Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Lady Nancy ‘Tinker Penguin Poop’ Pelosi!

Nobody Cares

On the Drudge Report tonight, the news was that it has been discovered that over 1.5 MILLION penguins were found in Antarctica. Nobody knew they were there, and they’ve been there since even before Nancy Pelosi was born, some 3,000 years ago, more or less.

How did they stay hidden for so long and how did they find them?

The satellite picked up…pink penguin poop. 

When I read this I instantly thought of Tinker House Speaker, Nancy ‘Tinker’ Pelosi, who from now on will be known in my mind as Lady Nancy Tinker Penguin Poop Pelosi.

Or just Poop for short.

Really. If anybody reminds me of a big wad of penguin poop, it’s Nancy Pelosi.

Nobody Cares if I just make some fun of her…do they?

Good! The penguins say, “Hey, that’s not MY poop!”

…”Let’s Get Out of here…Too much Pelosi poop!” 


December 12, 2018 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Animals in the Sky: Faces on Bumper Cars..Nobody Cares

Nobody Cares

Are you like me, searching daily for ANY kind of good news?

Well…here’s one: Somebody’s airline in some other country decided to make their “jets” more fun! It’s called the Embraer E190-E2 aircraft…there’s a competition going on and as we all know, competition makes the BEST stuff for everyone

This means the new E2 jets will surprise passengers in the States with more spacious interiors, larger overhead bins, and that “new airplane smell” US regional jets lost long ago — albeit not until 2021 when the first E175-E2 orders are scheduled for delivery. FlightGlobal reports that Embraer has also highlighted Alaska Airlines, Spirit and United as the US carriers most likely to benefit from replacing some of their current narrow-body fleet with E2 jets.

Finally, entertainment at the end of your body cavity search!

Personally, I like the shark…wait…no…

Okay. The Tiger….Wait…the Eagle…pretty cool…

Hey, lots of room? New airplane smell? Bigger Windows? Let me on!

Okay. This gives me an idea. How about we paint some of these faces on the front of some bumper cars, and put them out all over the country at all the county fairs next summer?

Let us poor nobodies have some fun.

Just think of it, Hillary could bang into Bill’s face. Obama could go head on with Podesta.

The kids could learn a thing or too since the schools aren’t teaching them, who you should REALLY bump heads with.

“Mommy, who are YOU?”

“Sweetie, I’m “Obama”. This might just be the only place in the universe where you can smash my face and NOT be considered a racist.”

Okay, so you would be called a racist, bigot, and the democrats would want to smash republican faces.

So be it. Let’s take our anger out at all our politicians in the bumper car political arena! 

I can see me wanting to bump into Paul Ryan’s smirk, or John McCain’s snarling face, head on.

Sound like fun? I WAS going to write about Obama trashing the President today with the help and blessings of James Baker and the Bush family.

But, it’s all so boring.

(Sorry.. blame it on the Shark plane.) But trust me: If I had the bucks I would DO this just to have some fun.

Just imagine…who would you go for first?

 

November 28, 2018 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

“Sometimes You Feel Like a Nazi: Sometimes You Don’t”

Nobody’s Opinion

Remember that Almond Joy commercial…Some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t?” It’s the kind if jingle that advertisers KNOW will stick in your head.

Simple. Repeated. Ingrained, whether you want it to be or not. And that’s how they do it:
Advertisers know how to in grain you with thoughts you would never have. Never believe. America is the BEST at doing this.

And recently it’s the “Populists nationalists are Nazi’s, and Trump is their Hitler” song that the left keeps on singing.

Nobody thinks that the progressives commercial for the conservative masses would sing Sometimes you feel like a white-supremist Nazi, sometimes you don’t.”

It will be coming any day now, probably during half-time while watching the Dallas Cowboys football game on Cable.

And they will declare, unequivocally, without hesitation, that if you support President Trump, and have a deep love of your country, putting your love for your county ABOVE the rest of the world, then, you ARE a Nazi.

The trouble is: convincing anybody who knows the real history of Hitler, knows for a fact that this is a bunch of baloney, so getting the white people left in the world to realize just how horrible they are takes some REALLY creative brainwashing,

I saw some of this ‘creative’ brainwashing in an article in last month’s AARP (Angry Autocrats of Retarded Progressives) magazine.

Yes, AARP. Once you turn 50, you will be bombarded weekly to try to get you to sign on to this organization of leftist propaganda disguised as someone to “help” old people. And you WILL do it. Sooner or later if for no other reason to get them to stop bugging you.

The article I’m talking about was written by an ex-advertising copywriter named Martha Hall Kelly. One day she suddenly got interested in the Holocaust and dropped her career to go traveling around Europe to look up a group of women who were basically tortured and experimented on by German Doctors. Only a few of them were left: Polish women who were lab ‘rabbits’ at the Ravensbruck, an all-women concentration camp. They had bone and muscles removed for fun: some were given tetanus bacteria for fun: well…I’m sure even stuff we could not even imagine happened to these women, unless of course, we visited our local Planned Parenthood…and by the way, MS Hall discovered that many of them died.

Nobody KNOWS where she has been for most of her 61 years, but clearly, by her own accounts, the Holocaust was news to her.

I was really enjoying the article until I read this:

“I’ve become infinitely more sensitive to the threat of the resurgence of Nazism and white nationalism and committed to making sure we remember and learn from humanity mistakes.”

WHAT? We have NAZI’s everywhere? Where?

Translation: The Trump and Brexit supports are basically, NAZI’s in disguise. And they will end up putting women in concentration camps with the Mexicans and South Americans, and sooner or later you must realize that ALL white people (exception democrats) are Nazi’s.

This progressive brainwashing has been going on for some time…for instance, Hillary is really going full frontal nudity on it, which is an image I really didn’t want to talk about, but there you are.

Clinton cited research into fascism that former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright conducted that found “various populist, right-wing, fascist, authoritarian movements and leaders destroy a common base of fact and evidence, creating an ‘alternative reality.’

Meaning any reality that is not hers.

What is so unbelievable about this is how brilliant they are transforming ignorant minds into Progressive mush.

From cradle to AARP grave, the world of Obama and Hillary have grabbed hold of all narratives and twists ignorance into “OMG!” White Trump supporters are Nazi!

You see, progressive won’t teach the horrors of Nazism or communism in our schools because it would be just too upsetting to us poor little dears. And when a woman, such as MS Kelly finally finds out at age 61, well, you can imagine her shock.

So, my question to you as you are reading this: “Do YOU feel like a Nazi? Do you long to experiment on women, tear out their leg muscles, put Mexicans in concentration camps and dictate that all white people should be supreme commanders of the world?

Or, do you just wish the one woman who acts more like Hitler than most people even care to admit, take her AARP walks in the woods forever, and leave us the hell alone?

This is NOT a multiple choice. It’s pretty simple really.

There are so very few real “white supremists” in America, they couldn’t muster even a rally at the local YMCA for more than a few hours.

Nobody Wonders, when exactly did MS Kelly discover that white people (She’s white) were such a danger she felt compelled to warn us all…with her books and insights into the evil spirit of white people?

I bet, right after she got her AARP card in the mail. And now she gets all those flyer discounts.

So…My suggestion to MS Kelly is: Dear MS Kelly:

If you can’t see the difference between the Nazi’s and Trump supporters than maybe you should consider singing every morning to your own white image in the mirror…

”Sometimes if you feel like a Nut, then you probably are.”

Beware….you COULD be…a Nazi. You’re white, and you live on Martha’s Vineyard.

What more proof do you need?

November 25, 2018 Posted by | Hitler, humor, progressives, Propaganda, Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment

What EXACTLY are Sherpa’s Worth?

Nobody Flashes

While France is rioting over gas prices….

Americans are rioting over who can get to the Black Friday Sherpa’s the fastest.

I really don’t get the man in this picture, but then again, the woman

These women make me think that maybe we really DO need marijuana legalized…for certain shoppers on Black Friday. I think they should have free bong giveaways at every entrance to the local malls to get them all to relax.

This video is PROOF that evolution never happened.

The secret to Victoria is: You don’t need a Sherpa to be sexy….let’s not tell them.

 

November 24, 2018 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Bono and Pavarotti, is like Mixing Sauerkraut with Angel Food Cake

Nobody Flashes

Okay. This is just wrong.

I’m laughing because Bono is SUCH a bad singer, and notice how Pavarotti is standing…as if he wishes he was in Tibet…anywhere but there.

Bono was SO bad, he had to READ the absurd words he wrote. He wrote them while watching a soccer game on TV. Truly the worst. 

Poor Ava Maria.

Butchered by a Bonehead.

This is…so wrong…you may not want to watch it.

I’m sorry. I’m still laughing.

November 23, 2018 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Perfect: Elizabeth Warren

Nobody’s Perfect

I never thought I’d say this, but thank you Elizabeth Warren!

By taking a DNA test to ‘prove’ you had every reason to get big advancements in the elite university’s of your choice, you have finally put a laser beam of attention on the fact of just how ridiculous it is for ANY one to get special privileges because of their DNA.

(Or shall we say, lack thereof.)

Like Pocahontas before you, you have lead the nation into the wilderness and shown us all, how hypocritical affirmative action is, and how someone who is thinking of running for President…

Just blew her chances.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) released her DNA test results Monday in an effort to dispel questions over her ancestry, but was roundly mocked by conservatives after the results suggested she was between 1/32nd and 1/1024th Native American.

The test, conducted by Stanford University professor Carlos Bustamante, includes the possibility that Warren has at least .001% Native American ancestry, nearly half of what the average white person has, according to the New York Times.

If @elizabethforma’s DNA sample is even accurate, which is in doubt because Mexican, Colombian, Peruvian, and African American often return false Native American positives, as a 10th generation bloodline that makes her .00098 “Native American.”
10:36 AM – Oct 15, 2018

Even though the Cherokee nation has disowned you, I’m sure the Girl Scouts has an opening for squawk leader, where you can train our future Indian guides how to be proper socialists and learn how to ‘game’ the system.

In the meantime, I suggest you check out that DNA and see if you are actually…human. Maybe those high cheek bones come from eating too many nuts.

I’d look for squirrel genes.

 

October 15, 2018 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Rare Footage of Diane Feinstein and Mitch McConnell

NOBODY FLASHES

Here’s a rerun of Democratic Senator Diana Feinstein making her arguments against Judge Kavanaugh inside the Senate Private sitting rooms today…it was just released a few hours ago…

As you can see…Republican Senator Mitch McConnell is listening politely and carefully, but stood his ground. Like all things…the #Metoo movement is exhausting us all. There is only so many diapers to go around.

Still…It was…a glorious moment in historical Senatorial debate.

Have a great Sunday!

 

October 5, 2018 Posted by | humor, politics, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Nobody Remembers….Chuckies Schumer’s Limo Ride

Nobody’s Opinion

By now, everybody who has lived through the Clinton years, knows what’s happening with the frantic “###ME,ME,ME,ME, TOO!” movement. It’s all about the “women” vote and stopping another conservative from getting on the Supreme Court.

The demofrats are going to lose an awful lot of the black vote in the next elections, and they know it. So, they are going after the women vote. After all, they think enough women out there hate men. So, if they can get the black WOMEN vote, they can hold on. They figure the black men are all out shooting each other up.

I live not too far from Ferguson and the blacks are treating the white people here, like REAL people. I can tell you personally, they are finally waking up to President Trump being the man who has opened their eyes.

Just yesterday I was in a craft store, and the two black women in line went out of their way to help me with a store coupon. One gave me a flyer, the other gave me her cell phone.

Trust me, that’s not normal.

Which is why I think that the whole ‘planned’ attack on Judge Kavanaugh is probably going to backfire at the polls, whether Flake keeps him off the court or not.

Yes, the rich/elite/global/progressives are desperate, because most people do know that socialism will not work.

Unless of course, you are Jim Carey, Warren Beatty, or you think Venezuela is the place to retire.

Why are they desperate? Let’s not forget that the democratic party was completely destroyed when Obama was president.

During Obama’s eight years in office, the Democrats have lost more House, Senate, state legislative and governors’ seats than under any other president.

When Obama took office, there were 60 Democratic senators; now there are 46. The number of House seats held by Democrats has shrunk from 257 to 188.

There are now nine fewer Democratic governors than in 2009. Democrats currently hold fewer elected offices nationwide than at any time since the 1920s.

Obama didn’t care. And while he was on the campaign for Hillary to take over his job, he kept telling his audience that a vote for Hillary was a vote for his legacy.

We all saw how well that worked.

I don’t know about you, but listening to liberal’s whine and groan about what somebody drunk, or said in high school, is getting boring. To make that the main case for why he shouldn’t be on the Supreme Court, well then, as Jesus would say: Let every Senator who never got drunk in High School, cast the first stone. In fact, let’s get background ‘rape’ allegations checks on all of them.

Why not? If all it takes is an allegation to put a man and his family out of a job, then why not get a bunch of women together, pick the democratic Senator you hate the most, and swear 100 Percent that he ‘molested’ you, when he was drunk. Say there WERE no witnesses.

DEMAND an FBI investigation.

Let’s start with Cory Booker.

Ladies?

I’m SURE that migraine you are having from listening to another liberal complain about the evil of Judge Kavanaugh, will be just what you need to make you want to remember…That night…long ago, when Chuckie Schumer…(Back them, everyone knew him as Chuck pass the Buckeye) saw you on the Jersey Shore and pushed you into his limo while he grabbed and kissed you with the doors locked…and you couldn’t get out.

It’s all starting to come back to me now…it was the summer of ….1969….I remember it was him…
He grabbed my breast…and I was afraid he was….”GOING TO KILL ME AND DUMP MY BODY IN HOFFA’s OLD BUICK!” You know, the one they buried next to Vince Foster?

And I’m 100% SURE that Harvey Weinstein was driving the CAR! Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to get in another limo! In fact, I couldn’t even go to my prom because of the horrible PTSD…I spend my life wanting to JUMP out of moving cars….!

Somebody call Sherlock Holmes and let’s get this whole farce over with.

Are you with me?

https://www.npr.org/2016/03/04/469052020/the-democratic-party-got-crushed-during-the-obama-presidency-heres-why

September 30, 2018 Posted by | corruption, humor | , | Leave a comment

The Great Escape From Feinstein

Nobody Flashes

I can relate. This is pretty much how I feel EVERY morning after turning on the news.

Why get out of bed?

Thanks to Lulu for giving me a good laugh.

After last week, I think we all need one.

Now, if a dog can act….then you KNOW that the news is full of great actors.

September 29, 2018 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody Has Any RESPICT for Al Sharpton

Nobody Cares—

If I give us all a good laugh today, do you?

After all, we don’t have any comedians left on TV.

Enjoy!

By the way, doesn’t Al Sharpton STILL owe back taxes?

Can you BELEIVE (believe? bewieve? Beneve?) that this man is even on TV?

August 29, 2018 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Youtube Hasn’t Censored These Yet: Captain Kirk Meets Nancy Pelosi.

Nobody Flashes

Somebody on YouTube is having fun making these “Captain Kirk Meets” all of our favorite liberal dim wits.

I just happened to run into this one, which is priceless.

Enjoy!

If you want more, just go to YouTube before they are deleted.

August 4, 2018 Posted by | humor | , | Leave a comment

Laughing Babies: Good Therapy After Watching the WH Press Orgies

Nobody Flashes

If you do NOT find this video gives you a smile and makes you remember the very joy of life and children and laughter and love…

Then you’re probably related to Bob Mueller, or Hillary Clinton.

I can’t help you.

ENJOY!

 

June 15, 2018 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Gitmo Time: Stage Four

Nobody Flashes

Hi again.

By now, you are saying (You know who you are— I can COUNT you on one hand and a pinkie): Well, where ARE you Joyanna? You said, just last week: “God willing” that you would be back on Monday. You weren’t. What happened? Wasn’t God Willing?

Did your absence have something to do with the last of the White Rhino’s dying off the planet?” somebody out there might ask.

No. And politically speaking, after hearing about the last omnibus bill, that might not be a bad idea—

No, it had to do with my Nobody’s Gitmo Time.

Let me explain in one sentence: “If you can’t get to Stage four, then it’s Nobody’s Gitmo Time.”

I’ll explain Stage four in a minute. First, we must get through stage one, two, and three.

Basically, I’ve been tortured.

It’s not a pretty thing when you find yourself lying on the floor, and saying to yourself, “Damn. I did it again.” Fall that is. I’ve been falling lately, not because I’m clumsy, no, it’s because I’m usually in stage four sleep and I’m trying to walk.

Do NOT compare me to Hillary. She’s usually awake when she falls. No, this is ‘stage four’ lack of sleep torture.

Not sleeping Joyanna? Big deal. Go take a nap.

I can’t nap. Too much caffeine. You see, I can’t sleep, I can’t nap. The REAL Gitmo would be a vacation to me right now.

Why are you not in bed you might ask? Because, for the last four months of my life, I have been tortured by experts that even the toughest of Gitmo CIA operatives would be jealous of.

And that main CIA operative in my house’s name is: Koko.

My little 17-pound dog was named after the famous gorilla who could use sign language, because at the time she was literally dropped on our doorstep, I had much more important things to do beside name a dog. KOKO the gorilla was on the TV at the time I was changing my mother’s diaper–therefore I shouted, “Let’s name her Koko!” And went back to diaper duty.

But Koko is MUCH smarter than her namesake. She doesn’t even need opposing thumbs. She has a bark that tells me everything she needs. A bark SO LOUD that car alarms go off, TV’s turn on, and ground hogs turn over in their holes when she opens up her little mouth.

She can’t hear her own bark because, you see, she’s 17, and deaf.

She’s also blind.

The vet says: Hey, if a dog can still smell, she’ll be fine!

Fine for the dog. Torture for the owner. As you can guess…my VET is a democrat.

Let me go on to say that Koko has a great heart, but her back hips are giving out. And every night, she wakes up, around 2 or 3 am, and barks SO loud that I literally rise from the bed like Linda Blair in the exorcist.

So far, my husband has not noticed this elevation.

Big deal? Yes, because you see, she sleeps at the end of the bed and I must get up out of my sleep and lift her up, take her to the back-patio door, and gently take her down the two steps outside. Otherwise, there is a big mess on her bed, or on OUR bed, and that means an entire day of laundry.

I’m so tired, I usually don’t bother to put shoes on. Snow? Who cares? Cold? Hey, I’m dead to the world.

So, being that at 3am in the morning I am in stage four sleep, sometimes, I trip going to the door in the dark, and I’m thinking: “I’ve fallen! Do I HAVE to get up?”

Now, let’s review: Stage one is the first 20 minutes of sleep. Then…Stage two. That lasts around an hour, where people usually dream. Stage 3 doesn’t last long and frankly, nobody really remembers it, but Stage FOUR! Oh, that’s the time, around the third to fourth hour, when the brain reboots, the immune system repairs all the damages done doing the day, and gets you ready for the NEXT four hours. And then it all starts over. Every night. Unless you are a turtle, that’s what happens.

Most people go through two stage fours a night. Not me. I never make it to even ONE.

If ONLY I was a dolphin.

If you are awakened in the lovely sleep stage of one or two, then you wake from either a dream of, in my case, pythons or tornadoes, or a lovely dream. I dream of designer homes of the rich and famous where I am the rich and not so famous. I can design the BEST bathtubs in my dreams.

You should see them.

But to be awakened night after night after night after night, after night, after night, after night after….(for three months straight, or has it been six?) when I’ve just gotten into stage four?

Total torture. Putin would tell you. (The Russians have perfected sleep deprivations torture.) Your body, doesn’t want to move. Your arms feel like they are being held down by Michael Moore who is actually grinning: Your legs feel like the great wall of China. They simply refuse to budge.

Hillary Clinton herself could be standing by my bed with an axe and I’d turn over and try to go back to sleep.

And once I get up? I don’t DARE cook breakfast. I can’t get near a stove until at least 4pm.

