Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody Flashes NFL Bad Lip Reading

Nobody Flashes

It’s SUPERBOWL WEEKEND!!!

Time for some bad lip reading….before the puppy bowl. Go ahead and watch it on YouTube…really funny. And remember…Krypton, is not a planet.

Enjoy!

February 6, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Christianity by Dave Allen

Nobody Gets Email

We could all use a good laugh…no matter what you think about the church and religion, sometimes it’s good to just sit back and make fun of ourselves.

This is in the old tradition of Benny Hill. The Brits are crazy sorts.. and make very funny comedians. The best part is his description of Adam and Eve….

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Merger)

January 16, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Perfect: Drinky VS Japanese Sex Doll

Nobody’s Perfect

This week, we have two robots invented for lonely souls: Drinky VS Sex Robot (insert..whatever name you want to name her, here:______.)

Yes….America won the war with Japan. But, they came back and destroyed our auto industry. Revenge is sweet. And now, the Japanese are going for the BIGGER American market.

The market of all markets: Sex and booze. They give us: Drinky VS Sex Woman

First up: Some lonely Asian named Eunchan Park was pretty upset that he had to drink alone on Christmas Eve. So, he invented Drinky.  A lovable ‘guy’ who will toast you, and drink with you all night long. Best of all, he will listen to all your complaints. Although, he’s not perfect…he can’t stumble down, or throw up with you yet, or tell a good joke, but, give him time.

On the other hand, Japanese men must be having problems finding sexual partners…because some guy got lonely, and wanted a real sex doll to talk to. You COULD buy just a regular rubber sex doll, who should delight you…but this one winks, smiles, nods, and bows.

Wow. A woman who will bow to you! The American men will go insane. Now that Tinder has been exposed as a fraud, it won’t be long before American women will have a hard time finding any man to buy her a drink. Japanese Sex Doll is not perfect yet. I don’t think she can cook breakfast, but I’m not sure that’s important.

So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week?

Is it Drinky, who will always be there on every holiday to drink with you when nobody else will?

Or is it the Japanese Sex companion? A woman who by all accounts, looks like the REAL thing?

Drinky wins! Why you ask?  He’s inexpensive, you can take him everywhere, and compared to the Robot Sex Woman, whose price is over $5,000, not many POOR men can afford her. But the poor drinking man (or woman, and I know a few I could give one of these too) would love to have Drinky sitting on their kitchen table.

On the other hand, Japanese Sex Doll is cheaper than your average divorce, and you can turn her off. Something that you can’t do with most women.

So….Congratulations Drinky! You win the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week.

Now, I suggest we send the loser to Bill Clinton, he must get VERY lonely.

January 11, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | 3 Comments

Nobody Knows in EXACTLY 500 Words

Nobody Knowsfunny three

Ignorance is everywhere…in fact, it’s the hottest thing going now around the world. So, let’s begin counting up some of the things that in January of 2015, remain a mystery.

Nobody Knows…

—Why they were advertizing the Powerball amount ($550 mil) every hour, and what happens to the money that the government takes from the person who wins… which is well over half….(not including the taxes you pay after the fact) where does it go? To who? To what? Nobody knows.


—If a town that doesn’t have a football team, (The Rams want to move from St. Louis to L.A.) will go ahead and build an empty stadium just so black contractor’s can have a job.  Seems to be the case.


–Whose BRIGHT idea it was to tie the international money markets to each other so that if one fell down, everybody else’s did too.


—-If ANYONE will watch the remake of the O.J. Simpson trial on Cable. And WHY?funny kim


—If Bernie Sanders really wins the nomination, will he step aside for Hillary?


—-If someone will ask Jeb Bush how he KNOWS that Donald Trump will NOT be President, (He keeps saying it.) because if he does know who the President will be, then the whole process is rigged and Jeb Bush must be part of it.


—Why my friend who works for the Police Department is scared even to tell me what crimes she reported on that day. It’s like she is sworn to secrecy of a secret society and something terrible will happen to her if she even tells me about a traffic accident. And why she doesn’t even think that’s a bit like working in the KGB.


—If the mendacious Hillary will ever tell the truth about anything, and if she is getting Botox.funny five


—How many times I can watch the movie John Wick. (five so far)

—If the reason they keep playing Rocky movies on TV is because nobody is going to see his new one.


—-If  Sly is trying to sell his house in Miami, so that he can leave the country so he doesn’t have to pay taxes?


