AND that the Antarctica is growing exponentially. Therefore, logic says, the polar bears are just fine and a lot smarter than your average progressive.
Progressive cannot figure out that global warming is a hoax to pull on that emotional little kid that is deep in us all, going back to our childhood. We want to protect our Teddy’s.
Who were cuddly and NEVER ate us.
So, who will go extinct first? The polar bear, or the progressive liberal? Which ones survival instinct is more intact?
I don’t know about you, but I’m rooting for the polar bear. The progressive will be long gone, and the polar bear will still be eating fat seals and not the least concerned about any of us.
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinion, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” ——–
Climate change: Last week Kerry and Obama both spoke about what they believe a more dire threat to the United States than the invasion of the welfare snatchers. And when did this idea hit our global elites?
Aurelio Peccei said in the organization’s 1991 publication, The First Global Revolution:
In searching for a new enemy to unite us, we came up with the idea that pollution, the threat of global warming, water shortages, famine, and the like would fit the bill. All for these are caused by human intervention, The real enemy then, is humanity itself. “
And so it was decided to bombard our schools, our universities, our airwaves with the threat of…ourselves.
Nobody Remembers one man who helped fuel the manufactured panic call global warming
From “Human Race Get off Your Knees”
The desperation to avoid the fact that temperatures have been falling has led to the figures being doctored by NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies. This is headed by another close Al Gore Associate, Dr. James Hansen, the man who has been called the father of climate change’ but should really be called ‘the father of the dodgy data that fueled the myth of climate change. Hansen’s NASA institute announced that October 2008 was the hottest on record and yet the experience across the world was of very cold weather and heavy snowstorms. When the obvious inaccuracy of the NASA figures was questioned it turned out that they had used the figures from the warmer month of September and said they were for October. This is highly relevant because the figures published by Hansen’s Institute provide some of the prime data used by the IPCC to support its line about global warming and they have consistently claimed higher temperatures than other figures. I wonder why? It’s not the first time Hansen has been called out either.
In 2007 he was forced to accept that his claim that the 1990s was the hottest decade of the 20th century wasn’t true. The hottest decade was the 1930s when there was dramatically less carbon dioxide being produced.
The good news? The planet is a miracle. Even though man has detonated thousands of atomic bombs all over it, somehow, it manages to survive. Sure, we do major damage in many areas, but in the scale of the planet…please.
The bad news? Politicians will fudge any data, hide any statistics (including keeping separate accounting books with real numbers) in order to get what they want:
Complete control over everything.
In the meantime, excuse me. It’s gloriously hot today, and I’m going swimming.
A great part of mankind…are unavoidably given over to invincible ignorance. –John Locke
What a week it was–The latest Obama blunder is being splashed all over the world, and Nobody Knows where it’s all going to end. Nobody Knows why Susan Rice, went on all the Sunday talk shows to say that Bowe Bergdahl was captured on the field of battle, when men that were in his troop, would like to see him tried and shot for being a deserter. After all, men lost their own lives looking for him.
Susan Rice must do a mean Happy Hour on the Good Ship Lollipop.
Nobody Knows if Bowe the dancer was actually helping the Taliban set just the right bombs to blow up American soldiers, but circumstantial evidence seems to point in that direction. And Nobody Knows if, as reported by WND, the American soldiers were ordered to shoot him on sight if they found him, and if that’s so, then Obama truly DID save his life. Not from the Taliban, but from our own soldiers. In the meantime’s, Obama stands by his decision to release the worst of the worst terrorists, out of Guantanamo, and by his own admission, they could try to kill us all again.
Thanks Mr. President.
The movie is coming soon…
Nobody Knows what the President was smoking when he made this deal, but it wasn’t grown in Colorado,
And speaking of smoking—
Nobody knows exactly WHEN marijuana is going to be legal in all of Obama’s 57 states. The radio is filled now with how overdue legalization is. The marketing potentials are endless! Marijuana could be put into everything! Food, pizza, cupcakes, morning cereal, soda,…our water…making all these Obama scandals much easier to deal with—.and one guy has an even more enticing idea;
Washington state based Mirth Provisions plans to release a cannabis-infused cold-brew coffee called “Legal,” as the new product will only be available in markets where marijuana is legal.
