Joyanna Adams

Nobody Flashes: Woman and Child

Nobody’s Perfect

Today was my son’s birthday. 44. It was the first time in my life that I couldn’t even write him a letter. He lost his home. No longer lives there. Before I could send him my love…but I don’t want to dwell on that emtipness, I want to celebrate the miracle of his birth, and just how it feels to hold life in your stomach. How you can KNOW the child you’re carrying before he or she is even born.

I remember the moment I was TOLD I was pregnant. I was sitting by a pool in the Hills of Las Angeles. I was reading a book, and a thought came to me, “You are going to have a boy and he will grow up to be a Senator from Wisconsin.” No, not by a doctor, but some other voice inside my head.

I thought…WTF? Talk about a shock. He’s going to grow up to become a politician? Oh, for God’s sake…no! Who said this? Hey! Yeah, I remember thinking that as I dropped my fashion magazine onto the concrete. Good lord I thought. I’m pregnant?

Wisconsin? Seriously?

This was impossible because I was not only on the pill, but had a diaphragm. And my boyfriend at the time was driving me out to L.A. And then he flew home.

Impossible. I could only have been a week pregnant. Nature is amazing. You just…know. Even before the pregnancy test. Even at one week. I did.

Sure enough, it turned out to be true. It’s an amazing feeling being pregnant. You realize that there is a life inside of you, and you’d better take of it. I CRAVED fig newtons. I ate them every single day. The first time you feel a kick, a foot, a hiccup, it’s almost surreal. You want everyone to touch your stomach and feel it to. It brings you joy you can’t even imagine. And you KNOW that boy inside of you…somehow, you already know him.

How is that even possible? With me, at about 12 weeks, I grew a tiny light mustache. I’m blond. That was the biggest clue. People would say, “How do you know it’s a boy?” And I’d point to my upper lip. Thank goodness it went away.

I was three months pregnant when I married my first husband. We fought a lot. One night, I remember the fight was so bad, I ended up sleeping in my van, in the middle of winter. and holding my son, (about 5 months) crying and begging God to make it a son, because I wouldn’t want a daughter to go through such torment.  I still look back upon that night and wonder if I damaged the poor little soul somehow with all my emotional pain.

Lee Salk, whom I used to date, once told me he thought that babies inside the womb feel everything the mother feels. If she’s sad, he feels it. If he’s loved, he knows it. Lee thought people should play classical music to the womb, and always talk to it. And I did.

Anyway, I had a condition known as placenta previa. Placenta previa is a pregnancy complication in which the placenta (the organ that grows in the uterus to provide oxygen and nutrients to the fetus) attaches low within the uterus, covering all or part of the cervix. 

In other words, both mother and baby can die. They bleed to death. So…my ‘husband’ did not want this baby, he had already asked for an abortion, and I said no. He was told the danger I was in, and to not to fight with me, SO…of course, he started big fight, and I ended up rushed to the hospital at six months.

It was late…3 in the morning. My doctor’s name was Anastasia. And the nurses said he had been up all day, and night. But he would be there.

I was awake, and when he pulled my son out, I said really loud, with a smile “Anastasia!!! You did it”

Then they brought my son to me, and I looked at him and smiled. (MY hands were tied down so I couldn’t speak to him and I said “Hi Brett” as if I had known him all my life. In a way, I saw at the moment of his birth, our lives together.

I won’t go into the rest of the night, it was bad, but by the grace of God, and a lot of prayers, and his little but powerful will to live, we pulled through it. I don’t want to dwell on that hardship today.

I want to celebrate my son…whereever he is.

Bringing a life into the world is the most wonderful thing any woman can do.

It’s a feeling no man will ever know.

Sorry Wokesters.

Only mother nature can make a child.

January 16, 2024 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized