HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO EVERY ONE OF YOU GREAT DADS!
Nobody Wins: Here we have two nobody inventor winners! Don’t want Obama following you to your girlfriend’s house? Block that signal.
Okay, so I see a few bugs here. What happens when you have to make a call? It looks like you would have to take it out of the ‘pocket’ and then BAM. They’ve got cha.
Or maybe you can put your off pocket hoodie on while you’re making your call….or better yet— Get them to stop spying on you. (Laugh here)
Wait…then the call signal won’t go out.
Anyway, the good news here is, nobody likes to be snooped on, and these two nobodies are trying to do something about it. Good for them!
Nobody Wins: Another big win this week was Ann Coulter’s last column, where she compares Saddam Hussein’s crimes to Assad. When Ann is hot, she is sizzling. Read that here.
Nobody Wins: It was a big loss today when John Kerry kept insisting to Rand Paul that bombing Syria, would not, and should not be considered taking us to war. It’s just an ‘action’ to make Assad stop using chemical weapons. It’s one thing to change the meaning of what the word ‘is’ —but, it’s quite another when your Secretary of State changes the meaning of dropping bombs on a country from a declaration of war, to some sort of friendly warning letter.
Nobody Wins: Another loss went to Miley Cyrus, who bragged about how successful her sex dance was on MTV, because she is reeling in the MONEY! Nobody suggests she get her ears fixed.
Nobody Wins: And on a lighter note, at the zoo today, we were walking around the corner, and we kept hearing loud rhythmic GRUNTS. We came around the corner—-and low and behold…somebody got lucky! (Yes, I HAD to take a picture, wouldn’t you?) If you’ve never seen a Galapagos Turtle having sex, you might want to put that on your bucket list of “uh?” I’m so sorry I did not have my movie camera. His grunts were just great.
What I did notice was that SHE was eating an apple during the whole thing. Which gave me a few ideas……
I have never seen one episode of Two and a Half Men. I once watched about three minutes of it, and Charlie Sheen said something very stupid, and that was about all I needed. Now— the young man who played the kid, Angus Jones, has grown up to become a Seventh Day Adventist, and is advising everyone not to watch it, because, it is crap.
So, why is EVERYONE attacking him now? He was making money off of crap.
How many people in Hollywood are making money off of crap? In that vein, how many ‘people’ in the world are making money off of selling crap? What did Jesus say? If you are guiltless…then who among you can cast the first stone?
Prostitutes of capitalism confess. You made money off of selling us Pamela Anderson running on the beach in a red bathing suit. You made money off of cotton candy. Let’s not forget the millions of people who bought cigarettes and died of cancer. I could argue my public education was so crappy, I to this day, have trouble with spelling. Crap. Crap. It’s everywhere.
But we are free to pick and choose…are we not? So far. They haven’t chipped Two and a Half Men to be downloaded into our brains…yet.
Frankly, Nobody Thinks if some of our politicians would come to a camera and say, “Hey, all these people up here are liars and they are ruining your life”…even though he was making millions, it would be a start. This Nobody would consider his worthiness for another term.
Good for Angus. Stating the obvious. Not too many do.
Nobody Get Email
Here in Missouri, the cops like to get their man–especially if he is lying paralysed flat on his face, down next to the highway, and can’t move.
They HAD to keep this young boy from–I guess, rolling onto the highway, (Yes, that’s what they said. Most people would have called an ambulance) or maybe getting their doughnuts out of their hands…so they did what any cop would do…they tasered him 19 times!
It seems, six or seven was not enough.
While Nobody is quite sure how a young boy of sixteen, ended up ‘falling’ from a concrete overpass…while stone sober, but needless to say: IF you are going to commit suicide in Missouri, be sure you do it somewhere where the local cops can’t come and taser you, because you’re still alive. This kid is not talking, and I don’t blame him. I’d take the secret to my grave.
Really. I’m not leaving my house.
This must be the new Obama plan for keeping our cops safe, from dangerous paralyzed comatose citizens.
Taser till you see the whites of their eyes.
(Thanks to amfortas who gets an Nobody’s Award for Keeping me informed about stuff happening in my own state.)
Good Morning! I just opened this and wanted to share it.