Creator Adam Stites told My Northwest that each bottle will contain about 20 milligrams of THC, enough to create “an alert, creative, high,” but not too much as to make it an unpleasant experience, “especially for people who are just getting into marijuana.”
I can’t wait to get my alert, creative, high, can you?
And speaking of alert creative highs..
Alexander “Sasha” Shulgin, the chemist, pharmacologist and author known for popularising the drug MDMA and creating and synthesizing hundreds of psychoactive drugs, has died aged 88.
Shulgin, dubbed the ‘Godfather of Ecstasy’, died at his home in California after being diagnosed with liver cancer.
Shulgin not only explored and created drugs for college boys to dope their favorite freshman, he published online, over 800 pages on how to make those drugs online..for free, giving a whole new meaning to ‘date rape.’
According to Psychedelic Frontier, Shulgin once estimated he had tripped on psychedelic drugs 4,000 times during his life –roughly once a week for more than 50 years.
Nobody Knows, but Nobody Wonders if Shulgin hung out with Bowe’s Dad.
And speaking of ecstasy….
Nobody Knows that now, the global elites are saying that infidelity is due to …global warming.
(Honey, it’s not MY fault, she was just so…HOT! It’s those damn carbon emissions!)
When asking people who cheated on their spouses, what was the cause, the survey SAID!
Survey respondents also reported they’re more likely to sneak a little on the side in hot weather than in cold. That makes sense — after all, which would you say is sexier, a steamy Miami day or a polar vortex?
Which means in this insane world where nobody seems to know anything, especially Obama and his whole cabinet, we can blame just about everything on global warming.
And that includes Obama’s low IQ.
And why government workers get bonus when people die.
Nobody Knows the actual power of invincible ignorance, but we are finding out, John Locke was right.
If you want to know who is at the top of the ‘crony capitalistic pig’ bozo tree…he’s come out again.
The soon to be King of England, Prince Charles, who, in front of a meeting with all his powerful, rich, elite buddies, just warned them that if they didn’t act like the tyrants they were all meant to be, the world would collapse:
“… We can choose to act now before it is finally too late, using all of the power and influence that each of you can bring to bear to create an inclusive, sustainable and resilient society,” he said in a speech in London to a conference entitled Inclusive Capitalism.
He added: “There will, of course, be hard choices to make, and, take it from me, in the short term, you will not be popular with your peers, but if you stand firm and take the kind of action that is needed, I have every confidence the rewards will be immense.”
“Rewards will be immense.” No kidding. They all are in line to make trillions.
Prince Charles is right…the regular Nobody on the street is going to be furious at the government of the world forcing us little nobodies into more slavery and loss of property.
And then when billions parish from hunger…and the world’s climate hasn’t changed, what will they say then? “Oh, we did what was right.”
Not to let Prince Charles get all the limelight, in the U. S. we have our own village idiot. John Kerry is carrying on the fine tradition of leaders scaring the masses to death to get MORE money and to control them.
“And I know it’s hard to feel the urgency as we sit here on an absolutely beautiful morning in Boston,’ Kerry said, ‘you might not see climate change as an immediate threat to your job, your communities or your families.
‘But let me tell you, it is.’
If the U.S. does not act, ‘and it turns out that the critics and the naysayers and the members of the Flat Earth Society – if it turns out that they’re wrong, then we are risking nothing less than the future of the entire planet,’ Kerry told graduates of the Massachusetts college and their families.”
Personally, I prefer the “Alien have landed and we must unit to save the world!” fear story that Bill Clinton would prefer, but that’s me.
In the meantime, the royal family continues to flash just how low-class they really are:
What? Kate can’t afford to buy underwear? Has Global Warming made her just to hot to bear wearing clothes?
Does she need a bigger butt?
Until England falls into the sea, at least we can be assured of more Royal Family shenanigans making us all wonder….Maybe the mudbloods should take over.
You wouldn’t see Steve Jobs telling people if they do not believe in global warming, don’t buy Apple stock because he thinks you’re stupid. After all, China is the biggest polluter on the planet and that’s where Apple makes all their glorious Apple products, and do you think Apple would personally see that those factories are ‘green’?
(Do YOU want to brush your teeth in the shower like Jennifer Anderson?)
What? Only the rich, elite, snobby, wacko’s will be able to profit from your IPHONE purchase?
Talk about class warfare.
Now, Apple has a new buddy in the green movement, Richard the “Virgin” Branson.
Virgin CEO Richard Branson said that those who are skeptical of man-made global warming should “get out of our way,” joining the ranks of CEOs lashing out against those opposed to business investments in “sustainability.”
Branson made his remarks in the wake of Apple CEO Tim Cook’s telling global warming skeptics to “get out of this stock” if they did not agree with the company’s green investment strategy. Cook made his comments after being confronted by a free-market activist who pressed him on putting the environment ahead of profitable investments .
Can we tell Richard to GROUND all his air polluting airplanes? Can we stay he is sucking the life out of our planet and to please get off it? What happened to your polluting space ships Richard? Not doing so well is it?
This is all a very well connected war plan with the very rich elitist Marxists, who want to rob even MORE of your money for their own pockets. Just think, Apple could start charging you a carbon tax on your IPHONE, and Mr. Virgin could tack a fee on your airline ticket, you dirty polluting pig of a customer.
This Nobody suggests we tax the hot air coming out of these hypocritical elites blowhards.
Until they practice what they preach, and give ALL their profits to save the planet, they can go suck a duck and stop trying to kill ours.
By the way, Branson’s statement conveniently came out just before the big U.S. SENATE marathon on climate change. They want Obama to do an executive order for the planet…otherwise carbon taxes will never pass.
Not to mention—Obama VS Putin has just got to be taken off the daily news.
To me, arguments about religion, are like watching a snake swallow its own tale. In the end the snake eats itself, and there’s nothing left to talk about. And religion is fun to talk about. (See video below, for a man having fun talking about religion.)
Every religion has its stories, and lately, some people have come up with a new twist trying to figure out, just exactly how we all got here. Basically, it’s the story of the Anunnaki, who according to some scholars, were aliens who came here long ago, bred with human women, and improved the race.
(There’s the first flaw…improved?)
Let’s see if I’ve got this story right: Some really curious German guy named Georg Grotefend had been reading ancient Sumerian tablets one afternoon, and read this:
“After the kingship descended from heaven, the kingship was in Eridu. In Eridu, Alulim became king: he ruled for 28,000 years. Then Alalngar reigned for 36,000 years, while En-men-lu-ana ruled for 43,2000 years. “
As you remember, Noah, Seth, Enos and others lived more than 900 years.
(2nd flaw: Who was counting this?)
So, it seems the REASON these guys lived so long is because they were actually from another planet. Moses and Seth were hybrids, so therefore, because of the human woman DNA, they got royally robbed. After the great flood, nobody lived very long. Gilgamesh, only lived for 120 years. (And his descendants live on Gilligan’s island)
The Sumerians (Who were actually aliens) gave us the 60 minutes concept (without we would not have a 60 minute TV show) and the Zodiac, something which none of us could live without. Obviously Nancy Reagan was closer to the Gods than the rest of us.
Now…pay close attention:—-An Alien named Quetzalcoatl, the great teacher of the Mayans, was known as Vircocha to the Incas, and as the sun god Ra to the Egyptians. Evidently this guy zipped all over the planet and build pyramids. (He is also known as Marduk, god of Marmaduke)
So why in the world did these ‘gods’ come to Earth? To mine for gold silly! Greedy bastards live everywhere in the universe. No..the real reason they wanted the gold…get ready for it:
“The Annunnaki sought gold to save their atmosphere, which had apparently sprung leaks similar to those we have created in ours by damaging the Earth’s ozone layer with Hydro fluorocarbons. They disperse extremely tiny flakes of gold into the upper atmosphere to patch holes.”
Right. Global warming is happening everywhere in the universe. If Al Gore starts insisting we need a REALLY high priced world carbon tax to plug our ozone holes with gold, I say we say to him, “ Go back to your mother Gaia, and paint your face with coconut oil, and leave us alone!”
