Joyanna Adams

Ahhhh…Look at All the Lonely People….

Nobody Cares

There is nothing fun about going to an eye doctor to find out if you have to get cataract surgery. Almost everyone I know has had it. They say it’s nothing…”Easy. No pain. Really good!” But still, I am the perfect “Well, what COULD go wrong, probably will.” Kind of person. You know, expect the worst and be happy if it doesn’t happen…

So, when I was checking in at the counter, the nurse who checked me in would not even look me in the eyes. Why DOES this bother me? It just does. She was tiny, older, and clearly either didn’t like my appearance or was having a horrible day. (Maybe I should go easier on the red lipstick) I told myself…”Be nice…show her you are not what you look like.” Whatever that is…(Laugh here.)

She called my name as I waited in the waiting area, as if she was announcing the last execution. I found out she was actaully the lady to do the eye exam. You know, read this, put the eyedrops in…yada, etc…and she went so fast I was floored.

But I was determined to find out why she hated me. I won’t tell you how I did it, I’ve been practicing my skills at “Hey, I’m harmless!” and guess what? She opened up to me. She told me she had lost her husband last year, and all the kids were grown and out of her life. She lived alone, and the loneliness was almost unbearable. It was horrible, she said, her face cleary bearing her entrenched pain. I told her I had the same problem. She wasn’t as old as me, but it got me to thinking about all the women, who are living alone, no one to talk to, no kids to see, maybe working but, tired of life. So, I looked up some stats on GROK—

FROM GROK:

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Social Isolation and Living Alone: Older women are more likely to live alone than older men due to longer life expectancy (women live about 5-6 years longer on average) and higher likelihood of being widowed. According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2020), about 34% of women aged 65 and older lived alone compared to 20% of men in the same age group. Living alone increases the risk of dying unnoticed, as there may be no one to check on the individual regularly.

Demographics: Women make up a larger share of the older population. In 2020, there were about 30.1 million women aged 65 and older compared to 24.1 million men, a ratio of roughly 1.25:1. This larger population, combined with higher rates of living alone, suggests more women could be at risk.

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Right, and guess what? There ARE no statistics on women living alone, childless, but that is going to grow. No children, mean no grandchildren, means living the rest of their days in poverty and sadness, and like this woman, having to keep working as long as she could.

Of course, most of the young people NOT having children now, but putting their dogs in costumes instead, are not thinking of their future. Not only will SS run out, (some say it’s already gone) but the loneliness will be unbearable. Some will survive, but others?

It’s going to be REALLY hard. They were married, their husbands died, and they are left…alone. I knew this lady’s life would never get any easier.

And it’s not just humans: For instance…last year, I had a pair of yellow parakeets. Sugar, the female was killed by our new pup. I don’t know how my silly pup did it, I was out, but her mate, Corona, was okay for about a week. THEN…at night, every night, I would hear him cry. Over and over…all night. This went on for about two months, and then one morning, he was dead on the bottom of the cage.

Broken heart. He just couldn’t do life without her.

There are other animals who mourn their mates: Wolves, Elephants, Penguins, Swans, Gibbons, and Albatrosses. And dogs…dogs are very emotional when their mates die, or their humans.

And humans? Men might remarry, but women seldom do, which leaves them lonely and mourning for their mate, especially if they have no other family members in their life. Too many children put their parents in nursing homes: Most of them are a hell hole of misery. Even my own father only went to see his mother once before she died. My brother? While I took care of mom after her stroke, he came to see her ONCE…that year. My own husband? He did not go to either of his parents funerals. They didn’t like me, so he choose. Yeah, men have a hard time with it. I think, it’s just too much for their brains to handle.

Is there a happy thing in this blog anywere Joyanna? Wow…okay. By the time I life, the lady and I were laughing and having a good time. I felt good knowing I had made her smile, and there was someone (me) where she could unload her tremendous pain too, and I felt good to give her a bright spot in her day.

So, here’s the lesson: When you see an older person, stop…talk to them…make them laugh…tell them something nice, like “Oh you have such pretty hair.” It only takes a few minutes, because really…there are a lot of lonely people out there…and with the world changing, and the churches being burnt down all over the world, a little kindness goes a long way.

Oh, and for an update…remember my last post about my preacher neighbor? Guess what? He apologized for being such a jerk! So, see? He felt sorry for this old lady too! We hugged, and all is well again.

Now…this reminds me of a song….

May 1, 2025 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized