Joyanna Adams

DAD: It Only Takes a Moment or Two

Nobody’s Opinion

Yesterday, I was at rock bottom…truly. I had been in a depression on and off for three years. I really didn’t think I could stand another day. I am alone most of the time, marriage of 33 years being hard to resurrect, (If ever) and not getting much done…not wanting to even get out of bed.

I’d been there before, when I was 19. I was a drummer, and worked every night with these two other guys at a honky tonk…6 nights a week. My dad would get me out of bed, make me brush my teeth, I’d get dress, and he’d drive me to the job, a good 35 minutes away, in Illinois. Then, at one o’clock pm…he’d come pick me up. We didn’t talk much. He knew how bad I was. But, I managed to do my job, every night, I just could not function during the day.

The thing is, I remember how tough that must have been for my dad…because he had to get up at 6am and drive mom to work the next day. He NEVER complained. While my dad never talked to me much at all during my life, or ever spend time with me, whenever I truly was in trouble, for ANY reason. He was there. Never let me down.

I remember once, during a summer, I decided one hot summy day, to go swim in the Quiver River. It was a good 2 hour drive one way. When I got there, by an old Mill, with a small waterfall, I was so excited that I locked my car, RAN and jumped into the river….AAAANNNNDD… you guess it. I dropped the car keys into the river…a fast flowing river. Sure I searched, but the river bottom was all rock.

All I had on…was my bathing suit. Talk about feeling STUPID.

There were NO other people around, but I knew that my dad’s mom, my grandmother who I never saw, lived about 5 miles away. As I started walking the poorly paved country road, a man picked me up. He was about 25…red hair…seemed nice, but I was a bit…yeah scared. Especially when he put his hand on my bare thigh. And started talking sweet. I have a method I have used: Whenever cornered by a (Possible rape) I start talking, and smiling, and acting as if THEY will do nothing and I trust them, because they are good guys, and I become…like a sister.

Now, I know that sounds strange, but it’s worked for me, many times.

So, we get to my grandma’s house and the first thing she says to me is “I KNOW your mother beats you!“

Well,…I was 18…I had not seen that grandmother in YEARS. “It’s been a while grandma…What gave you THAT idea?” And I laughed. I was just glad to call my dad….grandma was Polish, and my mother told me grandpa PAID young men to come and take care of her. (Was this true? LOL) Why I say this now is just too funny. Clearly, my dad’s mom and my mother did not like each other, although my mom never talked against her.

Anyway, my dad who drove the 2 hours to take me back to my car, he helped me get into my purple Duster and I followed him home.

Here’s the thing. He didn’t berate me, he didn’t yell at me, he just kind of laughed. He said, “What did you do? Drop your keys? With a big smile.” I guess he had also done some stupid thing in his life, although he never told me.

The reason I’m telling you this story is because this morning, I got a few messages that lifted my heart, from a dear friend, and I cleaned out my drawers and found a bathing suit that didn’t fit me…it was brand new…so I took it to the neighbor’s house who was about the right size for it, and gave it to her…

Now, she has a boy about 5, and he grabbed my hand, and showed me EVERY SINGLE truck, toy, doll, the cat,..we had to open the fridge to see the food, every kitchen drawer…the pots and pans…yes, he showed me the whole house..in his own language which only he and I know. Clearly, this was HIS house, his parents were just living there to feed him.

He calls me Jackson, the name of my dog who was not with me. ( I sort of like that) I had so much fun with this kid that the parents were following us room to room going…“WHAT ??????? He never does this.”

I became a five year old…for just a half hour, and looked at the world again from his viewpoint. I gave him a big kiss goodbye, and then made him kiss his mother…and yeah, I got love.

Was that God helping me?

So my question is…somebody on this earth said a prayer for me, and I want to thank you…I’m not as bad tonight…I was loved by a friend, and a very small tornado of a boy who showed me his whole house and every toy in it. I am monster trucked to the moon.

What I want to say is, even though my father was hardly ever in my life daily, in fact, never at all, I will never forget the times that he came to rescue me, when I needed someone the most. That was the lesson he taught me that I have NEVER forgotten: If you love somebody, and they NEED you…just be there for them. I’m sure that’s why I took care of both my parents when they had massive strokes.

I am…the caretaker.

So… in that respect: Thanks DAD… I love you….and I hope the golf courses where ever you are…still challange you and make you happy, and you are hitting hole in ones at least a few times a week.

And don’t worry dads, if you have to work, it’s okay. Even a kid who raises themselves, and never gets much of a chance to visit with you. (Like I did) …will love you and turn out okay..just remember…to be there when they need you the most. Because only a dad can protect his child.

Moms do okay, they do what they can, and dad’s can’t always be there, but just be there…when real trouble hits…and it will…when you can. And remember, none of us are perfect. But Dad’s? They can teach you the MOST important lessons of your life, and you don’t even know at the time they are doing it, just how much it will effect you..forever. I lived by that lesson all my life.

When someone is in trouble, if you love them, you are there.

Youe children will NOT forget Dad. They will always love you in the end.

And thanks whoever said a prayer for me. Thank you…You were my dad for a most sorrowful day, and trust me, I needed one.

And by the way…if you run 8 companies (Like Elon Musk) and can’t find time to take care of ALL those kids: remember, I’d tell them,”Humanity is in trouble, and Daddy has to take care of humanity, and I will teach YOU how to do it someday too..and you will be able to help me. But right now..go play while you can, and go eat candy WHILE YOU CAN…and play video games WHILE YOU CAN. BECAUSE when you grow up, you won’t have the time..ENJOY BEING A KID!

Sorry, I got carried away.

August 10, 2025 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized