Nobody’s Perfect: Hillary’s Flu VS George’s Pretzel
“The DOG ate my homework!”
“I had a flat tire, and that’s why I’m late!”
“My alarm didn’t go off…”
“I fainted because I had a virus, hit my head, and so I just can’t make it to Congress to testify because the doctor told me I have to rest my brain…..”
WASHINGTON (AP) — Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sustained a concussion last week after becoming extremely dehydrated and fainting while suffering from a stomach virus, the State Department said. The 65-year-old Clinton is recovering at home and has been advised by her doctors to continue to rest and avoid strenuous activity and cancel all work events for the next week.
Democrat “insisted that given her condition, she could not and should not appear” as planned, said Kerry spokeswoman Jodi Seth. Obama is expected to nominate Kerry to succeed Clinton.
Excuses. We’ve all heard them, we’ve all used them, and some are much better than others.
Excuses are what humans use to get out of something they don’t want to do…like jury duty, a date we don’t want to go on, or a day off from work so we can go to the SuperBowl….but when Joe Blow skips work, in most matters, it doesn’t affect the whole country, unlike our famous politicians.
Hillary…can’t testify in the most important scandal of this century because she’s…got to rest her brain.
HA HA HA HA…who knew she had one?
And this episode made me think of another famous politician who was a bit more creative when it came to excuses—Remember with me….
WASHINGTON — President Bush briefly lost consciousness Sunday after he choked on a pretzel while watching a football game on television in his living quarters, the White House said.
After fainting, the president tumbled to the floor from a couch, bruising his lower lip and suffering an abrasion the size of a half dollar on his left cheek, White House physician Dr. Richard Tubb said he fainted due to a temporary decrease in heart rate brought on by swallowing a pretzel.
So we as Americans must ask: Why do we keep electing people that fall off of c ouches, and have to “rest their brains.”
Nobody Thinks that Presidential PR people get paid BIG BUCKS to sit around a table and come up with creative excuses to get their bosses out of trouble.
“Well, we could tell the truth…”
“No..here’s what you do. You make up something that is so unbelievable, nobody will question it. Hillary can’t testify because last time she testified she said “I don’t remember” over 784 times. Some people actually REMEMBER that. So here’s what we’ll do. She’s got a flu right? We’ll just say she was dehydrated and fell over an hit her head and got a concussion, so when she DOES testify, she can say “I don’t remember” and EVERYONE will believe it was due to her concussion! Problem solved!”
Well, MSNBC bought it. But my dog doesn’t believe a word of it. And that’s why Nobody is giving George W. Bush the hands on winner in the Nobody’s Perfect contest this week.
Anybody who can fall off a soft couch while watching football, gaze his head in, bust his lip…a gash that looks more like he crashed while he was bike riding, or got in a fight with some guy in Texas..and because he didn’t want to lose his macho image, he said he choked on a pretzel…
THAT man has bigger cohunes than Hillary. Or better yet, THAT man was President and knew he couldn’t be touched, Hillary on the other hand, needs to get out of testifying.
Hillary should stand trial for her crimes in the Benghazi scandal. But..if she doesn’t , then running for President should be completely out of the question..
After all…if she is so brain dead she can’t make it to a Congressional hearing, she certainly can’t be President.
YES SHE CAN!
Now, that I’ve got that out of my system…I need to tell my husband that, “I didn’t pick up his medicine because I thought it was Sunday.”
This stuff could work wonders for us all…and we need to do is watch…and learn.
“I couldn’t find my keys!”
” My SISTER was on the phone for over an hour!”
“I have a fever…” (Feel free to donate your best)
“I had the flu, and fell down because I was working SO hard, that I started RUNNING to the plane, and then while I was trying to save a baby, who was being attacked by a terrorist, I stuck the pretzel I was carrying in my mouth, and then I choked, and USED my body to drop the terrorist who was trying to kidnap the baby, and fell to the ground, and banged my head, and so I just can’t show up for anything…
Don’t worry…the baby is fine due to my quick thinking. ”