Here’s a delightful way to start your day…I’m going to forget about Obama, and Iran, and the economy and appreciate…the world…and surprise you all! Joyanna? Are you feeling okay? Oh,my…just look at this beauty! Yes, I’m fine.
(Thanks to Pattie!)
What is it about birds and why do I love them so much? They eat, they fly around, they chatter, they sing….they sleep. They stretch their wings when you go over to their cage to say hello to you. I don’t know how many times I have reported on this blog about one of my parakeets dying…I told my self I was NOT going to do it again. But, something inside on me wants to report to the rest of the world, that on this vast earth, with millions of people dying…soldiers, parents, children, lovers that– yes, even a somewhat insignificant tiny little bird can bring immense joy to your life, and emptiness when they leave it.
You have no idea.
I’ve had parakeets since I was about nine. I have three now, and I keep my parakeets in my little kitchen. They are the first things I greet in the morning, and when I take off their cover, they sing me hello, and they sing hello to the sunshine that flows from the window right next to the cage. It’s as it to tell me..”Life is good! Life is good! Wake up! You are alive! We are alive!” At least that’s how I interpret it.
A bird sings because it must. I write about it because I must. What are you going to do?
What kind of woman does that make me? I’m not running around with a briefcase off to some lawyer’s meetings. I’m not a doctor who begins each day typing in some computer. No, I start my day with taking care of my ‘buddies” as if they are just as important as an upcoming thesis on nano-technology.
And Mango died tonight.
Mango was an off green yellow, and the bully of the cage. He was the top banana. I was forever going over to the cage when he was chasing some of the other birds around and saying, “Stop that Mango!” But when I caught pneumonia this spring, he seemed to catch it too. Then one day, he woke up lame in one foot. The vet said…Oh don’t worry about it, he’ll get that foot back. But, the foot went dead…and it was amazing to see how this one little guy kept up his daily routing of preening his feathers. He could barely hold onto the stem, he kept losing balance, and falling down, and it was hell for him to climb back up into his perch with only one working foot, but he managed it, for a whole month. To see the courage and determination of such a small task was just as inspiring as seeing a cancer patient going through chemotherapy.
I know, you think there’s no comparison. But you have to look at it from the “bird’s” point of view.
When Mango couldn’t do it any longer. Mango went to the floor. And when the bird goes to the floor, he goes to die.
But he didn’t die. He held on for weeks…until tonight.
Have you ever watched a bird die in your hands? I took Mango outside and showed him the sky, the trees, what he has been missing. Maybe it’s cruel, but really..birds are not meant to be pets to humans now are they? His little eyes got so big…at the sight of a leaf.
I know, you think, come on Joyanna, you’re putting thoughts into that bird’s head that aren’t there. Am I? Does a bird recognize a leaf from just the millions of years of evolution, even if they have never seen one? Was he thinking, “OMG! What have I been missing!” Or…”Is this heaven?” Okay, now I really am putting words in a bird’s mouth, but hey…
Just seconds before he passed, his heart was beating so loud in my palm it was as if both our heartbeats become one–and I tried really hard with this bird to say I was NOT going to cry. But by the last heartbeat, and the shiver of the tiny body, and the flicker of a silver wing, and the closing of his eyes. …I was crying.
In reality, I was maybe scaring him to death.(LOL)
You know, I have been called “too sensitive” all my life. I’m too sensitive to the heartbeat of a bird. I’m too sensitive to the expression in a man’s eyes. I’m too sensitive for whatever. A man finds my ridiculous tears over a silly bird absurd…and the quintessence of…estrogen. And he would be …right. But, that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of rational thought. There IS reason in my madness.
The reason I cling to my animals are because they never disappoint me. They show me daily, and with the poignant innocence that we have all lost, God’s beauty in the face of a crazy political world of insanity. They are the oasis in the storm. Sometimes they are the only sanity one can find. To me, my birds are tiny angels…here to bring me light in darkness. To sing life. To make me SEE life..beyond the toaster, the computer, the car, the concrete.
I once read an article in Psychology Today that said that some people really ARE to sensitive. Their amygdalas were bigger than other people. Like a physical handicap.
And so my amygdala is making me celebrate the life of a bird. The life of a tree. The life of a soldier, the life of a lover, a friend.
To me, each one is equally precious in God’s eyes and the broken wing of my amygdala.
Mango—-We were only waiting for this moment to arrive–fly….
This song is the perfect Mother’s Day song. It’s has the same lessons that my mother passed onto me, and the lessons I passed on to my son, and just about what every mother wants to tell her children.
Pamper your mothers today. Tell them how much they mean to you.
I’ll be taken a few days off….vacation time! But, I won’t be gone long!
So Enjoy the Day, and all God’s blessings.
I hope everyone’s dance…is a good one!
Many of you may have noticed that a few posts ago, the headline said:
LOL! Okay, I really feel bad about this, but it’s time to fess up. I suffer from visual dyslexia, so I feel I owe my readers a…warning, one that I hope you’ll help me out with.
Most of the time spell check catches my mistakes, but, while I’m reading over what I’ve written, right after I’ve written it, if I come to a word that I’ve misspelled, my brain doesn’t catch it right away. That’s why when I looked at Reprots…it looked right to me. I KNOW how to spell it of course, but my “eyes” don’t—even when I look at it a second or third time. It’s hard for people to believe, (unless you have dyslexia too) that I don’t catch the mistake. My brain has actually already registered it as okay.
So I told myself…good god woman, go look it up. So, I Googled it.
GOOD news: Lots of people suffered from dyslexia! Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Michael Faradey, Alexander Graham Bell, Leonardo da Vinci, Ansel Adams, Tommy Hilfinger, Henry Ford, William Hewlett, Charles Schwab, Ted Turner, Frank W. Woolworth, Henry Winkler, Orlando Bloom, Tom Cruise, Whoopi Goldberg, Keanu Reeves, Auguste Rodin, Pablo Picasso, George Patton, Stonewall Jackson, Cher, and John Lennon. They all suffered from ti.
(I purposely Left “ti” in — so that you can see how easy it is for me..ti..should be it. Sometimes I catch myself, sometimes I don’t.
Now…if you, my dear readers catch me misspelling words or spelling words backwards, feel free to point it out to me…I would be grateful and ever so thankful, because the more I become aware of it, hopefully the better I will be at ‘taming’ my brain into thinking that what it thinks it’s ‘seeing’ is not real.
Don’t worry about making me feel bad…you know…and I know.. that Nobody’s Perfect!
Right? Right. Besides, I can tell myself every time I screw up…that even Einstein couldn’t get all the words right. (not that he HAD to) And I also think that Picasso drew that picture of me at the top. That’s really me. That’s exactly the look on my face when I am trying to figure out if I misspelled the word:..eyb. (bye)
For more of the list of people who have dyslexia, go Here
Davy Jones of the Monkees died today. Somewhere in my basement I have a few of their albums. Really…I always felt sorry for these guys, because even though the songs they put out were always kinda …bubble gum teenage marshmallow kinds of stuff..they were at least fun and singalongable. Those guys were relentlessly attacked by just about everybody. And they remained pretty nice guys through it all.
I’m only posting this because I wanted to show everyone…see that drum set in the video? That’s a silver- sparkle Ludwig. (I know..JOYANNA…NOBODY CARES!) That was my first drum set and I still have it, and I got mine long before the Micky. Here I am in my first band playing in the BLUE BULL LOUNGE in Kansas City. I won’t tell you how long ago this was taken, but let’s just say, if you’re a musician, you can just look at the speakers and guess.
I’ve been offered a lot of money for that set. I bought mine at the very famous Frank’s Drum Shop in Chicago…and I was told that Louie Bellson used to give lessons on it when he worked at Frank’s.
Also notice that Peter Tork, the keyboard player…is not doing what he should be doing in this video..where he plays his solo and it’s just funny! Micky Dolenz is barely hitting the drums. Of course they were lip synching– but it’s just really nutty that they left it in.
I always thought as people, these guys were very polite, and nobody liked hearing the news today that Davy Jones died…Nobody really Cares…but really, at 66— he was much too young.
I might just go sneak a look at my old albums…and put a few on..and yes, I still have my old record players. ARE you kidding?
(FYI..that was a poloroid…another clue)
OMG…I’m on information overload. Hopefully you won’t care if I dump this stuff right here, in no particular order:
1. Obama just made a speech and blamed the bankers for loaning money to people who couldn’t possibly find the money to pay for a house. All those poor Mexicans who couldn’t speak English, and those poor black people who can’t read…were ROBBED! He wants to help them.
What he didn’t say was that it was Janet Reno who threatened jail time and fines if the banks didn’t go out and do this. Obama is really good at lying. And making more promises for free stuff.
2. Michelle Obama is on the campaign trail. She was on Leno, and Rachel Ray, sounding so sweet about how much she loves “serving” the people and helping them get healthy.
Pass the salt, I’m throwing it over my shoulder.
3. McCain’s daughter “Rebecca of Sunny Brook Farm” NBC pundit, CANDY McCAIN (I call her Candy because she has a head of cotton) called Newt “selfish.” I can’t wait to hear what she says about Rick Santorum. He will be, “religious.” Candy needs to work on her vocabulary.
4. Carl Rove was so ecstatic that Mitt’s great piggy bank of wealth is going to beat everyone out of the elections, he practically dropped his little chalk board: an idea he stole from Glenn Beck, but when Karl writes on his little chalkboard, he looks like a father trying to tell his 2-year old he really knows what he is talking about: one plus one is five.
5. Muhammad, was really just another big thug in history. In the raid at Khaybar, (an oasis in the desert inhabited by Jews) he went in and slaughtered the Jewish warriors (took the women and children) and took the gold and silver. He always looted everything he attacked. He was big on torture, like lighting fires on chests. (I’m trying to vision this one, but what…did they use wood? Chest hair? ) The more I read about the guy, the more of just another evil ruler thug he becomes. He made up his own importance by saying “Oh..Allah talks to me! I am your chosen one…so says Gabriel!”
6. Politicians all break promises, but they say them to get elected. Daddy Bush’s famous “read my lips, no new taxes” (okay, that was after he was President) was followed up by what his son, George W. said while he was running for President
“I don’t think our troops ought to be used for what’s called nation building. I mean, we’re going to have a kind of nation building crops from America? Absolutely not.” Remember that while listening to Mitt.
7. Beethoven music teacher called him hopeless as a composer. Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was too stupid to learn anything. Henry Ford went broke five times before he succeeded. If you go by this record, there IS still hope for many of us.
8. The President can now execute without a trial anyone he considers a terrorist. Uh…so what is Obama’s definition of a “terrorist”? He won’t even release his college records, how are we going to find this out?
9. Some people TRAIN their dogs, other, like me, like to have them be their own natural selves, and yet, I’m not sure what this means. Does this mean that the people who train their dogs are actually smarter? Do the people who don’t teach tricks to their dogs have a harder time? (yes, yes) And is it because they are lazy because it takes a LOT of time to train a dog? What is the purpose of tricks? Does the dog really like to do the trick, as well as getting the treat? And if your too lazy to train your dogs to do tricks does that mean you just like the entertainment of the simple enjoyment of letting them be dogs? Isn’t that the same as teaching a dog to “sit up” just simple entertainment? I’m working on this one. The psychological meaning of why some people work hours to train their dog….to obey…or not.
10. All day long I’m taking in political information: I listen to the radios, watch the channels, read the latest books, think, rethink, debate myself on all the different views, and years ago I came to the conclusions that Mitt Romney was going to be the next pick by the Republicans for Presidents on the most absurd and unscientific reasoning of all. Body language.
(Although some, like Bill O’Reilly swear that it’s a science, and true.)
I remember the exact moment in time and the a look on his face. He was standing in the background waiting for the announcement of the nomination for President, in 2008, and McCain won. I will NEVER forget his look. It was “But they promised me! What?”
Now, I’m only human. I was as surprised about his look because it seemed obvious to everyone (but Mitt) that McCain was going to be the pick. And yet…he was shocked.
Many times I have suspected, after reading, and listening, and thinking, and reading more, that there really is a power class that can decide on who THEY want to be president, and make it happen. Many of these “candidates” go to China, secret meetings,(Bilderberg) as if they are being vetted, not by the American people, but by some secret global oligarchy. The secret oligarchy in the EU is now, not so secret, they are grabbing whole countries to take over. Obama just gave another trillion to help the EU.
The system is rigged. But, they must keep up the illusions: so we have the American “YOU pick the candidate..YOU!YOU! YOU!” contests and …surprise! The people always lose.
11. Having said that, I’m waiting for the robot to be invented that can go grocery shopping for me. I refuse to pay $40 dollars for a turkey, but I keep hoping…by the time they go on sale, the turkey I get will give me food poisoning.
I’ve had it before…and survived. I’m ready. Are you?
Thanks…I needed to unload.
Nobody Flashes Fred Astaire
Nobody was watching this movie today, and this dance with Fred and Ginger left me breathless. Fred was a genius when it came to innovating. That kind of grace you will NEVER see on Dancing With the Stars.
If you do, call me. Fred and Ginger had what you call: grace. And they danced with “feeling” and that’s what made them artists. You just don’t see that anymore anywhere.
The first video is the modern version done by Robert Palmer…and the bass is killer. He did a great job updating it, and adding the dance scences…but…
Here’s the original: It literally broke my heart: the beauty of this timeless piece of art: the way he is going to kill himself, and she is going to kill herself, and then…well, you have to be a hopeless romantic to miss the days of long ago when women dressed and men dressed and they…held each other close and danced. It fit perfect with much that is going on. Life is tough: Let’s face the music and dance.
Tonight I was in the arms of Fred Astaire….you can be in the arms of Ginger. It only takes a little imagination: Enjoy.
Not too long ago, Obama reversed a law saying that you could not sell horses for food here in the United States. I was so angry…that I wrote about it here. Horses are noble creatures. They have carried men through battle, plowed his fields, gave him pleasure….forever it seems.
And so, when I saw this film, I was more than relieved…that Steven Spielberg has come out with a true story about the nobleness of the horse. Not only is this film filled with beautiful cinematography, it’s a masterpiece of storytelling.
The movie is about a Scottish farmer who buys a horse that is useless to him, but his son and the horse bond for life. When the first World War comes, the father sells the horse to keep his farm. The boy, later joins up and goes to France, to look for the horse, and you know that in the end…they find each other in No Man’s Land, by some great synchronicity in life, which often really happens.
Towards the end of the movie, the horse finally gets free of his German Masters (How he got into the German Hands I won’t say, you’ll have to find out.) and runs through the barbed wire of No Man’s Land where he gets stuck, and a German AND an Englishman go out and both work together to free Joey. The scene is Speilburg’s way of telling us all: men can be good—war is bad.
To Spielberg’s credit, it’s not a political film. It makes no judgement, but shows the true goodness of horse and men. It also shows the immense cruelty and horror of war, without showing any blood.
This movie will make you cry….and it will make you understand the horse…by seeing the world through the eyes of Joey.
Spielberg has made the most amazing film: Jaws, Encounters of the Third Kind, Saving Private Ryan, Schindler’s’ List, Amistad, Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, ET…and now this. Unlike James Cameron, who used his movie Avatar to climb into the liberal global warming bandwagon…Speilburg doesn’t do that in movies. He never takes political sides.
And yet, he, and all his Hollywood friends fill the campaign coffers of Obama: A man who sides against the Jews. A man who just put horse meat on the menu: A man who put human beings into the grave if they are over 70, and go to the hospital. In Obamacare, they will be called ‘Units” and denied lifesaving care.
It’s true. They will not only shoot horses, but in Obamacare..anyone over 70. Just not with a bullet. (Unless of course, you are in Congress.)
As a filmmaker..Speilburg will remain a master of masters. But Nobody Wonders…how can he be so moral, tell such patriotic stories, put his considerable time and talent into making films about the honest, the noble, the good, and the evil of mankind, and then give millions to the very people who will promote exactly the opposite of every story of nobleness he has every told?
Any man who can say horses are food, and old people are no longer given a right to live, is evil.
How? And why?
Does our government actually OWN the great directors? Do the rich of Hollywood give money to protect their right to make what they want? Is that why?
Steven may not be perfect…because he gives such vast amounts of his money to Obama, who is the antitheses to all he shows us in his movies: but War Horse is a movie that can be watched forever more. It’s a perfect film. And I hope everyone in the world see it, and fights to save the noble horse from becoming simply meat for China. We need more horses on the planet, not less.
Go see it…and take your children. Better have some tissue.
