Nobody Gets Email
Evidently, Michelle Obama would rather wear a real hot sexul outfit to a Kids Choice Award, than anything that would give the kids the idea that she was actually a “MOM.” My self, I think if I were her— I would have had second thoughts about the “skinny” jeans. That’s the biggest front zipper that I’ve ever seen! Or did she stable that together? Doesn’t the White House have Mirrors?
Do I sound catty? Well? Sure I do! Even in Las Vegas, that’s a bit…suggestive. But then again, all the Obama’s got left is “style.” The substance is just not there. And…where are the bangs?
And for the amount of money it costs for the taxpayers to send her there, they could have left open the White House for another four years.
So, the only answer to this problem, is to reopen the White House and put them up in a Holiday Inn. After all, it’s being remodeled anyway…how much is THAT costing?
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
A new standard in First Lady fashion.
$1,596,899.49 to attend a one day national event dressed like a hooker. Many thanks to the 51% that voted them back in!
I have NO idea way the mainstream media is not covering the latest line in Men’s fashion from Paris: Do you? No….each one of these fabulous outfits are screaming to be worn at the Presidential inauguration ball. Nobody Thinks Joe Biden would look especially dashing in the last picture.
Is it any wonder Obama gave himself secret service protection for life? I LOVE the tennis shoes on the first outfit..and the gloves…what’s is he expecting to pick up? An iceberg?
The kangaroo pockets on the second is rather clever but the pants look like something from my great great grandmothers bathing suit.
The “I am a Scottish Ken doll” could lose the earmuffs.
But the last one is PERFECT. You’d never catch the flu in that! Then again…you’d never see the punch coming towards your face either.
Men’s fashion: Not what it used to be.
Who would buy a purse that looks like a frog?
It’s been awhile since I reported on the latest “ugly purse” award, but leave it to the fashionably rich to think up these “beauties.”
The ad says it’s the crown that makes this frog purse (that holds maybe your lipstick and nail polish only) special. But some lady named Judith Leiber is selling them for $5, 995, which means over $6,000.
If it croaked when you opened it up, it might be worth it.
And pink. If there is anything I hate worse than pink slippers, it’s a pick purse. The very famous Louis Vuitton is making you WAIT…to grap this…very ordinary purse sold for $2,340.
You could find one that looks JUST like it at Wal-Mart for $25.00, and good luck finding a dress to match.
Nobody proclaims: There should be a law against ugly purses. Someday, you will see these on e-bay.
And for the right price, I would buy them both and use them to store old costume jewelry–in my closet.
Whoa, I’m posting very late today…and I was just talking to my friend Mona, and promised to show her a picture taken just this last summer…it’s Pattie! And ME! And I’m the one with the gun! (Which leads me to my next post about why Bob Costas is a ninny.)
The studio liked this picture so much, they hung it outside on their platform during the biggest festival of the year…even if they DID put it at the bottom, we felt like movie stars….
“LOOK, PATTIE! THERE WE ARE!”
“Yeah Joyanna, they put us at the bottom.”
“Hey, I’ll take it! You got the Whiskey but I’ve got the gun! Think they’d let us on Duck Dynasty?”
Come on…who hasn’t done this for a lark?
As the November deadline gets closer, the Obama voters are coming out in their finest clothes, to go that extra mile, to show us all that–only by voting for Obama, will we continue as a country to enjoy the many freedoms we have: like the freedom of tattooing your whole body , showing your underwear, wearing chains around your neck, getting fat, painting your face in rainbow colors, or dressing up like a lobster just because you feel like it.
Word has it, that Lady Gaga is being seriously considered for the job of Secretary of Defense. All fashionable attire will be allowed in Obama’s next cabinet. The only thing you will not be allowed to wear are the colors red, white and blue. Unless of course, it has Obama’s logo on it. The 9/11 Teeshirt will be sure to make a big hit with the state Department! Get yours today, in order to remember that no one should make a video about Obama…I mean…Islam. What a better way to remind us all how we are all just one bump-in-the road away from being at peace with all nations and religions, and black panthers.
Nobody also wants to note, that somebody is going to buy Ivanka Trump’s new deal, where she will give you this extremely ugly purse, and throw in a wallet to match, IF you stay in her Trump SoHo Hotel in New York City.
You know how I feel about ugly purses. I am on a mission to expose them all.
Nobody Thinks: This is good news. The meek SHALL inherit the earth if the rich keep trying to make money off of really ugly stuff. Have good heart all you liberals…Our time will come. Jesus was right.
Where in the world do you get this stuff? I used to have a flag bikini….
Anyway, I would wear the shorts, and the shoes, and the Got Mitt hat to the convention, and carry that adorable little pup on my hip…and throw red, right, and bluc popcorn, while singing “Hit the Road Jack”… BUT…
Nobody invited me!
Is it me? Or does Michelle just bring out her “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” dresses when Obama is campaigning to be President? She saves her $10,000 dollar getups to embarrass the royals.
Oh, but she does look lovely!
