Joyanna Adams

A Woman’s Anger:

Nobody Knows

That this is going to be off the wall subject: A man almost NEVER understands a woman’s anger.

I remember, when my dad had a stroke, and was lying in his bed, pulling on his weinie, (He did that a lot) paralyzed from his stroke, not talking…and my mother, who was still working came in and started yelling at him, for not taking his hands off his weinie. She just lost it.

“Mom! Stop it! He can’t help it, he’s brain damaged. He can’t even comprehend why you are pissed off.?”

At the time, I thought she was VERY cruel, because clearly, he was suffering enough.

Well, I’m older now. And when you get older you start going over your life, because you have the time to think. And I thought about why my mom lost it. She broke, and God knows, she had good reason to.

For years, she supported the family. She owned and operated a union shop, with over 20 to 30 employees at a time, she worked in every department, did the billing, answered the phone, worked in the bindery, the photo room, and ran the shop and the salesmen. She did everything. The only thing my dad did for most of her life was drive her to work.

Then he’d walk around the shop, and go out and make sales calls he said. But what he really did was go play golf. Every day. And his golf was not cheap.

She took care of my brother and I. After work, she would come home and cook dinner. Clean as much of the house as she could. Go to bed, and get up the next day and do it again. And she worked many weekends.

She never complained.

But…when my father had his stroke, she had to learn to drive herself to work everyday. And THAT was what broke her.

She was little, 4’8 inches. Her feet did not reach the peddles, she couldn’t see to get on a highway, so she had to take the side streets through the roughest neighborhoods in the city. It took her an hour to get to work, double the time had she been able to get on the highway and get there faster.

I could have drove her, sure. But I always got home from work at 3 in the morning and she got up at 5am.

So, when she saw my father laying there, I’m sure she was pissed off because he had, he had the best life…thanks to her. Sure he died young, 63, but she would be left alone to take care of it all. Her son didn’t want the business.

Her daughter, (me) well, it was the son who was to take it over. That was just her generation’s thought.

So, he was dying and leaving her alone. I’m sure she thought he would live until they retired together.

What’s the message here? Women NEED men. If only to drive them to work. So many women work, come home and cook…take care of the kids, sure it’s changing…both men and woman now have to work, and hopefully share in the chores around the house. Has it changed that much?

I don’t know.

So, next time your woman gets angry, find out WHY. Listen to her, and try to help out guys.

Sometimes, a woman just breaks. You work? Well, so does she.

Look back on life…and don’t wait until you retire. Think of a situation where you thought someone was being cruel, and then reassess the reason. Not everyone will tell you the truth or what they are going through.

And maybe, just maybe, you won’t judge them so harshly.

I should have gone over and hugged her, but the synpathy for my father was too strong.

There are ALWAYS two sides to every story, isn’t there? I wish I had left my ’empathy’ for my father at the door. It’s just that, both parents all my life, seem to be happy with their lot.

Who knew my mother was breaking? I didn’t. She was a tough one. But that morning, she screamed her head off and all the pent up frustrations came out.

What do you do when your wife explodes?

Life is tough enough for everyone. Go over and give her a big hug. Let her rant.

We need to give more hugs in this world to make it through.

May 8, 2024 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized