Nobody’s Perfect: The Charlie Sheen Interview You DIDN’T See…
Nobody’s Perfect:
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Lance: Hey Charlie, you’re a big hit here man…all the inmates love ya, bro.
Charlie: I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front Lance, thanks.
Lance: So, the guys here want to know if your show, “Two and a Half men” is about two guys and a dwarf…they don’t let us watch it here.
Charlie: I’m proud of what I created. Why wouldn’t I be? I exposed people to magic. I expose them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them! That sucks man, that they won’t let you watch the Tiger Warlock in action man…really.
Lance: Yeah, it’s pretty boring here. Sometimes it’s so boring you just want to die, know what I mean? Hey Charlie, can you send me some of your magic whatever…got any cobics? Maharishi? Chocolate chips?
Charlie: Dying is for fools. Amateurs.
Lance: Well, I miss my drugs man…you think you could score me some?
Charlie: I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. GO! I’m different, I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.
Lance: Wow…tiger blood, I had some of that stuff once…I had a hard time walking.
Charlie: Shutup! Hey, I’m clean. I can’t help you out there Lance. I am on a drug, it’s called ‘Charlie Sheen.’ It’s not available cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body.
Lance: Wow man…that doesn’t sound too good. Haven’t you got anything else? Purple Haze? I wanna coast…you know what I mean?
Charlie: Yeah, I mean what’s not to love about me Lance? Especially when you see how I party. Man it was epic. That run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of ’em just look like droopy-eyed aimless children.
Lance: I once had some stuff with another Charlie ..he was real strange man. He kept talking in crazy rants, kept saying things like “Helter Skelter.” over and over again. Did you ever party with Charlie, Charlie?
Charlie: DUH! Yeah, probably… I think that’s where I first heard, “I’ve got poetry at my fingertip.” Charlie used to say that. I’m still alive, which is pretty cool. I got rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber. But I’m dealing with fools and trolls, out here Lance. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear.
Lance: That’s not good man.
Charlie: Hey Lance, It’s been a tsunami. And I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.
Lance: Well hell, man, why don’t you hook me up with some of that Charlie Sheen stuff?
Charlie: I can’t man., you borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like “Dude, can’t handle it! Unplug this bastard!”..it fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm.
Lance; I could use some new underwear– Charlie, in fact, you could send me some…you know what I mean? Score some of that terrestrial realm stuff for me bro. Just fold it over.
Charlie: Score, like in win? We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.”
Lance: Charlie, you’re a real lumberjack, you know?
Charlie: Thanks bro. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out, they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain. People who aren’t special. People who don’t’ have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. You must be special Lance.
Lance: Yeah, I love ya man. After I saw that cool tatoo you got, I went out and got one too.
Charlie: Shut up! What’s it say?
Lance: Lick me
Charlie: That’s cool man. Shut up! You know why I can say that? Because I’ve a 10,000 year old brain and the boogers of a 7-year- old. I’ve got poetry at my fingertips. Lick me. Love it.
Hey, gotta go Lance…my goddess’ are WINNING!
Lance..Okay…keep on winning bro! Bye.
***
Lance gets out in sixty days, in case there are any lumberjacks out there who might want to catch up with him. Lance wins the Nobody’s Perfect contest for this week, because Charlie Sheen, as the whole world now knows…is perfect. …..DUH.
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About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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Joyanna Adams 
With a bit of luck and a fair wind, you will be rid of Charlie soon. Our Gloriana Julia has discovered that dispersing Taxpayers’ money to Hollywood boguns gets her invited to meet the Prefident and play football with him. (It matters not that Obama doesn’t play Ozzie Rules, as Gloriana only kicks balls attached to men).
So, having spent $43 million Oz-folks money to get Oprah and 300 women to come over, she is thinking of using the Gender Equality Act to get Charlie and his sidekicks over next. 2 1/2 Men : 301 women is par for the course.
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She spent $45 million to get Oprah? OMG. The world has gone mad.
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Webtv shows your main blog site as a black(void?) field with yellow print.The wordpress email is white with blue print. Could just be webtv(ancient tech). Tygrrr’s site is the same.Sorry for the trouble. You could always sue Bill Gates for buying and wrecking webtv.lol. Microsoft is not a monopoly,it is just misunderstood.
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Joyanna-
For business reasons,I will not be commenting as often here or on Powers for awhile.Your blog is great fun. My only critiques are to update the blogroll and reconsider the black background for a white one like the email.The pics and colors otherwise,work well.
Best of success to you and your sled team.lol.
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Thanks Rick…I’m sure Mr. Powers, as I will miss all your comments….intelligent..and right on point.
One question..help me out. do you see this all in Black?
It’s white here in Missouri. Should I sue somebody?
And yes, I will be fixing up the site as I get time…thanks for all your support and thoughts.
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LOL.Too much.Nobody can win on Tiger’s Blood(after shave?).
Charlie Sheen is rapidly moving past our imaginations.Last clip I saw,he was brandishing a “saber”,yelling from the yard arms.
The End will come when he soberly realizes that he gave up a multi-million dollar per week job.What recession???
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Joyanna, all I can say is, “You be way out there, Hon !”
As I`ve heard, no matter where you go, there you are ! So if I happen to find you, I`ll give you a shout, you can come git your bad self !
Just so you know, I only read your Charlie story because it`s you ! I don`t give a big hairy rat`s McCain about him !
4 out of 5 stars for originality !!
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Well, I do Nobody’s Perfect column on Tuesday/Wednesday and pick someone that is on everybody minds during the week as being the big “goof”
Obama holds the position for making it on the list the most.
And like You, I’m tired of Charlie Sheen.
Have you noticed whenever something REALLY big is going on we get some story on entertainers?
It happens too often to be a coincidence.
So, thanks Signpainter Guy! I promise…no more of him. I’m with you.
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