—WHY…it’s okay that Paul Ryan put a bill on Obama’s desk to repeal Obamacare, but when Ted Cruz stood up in the first place to protest it, and NOBODY was there to help him, he was ostracized by every one of them. They all condemned him for doing such a hopeless thing because Obama would veto it. Well…Obama is going to veto Ryan’s bill. WHY is Ryan a big deal and Cruz not?


—How many people are going to die BECAUSE of Obamacare.

Nobody Knows, who took THIS picture?

Nobody Knows, who took THIS picture?


—Why we aren’t seeing more of the sewage and dead animals from the great flood of the Mississippi rolling down to New Orleans on our news programs?


If you bake an egg, is it really better than boiling it?


Nobody Knows, If I can write EXACTLY 450 words.

(I did it.)

 

January 6, 2016 Posted by | American Culture, humor, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Iron Zuckerface…Answer the Doorbell.

Nobody Flashes:

“My personal challenge for 2016 is to build a simple AI to run my home and help me with my work. You can think of it kind of like Jarvis in Iron Man. Every challenge has a theme, and this year’s theme is invention.This should be a fun intellectual challenge to code this for myself. I’m looking forward to sharing what I learn over the course of the year.”Zuckerberg robot

Mark Zuckerface announced his New Year’s resolution: He is going to invent a Butler. A machine Butler. Forget those old Mexicans…those are for OTHER rich people. No…if this butler works, and rich people start buying them, than THINK: The Mexicans who work for the rich as cooks, gardeners, maids, and butlers, will be out of a job. What a cruel thing to do!…Putting illegals out of a job, and keeping the American dream forever away from them?

So….why is Mark promoting amnesty and more immigration then, if he is thinking of replacing them all with robots? Well, don’t fret. Mark will need cheap labor from all countries to work for Mark to MAKE those cheap butlers.

Mark added: “I’ll teach it to let friends in by looking at their faces when they ring the doorbell,” he wrote. “I’ll teach it to let me know if anything is going on in Max’s room that I need to check on when I’m not with her.”

Yes, Mark’s new butler will be able to look them in the eye and take their picture, and face scan too.

Of course, only the rich will be able to afford one. Or maybe this is just to make his rich friends jealous. Or he just got bored. Or he thinks he’s really Ironman.

Mark’s butler will be a smashing success for one reason: Mark always wears the same tee-shirt and jeans, and polishing his shoes won’t fry any circuits.

Now…if he can make one for every person on the planet…a robot that will clean the house, wash the dishes, do the laundry, pick up dog poop, feed the cat, change the diaper, pick up gumballs, mow the lawn, answer and read out-loud ALL the FACEBOOKS emails from all her friends, take care of ALL Emails and trash jobs..and do all the man jobs that women can’t do….. then woman will forever be grateful.

Until that moment, then, keep inventing Zuckerface. Jeff Bezos is going to Mars, someday…and when he does finally leave, you’ll be King.

 

 

 

January 4, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | 1 Comment

Nobody’s Fool: Ted Cruz—Brilliant

Nobody’s Fool

I just watched a video of Hillary Clinton all upset and playing the victim of how mean and nasty Trump is to her…and then I saw this:

What a GREAT ad! Ted Cruz did a “Clinton” trick! He used his beautiful little girls to smack Hillary right in the nose! Brilliant!

And when the press came out and accused him of using his kids like monkeys, Ted Cruz cried “How COULD they? Now they are going after the children!” (paraphrase)

HA HA HA! ..HO HO HO!

I just talked to my sister-in-law who said that both my brother and her are all for Cruz….and if Hillary becomes President, she is moving to the Cayman Islands and getting a job as a maid.

While I still want a Trump/Cruz ticket, mostly because “It’s the economy stupid” and even though Cruz is my second choice…

This IS the best commercial attack ad so far.

So…Congratulations Mr. Cruz! Not only for showing off your adorable children, but giving Hillary the best attack that she DARE not approach.

You win the Nobody’s Fool Award of the week!

And on that note,

I’m off the next two days!…I’ll post some simple stuff, but everybody have the best Christmas ever!

December 23, 2015 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | 2 Comments

Tina Never Looked so Good.

Nobody Flashes

Sarah Palin makes fun of Tina Fey! or is it Tina Nay?

Enjoy!

December 22, 2015 Posted by | humor | , | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Perfect: Steve Harvey VS Frank E. Blake Jr.

Nobody’s Perfect

This week, we have two gentlemen who lose all perspective when it comes to the opposite sex: Steve Harvey VS Frank E. Blake Jr.

What did Steve Harvey do? He announced the wrong winner of the Miss Universe contest. We’re not sure how this happened: Was it a bit of undigested beef? Trouble with the teleprompter? Somebody whispered in his ear to “change” it? Or simply, Mr. Harvey was just so overwhelmed by all the beautiful women on the stage he had a brain fart. Whatever the reason, at least he admitted that he made a mistake. It’s bound to up his ratings on the Family Feud.

And then we have Frank E. Blake Jr.Frank the bigamist

HENRICO, Va. (AP) — A Virginia man will be spending more time behind bars after his second and third wives showed up to visit him in jail at the same time.

The Richmond Times-Dispatch (http://bit.ly/1JbwD2d ) reports that Frank E. Blake Jr.’s visitors led investigators to discover that Blake hadn’t divorced his second wife before he married his third wife. Authorities also say Blake married his second wife before his divorce from his first wife was finalized. It’s unclear why Blake was initially in jail.

I love it. The man really didn’t think it was a felony to marry another women, even though he wasn’t officially divorced from his second wife. I want to know what happened to the first wife, don’t you? And by the way, if nobody knows why he’s in jail—why not let him out? Maybe he wants to be there. Who knows what his first wife wants to do to him.

So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award when it comes to being around women and losing their logical minds for the week?

Is it Steve Harvey? A man who embarrassed the whole country of Columbia, a country filled with drug lords, who right now, are planning his extermination?

Or it is Frank E. Blake Jr, who wants to have two wives while he’s in jail, never dreaming they’d both show up on the same day?

I think I’ll let God decide this one…and be thankful, I’m not either guy.

December 21, 2015 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: The Talking Muslim Doll

Nobody Gets Email:

(Thanks to Kris!)

New toy just in time for Christmas

cid:0A34E896F0D649C6A5CFF1141F39BAEF@DaniellePC

The latest toy has hit the shops….a talking Muslim doll.

Nobody knows what it says, because no one has the guts to pull the cord.

December 19, 2015 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Spitting Contest Between Dolphin and Man

Nobody Gets Email

I am definitely putting this on my bucket list!

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Kim Komando)

December 5, 2015 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: What’s in YOUR Water?

Nobody Gets…Email advice:

I might start drinking wine……(Thanks to J.R.) confushed baby

A glass of wine   
To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine   and those who don’t and are always   
seen with a bottle of water in their hand:
As a wise man once said:   
“In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria”.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,   
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink   
1 litre of water each day,   
at the end of the year we would have absorbed   
more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria 
found in feces.   
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop annually.
However,   
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer  
(or rum, whiskey or other liquor)
because alcohol has to go through a purification process   
of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
Remember: 
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health   
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of Shit   .
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:   
I’m doing it as a public service

November 21, 2015 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Jesse….Come Home…to My House.

Nobody Gets Email:

Finally. An American willing to do an illegal immigrants job, and even do it better! There’s the answer for the rich…train dogs to clean their houses. Stop the invasion!

Enjoy Jesse. I’ve fallen in love with him.

(Thanks to J.R.)

 

 

November 20, 2015 Posted by | humor | | 1 Comment

Nobody Gets Email: Is this Real?

Nobody’s Email:

I can’t tell, is this REALLY a special effect at a restaurant, or just clever video?

Anybody? Hey, I’d like to eat there, at least once.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to JR)

November 14, 2015 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 1 Comment

Nobody’s Email: Just Funny

Nobody Gets EmailIdoit friends

This just made me laugh. It’s that simple. And it’s from my liberal friend, which makes it even funnier.
(Warming: may be offensive to half the country, but it’s late, I’m tired,  and I STILL think its funny.)
(Thanks to JR)
***************
Did you know “listen” and “silent” use the same letters?
 
Do you know that the words “race car” spelled backwards still spells “race car”?
 
And that “eat” is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense “ate”?

And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in “illegal immigrants,” and add just a few more letters, it spells: “Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking assholes and take all those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-screwing, raggedy-ass shithead, ignorant Muslims with you.”

How weird is that?

November 6, 2015 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 102 other followers

%d bloggers like this: