Joyanna Adams

Calling Mr. Musk: PLEASE: Make a Tesla phone that can be found EVEN by Joe Biden!

Nobody Remembers

Okay. I have to admit I miss the landline phone. I grew up in the age where nobody was glued to their phone. You had one in the kitchen, your bedroom, maybe the basement, and one in the living room. And when it rang, you knew RIGHT where to go. Simple. Easy. “Hello?”

You weren’t scared of someone recording your conversation. And then later, there was a machine to record messages. You could cook dinner while listening to them.

Okay, sure, tech upgrades has made the cell phone fantastic. It’s like have a small computer in your hand.

Everyone can get any information they want on their cell phone, and carry it with them anywhere. As Elon Musk says…when you can’t find your cell phone it’s like you have ghost syndrome. That’s like what someone has after having a leg cut off: You still think it’s there and the anxiety kicks in because…it’s gone.

Same thing happens when you can’t find your cell phone.

I have so many “apps” on my phone, I don’t even know what they are all for. They stare at me with eyes like so many people going “Touch me~! Touch me now!”

In the Dollar Store the other day, a young woman was trying to pay at the cash register with her cell phone. The line behind her got longer and longer and she could NOT find what she was looking for: probably some kind of coupon. We all got so bored we started talking about surgeries: knees, backs, hips…and I was thinking…keep going…we’ll get to our husbands soon enough. I hope she hurries up. Knowing my luck, the FBI would send what I said directly to HIS phone.

And I must confess I lose my cell phone in my house. All the time.  I lay it down somewhere and then I can’t find it. I’m not Joe Biden yet, it’s just that, I don’t want to deal with it. There are only so many hours in a day, and erasing emails takes me forever. But now, that got that little square up and they WANT you to scan. That big square: GO AHEAD! SCAN IT! NOW!

NO! I won’t. I’m going to go outside and trim my rosebush.

I admit. Us boomers are not going quietly into that good cell phone night. It’s a wonderful invention…but…true confession: I am NOT fond of anything that controls my time.

And cell phones do that…BIG TIME. On meaningless BS that will hook you on watching the latest cute dog feed his food to his pig buddy. My brain is locked into cuteness. I scrool enough on my computer, thank you very much.

THEY KNOW THIS…you will go to your grave thinking “Wow, that guy could really dance!”

SO…I have a suggestion for Tesla, who is coming out with a killer phone and so this nobody makes a request to Elon Musk:

Guys: PLEASE…put something in the phone so that WHEN the boomers cannot find their phone, there is someway they can figure out where they last left them.  I know Mr. Musk, you would just put a wire into their brain so that the phone could call them and say, “By the way, you left me in stall in the bathroom at your work.”  And we all know, brains of boomers need a tuneup…but…

YOU could wire the message from their cell phone into their head. That would work. BUT—

But frankly, I don’t think we can wait that long.

How about you put some kind of ring tone on the phone where if it’s NOT near its person, it rings and sends a message to your computer that says, “YOU LEFT ME IN THE CAR STUPID!”

Or “YOU LEFT ME ON THE BEACH IN DUBAI!”

Or “YOU LEFT ME ON THE SHORE OF THAT SWAMP WHERE YOU DECIDED TO HAVE SEX WITH AMICA AND NOW I AM IN AN ALLIGATORS STOMACH! HELP!”

Wait that won’t work either. Maybe your Telsa could keep track of it and you could just go out to your electric car and say “Where is my cellphone?”

Get the car or your new Tesla house robot to find it.

Because Austin: We have a problem. There are many boomers like me out in the world of high tech, that just want to get away from their phones. They want to get away from their spouses but that’s another blog.

I learned my lesson two years ago, when I did NOT take my cell phone and my car broke down in the middle of a major street…and the cops refused to help me get it off the road.

Year ago, I would have gone into the nearest store and said, “Can I use you phone?” Sure, they would hand me their land line.

HA~!

NO! There ARE no phone booths. LIne lines are gone. And most people will NOT let you use their phone.

This cop that came to my car got mad at ME because AAA did not show up for over an hour. He was missing his lunch hour.

And if you are stuck out in the middle of the desert or snowstorm or flood, and you did NOT bring a charged phone? What then?

I don’t EVEN want to go there. Just think how you would feel if you were buried alive without your cell phone. How would you pass the time?

Okay, I’ve made my point.

So please, Mr. Musk: Make a Tesla phone so cool, that it even has a way to find it’s way back to you. It seems from the video you have blown all the others away…except…what about the people who lose their cell phones?

Get your best engineers on this right away.

And I promise, all the boomers will be leaving Apple for that one idea alone.

Twice I’ve left my cell phone on some restaurant’s table.

And with a finding device on my cell phone, (Or my car) I can go into that cartel’s drug house and just politely say, “Uh…that’s my phone. Thanks! You took it OFF that table I was sitting at. By the way…what’s that smell? You might want to take care of that. Whew.”

Mr. Musk. I believe in you…make that new Tesla phone. Apple wants to gather all our data. Even when it’s lost. Not good. Besides…

Apple is SOOOO yesterday. Tesla…is the future,

A future so bright your brain will light up. And Apple will be left in the dustbin like old land lines waiting to be put back into service. Sort of like the boomers.

I can’t wait. Just so you know Mr. Musk, I offer this idea…for free. But you COULD send me a new phone.

Really, I think I deserve one.

June 14, 2024 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized