Joyanna Adams

GOLF: You can’t hit just one…

Nobody’s Opinion

Golf. Because of the fact that we lost our internet all weekend, DUE to some tornado’s coming at us, I ended up watching the only channel that I could get on the big screen…and what came in, in beautiful color? The Players tournament in Eastern Florida. I had nothing else to do. Being the fact that I was a REAL bonifide golf brat…it not only brought back many memories, but a lot of other thoughts as I watched the game…in fact, I couldn’t stop watching it. Years ago, watching golf on TV was about as boring as watching the dandelions on my lawn grow. But they got smart…they now cut to the different players, stay on their best shots, their worst shots, and leave. Makes it more entertaining.

The competition in golf is fierce. Unlike all other sports, golf is a gentleman’s game. Invented in Scotland, where I believe President Trump’s mother is from. In fact we all know Trump LOVES golf and owns many golf courses himself. His grandaughter Kai will no doubt become a pro. I’m sure he’s hooked on the game, I read somewhere that he loves the game so much, he spent a lot of money moving trees to his courses. Yep. But let’s not just talk about Trump: Obama, Clinton, Eisenhower…most all Presidents played golf whenever they could. It’s a great game to make deals…you know it. And nobody can get hurt.

The only real danger of suffering phyical damage is if someone accidentally hits you in the head with a golf ball, which has happened believe it or not. Sometimes–it has happened, because the men behind you are tired of waiting for you to hurry up and let the ‘pro’s play through you, so they hit into you and say they didn’t mean to. They lie, but, if it hits you in the head or eye? Permanent damage.

You can’t sue. All they have to say is “I’m sorry.”

Yes, there is a bit of danger in golf. But nothing like football, or hockey, or soccer…where big men can knock your head in, and leave you deformed forever, and forgetting where you left your keys. Anyway, the first thought came to my mind while watching golf was girls...I hate to tell you this, but ALL sports that we watch: Hockey, football, rugby, tennis, soccer, baseball—were invented by men. Men MUST compete. It’s in their DNA. And espescially now, when the WOKE culture has put them on the back of the bus. Yes, they compete in golf– but Golf is not a team sport. If your football team loses, it’s a team loss. You can all go out, and have a beer, you will still get paid. In golf, if you lose, you have no one else to blame but yourself. You’ve been out on the golf course, every day, traveling, and if you lose, your wife might kill you. There is yet a man who really ever truly masters the game. I don’t care if you are Tiger Woods, or use A.I…it is NOT a team sport: in golf you are basically playing your last shot. And because of that, it’s the most addicting sport besides video games to get hooked on.

I’ve watched good men play golf until they die…and that included my dad, who died at 63 from skin cancer which from his skin into his lungs and brain. When he died, I turned to my mother and said, “Well, he had wonderful life!” Okay…we both knew it was true. Golf every day? Lunch at the club? Good life.

So, here are the two who will playoff tomorrow morning….tied. Rory Mcllroy and J.J. Spaun…

So there I was, wondering when the internet was going to come back on, watching the most amazing shots…a few hole in ones, unbelievable chip shots. Fantastic drives…men who had practiced all their lives to get to the top of their game and play the best. And yet, so many of these guys would get to have to putt into a hole just a few feet away…and MISS! They all did it? WHAT? It was like getting the girl into the bed, and then at the last minute..you…chicken out.

One of the pros today, had a 2-foot putt for a birdie. He walked around, got down on his knees, looked at it from all angles, I’m surpised he didn’t spit on the ball. And then, after all that…he missed. Unfuckingbelievable. Sorry…even my son at 5 could have made that putt. Here he is at five…with grandpa and grandma…(His first word, thanks to grandpa, was BALL.)

Well, to be fair, they have camera’s to dodge, HUNDREDS of people they could hit with a ball, I don’t know how they manage that..all those people watching…really when you think about it.

Unlike other sports, which have remained pretty much the same, with few exceptions, the men who make those golf courses, who make the clubs, who design the “If you hit the ball just too much to left it will roll off the green, hit the bird watching it, and go into the water.” are ruthless with their creativity..

Go ahead, we DARE you…to hit the ball HERE. You are behind a tree? Tough.

These pro golfers have to study not only the wind speed, but the little hills and grass cuttings, the many sandtraps…it’s as if someone in the military said to the designers. “Put a BIG tree right here.” Make sure the water is impossible to miss! Sandtrip here…there…another one here….Who ARE these people?

So, if you know any man who is addicted to golf, I feel for you. My poor mother. She was angry at my father most days, and more on Sunday because then he would play 36 holes. And really, she paid for all his country club memberships which were not cheap.

They had an unconventional marriage. But it worked somehow. When she was older she took up the game and SHE got hooked.

That’s golf. If you have other important things to do with you life, take my advice: do NOT get hooked on golf. Cocoine might be cheaper. Your life will go by very quickly…and you will be wondering why? Why couldn’t I just get to that 62 on 18 holes like I did that one day?

Blame it on the Scots.

Me? My parents wanted me to marry a golfer, so my father could have a golf partner. I am NOT making this up. In rebellion, I became a drummer.

Golf take tremendous practice, and you have to love it enough to use it as it should be used. Just to escape the everyday life of stress. Enjoy the nature. Forgive yourself if you are not Tiger Woods.

And one more thing. DO NOT send your kids out to find their father on the golf course.

Yeah. Like I said…memories.“Have you seen my dad? Mom wants him to come home for dinner.” And when I found him, he was always only on the 16th, throwing grass into the air, to see which way the wind was blowing, and saying. “Okay.” And that was it. On the good side? I learned to dodge golfballs…I got pretty good at it. And I’m pretty good at driving the cart.

I’m all ready to drive our President to his next hole. Somebody tell him..I’m available for hire.

March 16, 2025 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized