To me, arguments about religion, are like watching a snake swallow its own tale. In the end the snake eats itself, and there’s nothing left to talk about. And religion is fun to talk about. (See video below, for a man having fun talking about religion.)
Every religion has its stories, and lately, some people have come up with a new twist trying to figure out, just exactly how we all got here. Basically, it’s the story of the Anunnaki, who according to some scholars, were aliens who came here long ago, bred with human women, and improved the race.
(There’s the first flaw…improved?)
Let’s see if I’ve got this story right: Some really curious German guy named Georg Grotefend had been reading ancient Sumerian tablets one afternoon, and read this:
“After the kingship descended from heaven, the kingship was in Eridu. In Eridu, Alulim became king: he ruled for 28,000 years. Then Alalngar reigned for 36,000 years, while En-men-lu-ana ruled for 43,2000 years. “
As you remember, Noah, Seth, Enos and others lived more than 900 years.
(2nd flaw: Who was counting this?)
So, it seems the REASON these guys lived so long is because they were actually from another planet. Moses and Seth were hybrids, so therefore, because of the human woman DNA, they got royally robbed. After the great flood, nobody lived very long. Gilgamesh, only lived for 120 years. (And his descendants live on Gilligan’s island)
The Sumerians (Who were actually aliens) gave us the 60 minutes concept (without we would not have a 60 minute TV show) and the Zodiac, something which none of us could live without. Obviously Nancy Reagan was closer to the Gods than the rest of us.
Now…pay close attention:—-An Alien named Quetzalcoatl, the great teacher of the Mayans, was known as Vircocha to the Incas, and as the sun god Ra to the Egyptians. Evidently this guy zipped all over the planet and build pyramids. (He is also known as Marduk, god of Marmaduke)
So why in the world did these ‘gods’ come to Earth? To mine for gold silly! Greedy bastards live everywhere in the universe. No..the real reason they wanted the gold…get ready for it:
“The Annunnaki sought gold to save their atmosphere, which had apparently sprung leaks similar to those we have created in ours by damaging the Earth’s ozone layer with Hydro fluorocarbons. They disperse extremely tiny flakes of gold into the upper atmosphere to patch holes.”
Right. Global warming is happening everywhere in the universe. If Al Gore starts insisting we need a REALLY high priced world carbon tax to plug our ozone holes with gold, I say we say to him, “ Go back to your mother Gaia, and paint your face with coconut oil, and leave us alone!”
Anyway, the Anunnaki used the Neanderthals as slaves to mine the gold—but they were slow, so two alien brothers: Enlil and Enki (first gay couple) came to take control. Enlil (firstborn) was head ruler. (Aliens also practiced the stupid habit of giving the oldest son control) Enlil was mission commander, and Enki was executive and science officer…and guess what? They didn’t get along.
Enki drained the marshes on the northern shore of the Persian Gulf, and with his son Marduk —-they worked on irrigating the land between the Tigris and Euphrates. Murduk later nuked the Tower of Babel, and other places, and became RA the first ruler of Egypt.
(3rd flaw: You can have only so many alien RA’s)
All the pharaohs were Marduk’s offspring: Geg and Nut, Osiris, Isis, Seth, ..and one day they built the Great Pyramid to imprisoned Murdock because he was just nuking too much, and making big holes in the planet, like the Dead Sea.
Enki had a girlfriend named Ninhursag and they produced the first test tube baby: Adam…who was a combination of an African human woman, and a young Anunnaki male. But an alien woman carried the child to term. So that explains how Adam got here. Seeing what they had done, like the typical rulers all over the universe they said this:
“The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever. “
So they put caps on our DNA so we would die and not get too smart. Now it’s called Obamacare. (There are rulers, and then there’s the rest of us, and it’s best we stay stupid, according to them.)
So there they were, Alien gods, fornicating day and night with the women of the earth, and then one day Enlil complained that the sound of mating humans kept him awake at night. (I HATE when that happens) And so he decided to kill them all, with Obamacare..
No…no…he did it with a flood.
But Enki was way ahead of him, He helped his hybrid Noah build a boat, supplied it with all the DNA of the planet, (taking a lot of weight off Noah who was trying to figure out how to walk the elephants to the bathroom) and voila! Human kind flourish to this day!
So you can thank the alien Enki, not God, that we are all here. According to the legends, they were just like us: They were vain, petty, cruel, incestuous, and hateful. And that’s why Hillary Clinton will run for President: She just can’t help herself.
Oh— the Anunnaki also developed the wheel, schools, medical science, the fisrt written proverbs, history, taxation, laws, social reforms, the first cosmogony and the first money, as well as the first bicameral Congress. I suggest we go to THEIR planet and make them mine for gold.
And the Rothschild’s claim to be direct descendants of the Sumarian Kings.
Now, wasn’t that fun?
