Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Johnny Depp— Singlehandly Ressurecting Viewership of Awards Shows

Nobody’s Opinion

If not for Johnny Depp’s little drunken (or stoned, or both?) performance at this Awards show last week, nobody would have known what the award show was…because nobody watched it.

What was it again?

Who cares? My Nobody self is about Award-Show burned out. I’d rather watch Bill Whittle rants on YouTube, or caterpillars mate.

But, Johnny’s obvious funny rant, got me to thinking about the latest scientific research—-smokers 1

NEWSFLASH!: Smoking even a small dose of Panama Red, can dribble your brain. Shrink it, postpone it… your frontal lobe deflates, and yes, you might think you’ve discovered the universe in that slice of pizza you are holding in your hand, but everyone around you thinks you’re pretty much a dork.

The scientists concur:

The researchers found a lower IQ in those who smoked the drug as well as a smaller orbitofrontal cortex, a part of the brain associated with addiction and decision making. (See picture)

By all accounts, we can assume that Johnny Depp won’t be ask to join Mensa anytime soon.

“This data certainly confirms what others have reported with regard to changes in brain structure. When we consider the findings of the Gilman … study with our own and other investigations of marijuana use, it’s clear that further investigation is warranted, specifically for individuals in emerging adulthood, as exposure during a period of developmental vulnerability may result in neurophysiologic changes which may have long-term implications.”

As for adolescents: “Don’t do it early–prior to age 16. That’s what our data suggests, that regular use of marijuana prior to age 16 is associated with greater difficulty of tasks requiring judgment, planning and inhibitory function as well as changes in brain function and white matter microstructure relative to those who start later.”

What advice. It’s okay to ruin your brain, just wait until your sixteen. Did you get that? (How old is Obama in that pictures?)

So..what does this say about all the adults getting high in Colorado? And why do so many people get stoned when it makes them…stupid?smoker 3

Okay. I know…we all know your metabolism plays a big part in whether you can handle drugs OR alcohol in great quantities…one man’s ceiling is another man’s night by the toilet bowl–but I grew up in the rock and roll Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrick experience too, where even if you didn’t do drugs, you could get stoned just sitting in the audience at their concerts, because trust me, it’s a weird feeling to be the only straight person among 10,000 stoned, really high… people.

And if any of my former friends are reading this blog, please forgive me for NOT being able to get drugged stoned-up drunk with the group all those concert going nights.

Please believe me, you were all very entertaining, and I thank you for NOT leaving me in the parking lot, and for trying to accept me for what I really must have been to you: totally…boring.

So, now you, the readers know. I may say “let’s all get stoned and drink” but the truth is: I can’t. I was the one who really DIDN’T inhale( And that’s why I know Bill Clinton did) …but I pretended to by making a sucking sounds and a funny face. (I learned that from watching my friends take looooooog tokes.)

And in case you haven’t guessed: because I was sober while most of my friends were either drunk or stoned, I made a few observations of my own, because as we all know: you can learn a lot by watching drunk and stoned people.

Mainly: Don’t ever get that drunk or stoned.

The research stopped short of another important question I think we should all ask: Are you better getting drunk or stoned? (Or in Johnny’s case, maybe both.)

Not according to my local Mayor, who once got on the radio and told EVERYONE that he considered smoking dope harmless, and definitely not as dangerous as alcohol. There was a Mexican restaurant right in front of the police station that always had two or three Vipers parked in front next to the Dollar Store, which lead me to highly suspect WHY my mayor would promote getting stoned on the radio.

But…I’m sure I’m considered a terrorist by my local police, so I will say no more.drunk 2

Despite the many deaths caused by alcoholics getting behind the wheel, when it comes to hurting yourself—-My advice? Get drunk if you want—- Just don’t drive.

Some of the most brilliant men to ever walk the earth were drunkards. History is full of them. Their lapse of brain functions was always during the time they were inebriated…the next morning, when they sobered up…their IQ was still there. Their liver’s may go someday, but they still can think—-UNLIKE your usual pothead…whose is just happy to think he’s really got the world figured out, when in reality, his brain is usually thinking about his next meal, and next score.

Not too many potheads win Nobel Prizes, although, some of them do win Presidential elections.

I have watched people pass out on the floor from being drunk, but to me that’s not as scary as the person who smokes every day and loses the ability to make coherent sentences. They can walk…but they don’t think much.

The drunk, WILL come back to the bar the next night. The stoner, will just stay home, and eat…..just about everything.

Drunks are more fun. Unless of course, they drive. Or they are mean. And then we get into the “Yeah man, drunks beat up women, people who are stoned NEVER hurt anybody?”

And that brings me to the next thought: Some people actually can do anything: drink all night, smoke, and drop acid, and it doesn’t seem to affect them at all.

How do you tell if they have lost their frontal lobes?

Easy. If you know someone who does drugs and then is on a health food diet, that’s your clue.

Health food doesn’t raise your I.Q., and to think that it will even out all that partying shows you that maybe the IQ was low to begin with.

And on that note, I have to say, I really enjoyed Johnny Depp’s drunken speech.

I’ll take a drunken speech over a political one any day of the week. The people who put on these shows haven’t figured out the reason people aren’t watching these shows anymore is because of the liberal movies stars saying things like “GUNS KILL!”

Hollywood also haven’t figured out that drugs kill. So does alcohol. So–if your kids saw Johnny’s Depp’s performance and asked you what was wrong with him?

Just tell them, “He lives in France. That’s how they talk over there. ” Especially IF—-they are under 16.

 

November 16, 2014 - Posted by | drugs, Uncategorized | ,

1 Comment »

  1. ...regular use of marijuana prior to age 16 is associated with greater difficulty
    of tasks requiring judgment, planning and inhibitory function as well as changes
    in brain function and white matter microstructure...
    

    That explains a great deal about the current occupant of the White House.

    Like

    Comment by snopercod | November 17, 2014 | Reply


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