But…. let’s get back to 3am. I’m just beginning to fall into Stage four sleep, and I hear– BARK! BARK!
I somehow manage to lift her down, stay awake 20 minutes while KoKo does her stuff, sniffs the house, drinks some water, gets stuck behind a corner, where I have to find her and rescue her, and then, I hear the bark: I WANT BACK UP.”

So, I pick her up and put her back in her bed.

It takes her a good five minutes after turning around to find a good spot. I finally get to fall back asleep…BUT…in just two hours…I’ve passed through sleep stage one, two…three…and THEN….

The clock turns to 4am. My husband wakes up. He turns the TV on. The other dog is barking and up. I don’t have to move, but I cannot go into stage four for another 45 minutes until he leaves at five, and I’m FINLLY in stage four, and….

BARK! It’s 6 am! Wake up! BARK BARK BARK!! BARK BARK BARK!!.

Both dogs. Get up! Get up! Feed me! Let’s play! 

This has gone on for four months straight. Add to that the fact that every other night my husband snores loud enough to launch the new Russian missile over Joe Biden’s house, and even the radio in my ear doesn’t drown THAT out, I cannot even get to stage two on those nights.

Try sleeping on a transistor under your back and your ear tangled up in wire. Try making it through the day when you are actually worse than a Zombie in last night’s Living Dead Episode. Try remembering why you are AT the grocery store.

And then, after going through the day half asleep, try writing a coherent blog right before bedtime.

So, you get it.

I have had no REAL sleep in over four months.

And here’s the kicker.

You cannot make up sleep. Nope. Whoever told you that is lying to you. The only thing you can do is take bucket loads of caffeine and make a lot of spelling mistakes. Which I do all the time, AS YOU ALL KNOW, but then again, so does President Trump.

I don’t think it’s just Congress and the democrats that are torturing our President.

I don’t think he gets enough Stage four sleep either.

Now, you might think I’m lying. But I swear, the LAST memory of myself ever having slept a full 8 hours (which is what I really need) and waking up feeling just marvelous, was in the year 2000. Yes, I remember it well. Seventeen years ago, almost to the day.

I was in Naples, Florida at a friend’s house, visiting. And I was….ALONE.

But, I don’t want to be alone. I have a wacko blind and deaf dog whom I cherish, a husband whose snore I’m sure I would miss despite the torture, and a brain that might not ever recover.

Anyway, any sane person, who’d had been sleeping properly, would not post this.

But, at the moment, I am not sane, I’m just…. tortured, and I don’t want to lose what little following of my blog that I have.

So, I just wanted to let you know: I’m thinking of joining the CIA where I too, can learn how to torture.

I have not disappeared.

I’m just…….in Nobody Needs Deep Sleep Gitmo.

Where I am losing sleep— but gaining my sense of humor back.

I guess you really have to suffer in life to enjoy it. That’s all I have to say about it.

Only to add…Nobody’s Perfect. Someday, sleep will come. When I’m dead.

Until that time…I’ll write when I can.

March 22, 2018 Posted by | humor, Life, Uncategorized | , | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Perfect: Fergie

Nobody’s Perfect

Okay. Just in case you missed it.

I just watched it, and like many in the audience I couldn’t stop laughing.

Where’s the bed Fergie? Under the net? Did you remember to bring protection?

Was this to show how you REALLY feel about…basketball players?

Or do you really think America is SEXY?

Was this your imitation of Marilyn Monroe’s  Happy Birthday Mr. President?

Or just your attempt at revitalizing your career?

Sorry…do you even HAVE a career?

And how about those notes at the end? Not sure what the men who defended Ft. McHenry would have thought about this…

But, the rest of us thought it was a pip.

Love the dress. Go ahead and sing it again.

All smiles are welcome! At least she didn’t forget the words…

And how that happened this nobody is not exactly sure.

So, Congratulations Fergie. You win the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week!

Fergie may not be a household name, but after this, she will have top billing on YouTube as one of the few singers to have sung our National Anthem and actually get a good laugh.

 

February 19, 2018 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , , | 3 Comments

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