Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Houston: We Have a “REAL FAKE” Presidential Candidate!

Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night: I have been getting so many great emails during the week, that I think I’ll have to post them more than once a week. It seems such a pity to let these gems of wisdom and enlightenment go without notice. So, keep an eye out for more from me.
Here’s one by Bill Cosby…who was not only one of the funniest men on the planet, but a real American, who maybe SHOULD run for President!
 
(Thanks to Pat)
UPDATE: I have been informed from better sources than me, that Bill Cosby never said this stuff. Well, okay. Sorry bout that. BUT…it’s a good platform for somebody to run on…any takers?
 
******

Bill Cosby has a great way of “distilling” things. Looks like he’s done it again!  

AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!

 
I have decided to become a write-in candidate for President for the year 2012… Here is my platform:
 
1. Any use of the phrase: ‘Press one for English’ is immediately BANNED! English IS the official language: Speak it, or wait outside our borders until you can.
 
2. We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we’ll do NO exports. We will use the “Wal-Mart’s” policy, ‘If we ain’t got it, you don’t need it.” We’ll make it here and sell it here!
 
3. When imports are allowed, there will be 100% import tax on it coming in here.
 
4. All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the Southern border of the United States. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTH BOUND aliens.
 
5. Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn’t put nothin in, you AIN’T getting nothin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
 
6. Welfare. Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.
 
7. Professional Athletes–Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you’re banned from sports…For life.
 
8. Crime—we will adopt the Turkish method, I.e., the first time you steal you lose your right hand. (Nobody says…Bill is really getting into it now!) There is no more ‘life sentences.’ If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
 
9. One export of will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the EXACT price of a barrel of oil.
 
10. All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately lower the taxes. When disasters occure around the world, we’ll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the deicsion as to whether, or not, it is a worthy cause.
 
11. The Pledge of Allegiance will be said EVERY day at school, and every day in CONGRESS.
 
12. The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, ete.
 
My apologies if I have stepped on anyone’s toes…NEVERTHELESS…

 

                         GOD BLESS AMERICA
 
 Sincerly,
 
Bill Cosby.

March 27, 2011 - Posted by | Entertainers, Presidents |

3 Comments »

  1. Okay…it seems Bill Cosby did NOT say these things.
    There you go…here I am having fun posting emails and finding out that lots of them are rumors!

    There you go. My mother raised a “trusting” soul, bless her heart, but, not trained in “reporting” the news, which is what I do not do, instead I just give opinions…nevertheless.

    It’s true…Bill Cosby did not say this stuff and Nobody Knows who did…but somebody did, and it still good.

    Thanks to Doug Powers who, trys to teach me to act like I know what I’m doing….for that, he deserves a metal.

    Sorry…I will try to go to that Snoopes place more often.

    The truth WILL prevail!

    Like

    Joyanna Adams's avatar Comment by joyannaadams | March 27, 2011 | Reply

  2. Uh, no. You’ve been snoped:

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/platform.asp

    Like

    Dandapani's avatar Comment by Dandapani | March 27, 2011 | Reply

  3. Hahaha. He doesn’t go as far as we did, Joy. And he doesn’t mention money. How does he square the money supply with the import ban? No more Chinese credit from $2 a week peasant savings.

    I am not too sure about all the ex-military chaps on the border. They have done their bit and need to be replaced by a 90% female military who can deal with their own sexual harassment form-filling and Enquiries as well as hold the line in Afghanistan and Iraq until Bill withdraws them (Hah ! Promises) while the few chaps who volunteer operate the Human Resources functions and make the tea.

    Neither does he seem to have a policy on Domestic Violence. VAWA needs to be scrapped as a sexist money-hole and replaced with a more balanced ‘Mind your own damned business and make your ‘relationship’ choices better’ policy, costing sod-all. The girl’s playground game of ‘Let’s You (husband( and Him (the State/Police/Judges/Zoschial Verkers) fight’ should be disallowed for anyone over ten.

    Oh, and the age of consent for drinking alcohol, having sex, riding motor bikes and playing the drums will be raised to 25 unless you can prove multi-tasking all at the same time at an earlier age (and the drumming is tuneful).

    Like

    Amfortas's avatar Comment by Amfortas | March 27, 2011 | Reply


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