Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody Flashes “The Most Wonderful Time In Eight Years!”

Nobody Flashes

Some GOOD cheer from me for a change.

Enjoy!

Won’t be long before Christmas is here. I actually bought a turkey today.

 

 

November 3, 2017 Posted by | humor | , , | Leave a comment

There ARE No Fools at Kevin’s Corner


Nobody’s Fool

Here’s one of the BEST rants you will ever hear on why Hillary Clinton lost. Really, he made all the same points that most of America was thinking…

If you don’t know about Kevin…you should. What’s even better is that you can believe that the democratic party is seeing more blacks seeing through their BS and making video’s laying out the truth, and THAT’S why they keep pushing the “race” card in our face every day.

But have heart, good men like Kevin are coming through for us, and he has a great sense of humor.

And one more thing…Kevin has some really great tee-shirts at Kevin’s cornerI’m going to get myself one.

So, Congratulations Kevin! You win the Nobody’s Fool Award for the week…

Let’s hope Hillary Clinton gets to see your video.

That would make MY week.

Enjoy everybody!

October 23, 2017 Posted by | Hillary | , , , | 1 Comment

Three Stooges of Liberal Logic

Nobody Flashes

This is just TOO funny. Listen to three liberal women discussing the recent finding that if the frontal lobes of the brain are damaged, then more than likely you will NOT believe in God, and will love immigrants.

If your frontal lobes are developed, you are more likely to be religious, and will not exactly appreciate immigrants taking over your country.

To hear them trying to figure out how to twist the meaning of this study to make themselves feel better is, to this nobody, hilarious.

Enjoy.

October 21, 2017 Posted by | Religion | , | 3 Comments

Nobody Could Solve the Problem With a Little Bit of Humor

Nobody Flashes

Okay, I have it. I have a way to solve this whole ugly, messy, nasty, fight between the black football players and their VERY angry followers.

BEFORE the National Anthem is played, they could all come out and kneel, then stand up, and this song should be blasted throughout the stadium.

And THEN, those same football players could, grab each other shoulders, line up, and do this Greek Dance…to Zorba the Greek.

Wouldn’t that simply be hilarious? Wouldn’t that make you just want to forgive them?

Okay. So that will never happen. But in a sane world, if this Nobody owned a football team, I would tell the players they would have to do this ( as a form of asking forgiveness for being such idiots) or else they wouldn’t get paid.

Pretty simple. If they refuse, then, let them get a lawyer.

Go ahead, picture it in your mind…good idea huh?

All nonsense aside, I grew up on Herb Alpert, simply because my brother was a professional trumpet player, and every Christmas he would buy ME a Herb Alpert album.

Right. Just what I wanted. But, I had to admit looking back, the guy truly was a talent.

Zorba the Greek. I wonder, if the Greeks still dance to this?

Enjoy…and feel free to give it a try next time you celebrate…..anything that looks like America has gone back to sanity.

(Might be a while.)

September 29, 2017 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

You Don’t Even NEED to Brush Your Teeth Today

Nobody Flashes

Well…according to about 30 YouTube video’s Nostradamus, NASA, the Bible, Jesus, Michio Kaku, TODAY, will be our last day on the planet. (Well, maybe.)

The earth will be hit by planet Nibiru and there you go. We won’t have to hear the shrill voice of Hillary Clinton ever again.

It seems the elites that knew this, didn’t want to panic us, so they just gave us hints in movies.

Today, September 23, 2017, will be our last day on earth.

Hopefully, I can wash my car first, and it waits until after lunch.

I’d  HATE to die on an empty stomach.

 

September 22, 2017 Posted by | absurd, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

The Festering Pus of a Sore Loser: Hillary Clinton

 

Nobody’s Perfect:

Sigh.

Believe me, the LAST subject on the planet I wanted to bring up again this week was the inflatable ego of Hillary Clinton, but like a big boil filled with festering pus, she just WON’T go away.

Some fool should just go ahead and put Hillary’s face and head on a big hot air balloon, and put her in the basket, where she could wave and throw copies of her book down on San Diego.

I’d like it.

Who knows WHY she won’t stay away? Hillary is now trying to convince the world that: Yes, we should just hand over the Presidency to her, because she won the popular vote.

She wrote her book, to get herself back on TV. It’s called: “What happened.” The people in the toilet paper section at Cusco looked pretty excited about it.

Okay. So, Russia knows how to get on Facebook.

So do most 5 year olds.

In the last few days, Hillary has taken the boat to “What’s a matta U? Why am I NOT in the White House you swines!!” to a whole new level of idiotocracy:

Here’s a few things she said:

Hillary on Trump: Whatever he’s doing and whatever he thinks is happening he will accuse somebody else of. And there are examples during the campaign when he did just that, like when he called publicly on Russia to hack my personal emails.

Nobody: Hillary is the QUEEN of blaming everybody else for doing exactly what she is doing. That’s right out of the democratic Alinsky playbook…like trying to convince the world that Trump colluded with Russia, when she sold U.S. uranium to Putin, (while making a few million) and her cohort in crime, Podesta, made MILLIONS with the Russians. But, that’s legal.
Trump’s line about Russia was a joke. Pretty lame Hillary.

Hillary: if I had lost the popular vote but won the electoral college, and in my first day as president, the intelligence community came to me and said, “The Russians influenced the election,” I would’ve never stood for it. Even though it might’ve advantaged me, I would’ve said, “We’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” I would’ve set up an independent commission with subpoena power and everything else.

Nobody: If you believe that Hillary Clinton would have handed over her win to Donald J. Trump just because the “Russians” influenced the election, then obviously, you have no clue where America is on the map, and you are sitting on some deserted island, smoking banana with cheese and thinking that Bob Marley is still alive.

Hillary: So what happened in Kenya, which I’m only beginning to delve into, is that the Supreme Court there said there are so many really unanswered and problematic questions, we’re going to throw the election out and re-do it. We have no such provision in our country. And usually we don’t need it,” Hillary stated.

Nobody: Hillary wants to throw out our Constitution and follow Kenya’s great laws.

You want to just throw out the election and step back into the White House honey? What? Do you miss being able to boss thousands of White House Servants around. Do you miss your séances with Eleanor?

Won’t Eleanor come to your house?

Hey, go run for office in Kenya!

Hillary: Now, I do believe we should abolish the Electoral College, because I was sitting listening to a report on the French election and the French political analyst said, ‘You know in our country the person with the most votes wins, unlike in yours.’ And I think that’s an anachronism. I’ve said that since 2000.”

Nobody: Right. Hillary won by illegals voting in Southern California, and the Mafia fixing in New York…and the voting fraud was overwhelming. I don’t believe she won the popular vote, simply because, she lies…all the time. A recount, if it didn’t cost us so much, would be a good thing…we’d find out that she probably lost.

Hillary: “You know, every time Donald thinks things are not going in his direction, he claims whatever it is, is rigged against him,”

Nobody: Says the woman who is saying at this very moment the whole thing was rigged against her by Trump, the Russians, Obama, Bernie Sanders, men in little green suits, conservative white women, and dogs without borders. By the way, she actually DID rig the democratic election.

Hillary: “We’ve been around for 240 years. We’ve had free and fair elections. We’ve accepted the outcomes when we may not have liked them. And that is what must be expected of anyone standing on a debate stage during a general election.”

Nobody: WAIT! Before you think that she has come to her senses, she was talking about TRUMP not saying he would accept the election.

That right there, shows that she really is off her rocker. Send her over to Rocket man. Go ahead Hillary— Show us your talent. Jimmy Carter talked to Kim Jung Ho Ho, why can’t you?

In the end, Hillary hinted that if Mueller found ‘possible’ Russian collusion with Trump, she would demand to be anointed President.

We’d all be made to bow down to the new Queen.

And if HILLARY Clinton was President, the only way you would get her out of the White House is if the nobody picked her up off the floor some night, but just let her lay there.

Hillary Clinton is the biggest sore loser since….well…I can’t think of one.

So, let’s give her that: Hillary: The biggest sore loser in History.

I suggest we replace her picture in the White House with Monika’s.

It’s the least we can do.

September 18, 2017 Posted by | American History, Hillary, Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

P.T.S.D.: Post Trump Sex Disorder and How to Cure it.

Nobody Wonders

You might wonder: Joyanna, how can you be so…weird? Where do you come up with some of these wild conspiracies?

If you must know,  I make it a point to read every day, and I make it a point to read a wide variety. I read in the morning, in the bathroom, in my office, online, in the car, in my bed, sitting at the doctor’s office, dental chairs, billboard signs, etc.. I read so much I’m surprised my eyeballs haven’t got permanent type marks engraved on my eyeballs.

I thought I was the only nut who did this, until I read that Alvin Toffler, the grand master of progressive social engineering, the author of “Future Shock”… said he did the same thing…. only he only read various world newspapers every day. (Boring)

What have I learned? Enough to know that the printing world has been taken over by demons.

It doesn’t matter what you read nowadays, or where you read it. It could be in a cooking book, a book on space, how to clean out your closet….no matter:  it’s all about trashing President Trump.

For instance, the editor of Vanity Fair, Graydon Carter, is single-handily the most vicious attacker in print. He makes Time Magazine look like Readers Digest in big print, when it comes to the subject of Trump.

And since Trump announced his candidacy, Carter has been on a rampage of rancor against the President and everyone in his administration.

He hates him.

Here’s a sample from one of his editorials:

“His presidency is effectively doomed…it’s only a question now of how and when it will end. Treason? Impeachment? Incapacity? Until that day, you should be forgiven if you think you are suffering from extreme, full blown P.T.S.D. President Trump Stress Disorder. You are not alone.”

You know, nobody thought he would win, so sorry Carter, you lost.

Still, I was surprised when I was flipping through Cosmopolitan Magazine, and discovered how the editors there were concerned about P.T.S.D.

In Cosmo’s P.T.S.D —stress becomes ‘sex’. And according to Cosmo, there seems to be less sex happening all over the United States:

Are you, dear girl, not feeling the urge? Here’s their answer:

“Could it be PTSD? But not the kind you’re thinking of: If you haven’t been suffering from Post Trump Sex Disorder. It’s a sudden and swift aversion to sex caused by the anger, fear, and confusion you’re absorbing from the current political climate.”

How does Cosmos solve this problem? (Let’s ask Hillary!) They say: All you need to do to conquer this lack of sexual interest is to go and protest.

“Protests are powerful…and they can be a great aphrodisiac”

Who knew?

Yes, the liberals are telling kids if they go to protests against that horrible President, they might feel the desire to get laid, and then they will feel better. I was waiting for them to suggest having sex on a cop car, or instead of throwing pee in bottles they could throw wads of condoms and dildos.

Too bad. They didn’t give details.

But Joyanna, you say….These are liberal magazines, what do you expect? Especially when the next page they ask, “ I know I’m supposed to pee after sex, but what about after using my vibrator?”

(I say, dip your vibrator in glue, or better yet, hot sauce mixed with glue.)

Good god. If you even need a vibrator, then obviously, you are not protesting in the right place.

Try Berkeley. You might get lucky and run into Bill Ayers. The sex could be explosive!  In fact, I suggest you go up to him and say, “Are you glad to see me, or is that an explosive in your pocket?” (sorry)

Anyway, back to Greydon. Carter. 

One of the things that annoys Carter is the fact that when Trump stands up…he does NOT button his suit. Why…every man with any class and intelligence KNOWS that you MUST button your suit upon standing, or else…you are…a moron and not worthy.

As I wondered how Carter could even CLAIM to be an intellectual after complaining in his editorial about the horrible sin that President Trump does not button his suit, being as that makes him sound like a petty jealous girly moron about the age of 14, I came upon THIS in AARP:

A little smidgen about ties on page 9, AARP’s latest issue:

TIE VOTE: No doubt, our new president defies convention to politics. But also in fashion. Some detractors have noted this refusal to follow the modern norms of tie length. President Trump likes to wear them an inch or more below the belt. “We propose an amendment.”

Gee..AARP is sorely concerned that Trump’s tie is too long.

All this complaining from liberal dip wads makes me want to put on a suit, with a man’s tie hanging down to my knees, and take a picture of myself, a vibrator in one hand, sitting on the toilet with anti-bacterial lotion in the other, with a sign behind me that says:

THIS is how you cure your ugly ass, and finally get laid! 

(And these people call themselves intellectuals.)

Here’s the good news: Graydon Carter just quit. Why? He didn’t want to have to fire people, because Vanity Fair has to downsize due to the fact that readership has fallen off the planet.

AARP? They were the ones who pushed Obamacare in the first place. Thanks a lot AARP. Really, now about more articles on HOW TO GET RID OF IT!!!

This really is a shock. I’m sorry. I know it’s been going on for a long time but… REALLY? They have to label the hatred of the President with P.D.S.T, and make it sound like a venereal disease— and THEN spread it around the publishing universe?

Very Clever.

That’s why I’m going to my own protest: I’ve got an old copy of Huckleberry Finn. I’m going to take it down off the shelf, and READ it.

And after reading that, I plan to have REAL sex.

Don’t tell the kids.

September 12, 2017 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Flashes Email: Because I Need a Break from the News

Nobody Gets Email

I can’t help it…I posted this because of the oxygen question….and wouldn’t you like to know who does this in the shower?

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Kris)


THOUGHTS FROM THE SHOWER

  • If you attempt to rob a bank you won’t have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.
  • Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

  • What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

  • If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

  • Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?

  • Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn’t it be called double V?

  • Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

  • Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty

  • The word “swims” upside-down is still “swims.”

  • Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

  • 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

  • Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

  • The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.

  • If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.

  • Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

  • If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

  • If 2/2/22 falls on a Tuesday, we’ll just call it “2’s Day.” (It does fall on a Tuesday)-

 

July 28, 2017 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

It Starts….EARLY

Nobody Flashes

I don’t care who you are, this sums up the differences between the sexes perfectly.

This kid will have that same look on his face when he’s 74. Is he confused by the fact that they look-alike?

Or because one is crying and one is not?

Or because he feels like he’s just been put between two aliens species?

Or because he has no CLUE what to do?

I love it.

Enjoy!

July 21, 2017 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 1 Comment

CNN: Making our Day!

Nobody Flashes

When CNN went after the poor kid who made the video of CNN and Trump, trying to silence his free speech…

I bet they never imagined what would happen.

Now they know. And don’t you wonder what all the liberals who made all these movies are thinking about all this?

Ha ha!

Enjoy!

July 15, 2017 Posted by | humor | , | Leave a comment

America Attacks CNN BACK

Nobody Flashes

One day after Independence Day, and I’ve taken a day off, due to a bad cold. So, since this is going around the internet, I am posting it here, because it’s just so fun.

Enjoy!

July 5, 2017 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: North Korea Super Heroes

Nobody Gets Email

Here’s a picture you don’t see often….I thought this was funny.

(Thanks to Kris)


North Korea Super Heroes

These guys are tough. I don’t remember any wars they’ve had in over 60 years, so these medals must be for heroism in marching, posturing, kissing butt, clapping and dancing!.
These North Korean officers could easily be defeated with a giant magnet …

June 30, 2017 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

The Tale of One Happy Lizard

 

Nobody Gets Email

It’s been awhile since I got any jokes…but here’s one that I liked mostly because it seems to reflect a typical married couple, and it’s too strange NOT to be true.

Enjoy.

(Thanks to Tom Beebe)


In case you ever think Facebook isn’t worth it:

Billy Rice

Here’s what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad . Can you help?”

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

“Honey,” I called, “come look at the lizard!”

“Oh, my gosh!” my wife exclaimed. “She’s having babies.”

“What?” my son demanded. “But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!”

I was equally outraged.

“Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn’t want them to reproduce,” I said accusingly to my wife.

“Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage? “she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!).

“No, but you were supposed to get two boys!” I reminded her (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

“Yeah, Bert and Ernie!” my son agreed.

“Well, it’s just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know!” she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

“Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience,” I announced. “We’re about to witness the miracle of birth.”

