Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody’s Email: Conumdrums

Nobody Gets Email–

And SPEAKING of the meaning of words—–here’s an email which takes a simple word to the full extent of its meaning…

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Kris)


Conundrums
The definition of the word conundrum is something that is puzzling or confusing.bear in hammock

Here are six conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:

  1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized.
  2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims.

  3. They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government.

  4. Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer.

  5. The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

  6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about – yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Think about it!
That, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st century.

Makes you wonder who is doing the math.

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the
direction of our current government and cultural environment:

We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics.

Funny how that works.

And here’s another one worth considering…

Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to run out of money. How come we never hear about welfare or food stamps running out of money? What’s interesting is the first group “worked for” their money, but the second didn’t. Think about it…..and last but not least,

Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, no pay raises for our military and cutting our army to a level lower than before WWII, but we are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens?

Am I the only one missing something?

October 18, 2014 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 1 Comment

Nobody Knows….

Nobody Knows….cold

Last night I had a terrific cold, along with aches and pains, and as I sat down to write, my computer mal-functioned.

To which I said, “%#@&” it.

Be rest assured that the Nobody Knows column next week, at this time, will be much more entertaining.

October 15, 2014 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 1 Comment

Nobody’s Email: Overly Attached Uncle Sam

Nobody Gets Email

Not awake yet? Then don’t miss this…One-of-a-kind, rather incredibe version of the Star Spangled Banner….then applaud! (LOL)

(Thanks to Conservative)

October 11, 2014 Posted by | humor, NASA | , | Leave a comment

Gwyneth Paltrow: Obama’s Submissive

Nobody Cares

Everyone is talking today about what Gwyneth Paltrow said about Obama while she introduced him at a fundraiser party she gave at her mansion in Brentwood:Gwyneth Paltrow

“You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly,” said Paltrow, who “consciously uncoupled” from her husband, Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin, earlier this year.   It would be wonderful,” Paltrow said of Obama, “if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass.”

So, Nobody Cares if I translate what she said OFF the mike, probably in her bedroom, while little Moses and Apple were being entertained by her illegal immigrant housekeeper

“Oh…I just can’t speak, I’m breathless with excitement! To have you here, so close! I promise I WILL sign your contract! Here, I have it in my drawer…next to the bed. My lawyers told me there were at least 300 shades of gray in this contract, but, I don’t care. I  promise to be your submissive, and you will do anything you want to me, and even punish me when I’m bad, Yes, I WANT you to punish me, because you are just so HOT!”

“Want some blow? It’s better than cheese!

Yes, getting those black voters out in November is not going to be easy, so the next step; THE WOMAN! We have to get the women all hot and bothered again.

Obama is HOT! He is good-looking, he will leave you speechless! (and your children sick or dead.)

Go to the voting both and VOTE, like Gwyneth. Give your entire life and your children over to this man.

So, how much was this ditzy, horny woman paid to say this to Obama? (Message sent.)


After all, the liberals KNOW the power of movie stars, and they use them all very effectively to get out their agenda’s. Look what happened to Chevron—

Actress Mia Farrow is under attack for secretly being paid $188,000 to promote a lawsuit against Chevron for allegedly poisoning the jungle and harming indigenous peoples. An Ecuadorian court ruled against the U.S. oil giant, ordering it to pay more than $9 billion in compensation. 

By the way, Paltrow’s children, Apple and Moses, (Uh…why doesn’t she just change her name to EVE?) look VERY embarrassed about their mommy acting so…’sexual’ towards a man, who is not their daddy.

Is it any wonder so many Hollywood kids overdose on drugs?  Paltrow

 

October 10, 2014 Posted by | Barack Obama, humor, Uncategorized | , | 2 Comments

Joe Biden…..Who?

Nobody Wonders—-

IF we can survive, not only our current political bozos in Washington D.C., but the horror of our educational system.

What else explains these people? (besides daily use of various mind-blowing drugs.) Then again, what if they KNEW who he was, and thought he was cool?

Enjoy!

October 8, 2014 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Alaska Has Great Signs

Nobody Gets Email:

Hey, some of you DID send some things! Cool!

Not to let Australia get by alone, this was sent by a reader who took these while he was in Alaska.

It seems, people in Alaska have a favorite pastime!

CLUE…find the bears.

(Thanks to John Cooper)

Alaska oneAlaska two

 

October 5, 2014 Posted by | humor | | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Email: Pictures From Down Under

Nobody Gets Email

This just in from my friend amfortas, who lives in Tasmania! And it’s good to know, that email is pretty much the same all over the world. If you have ever gotten a “customers of Wal-Mart” email, you know what I’m talking about.

Here’s a few of the lovely pictures of life down under. (Thanks to amfortas, who lives in a much SAFER neighborhood…I hope.)

Australia sevenAustralia fourAusterlina 8Australia twoAustralia threeAustraliz oneAustraia tan linesAustralia sixBy the way…have an email you think is great?

Go ahead and send it to me—so everybody can enjoy!

October 5, 2014 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Email: Top Ten Reasons to Vote Democrat

Nobody Gets Email:

Somebody somewhere dreamed up this David Letterman Top Ten list: We all know this is WAY better than anything Dave does anymore…so let’s all just pretend.

(Thanks to Kris)


#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd. Letterman

#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.

#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

#6. I vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

#5. I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

…And the

#1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish here in America. We don’t care about the beetles, gophers or fish in those other countries.


October 4, 2014 Posted by | democrats, humor, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: 2014 Conference on Aging

Nobody Gets Email

This is a great video,to set the weekend off to a good start. Fritz is a weatherman in Los Angeles…

And he could very well do standup in Vegas.

ENJOY!

(Thanks to JR)

October 4, 2014 Posted by | humor | | 1 Comment

Nobody’s Email: Two Dining Dogs

Nobody Gets Email

You either think this is funny, or cruel. My husband thinks its cruel, I thought it was funny.

Showing that not all  stereotypes of the sexes work in every single case.

Enjoy! Or not.

(Thanks to JR)

September 28, 2014 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Putin, Bush, and the Queen in Hell

Nobody Gets Email

I wonder who thought THIS one up? (Ha!)absentee ballot
(Thanks to Kris)
******
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
*****
While there, they spot a red phone and ask what it’s for. The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished, the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
*****
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes and when she is finished, the Devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
*****
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished, the Devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this, he goes ballistic, and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
*****
The Devil smiles and replies, “Since Obama took over, the country’s gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”
*****
rim shot.
 

September 28, 2014 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: 12-year Old Interviews Eric Holder

Nobody Gets Email

Here’s an oldie but goodie video out of my email bag…just so that we don’t forget Eric Holder and all his crimes.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Eric Crowder)

September 27, 2014 Posted by | corruption, humor | , | Leave a comment

Speaking of Muslims….

Nobody Gets Email:

It’s Saturday! Let’s get right to the good stuff:

(Thanks to Kris)


Marked dollar bill You don’t think we’re in a war?

Untitledattachment000051
A lady in Monte Vista, CO had this dollar bill.  This is her story. After dinner she took a $1 dollar bill out of her purse and displayed it on the table.  Underneath the words “In God We Trust” someone had stamped the dollar bill in red ink— NO GOD BUT ALLAH. We asked her where she got this dollar bill.  She said it was part of her change in Alamosa , CO .

We took this picture of her dollar bill.  These are beginning to show up all around our country!  If anyone tries to give you one of these dollar bills as change, please refuse it and ask them to give you a dollar bill that has not been defaced.

Send this on to everyone you can.  May God bless our USA — And quickly, before what we know and love is forever gone!


And speaking of Muslims….who doesn’t love Maxine? Maxine 8

 

September 20, 2014 Posted by | humor, Muslims, Uncategorized | , | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Perfect: Miss America VS Cartoon Characters in Times Square

Nobody’s Perfect

This week, we don’t have to go any further than that great melting pot of talent called New York.

We have a Nobody’s Perfect contest between the people who dress up as Cartoon Characters in Times Square, VS the newly crowned Miss America, who, you guessed it— is from New York!

This is going to be a tough one.

First: Let’s take the dweebs that harass tourists in Times Square. It seems there are ways to make a living, and there are ways to…make a living and not pay taxes. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Times Square, but since Rudy Giuliani cleaned up the “LIVE SEX ON STAGE!” acts, ALL the men from Wall Street have gone mad…wait….no…. the corporates have moved in and made it a very family friendly experience— you know, a place you can take the kids and watch Batman and Spiderman duke it out…for REAL. Several weeks ago, Spiderman hit a cop, and yes, Batman and Spiderman were arrested for fighting.

Cookie Monster has been known to grab at other things besides cookies.

Since I can’t figure out why Marvel doesn’t sue these people for using their trademarked and copyrighted images, it seems the city of New York has let this go on. But, too many people are showing up dressed as Cartoon Character (70?) and that means too many guys bantering for the same $5.00.

Second: And then you have Miss America…

Kira Kazantsev, the contestant from New York,  won the Miss America contest last night, and everybody today is having trouble understanding why.  In the talent contest she decided to sit on the floor and play…not four, not fifteen, not twenty, but ONE plastic cup. And that was even hard for her.

I couldn’t figure this out. She had a decent voice, WHY distract from it?   You can’t imagine the horror of all New Yorkers…a place that has been known to produce some of the finest talent in the world. And this insult after the fantastic funeral from a REAL New Yorker…Joan Rivers.

I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t make me want to visit Broadway any time soon.

So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week?

Frankly, I didn’t watch the Miss America contest, so I’m going by the video here. I’m guessing she looked pretty good in her swimsuit, or somebody donated a LOT of money to the right judge. While the rest of America wonders what in the world this girl did in college to learn how to play cups besides drink shots of vodka, we can only wonder why she didn’t just sing the song standing on her feet. Still, there have been worse acts to come out of New York…Hillary Clinton for one.

As for Batman and Spiderman getting in a fist fight in Times Square?de blasio 2

Shame on them. I’m almost tempted to get a plane to New York, dress up as Wonder Woman, and throw them both out of Times Square!

(Ha! Ha!) Sure. Maybe I’ll just follow them around and beat loudly on a plastic cup, while singing “I’m Henry the VII I am!”  and drive them crazy enough that they quit and get a minimum wage job like the rest of us.

So, it’s official—- the Mayor of New York wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week.

Be the draconian progressive that you are Mayor De Blasio, and make these people pay taxes like the rest of us, or let Marvel take them to court.

Didn’t you learn ANYTHING in Russia?

September 15, 2014 Posted by | American Culture, humor, Uncategorized | , | 2 Comments

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