My mother singing this song…it was one of her favorites, and I can’t remember how many times I spent my life, in contemplation, feeling lonely and sorry about some one I had lost, or sometimes loved and never even knew…or someone I missed while listening to this song..in the dark…in the quiet, staring at a candle. Playing it over and over.
As a singer I tried my best to imitate this woman, but always had trouble. Barbra Streisand was much easier to do, believe it or not. Linda lost most of her rock fans when she did her LUSH LIFE albums and that’s a shame. She sang these old songs with the best of them.
Anyway, –moody tonight..with memories. Nobody’s Perfect.
THE TURKEY: Right before the Thanksgiving holidays, Pamela Geller, who by all accounts is in most respects a sensible woman, warned the alarm that every American that eats a Butterball Turkey is in…danger. Unbeknownst to us, only the Butterball Turkeys are being “blessed” for their journey to be with 72 turkey virgins in heaven:
Halal slaughter involves cutting the trachea, the esophagus, and the jugular vein, and letting the blood drain out while saying “Bismillah allahu akbar” — in the name of Allah the greatest.
You can imagine the despair! Butterball turkeys have been served in my family since they started MAKING Butterball Turkeys. And the reason why we have preferred Butterball Turkeys to any other Turkey is because, all you have to do is put it in a pan, salt it, cook it, baste it, and VIOLA! Soft, tender, moist…and any fool can do it.
Also, the woman in my family are from a long line of..of…let’s just say we all cooked pretty much like Curly. So the less thinking involved in preparing the meal, the better. We’d spend hours arguing how exactly to boil water.
Okay, I’m confused. You have to kill the turkey to eat right? So, for that part, I think Pamela should either take it up with PETA (who are already on this) or try to turn us all into vegetarians because, you have to kill to eat any meat.
Unless of course, you like to hang out around the highway.
It’s the “blessing” Allahu Akbar that has her upset. And I agree. If you are going to include Muslim prayers then by golly, they should include Christian prayers, Hindu Prayers, Wicken prayers, and throw in some voodoo on top of it. After all, this is all about diversity is it not? Think of that poor turkey being condemned to abide in some Muslim hellhole with other jihadists who do nothing but continue the Bismillah blessing on his esophagus throughout centuries of purgatory! A Christian Turkey heaven would have him walking with peacocks, and in a Hindu heaven he could reincarnate into a politician…maybe even President! We’ve all seen it happen before.
I see her point. But last week didn’t stop with the bad news…no…we had bad —
ABC News reported that Consumer Reports tested 88 samples of popular brands of grape and apple juice sold in the U.S., including Welch’s, Minute Maid and Mott’s. The results revealed that 10 percent of the juices “had total arsenic levels greater than the FDA’s standard for drinking water of 10 parts per billion (ppb), while 25 percent of juices also had lead levels higher than the FDA’s bottled water limit of 5 ppb.” To our detriment, the FDA has limits for arsenic in water (including bottled), but no such regulations on fruit juices. Oz reported that apple concentrate comes from up to seven countries – 60 percent of it imported from China alone. –Chuck Norris
It’s really an imperfect world. It’s bad enough that they put fluoride in our water, and NOW we find out, since that doesn’t seem to be doing enough damage, they are putting arsenic in our apple juice, without the pretty lace.
Yes, our children are being poisoned by China, with the help of our FDA..who..say…they MIGHT look into it. I’d say that arsenic in our food, and mercury in our light bulbs..means SOME PEOPLE are trying to get kill US..forget the turkeys. They will eventually outlive us. We’ll all be dead.
They want to get rid of us..slowly. I mean…really…is this what they mean when they say we will all have to sacrifice?
Nobody is boycotting apple juice because I drank gallons of it last year, due to the fact that I had gall bladder surgery. Oh yes. When you have a rotten gall bladder they tell you to drink tons and tons and tons of apple juice….so I did.
And now, I find out why it works! It’s pretty much melts your insides. Maybe I should have made a cocktail of apple juice, coke and a menthol, and saved myself from an expensive surgery.
I did NOT buy a Butterball Turkey this year, but not because somebody stupid is making employees bless them with nonsense, but because—THEY ARE TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE!
So, who won the Nobody’s Perfect award for this week?
My favorite stooge…Curly, because that man cannot cook…I thought I was bad. I at least know enough to open the can before inserting it.