(Nobody Notes: So…did anybody like any of those other templates, or does this one suit you fine? If it does, I’ll try to figure out how to make the fonts bigger, which is my main concern. Thanks for putting up with my Monkish proclivities. )
All info out of Jim Mars: Our Occulted History
What happening? Everybody is upset about that lovable but very old Pope Benedict XVI retiring. Frankly, being the Pope should be like any other job, and since he is the leader of his own nation-state, it’s only fitting that someone who’s brain isn’t functioning should NOT be in the drivers’ seat..really.
This notion that leaders of great institutions (take our Congress for instance) should stay in their jobs while dementia or strokes racks their brains, and all the top decision that come out of those brains must be adhered too—- is absurd.
Wait…Hillary just had a stroke…should she be allowed to run for President? Shouldn’t she retire for good?
Of course she should, but she won’t, because you see…Pope Benedict’s brain is still functioning–we’re not sure we can say that about Hillary.
Here’s what the Pope said:
In today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of St. Peter and proclaim the gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me.”
The Pope is not God, nor a Pharaoh…so what is the big deal?
This…is a daddy issue. People have been living without daddies for much too long. For instance, Chris Rock says Obama is our Daddy. All the Cardinals were on TV crying and saying he was like their Father.
Daddy Pope. (sigh)
So, who’s going to be the new pawn? A South American Pope? Since the news is talking about a black man from Africa, odds are…that’s just who the “elites’ want for the next decade since it seems the wars are going to Africa now and out of the Middle East, a black Pope would give them some clout with the black Muslims. Or a Spanish-speaking Pope to help with the upcoming amnesty?
Pope’s are not perfect: Really. How heavy is that silly hat? Poor guy..Frankly, I thought he has been out of his mind the second year of his popeful reign…when he started talking about aliens….
And then you have the Miami Marlins, whose fan base consists of four people standing in line to get tickets to the Miami Marlins Winter warm up FANFARE event. Evidently, they ate before they came to the park.
So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect award for the week?
The Marlins win! To have a baseball franchise, where 74 players are paid millions in salaries, (in a brand new tax-funded stadium) and they can only get four people interested in showing up to watch them play….I’d say the perfection card for the Miami Marlins is sitting somewhere in purgatory.
If the Pope can retire with dignity, maybe the Miami Marlins should too. I say we all say a good Catholic prayer for those poor workers at the concession stand. They are going to need divine intervention…maybe we should write the Pope and he can give them his blessing before he retires..
While I should be thrilled to hear the ‘President’ make so many references to me in a speech, (cough, cough) even I was surprised when Obama blurted this out…I mean, I had NO idea that he was all for putting people back to work creating energy, and that means that he is going to approve the Keystone pipeline!
“Nobody wants a handout. Nobody wants to get something for nothing,” Obama said. “But if we’ve got a chance to create energy and create value and put people back to work, why wouldn’t we do that?“
Yes! Exactly, Mr. President! Why wouldn’t we do that? Just by saying this, how can you possibly refuse to build the Keystone pipeline because it would do exactly what you just said: create jobs, and create energy? Even Slim Pickens got out of the Windmill farms. Let’s go!
Nobody Knows how the President can keep on wanting to pour billions of taxpayers’ dollars down failing green energy jobs, because they all fail.
Which is why that video is an excellent way to start Mitt’s campaign attacks.
But Nobody Thinks, that the blacks around Obama are starting a big “get whitey” campaign motion going to get Obama reelected.
Yesterday, Eric Holder, a man who thinks whites are to blame for all the black problems, has decided to get all the black ministers in the country mobilized to make sure all the blacks stay on Obama’s plantations:
Attorney General Eric Holder, the IRS, and the liberal lawyers at the ACLU will brief several hundred pastors in the African American community on how to participate in the presidential election — which the Congressional Black Caucus chair expects will help President Obama’s campaign..
“In fact, we’re going to have the IRS administrator there, we’re going to have the Attorney General Eric Holder there, we’re going to have the lawyers’ organization from around the country, the ACLU — all giving ministers guidance about what they can and cannot do,” he noted.
Wait…isn’t that against the Constitution? The government giving ministers “guidance” about what they can and cannot do? We are not paying Eric Holder to “tell” churches what to do, that’s against the Constitution. And if the churches become Obama’s campaigners, they should pay taxes.
So, is the IRS being used as a threat? Or to make them all feel protected?
What would happen if all the “white” ministers got together and told their members to vote for Mitt Romney, because he’s white?
Well, one thing we do know…there isn’t one white politician that is going to say one thing about the insidious actions of the President using black churches to campaign for his reelection.
A BLACK politicians could–but nobody knows if they will.
“No John, ” I said to my friend as he was lying in the hospital bed. “You would be surprised to know that I’m not in disagreement with you…it’s just that, religion brings great comfort to so many people…you must know that?”