Just to show that I don’t think she is ‘pandering to those people clinging to their guns and religion”, I”ve posted a few more pictures of Michelle taken on the campaign trail. Michelle is smart enough to know the meaning of “fit in with the crowd” and we LOVE her for it! (Thanks to Tom Beebe)
I don’t want this to sound mean, but today Helen Gurly Brown died, and I’m happy to report, her dying has left me in such a happy mood. Don’t get me wrong. Sorry to her family, but the old gal lived a pretty good long life.(90) She basically was a regular…(in the words of maybe… Rush Limbaugh) ”slut.” and she promoted “slutness” to the highest degree.
Nobody would call her…ambitious, and she made it the old fashioned way: She slept her way to the top! Really…that’s what she says.
Who am I to judge? She had to have really great business sense to keep a magazine going for so many years. Helen made a magazine promoting all the ways you can have sex …the sort of modern day Sutra without the pictures. A great force for the condom industry and sex industry in general. Helen gets the Olympian gold medal for sexually arousing generations of young girls for men for decades! Anyway it gave me an excuse to go The Cosmopolitan website, and once again, have good laugh.
What’s Cosmopolitan? If you have no clue…then you are not from this planet, because Cosmopolitan has been the savior of every woman who has had to stand in a long line anywhere.
Having said that: I have NEVER seen a man pick one up.
And why not, you may ask? Because it’s all about how to please your man sexually, which is a contradiction in itself, because if you’re in a relationship and having a good time, I say, don’t fix what’s not broken, but that’s me.
Evidently too many women feel stupid about it.
“My own philosophy is if you’re not having sex, you’re finished. It separates the girls from the old people,” she told an interviewer.
The Browns were childless by choice, she said. You can’t be sexual at 60 if you’re fat,” she observed on her 60th birthday. She also championed cosmetic surgery, speaking easily of her own nose job, facelifts and silicone injections.
Because she died today, I went to Cosmopolitan site, and at the top was the headline:
I won’t go into it here, but basically she tells the girls it feels like a walnut. Nobody wants to know…By whose standards? I can’t stop laughing about this, so I’ll go onto her more mundane subject of:
GIRLS HABITS GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND:
1. Thank you cards to your girlfriends….Guys don’t do this. They are too busy watching football. Girls have to have something to do to pass the time and make sure that whoever gave them that Birthday gift gives them another one NEXT year, because who know if that guy will be there, after he finds out she is reading Cosmopolitan?
2. Flannel Pajamas…For all the fat that are on a woman’s body, she stills wears flannels. Guys mostly go nude. I want to know why men don’t wear flannel pajamas. I think they are pretty sexy on a man. Nobody ever asks that question.
3. Decor Pillows…I have to agree with the men on this. But women are nest builders, and the nest is the bed and the bed MUST have designer pillows. I have designer pillows, but they are in the chair. It’s a waste of time putting them on the bed, unless the Queen was coming to my house—THEN I would put them on the bed. Otherwise I really don’t care if they never go on the bed again. Someone should make scented pillows..it would help on those mornings when you roll over..and smell last night’s pizza.
4.Cluches: Right. I’m with the guys. Cute but…pointless. You can’t fit anything but a tampon in them, which is probably the point. Carrying a tampon around all night in your hand, would be…gross.
5. Wedge Heels. Now what’s wrong with wedge heels? YOU try walking on 6 inch stilettos! The wedges give you support, and trust me, most women in America need it. Picture Michelle Obama in high heels.
7. Massive Purses: If you read me you know, I have a thing about ugly purses. I’ve had the same “purse” for ten years, and it’s basically like a college backpack. BUT…a woman needs a massive purse. I will be ready when the Obama Gestapo comes to put me in detention. My purse, has…everything in it I DON’T need and that’s the way I like it. Besides, a woman’s purse is like a man’s car. Think about it.
8. Eyelash Curler: I’d like to see a man put on fake eyelashes. Mastering advanced Algebra is much easier than learning to apply just the right amount of glue to your eyelash. Try it if you don’t believe me.
Now, stop reading if you don’t want to get mad at me…but look at this picture. Helen Gurly Brown says YOU will LOVE this position of sex…because
Because there’s little eye contact, your man feels free to engage in reckless role-playing, a major turn-on for you both.
Uh..so the man is turned on by NOT having any eye contact with you? He is engaged in reckless role playing?
Uh..what role is he playing? Porcupine? Is he tearing down the Berlin Wall? He is sick of looking at your face? He doesn’t want to remember you putting your eyelashes in a curler?
Okay, I won’t do this stuff often. It’s just that, Helen Curly Brown’s Cosmopolitan was a genius at getting us all to look, and in my case laugh….and entertaining me in many a boring line at the grocery store.
I don’t think the magazine helped our society at all…but neither did Hugh Hefner..who will probably be following right behind her….and Hugh NEVER made me laugh.
Which I suppose somewhere there is an article written in Cosmo that said this:
RIP Helen.. You were one- of- a- kind.
Got $250,000 you just want to blow? Well, here’s something you might think about: 18 caret-gold black diamond nail polish. 267 carets. They made no mention of HOW you would get it off. I don’t know about you…but I’m going to be watching Michelle Obama’s fingernails next White House party. Remember…one bottle: $250,000 by O.P.I. You might as well get another bottle for your cat.