Anyway, the Anunnaki used the Neanderthals as slaves to mine the gold—but they were slow, so two alien brothers: Enlil and Enki (first gay couple) came to take control. Enlil (firstborn) was head ruler. (Aliens also practiced the stupid habit of giving the oldest son control) Enlil was mission commander, and Enki was executive and science officer…and guess what? They didn’t get along.
Enki drained the marshes on the northern shore of the Persian Gulf, and with his son Marduk —-they worked on irrigating the land between the Tigris and Euphrates. Murduk later nuked the Tower of Babel, and other places, and became RA the first ruler of Egypt.
(3rd flaw: You can have only so many alien RA’s)
All the pharaohs were Marduk’s offspring: Geg and Nut, Osiris, Isis, Seth, ..and one day they built the Great Pyramid to imprisoned Murdock because he was just nuking too much, and making big holes in the planet, like the Dead Sea.
Enki had a girlfriend named Ninhursag and they produced the first test tube baby: Adam…who was a combination of an African human woman, and a young Anunnaki male. But an alien woman carried the child to term. So that explains how Adam got here. Seeing what they had done, like the typical rulers all over the universe they said this:
“The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever. “
So they put caps on our DNA so we would die and not get too smart. Now it’s called Obamacare. (There are rulers, and then there’s the rest of us, and it’s best we stay stupid, according to them.)
So there they were, Alien gods, fornicating day and night with the women of the earth, and then one day Enlil complained that the sound of mating humans kept him awake at night. (I HATE when that happens) And so he decided to kill them all, with Obamacare..
No…no…he did it with a flood.
But Enki was way ahead of him, He helped his hybrid Noah build a boat, supplied it with all the DNA of the planet, (taking a lot of weight off Noah who was trying to figure out how to walk the elephants to the bathroom) and voila! Human kind flourish to this day!
So you can thank the alien Enki, not God, that we are all here. According to the legends, they were just like us: They were vain, petty, cruel, incestuous, and hateful. And that’s why Hillary Clinton will run for President: She just can’t help herself.
Oh— the Anunnaki also developed the wheel, schools, medical science, the fisrt written proverbs, history, taxation, laws, social reforms, the first cosmogony and the first money, as well as the first bicameral Congress. I suggest we go to THEIR planet and make them mine for gold.
And the Rothschild’s claim to be direct descendants of the Sumarian Kings.
Now, wasn’t that fun?
(Nobody Notes: So…did anybody like any of those other templates, or does this one suit you fine? If it does, I’ll try to figure out how to make the fonts bigger, which is my main concern. Thanks for putting up with my Monkish proclivities. )
All info out of Jim Mars: Our Occulted History
Okay. So— it’s too cold.
Today, besides not being able to find the angel topping for my Christmas tree…(I’ll find it the day AFTER Christmas) I am already tired of hearing about Nelson Mandela. And of course, the Obama’s, who did not go to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral, are flying to Africa (on our dime) to attend the funeral of Mandela in hopes that some of that pixie dust will rub off, and he can somehow crown himself the new black messiah. And by the way…I thought I read somewhere that Mandela refused to see Obama—- If he had seen him, I’m sure we’d be seeing that picture everywhere.
I’m sure the Obama’s are excited just to be able to get out of the country they really don’t like living in.
Another thing that gets my blood boiling today was the news about Obama trying to kill off our eagles.
The liberals who are all about ‘saving the planet” and the polar bears, could care less about eagles.
This just in from Drudge:
The Obama administration is about to approve a rule that will ensure the death of golden and bald eagles for the next 30 more years.
Hundreds of thousands of birds die each year flying into the deadly turbine blades atop the soaring towers that compose wind farms. The rule will give wind farms thirty year permits for the “non purposeful take of eagles-that is where the take is associated with but not the purpose of, the activity.’’ The take of eagles is also a euphemism for the slaughter of them.
In the 1970’s the bald eagle was all but extinct. There were only about 50 known to exist. Some very caring humans worked very hard to bring them BACK . And they did. And now, this STUPID idea of wind mills (I don’t care what they say…it’s stupid) will kill off thousands of birds. And by the way, for the first time in history the monarch butterflies did not appear in Mexico this year…they came staggering in…Elephants are being slaughtered in Africa by the hundreds…
Where oh where are all the liberals bleeding hearts about the OTHER creatures that live on the planet?
Obama be damned. So, he wants to not only change America, but destroy the symbol that has always represented it. What’s the new symbol going to be…a drone with his picture on it?
It has nothing to do with Christmas, but everything to do with the fact that the Kardashians are much like the Federal Reserve: they can make money out of thin air. And they walk on trash. Bruce Jenner is in a tube.
You figure it out.
For all those readers that wonder about my sanity, and whether I checked background information on this important subject, let me say right up front—-I have NEVER watched that show. Life is too short. I never saw an episode of Dallas either.
What does that mean? I don’t even want to know.
And that’s my Nobody Cares bitch for today. Sorry. I’ll crawl back into my hole now.
—-Which brings me to an idea: maybe I should put a “Donate to Joyanna’s lobotomy” on my site. I could then just go out an BUY a new topping for my tree.—-
—–An angel riding an eagle Christmas tree topper!
Wait…I could MAKE them and sell them…
(STOP Joyanna! Now I know what happens when you stare at the Kardashian’s Christmas card too long.)
In case you haven’t heard the news, you only have thirty more years on the planet. Excited? According to Sir Bob Geldoff…the clock is ticking.
First, you have to wonder WHY the Queen made a lord out of Bob Goofoff…er Sir Geldolf. By the likes of his hair, he only gets out of bed to proclaim the world is ending, so that he can throw a big party to raise millions, and then pocket his next ticket to whatever paradise he happens to sleep in. He says that all the people of the world will die by 2030. Known for his “LIVE AID’ concert, to fight famine in Africa in 1985…Bob has come out of his gerbil hole to speak again:
The former Boomtown Rats singer also warned “the next war will not be a World War One or a World War Two, it will be the end.” He added: “We may not get to 2030. We need to address the problem of climate change urgently.”
It’s time to ratchet up the global warming takeover….because soon, they will not be able to claim the earth is warming, and Bob will have to invent another problem, like BIG RATS taking over the earth. After all, x-musicians with no talent have to do something to make a living. Besides, the poor man is just not getting any sleep over the upcoming destruction of us all. Who WILL do his hair? All the hairdressers will be dead from heat stroke. Clearly, Bob didn’t mention this fact, but its obvious it’s on his list of worries:
The extraordinary “reverse” of global warming has led to a 60 per cent rise in ice-covered ocean. Just six years ago, some scientists were predicting that all of this ice would have melted away by 2013.
What would REALLY impress us, is if some body would give a concert to end the corruption in tyrannical governments. Now that would be worth a lordship!
We need to WRITE that Queen. Clearly, she is not paying attention to her Queenly duties.
But It seems there is good news…finally. Despite the years of chicken little Al Gore and his various university puppets screaming for us all to go back into the dark ages, with our candles and walking sticks, there is now evidence that the Antarctic is actually getting colder;
The news appears in the latest SciencExpress, and it shows that the vast majority of the Antarctic landmass is rapidly gaining ice and snow cover. Obviously this moisture comes from the sea. And, being deposited in solid form on the land-way-down-under, this lowers the earth’s sea level. For instance, most of Antarctica has actually been cooling for the past couple of decades (see here for more details). And now comes word that the snow and ice cover over large portions of Antarctica has been increasing, leading to a drawdown of global sea level.
This means Florida will NOT disappear anytime soon, sorry Al. (I have a few lots to sell…any takers?)
WASHINGTON — Wind energy facilities have killed at least 67 golden and bald eagles in the last five years, but the figure could be much higher, according to a new scientific study by government biologists. cluster of wind farms in a northern California area known as Altamont Pass. Wind farms built there decades ago kill more than 60 per year.
The eagle was almost extinct back in the 70’s—-but due to some very talented and dedicated nature lovers they were bought BACK from the brink…only to face extinction again by the same people who ironically used pictures of Polar Bears stranded on Ice to promote global warmng so that Al Gore and his friends go set up a really nifty way to collect MORE money, by promoting Wind Energy. And it’s not just the Eagles that are getting cut up. Thousands of other birds being smashed by Windmills, on daily basis.
Nobody Wins when political hacks use faulty science to back their claims that mankind is causing the seas to rise, just so they can collect more taxes.
And Nobody Wins, when they refuse to tell the world that what actually might be coming…is another ice age, which is MUCH worse. The Polar Bears are going to be fine. The rest of us…well…..let’s just say we will long for the day when we could actually get OUT of our driveways.
But…if you live in Arizona…I’m pretty sure you’re safe. Seattle? Not so much. I suggest you start moving now.
Nobody Get Email
Wow! History shows that this global warming has been around before!
Obama thought he’d make himself another historical moment in time by speaking at the Berlin Wall today, but it turned out to be a big nothing. The novelty of the first black American President was just that it seems…a novelty. Last time he spoke at the wall, it was “Hey, let’s all go see the first BLACK American President!” and 200,000 showed up. Today, only 5,000 came, and they were all invited.
His own family didn’t show up, they went sight-seeing.
But, that didn’t stop Obama for trying to score brownie points with the liberals of the world, and especially those at home who just found out that Obama is worse than Bush, and is listening to their every word…so he needs to shore up his friends and give them some hope, and the usual liberal Hollywood elites made a video to help Obama promote his new mission: Save the world from nuclear weapons. In the video, they demand “Zero”
Oh right. If these people think that by demanding Russia and Iran to get rid of their nuclear weapons, then obviously, they need to replace their cracked mirrors in their mansions.
Let’s see…check out these recent pictures…body language tells the story here. Look at Obama compared to Putin. Obama is sweatin.’ He has met a man who isn’t afraid of the community organizer, or his Hollywood friends. Obama will disarm us, and Putin will continue to stockpile.
And Russia just did something many Americans, including this Nobody, thinks is smart. They made it illegal to teach homosexuality in grade school. Really. There should be NO sex taught to kids at all when they are young. America is starting in kindergarten with that nonsense.
And America has to now go to Russia to get into space. It’s almost…embarrassing.
But Obama wasn’t concerned about that: He was busy preaching to the Germans about saving the rest of the world. Give the elites lots of money, and they will solve global warming and poverty. (These vacations are getting expensive.)
“We may enjoy a standard of living that is the envy of the world, but so long as hundreds of millions endure the agony of an empty stomach or the anguish of unemployment, we’re not truly prosperous,” Obama said. “We are more free when all people can pursue their own happiness.”—–“more severe storms, more famine and floods, new waves of refugees, coast lines that vanish, oceans that rise. This is the future we must avert, This is the global threat of our time. And for the sake of future generations, our generation must move toward a global compact to confront a changing climate before it is too late. That is our job. That is our task. We have to get to work.”
Nobody Wins when you have an American President, giving speeches around the world in order to take fabulous vacations. Many suggest he is just campaigning for when he gets out of office, which in my Nobody’s Opinion, should have been five years ago….but who’s counting?
Nobody Gets Email
The elites will continue to push Global warming, and they are getting very creative at propaganda. Here they put two liberal messages in one so-called joke. Message One: Men are stupid and mess up nature. Message Two: People that live in the suburbs are morons and all this mowing of lawns is a complete waste of God’s green earth.
It was sent to me by my liberal friend JR….and he thought it was true and clever, but of course he did. Note that since many liberals do not believe in God, isn’t it clever how they used GOD in the joke? I’ll let you ponder that.
Conversation between God and St. Francis. It would be funny if it weren’t so true…
GOD–Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But, it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren’t going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It’s a natural cycle of life.
ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: ‘Dumb and Dumber’, Lord. It’s a story about….
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
Rush Limbaugh came to the conclusion today, that nobody will ever blame Obama for anything in history because…he doesn’t lead, therefore, because he doesn’t really lead, but stays in campaign mode, everybody likes all his empty promises, because they sound so….lofty.
What I think Rush has missed, is that after eight years of Bubba and his darling wife, we would have voted for any change. I fell into George’s W. Bush’s words of hope, just as fast as a man dying of thirst runs to the nearest bottle of water. When he was campaigning, George W. said ALL the right things. Rubio sounds just like the old George W. We were looking for a hero, and he was there.
And then…well, watch this video. Many conservatives can whine and say that Freddie and Fannie were pushed into putting out bad loans by Barney Frank (and they were) BUT…George W. was right up there making the case for the loans that caused the housing debacle, and this video proves it.
And then…he did the first bail out. So, many conservatives feel, that if George W. had not strayed so far from his conservative principles, Obama would not have been elected. I have my own Nobody Opinions on the whole matter myself…which leans towards what many would call a conspiracy theory: At the top we have one party, with the powerful from both sides, who are working for the same goals.
And that goal is globalization. In globalization there are no borders….
Nobody Wins when a plutocracy rules, and that’s what we have. The men and women that have the REAL control are all millionaires and billionares. Dr. Corsi concluded that these people want the ruling class at the very top to reap the fruits of capitalism, while the masses are ruled in communism. Why do you think they all speak so highly of China? The fortunes of the top 500 companies make more than most nations. We are nearer to the Minority Report than we think.
It’s the Third Way of Bill Clinton. It’s the New World Order of Daddy Bush. It’s the Globalization of George W. Bush, but it’s always business as usual: Follow the money.
And that’s why the top people of both parties will make sure that the “people” are never represented again..
This week the biggest $*%&up in Superbowl history, pretty much made the United States the laughing stock of the world. By now, everyone knows that half the stadium’s lights went out in the middle of the game, the most watched game in Superbowl’s history.
Ha, Ha…ha ha….
Nobody seems to know what caused the blackout…but anyone with common sense knows that the half-time shows keep getting bigger and more fantastic….and it seems to reason…Beyonce’s show blew more than a couple of generators.
After all, we don’t get to show off our stuff much to the world anymore. After London’s big Olympic festival, we’ve just been dying to show everyone how’s it’s done. …but….
“Beyoncé blew the electric in the Superdome twice, I’m told, during her rehearsals during the week. So they should have known that this might happen.” said Craig Carton. “I mean, it was embarrassing.”
I almost felt like Obama was directing it this year, because to start out with all the kids from Sandy Hook singing the National Anthem…come on. Really? This is a FOOTBALL game. Can’t we get away from politics for just a few minutes?
NO. Not only did we get Sandy Hook, we got Obama’s two favorite big fan supporters: Alicia Keys and Beyoncé. And even after poor Madonna went all over the world telling everyone to vote for Obama last year.
To save Obama’s face for his very best rich friend Beyoncé, the NFL spokesman came out and said there was no way it was Beyoncé’s fault. Everyone is all over the place saying “Oh…Beyonce is not at fault. oh nooooooooo.”
In this new ‘efficient” energy program coming soon to your neighborhood, all lights will be turned off in every city after 10 pm…to save the planet.
What’s really embarrassing is that the whole world was watching. Here’s what Brazil had to say:
Brazil–Brazilians usually have little time for the U.S. version of football, but they can’t stop talking about this year’s Super Bowl. Subjected for years to questions about whether Brazil is prepared to effectively host the 2014 World Cup and 2016 Rio Summer Olympics, there was more than a little glee as the world’s richest country messed up its most important sporting event.
Yes, one disaster after another is happening in Obama’s Presidency. First time the United States was downgraded: First time our salaries were cut: First Time one President spent as much money as all the ones before him: First Time a President chewed gum throughout everything serious. First time we have a President who wants us all to disarm the whole country, lose weight, and not let our kids play football.First time illegals were given amnesty, First time a President can arrest anyone at anytime with no trial. First time a president arrested a man for making a video he didn’t like…(I could go on)
You won the “The NFL is too afraid to stand up to Beyoncé’s use of energy because she’s Obama’s best friend.” award.
Obviously, Obama had a say in the whole thing. If the NFL is willing to let a President change the rules of football, why bother with the ego of his favorite singer?
Next year…get it together..
Blame it on global warming