My 73-year-old very liberal friend, John, was getting so upset, that the beeper on the machine that was hooked up to his arms, started beeping. John shouted, “That’s annoying!”and pushed the button hard with his fist to call the nurse. He had surgery the day before to replace a kneecap.
Add that knee surgery to his past triple bypass, gallbladder removal, prostate cancer, and diabetes, and you have a man who is not exactly in good shape.
But when he looks in the mirror, he sees a vibrant young stud. Always will. And I have NO idea how he pulls off that little trick. To me, he looks just this side of George Burns without the sense of humor.
You see, John had never gotten married, because, he …loved sex. Hooked on it in fact. When we first met(at a library computer class) he would brag about his past and all he would talk about was…sex…how many thousands of girls he had…bedded. He was 60 at the time. It was driving him crazy that it was getting harder and harder for him to pick up the usual two or three women he was accustomed to. To him, the good old days of four girls a night were heaven.
To me, he was just a very lonely old soul. No wife, no children,…and he sold water faucets. Traveling salesman. Spending his life in cars. I would have crashed myself long ago into a ditch if I had been him, but he liked it. I can only imagine what he spent his money on, because all he had to show for his single life was a nice car and a condo.
I hadn’t seen him in ten years and within five minutes I was already getting lectured on the “weak” minded people who believe in god. Those people, like that damn Jerry Falwell, they have ruined the world..he said.
John is a very proud atheist. To him, anyone who believes in God is not as brilliant, or as strong as he is.
Strong was the word he used, and it was how he felt about himself.
“Well, Obama today is talking about God.”I said. “The Democrats are ALWAYS preaching in Churches.” Okay, I shouldn’t have said that. John is a liberal, and I was just about to find out…how he started down the path of how he became his wonderful enlightened liberal self.
It was in high school. He was only fifteen and he basically broke his virginity with a sixteen-year -old foreign exchange student from Sweden. It was there he learned how to look at the world. She taught him that what he was raised to believe in, was bull. This lead him to a life of hedonism that served the one purpose…himself, and his sexual needs.
Even though I have not seen John since I met him so long ago,he would write me emails telling me how lonely he was…searching for a woman. I had no illusions about it, his body was falling apart and there was no one to take care of him in his old age. John, was realizing that he needed someone to grow old with.
He showed me a picture of his new Swedish girlfriend. She was a doctor, 62 years old. He had met her online, and she was in great shape and by all accounts a beautiful woman.
He even had a picture of her when she was sixteen. There was one picture that was not exactly the best, and it galled me when he said, “Oh..that’s a terrible picture.”
That’s a godless man for you. Ugly old man, making a remark about a sixty -year old beautiful face.
You see, John had never gotten married, because, he …loved sex. Hooked on it in fact. When we first met he would brag about his past and all he would talk about was…sex. He was 60 at the time.
And now, he finally found someone.
“She was just screwing around with me when she got my email.” he said. “I told her I knew her little village well, and she didn’t believe me. She thought I was lying.”
But for once in his lying life, John wasn’t lying. I can only imagine the hundreds of past trailing tears laying ribbons of despair after John was sexually through with them. When I reminded him that he must have lied in his life with so many girls, he said that was in the 70′s: Everybody lied.
Evidently this woman had been lied to, and was careful with her heart. John was truly surprised that she didn’t trust men.
“Oh..so people actually LIE in Sweden too” I said? “Is there an epidemic of lying that we don’t know about?” Insinuating that in his European utopia, people weren’t perfect.
John doesn’t get my sense of humor.
“Well John, I think there is some higher power.” I said, “Because there are things in this life, miracles if you wish to call them, that happen every single day and mathematically speaking, the odds are against it..without something else causing it.”
“For instance, what are the odds, that you would meet the perfect woman for you? One who doesn’t want to get married (he hates the institution)—who lives in the most beautiful town in the world, that you loved as a soldier, in a country which has high taxes (he thinks we need to be taxed more) who has perfect breasts (so important to him) and body. She’s your idea of the perfect blond, and on top of all that, she’s a doctor! You are in such bad shape, you’d be lucky to get a nurse for a girlfriend, but a doctor?”
“What are the odds that just by chance you would met this doctor on the internet?”
Well, I may not know calculus, but It doesn’t take much of a brain to see that the odds are like 1 million to 1, and if you saw John, you’d say, I was short a few billion.
To me, this selfish, moronic, and pathetic lonely soul lying in this bed was sent a miracle today by God. A real woman to finally love him in his old age. God is giving John one last chance of happiness. He should hurry as fast as a plane can carry him and go get this woman, and live his days out as a happy liberal in Sweden.
BUT…she has a son.
“Personally, I think he should not be living with her, after all, he’s 21.”
John, doesn’t really want the 21 year old around.
There you go.
God knocks on many doors…and some just don’t care to hear it. Will John open door number One? Or door number two?