Joyanna Adams

The Stroke: The Old, the Young…

Nobody’s Opinion

Today, I want to talk about ‘strokes.’ NOT the TV program the real brain killer. Not all the ones Joe Biden was having…but close. I’m talking about the real strokes, that kill you.

I was riding in the car today, coming home from ‘Wally World” and this guy on the radio was doing a comedy bit about how his father was sort of a cronic egocentric guy, and they got into a fight about politics. This man loved his father, but after that fight his father stopped talking to him. Later, he went to see his dad in the hospital, after his dad had suffered a stroke. And he admitted he was in a way glad his father had the stroke, because his dad was finally nice to him.

Boy, that hit me. I remember, there was an event in my childhood that happened when I was five, (I was almost raped and killed) and my father blamed my mother, and so, my father never talked to me ever again..well unless it was something simple, like “Let the dog out will ya.” I had no relations with my father…none. I saw him, he just never talked to me. Just a few painful memories, but I do remember hating him as a teenager, mostly because he ignored me, while my older brother was worshipped.

But after the teen years, I just accepted him. Yeah, I grew up.

Then, when my dad had just turned 60, (He died at 63) he suddenly did NOT look good. I remember one day, he was on the couch, and asked me if I could mow the lawn for him. He was just tired he said. Had a headache. (That’s one of the signs.) I had never seen him look so bad, being as he played golf every day of his life.

Not much later, he started having mini strokes. One day, I walked into the kitchen and he was on the floor, and I said, “Dad, what are you doing on the floor?”

“I’m getting the dog food.” He said, eyes wide open. I knew this was BS. When he went to sit down, he kept pulling his arm up to his chest and back down again. Up, down. Up down. Uh…okay. that’s not normal.

So I drove him to a local Urgent Care. It was a Friday night.

“Take him to a neurologist on Monday.” said the doctor on call. Even I knew something was wrong.Yeah, thanks doc…got a hot date?

“Mom…we need to get him to a hospital.” I told my mom when we got home. So my mother called my older brother, who suggested we drive all the way downtown St. Louis to a hospital that was 2 minutes from his house.

“I’ll be close to him, and I can watch him.” said my brother.

So, we put him in the car, while he kept moving his arm up and down, and drove the 45 minutes…to be by my brother. The hospital didn’t even look at him. They just put him into a bed in a room full of people and he laid in that room until the doctors came back on Monday. That of course, was when the damage was down. My father’s brain hemorraged so badly Saturday AND Sunday, and filled his brain was filled with so much blood-they could never see what caused the stroke…ever. It was impossible.

Anyway, during this time, my mother ran a Union printing shop downtown St. Louis, and since my father no longer was there to drive her to work, I did. It was a 45 minute drive one way. The hospital was about 15 minutes from there.

My poor mom: never in her life did she see this coming. After all, she worked, he played golf. He was NOT suppose to have a stroke, and leave her on her own. How many women go through this?

You can only guess.

Every day I drove my mom…to work, and back, until she started driving herself through dangerous black neighborhoods. Sometimes I would drive her… and go back down another 45 minutes to the hospital, to see him. My poor mother, never expected this to happen. She had a company to run. And then a paralyzed husband who was bascially going to die, and who was also out of his mind.

Most days I would drive down to see him. He had a room…he would cry alot, from brain damage. But I remember one day, one very special day in my life, I walked into his room, (this was before the real damage was done) and he smiled and said, “You look so pretty today.”

This is me, about 25, I look conceited don’t I? FAR From it. Don’t judge women by their looks. Really. This was my Farah Fawcett imatation look. LOL…Yeah, I know. Try sitting on a tire. When I looked in the mirror all I saw was “How the HELL am I going to EVER fix this?” Truly, I still do that.

That was the first time in my whole life that my father said a word about me at all. He never said I was looking nice…never. He did tell my mother once, who always told me to ‘stop laughing’ because I had buck teeth as a child, he said to her, “Let her laugh!” I loved my dad for that. Inside, I think I knew he loved me…but a pact was made when I was young, and he made it for my mom…whatever happened after that ‘event’ was profound. They never talked about it.

But to have your dad, FINALLY notice you? I loved him that day, brain damaged or not. He finally noticed me even though, inside I was that ugly little girl. That day, was one of the best days of my life. Remember that: Kids are sponges and how you treat them can cause them great pain throughout life. Sad

Sadly, I married a man who never told me I looked pretty either. Sometimes we marry what we know right? No amount of makeup can hide what you really think inside. And god KNOWS I tried to master makeup.

Anyway, that guy on the radio program took me to that moment..that memory.

Now, about strokes. I watch my father lose his mind VERY slowly. First he couldn’t walk, but he was still thinking. And talking. THEN, they stuck a needle in his brain, and he lost all control of his mind. He started hallucinating. And he KNEW he was going crazy, which drove him even more mad. I took care of him during the day, and night. They finally decided that a tumor had grown into the back of his head, and when it got big enough, it would cut off his breath. But this happened years later. Sadly.

So the day he died, the paramedics were trying to bring him back, and my mother and I kept saying..it’s okay…let him go. We knew…it was his time.

Both my parents had strokes. In fact it runs in the family, all the way back to JQA having a stroke on the floor of the Congress. Don’t ask me why. But my father’s stroke and my mothers were both very different.

The human brain is amazing.

My mother was smart until she died. Her brain was all there, she just could not walk or talk. In a way, her stroke was more unbearable. She was on a stomach feeding tube also.

During the time I took care of both of them, I was aware of even then, the state of our hospitals, and doctors, and how the horror show is for the families of the elder that go into these places. I saw so many mistakes, that if I wrote a book, even Stephen King could not imagine it.

But, it’s mostly about the old. IF you are over 60, it’s the rule: You ARE expendable. We saw this during Covid, and the main reason? Too many old people drawing on a Social Security ponzi scam that is already bankrupt.

And as we look at America’s hospital systems, while some come out with great care, many do not. This isn’t like Elon Musk going to save millions of lives with his Tesla’s (which he will)–we need an overhaul of our medical systems. As I’ve said before, Grok should be put in every Nurses station. Doctors should be made to work at least one weekend day a month. The old should be treated with the same respect as the young, and giving the same care.

It’s not like that anymore. The hospitals, because of Obamacare and the millions of illegals using it for their free care, are overloaded. The old are the ones who pay for it.

If you are over 60…do everything you can to protect your health.

We are…a sick nation. And this has NOT just happened. In the end, it’s always, follow the money, isn’t it?

What’s the point here?

Well, FIRST, always question your care at any hospital. Always.

Second: Don’t judge your parents…find out about WHY they don’t give you the love you needed if they didn’t..then forgive them…the brain is a mystery still. Memories are long surpressed but your brain when young can put you into your life..and your proclivities, whether bad or good.

I always was trying to look better. It didn’t matter how much makeup I put on…in fact, many told me to take it off. but childhood memories always stay.

I’m getting better with snap chat…(LOL) I pretend that’s me. Or was me.

And one more thing…remember my brother? He never went the whole six months my father was in that hospital all of…I think he spent about 30 minutes total. That’s it. Think of the hardship both my mother and I could have saved if we had took him to a hospital near us.

Well, that’s another blog.

So, if you have ever had family member who had a stroke, remember each brain is different, and getting them to a hospital as fast as possible is key. If they are older…you must push for them. Don’t settle for getting pushed aside because some thug got shot in a robbery and they were black, and they get first shot at care.

Because that’s the truth. To the hospitals, it’s all about age. And WOKENESS.

Take it from me, I spent YEARS living with stroke victims. And I don’t regret a minute of it.

And someday, Neurolink will fix those brains, but until then, stay healthy.

Just sayin. Don’t mess around with your brain.

May 25, 2025 Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized | Leave a comment