Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody’s Email: Kids…Explain the Ocean

Nobody Gets Email:

Yesterday, I went out to help my high school girl friend buy a new car. While we were in the finance office signing papers, the financial office got to talking about his young son. While in this politically correct world, I am NOT supposed to mention that the man was black, educated, and obviously a doting father, in this section of the nation, where every white is considered racist, it was a refreshing.  He said something that every parent finds out, and those without children miss: Kids, as Bill Cosby used to say, “Kids say the darndest things” (Especially when you don’t drug them…sorry, I couldn’t pass that up.)  This black father was amazed at what was coming out of his three-year-olds mouth.

My own son, was four, when we were having a talk about the economy and jobs, and he said, “Mom…is God Japanese?” At the time, the news was filled with how Japan was talking over the car market. Since it was the first question he had ever asked about God, I had NO idea how to answer. In fact, I said something like, “No one knows. I guess he could be.” LOL! Using the “Get out of complicated question with a no answer” used now by politicians everywhere— line.

Here, are some other examples of kids logic, about the ocean, sent around the world in an email:


(Thanks to JR)


Children Writing About the Ocean…

  1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 7)
2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
  3. If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an  island. If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 4)confused baby two
  4. Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily  Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
  5. A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.  (Billy, age 8)
  6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and  pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie,
age 6)
  7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the  ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My  brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age  7)
  8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and  I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
  9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age 8 )
10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I  think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11. When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 8)
12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13. On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was  going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14. The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)
15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit  being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)
If you didn’t smile at one of these, you need to find a better sense of humor.

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