Nobody Knows
Have you seen the Progressive car insurance commercial where the bimbo Progressive Lady says that when she thinks of togetherness (like auto and house insurance) she thinks of glitter and unicorns?
I know…I’m glad she’s not my neighbor.
But, that got me to thinking…just about EVERYONE in the world thinks that unicorns never existed. Never..just a fairy tale princess item made up to make millions of little toys for little girls to fantasize about having her own pony.
Okay, bear with me because I never had a thing for unicorns..but the other day, I read this account, written by a man named John Sparke, in 1565:
“The Floridians have pieces of unicorns’ horns, which they wear about their necks, whereof the Frenchmen obtained many pieces. Of those unicorns they have many, for that they do affirm it to be a beast with one horn, which coming to the river to drink, puts the same into the water before she drinks.”
Yeah…guess what? Years ago…everyone talked about unicorns as if they were just another fish in the sea, turtle on the log, bar-bee on the skillet. Who knew?
John goes on to describe the rest of the animals of Florida in great detail, all of whom still exist today, and lumped the unicorn right in there with the dolphins and flamingos. It was obvious that John Sparke did not SEE the unicorns, but believed they existed because the natives and the French guys had the horns around their necks.
This was before men could buy Mercedes Benzes.
And he wasn’t alone.. Unicorns are in many accounts of Greek historians. Ctesias described then as wild asses, “fleet of foot, having a horn a cubit and a half in length and colored white, red, and black. Aristotle mentioned two one-horned animals, the Oryx and the “Indian ass.” Strabo says there were one-horned horses with stag-like heads. Pliny the Elder describes what seems to be a rhinoceros: “a very fierce animal called the monoceros which has the head of the stag, the feet of the elephant, and the tail of a boar, while the rest of the body is like that of a horse: it makes a deep lowing noise, and has a single black horn, which projects from the middle of its forehead, two cubits in length.”
The bible mentions them quite a few times…for example: “God brought them out of Egypt: he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn.”
Marco Polo described them as scarcely smaller than elephants.
“They have the hair of a buffalo and feet like an elephant’s. They have a single large black horn in the middle of the forehead, and they have the head like a wild boar’s. They spend their time by preference wallowing in mud and slime. They are very ugly brutes to look at. They are not at all such as we describe them when we relate that they let themselves be captured by virgins, but clean contrary to our notions.
Good old Marco Polo. No wonder they named a swimming game after him.
Yeah…I love history. Especially this part: Unicorns, according to all those who knew one, could be captured by a virgin. (Okay, when I was a virgin, I couldn’t capture a damn thing..what gives here?)
Leonardo Da Vinci wrote:
“The unicorn, through its intemperance and not knowing how to control itself, for the love it bears to fair maidens forgets its ferocity and wildness; and laying aside all fear it will go up to a seated damsel and go to sleep in her lap, and thus the hunters take it.”
Good old Leonardo. Not quite up to Marco’s observations..but definitely more entertaining.
There’s a moral in there somewhere. Mean and horny beasts, who cannot control themselves, become kittens in the laps of virgins. We need to find some virgins fast and send them to the Capitol….
Or else America will become the next fairy tale.
So, was there ever such a creature as a unicorn?
John Sparke says yes. and nobody argues with history, or virgins.
May 18, 2011
Posted by Joyanna Adams |
History | History |
9 Comments
Nobody Remembers: While we all have been taught that George Washington was the first President, (and technically, he was) it still sad that these other guys have been erased out of the history books. I got this in an email today…and I thought it was interesting.
*****
For all you history buffs out there. As they say, you learn something new every day.
Who Was The First President? I’m sure that George Washington was your best guess. After all, no one else comes to mind. But think back to your history books – The United States declared its independence in 1776 yet Washington did not take office until April 30,1789. So who was running the country during these initial years of this young country? It was the first eight U. S. Presidents. In fact, the first President of the United States was one John Hanson.
The new country was actually formed on March 1, 1781 with the adoption of The Articles of Confederation. This document was actually proposed on June 11, 1776, but not agreed upon by Congress until November15, 1777. Maryland refused to sign this document until Virginia and New York ceded their western lands (Maryland was afraid that these states would gain too much power in the new government from such large amounts of land). Once the signing took place in 1781, a President was needed to run the Country. John Hanson was chosen unanimously by Congress (which included George Washington). In fact, all the other potential candidates refused to run against him, as he was a major player in the revolution and an extremely influential member of Congress.
As the first President, Hanson had quite the shoes to fill. No one had ever been President and the role was poorly defined. His actions in office would set precedent for all future Presidents. He took office just as the Revolutionary War ended. Almost immediately, the troops demanded to be paid. As would be expected after any long war, there were no funds to meet the salaries. As a result, the soldiers threatened to overthrow the new government and put Washington on the throne as a monarch. All the members of Congress ran for their lives, leaving Hanson as the only guy left running the government. He somehow managed to calm the troops down and hold the country together. If he had failed, the government would have fallen almost immediately and everyone would have been bowing to King Washington.
NOBODY NOTES: Other historians, credit a meeting of all the officers, which was set up by George Washington in order to talk sense into the officers who were contemplating this action, and in which he gave a speech so moving, that they all went home, without a fight. So, maybe both men were due credit.
Hanson, as President, ordered all foreign troops off American soil, as well as the removal of all foreign flags. This was quite the feat, considering the fact that so many European countries had a stake in the United States since the days following Columbus.
Hanson established the Great Seal of the United States, which all Presidents have since been required to use on all official documents. President Hanson also established the first Treasury Department, the first Secretary of War, and the first Foreign Affairs Department. Lastly, he declared that the fourth Thursday of every November was to be Thanksgiving Day, which is still true today.
The Articles of Confederation only allowed a President to serve a one year term during any three year period, so Hanson actually accomplished quite a bit in such little time. Seven other presidents were elected after him: Elias Boudinot (1782-83), Thomas Mifflin (1783-84), Richard Henry Lee (1784-85), John Hancock (1785-86), Nathan Gorman (1786-87), Arthur St. Clair (1787-88), and Cyrus Griffin (1788-89) All prior to Washington taking office.
So what happened? Why don’t we hear about the first eight presidents?
It’s quite simple – The Articles of Confederation didn’t work well. The individual states had too much power and nothing could be agreed upon. A new doctrine needed to be written – something we know as the Constitution.
And that leads us to the end of our story. George Washington was definitely not the first President of the United States. He was the first President of the United States under the Constitution we follow today. And the first eight Presidents are forgotten in history.
YOU HAVE TO BE A LOVER OF HISTORY TO APPRECIATE THIS!! (It took 8 years for us to establish a successful government. Remember this when you hear that so little progress has been make during these last 3 years in establishing a Government in Iraq.)
April 20, 2011
Posted by Joyanna Adams |
Presidents | History |
3 Comments
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Joyanna Adams 