This week, we have real contest going—Obamacare VS Free Vibrators. Which would YOU rather have?
Obama had three years to get his website for Obamacare up and running, but on the day of its debut last week, not only was the government shut down, it seems the whole computer Obamacare program, was just…not working. Obama knew that was going to happen because he said this WEEKS before:
“I guarantee you, the opponents of the law, they’ll have their cameras ready to document anything that doesn’t go completely right, and they’ll send it to the news folks and they’ll say, ‘Look at this, this thing is not working,'” Obama said Thursday.
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha! For once, Obama was right! It was all over the news. Not only was it not working, more people attended the presentation on “Orchestrating Orgasms” at the University of New Hampshire (Over 500 people showed up.) than actually got through on the Obamacare website. And that’s including all of Obama’s 57 states!
There are going to be some glitches as this thing unfolds,” Obama said. “Somewhere around the country, there’s going to be a computer glitch and the website’s not working quite the way it’s supposed to, or something happens where there’s some error made somewhere.”
And then there’s Tom Nardone…
Tom decided to get in on the action, and from the goodness of his own heart, decided to give away free vibratos to Detroit!
Tom Nardone of Birmingham, the founder of the Detroit Mower Gang, a prolific pumpkin carver, bulletproof vest manufacturer, a married father of three and the creator of a successful Troy-based sex toy business named PriveCo, has harnessed the federal government shutdown to bolster name recognition for his company’s website, vibrators.com. For as long as the government is closed, his company is offering 200 free vibrators per day to furloughed government employees. “Are you a federal employee that has been deemed non-essential?” the Vibrators.com website asks. “Do you have a little too much time on your hands and nothing to do? Is the recent government shutdown to blame?
That’s 30 more people than who actually signed up for Obamacare on the first day.
So who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award of the week?
Obama of course. By not having the websites ready for primetime, he missed all those unemployed workers out there in America, who were attending classes on sex and using their free vibrators. Most of them hung up after the first three minutes.
Nobody Thinks that Obamacare will still be having problems in 2031, while Mr. Nordone will no likely become more popular than Obama….and on his way to buying the whole city of Detroit.
Yes…the lesson here is capitalism beats socialism every single time.
Congratulations “President Obama”!
Obama promised, he would NOT let Detroit go bankrupt.
But today, it happened. The black President had no stimulus to bring back the pensions, the police, the lights, the sanity, OR the jobs. Can we say it’s because he’s a racist? He prefers the rich because he bailed out Wall Street? After all, Detroit ‘s population is 82% black, and Obama hasn’t done a thing for them.
It’s not too hard to figure out. That’s what happens when democrats run the show.
The Detroit metropolitan region currently holds roughly one-half of the state’s population.[ In 1903 Ford founded the Ford Motor Company. Ford’s manufacturing—and those of automotive pioneers William C. Durant, the Dodge brothers, Packard, and Walter Chrysler—reinforced Detroit’s status as the world’s automotive capital; it also served to encourage truck manufacturers such as Rapid and Grabowsky.
With the factories came high-profile labor unions such as the American Federation of Labor & the United Auto Workers which initiated strikes & other tactics in support of such things as the 8-hour day/40-hour work week, healthcare benefits, pensions, increased wages & improved working conditions. The labor activism during those years increased influence of union leaders in the city such as Jimmy Hoffa of the Teamsters and Walter Reuther of the autoworkers.
More than half of the owners of Detroit’s 305,000 properties failed to pay their 2011 tax bills, exacerbating the city’s financial crisis. According to the Detroit News, 47 percent of the city’s taxable parcels are delinquent on their 2011 tax bills, resulting in about $246 million in taxes and fees going uncollected, nearly half of which was due to Detroit. The rest of the money would have been earmarked for Wayne County, Detroit Public Schools, and the library system. The review also found 77 blocks in Detroit had only one owner who paid taxes in 2011.
The resulting elevated unemployment was compounded by white flight and middle-class flight to the suburbs (and in some cases to other states), and the city was left with a reduced tax base, depressed property values, abandoned buildings, abandoned neighborhoods, high crime rates, and a pronounced demographic imbalance. This crisis almost resulted in the state of Michigan taking over administrative control of the city. The state governor declared a financial emergency in March 2013, appointing an emergency manager. On July 18, 2013, Detroit filed for bankruptcy, which will have to be approved by a Judge.
So, Nobody Wonders if the Blacks will EVER understand that the welfare “plantation” is not going to last forever and ever.
In the meantime, we all wonder…what city is next? Or…should I say, what country?
After I watched this video I keep thinking of that dog commercial–BACON! BACON! Bacon Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacoon BAAAAACON!!!
Here you have pure 100% pudding proof, that the blacks are reminding Obama that their vote wasn’t free. No sirree. They EXPECT to get raises on their big government salaries, and keep their big government pensions, and Jimmy Carter did it, and well…as JoAnn Watson would put it. “Show me the BACON! “
Personally, I think she could lay off the bacon a bit. If she gets any more bacon she won’t be able to fit into her Mercedes. (Or be able to find her Obama cell phone either.)
JoAnn has actually done us a big favor.
“Our people in an overwhelming way supported the re-election of this president and there ought to be a quid pro quo and you ought to exercise leadership on that,” said Watson. “Of course, not just that, but why not?”
JoAnn has proven that the ‘quid pro quo” is the way the game is played in Washington. JoAnn expects the corrupt politicians in Detroit to be bailed out. And as a reminder to everyone that they have a right to expect that, they tell you Gerald Ford bailed out New York.
So, what’s Obama going to do? He promised the Sandy victims he would save them all, and now….Detroit wants a cut? Where’s the money for this coming from?
JoAnn doesn’t care: She wants her bacon.
And then you have Timmie Geithner, who, on the same day, is warning everyone that if Obama doesn’t get his money from the “rich’ he is going to let us all, basically starve.
When asked if the administration was ready to go over the cliff if Republicans continue to oppose White House plans to hike taxes on the richest 2 percent of Americans, Geithner was quick to respond.”Absolutely,” he told the network.”What we’re trying to do is put in place a comprehensive, balanced set of fiscal reforms that put us back on the path of living within our means,” Geithner said.
Nobody Wins when our Secretary of the Treasury has no clue that the few measly billions he is going to get from taxing the rich will only last a few weeks, and he thinks THAT will put Obama, and his many minions of government worshipers back on the path to living within their means.
Okay everyone…repeat after me: BACON BACON BACON bacon bacon bacon…we want our BACON TIMMIE!
Nobody Thinks the half of America that is giving bacon to JoAnn should reply, “We’d like to keep our bacon JoAnn. How about you go on Michelle’s veggie diet, and plant yourself some radishes?
After all…you voted for Michelle too, and in her world, you need to eat your veggies and get off the bacon.
It’s the Muslim way, and they don’t like pigs with lipstick either.
And speaking of that…is that lipstick Timmie’s wearing?
This week, we have two mid-western cities to compete against each other for the Nobody’s Perfect award of the week: The City of Detroit VS the City of St. Louis. Or the City of Cars VS the City of Beer, which nether city manufactures anymore. (Internationally owned beer companies do NOT count.)
As reported on the Drudge report, Detroit can barely keep it’s city lights on. The once thriving automobile manufacturing center of the United States is so bankrupt, it not only cannot keep it lights on, it can’t fix the broken ones. By some estimates over 50 percent of the city’s lights have been broken, or pillaged for their metal. Added on to this lovely heaven of darkness given to the hard-core criminals, you have an unemployment record so egregious that if Jimmy Hoffa knew, he would come out of his cement grave to throw hit men as big as Jubba the Hut at the CEO’s fat heads. Henry Ford would crawl out of his Model T and get his friend Thomas Edison to shut down the whole city, and move everyone to Ft. Myers, Florida and start over.
Too bad we can’t resurrect them. (When are they going to get on that cloning?)
From the Detroit News:
Like many swaths of the city, the historic Indian Village neighborhood has remained largely dark at night after vandals destroyed transformers in nearly every streetlight pole that powers them. On a recent rainy day, Wicks, 64, a retired GM engineer who has lived in Detroit for decades, watched as city Public Lighting workers put new transformers at the top of the aging wooden poles. Just days later, those streetlights were out — again.
BUT…crime is down in Detroit. No longer do the locals run out on Halloween and set fire to buildings. They now have better things to do, like play video games on their giant HD TV that they got because Obama gave them all money. Detroit was once the most dangerous city in the United States, but no more…that fine badge of honor has now been passed to the city of St. Louis.
Yes, St. Louis is considered the most dangerous city in the United State and I can tell you for a fact, that if you are looking for drugs and are stupid enough to go downtown at night, it won’t matter how many lights are on, you will be shot. They will even smile up at the many camera’s and wave while they’re shooting you. Our city is proud to have great lights, it’s North County St. Louis, where I now reside, that is losing its lights because that’s where all the people from the City moved to.
Are you kidding? The only thing downtown is the arch, the baseball stadium, and when the moon is right…drunks looking to get over to Illinois.(They can only see by moonlight,)
All the blacks from the city moved to North County, (and the whites moved out) and it’s here that we have a problem that hasn’t seem to hit Detroit…wild packs of dogs—who will not only will rip your throat out, you will become a bucket of KFC for the whole family. Cousins of Michael Vicks’ family must live here, because most of these dogs are BIG dogs. And therefore the kids can’t walk to school or home without carrying some kind of golf club or rocket launcher.
A young boy was attacked and nearly eaten alive by wild dogs in North St. Louis. City leaders are scrambling to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Aldermanic President Lewis Reed is sounding the alarm. “I’ve witnessed packs of dogs, 10 and 15 dogs running together, and I’ve seen all these dogs I’m talking about they don’t have collars, they don’t have tags, these are truly wild dogs.” he said.
Nobody Knows that it’s a hard decision: Which town is more…worthy of its declining reputation? On the one hand, Detroit’s darkness leads to a safe haven for anyone who wants to steal more metal from light poles…and whatever else they can find.
On the other hand, St. Louis has monster dogs, that can attack you anytime of the day or night. Some might say you are safer inside your house with these attack dogs prowling your neighborhood, but then again..wasp spray is pretty cheap.
Nobody suggests a solution to the lights and the dogs.
Detroit just gave a jobs fair for all the ex- cons who were looking for work. In fact, prisons all over the United States are letting out their population because feeding someone three great meals a day, with cable, phone, and a master’s degree is money better spent overseas giving children time in Afghanistan schools in which to study Islam. We just sent 46 million to Uganda…come on! And that was last year!
Africa needs the money more than the people in Detroit. You know that.
The cops can’t be everywhere.
As a bonus..Muslims HATE dogs, and who needs lights when you have a growling barking dog?
With the money you’d save…you’d have the lights back on in no time. OR..you’d have ex-cons taking over both cities with their trained dog packs. At that point the company CEO would start sending the dogs overseas and the ex-cons would be out of a job again.
Okay Joyanna…what’s plan B?
I’m working on it.
So who won the contest?
St. Louis, because the Cardinals made the World Series and the Tigers didn’t, which was a very good thing because they do NOT HAVE ANY LIGHTS. They had to lose.
(And because Nobody lives here.)
There’s always next year, Detroit…but… don’t get your hopes up.