“Oh, gross!” they shrieked.

“Well, isn’t THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?” my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

“We don’t appear to be making much progress,” I noted.

“It’s breech,” my wife whispered, horrified.

“Do something, Dad!” my son urged.

“Okay, okay.” Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

“Should I call 911?” my eldest daughter wanted to know. “Maybe they could talk us through the trauma.” (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

“Let’s get Ernie to the vet,” I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

“Breathe, Ernie, breathe,” he urged.

“I don’t think lizards do Lamaze,” his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for G~d’s sake.).

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

“What do you think, Doc, a C-section?” I suggested scientifically.

“Oh, very interesting,” he murmured. “Mr. and Mrs.. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?”

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

“Is Ernie going to be okay?” my wife asked.

“Oh, perfectly,” the vet assured us. ‘This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn’t EVER going to happen.

Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And, occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um…um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back.” He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

“So, Ernie’s just…just…excited?”, my wife offered.

“Exactly,” the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

“What’s so funny?” I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. “It’s just…that…I’m picturing you pulling on its…its…teeny little…”

She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

“That’s enough,” I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

“I know Ernie’s really thankful for what you did, Dad.” he told me.

“Oh, you have NO idea,” my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140.

One cage: $50.

Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard’s winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs!

June 23, 2017 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Perfect: Natwiana Clark

Nobody’s Perfect

This week, we have a perfect example of one of the reasons WHY we are trillions in debt.

Natwiana Clark, a government worker in Gainesville, FL, decided that, she deserved a Brazilian Butt lift, courtesy of the American taxpayer…

Via Breitbart:

 A woman who worked for the city of Gainesville, Florida, allegedly stole more than $93,000 in city funds and used the money to pay for a Brazilian butt lift as well as other purchases, according to a report.

The report also found that Clark, a former city staff specialist, used her credit card issued by the city 136 times for $61,000 in unauthorized charges, charged her supervisors’ credit cards 36 times for $31,000, and charged $500 to a coworker’s card that she used five times.

An auditor for the city said that Gainesville’s parks department did not provide much oversight over the 15 months the purchases were made, making it easy for someone to steal the funds.

You see, Natwiana was not happy with the $33,000 she was making a year…so she just used government credit cards to buy a sweet life to go along with her sweet new big butt.

If you think that Natwaina is a rare example of ‘looting’, think again.

The government is filled with petty thieves, and most of them don’t get caught. They book themselves Hawaiian vacations every year, ‘business trips’, strip bars, and pay their bills with the taxpayer’s money.

Who KNOWS how many butt and boob jobs we have paid for?

And I hate to say this, but the blacks know more about scamming the system than most whites. Yes, they keep their scamming a BIG secret. Ask any black woman how she managed to get disability, food stamps, free housing and free healthcare, (and I have) and she will just smile at you. Here in St. Louis, most of the people who are handing out these government freebies things ARE black. You think they don’t use their prejudice against white people to refuse them the same thing they freely give to other blacks?

Obama would say: It’s a tribal thing.

Here in North St. Louis, the black schools were SO Bad, they had to close them down. You see, the administrators were making huge salaries, and no money was going to the students, and the all black teachers really didn’t care, because they were going on big vacations, and the kids couldn’t pass any tests at all.

They closed the schools down.

They had to BUS the black kids to white schools where white people lived, and their kids had to give up a lot in order to fulfill the needs of the many black kids coming in.

It’s a big problem, and continues to be. But it’s not just the black government workers that steal….oh no. Just observe Congress.

Take Harry Reid for example. Or John McCain. They can buy just about anything or anybody.

All over the country, white AND black people, who work for the government, give themselves big bonuses, and get credit cards…it’s done everywhere.

So, Congratulations Natwaina! You win the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week, for thinking that nobody would notice that your boyfriend wasn’t making THAT much money. In case you haven’t noticed…there’s IS a new sheriff in town.

But don’t worry Natwaina. No doubt, that Brazilian butt lift will come in handy in prison. Nobody is going to mess with you.

All you will have to do is threatened to sit on them.

June 19, 2017 Posted by | corruption, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

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