Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody’s Email: Skunks and Jokes.

Nobody Gets Email

The Sunday Funnies!

Here’s two great jokes I JUST got…hope you enjoy them as much as I did.oh on three

(Thanks to Madmemere)


When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped him across the face and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy The Nation I helped conceive?” Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.” James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!” Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Obama with a long cane and snarled, “It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence.” The beatings and thrashings continued as James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist, leader. As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Obama wept and said, “This is not what you promised me.” The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?

 

The British doctor says, we took a dead man’s balls and transplanted them to a living man and now he is looking for work.   The  German doctor says: In Germany,  we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and  in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”    The Russian  doctor says:  “Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another man’s chest, and  in 2 weeks he  is looking for work.”   The American doctor laughs: “You all are behind us. Seven years ago, we took a Muslim with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country  is  looking for  work!”

This joke actually won an award for the best joke in world competition held in England.


And this: just about one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen….

August 21, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Hillary’s Ceiling Fan

Nobody Gets Email

A joke…sort of: (Thanks to Kris)

 

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,Angry Hillary

“What are those clocks?”

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”

“Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible,” said the man.

“That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Where is Hillary’s clock?”

“Her clock is in Jesus office. He is using as a ceiling fan. “

 

too stupid

August 20, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | , | Leave a comment

Nobody Gets Email: Parody of Pics

Nobody’s Email:

It’s SATURDAY…Yeah! The Conventions are over with, and I’m proud to announce that today, I talked a woman who hated Trump, and was going to vote for Hillary, into changing her vote to Trump.

One at a time…one at a time.

Anyway, I just got this in the mail tonight, and I thought some of these were really funny. It’s men making fun of woman’s posing for pictures.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Mona)

Man's answer to women's flipping their hair in water.

Man’s answer to women’s flipping their hair in water.

Cousin makes fun of her FACEBOOK image

Cousin makes fun of her FACEBOOK image

"I woke up like this."

“I woke up like this.”

Let's make fun of Kendal Jenner

Let’s make fun of Kendal Jenner

Dad makes fun of daughter's selfie's.

Dad makes fun of daughter’s selfie’s.

Beer belly, or Demi Moore?

Beer belly, or Demi Moore?

 

 

July 30, 2016 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody Gets Email: How a Politician Works

Nobody’s Email:

Even though the last week brought heartache to America, it’s important that we remember…

We must live our lives and keep up our spirit, our hopes, and go on.

Remember, generations before us have had to deal with MUCH worse.  We must NOT give in to Obama’s plans of a race war so that he can keep in office…which is what it seems he has planned.

Come on…do you really think he wants Hilary to be President? Look at this picture: She is hungry for his job

He is thinking: “I HAVE to give up Air Force One? Will Bill let me on HIS plane?”

Hillary and Obama eating

So, in the continued promise of taking Saturday off…

Here’s a clever joke…about politicians.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to madmemere)

*********************
I told my son “I want you to marry a girl of my choice!”
He said “NO!”

I told him it’s Bill Gates daughter.
He said “OKAY!”

I contacted Bill Gates & told him “I want your daughter to marry
my son!”
He said “NO.”

Told him my son was the CEO of the World Bank.
He said “OKAY.”

Went to the President of the World Bank & told him to make
my son CEO of the Bank.
He said “NO.”

Told him my son was Bill Gates Son-in-Law.
He said “OKAY.”

And That’s Exactly how Politics work.

Hillay saved

July 9, 2016 Posted by | humor, politics, Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

Important … or not.

Nobody Flashes

So, you THINK you know it all ….This is very important. The title alone explains it all.

I never realize what I needed to know!

Enjoy!

 

June 18, 2016 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Duck Tape Can’t Fix Stupid

Nobody Gets Email

Okay…after the godification of Muhammad Ali yesterday, where Billy Crystal said the famous Hillary line “We don’t need to build walls, we need to build bridges.” I think we all need to deflate and come down.  I’m sure Billy Crystal has a moat with alligators around HIS house, and probably a statue of Ali in his library.  Really. I love the guy. But jeez.

Anyway…enjoy these fun sayings….I did.

(Thanks to madmemere)


 

1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way muchold age one
faster now!

  1. I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

  2. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the
    Jim.  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

  3. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.  We haven’t met
    yet…

  4. I don’t need anger management.  I need people to stop irritating me!

  5. When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment… Now, as a
    grown up, it just feels like a small vacation….

  6. My people skills are just fine.  It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs
    working on.

  7. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.old age two

  8. The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please.  I text back “no”
    which is shorter than “yes.”

  9. I’m going to retire and live off of my savings.  Not sure what I’ll do
    the second week.

  10. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid… but it can muffle the sound!

  11. Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer
    me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

  12. Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

June 11, 2016 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Trump VS Hillary Fishing Contest

Nobody Gets Email

FINALLY! The Trump VS Hillary Jokes are here!

Enjoy!

(Thanks to madmemere)

**************************Trump VS Hillary two

How do you settle a presidential election when the vote is too close to call?
With an ice fishing contest, of course!

After the first round of votes were counted, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were deadlocked.

Instead of going through a recount, the two agreed to a week-long ice fishing contest to settle the election. Whoever caught the most fish at the end of the week would be the President.

The candidates decided a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin would be the ideal place. No observers on the fishing grounds, but both candidates would need to have their catches verified and counted each night at 5pm.

After Day 1, Trump returned with a total of 10 fish, Hillary came back with nothing.

Day 2 finished, and Trump caught another 20 fish, but Hillary once again came back with nothing!

That night, Hillary and her cronies got together and accused Trump of being a “low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun.” Instead of fishing on Day 3, they were just going to follow Trump to spy on him and figure out how he was cheating.

Day 3 finished up and Trump had an incredible day, adding 50 fish to his total !!

That night, Hillary and her democratic buddies got together for the full report on how Donald was cheating. Hillary stood up to give her report and said,

“You are not going to believe this, That Low life Cheating Trump is cutting holes in the ice!”

And that, my friends, tells you all you need to know about the intelligence on the left side of the aisle!

June 3, 2016 Posted by | humor | , , | Leave a comment

Nobody Flashes Some Magic by SnapJack

Nobody Flashes

Kids that bug their parents for magic trick boxes, I have found, always go by a different DNA. And here’s one of those quirky kids.

Poor mom.

Okay. I would watch out for this guy at the Casino.

He’s pretty good.

Enjoy!

 

 

May 22, 2016 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Let’s have a black/white “Appropriating” war!

Nobody’s Perfect

Black people have decided that white people have no free speech.Justin

They call each other ‘nigger’ and white people cannot utter the word.

Okay. No problem.

But now, white people are not allowed to have “hair” like a black person. They can’t have dreadlocks. The new crime committed by whites against black has a name:

It’s called “appropriating” or “cultural appropriation.”

Last week, the internet was ablaze in response to a viral video showing a white, male, dreadlocks-wearing student at San Francisco State University being mercilessly punished for “appropriating” by a black female student.

During his iHeartRadio Music Awards performance Sunday night, Justin Bieber showed off his new dreadlocks hairdo. The singer quickly became just the latest white person to be blamed for committing “cultural appropriation” — which is a term Social Justice Warriors use when they want to shame white people for following or adopting a trend that wasn’t invented by someone white.

 

Social Justice Warriors? Who thought of this? The Justice department?

So what’s next? We will not be allowed to play the blues, rap, dance, or wear diamond rings?

This is…stupid. I say…white people all over…let’s fight back!

Condi Rice committing "cultural appropriating" crime

Condi Rice committing “cultural appropriating” crime

Does this woman know she is "appropriating" not only the dress but the MONEY of the white man? Shame

Does this woman know she is “appropriating” not only the dress but the MONEY of the white man? Shame

The King and Queen of white appropriating.  OMG...Pearls. And how about that hair!

The King and Queen of white appropriating.
OMG…Pearls. And how about that hair!

No black person should EVER be allowed to wear…say…pearls. Or dress in a nice suit. OR talk like he is educated, OR wear decent shoes. The fact is, that’s stealing the white man’s culture.

You want you’re to be separate? Okay.

Therefore…I say we make the playing field even. All these black people in these pictures are STEALING the white culture…and it must stop. They should all be fired.

Any black person trying to look like a white person is actually “appropriating” the white culture.

I don’t care for Justin Beaver, but gee…if he thinks wearing dreadlocks is going to make him look sexier to the girls, then leave him alone. He deserves to be alone for awhile.

Nobody Thinks this is a black- left-wing conspiracy to get blacks upset enough to go vote…because as I understand it, taking care of those dreadlocks leaves you very little time for anything else.

I suggest if Hillary wants to get blacks to the polls, she put pictures of Trump in ads with dreadlocks.

Now…HERE are the villains stealing the white culture. (Can this get even more sillier?)

Wal Mart Shopper

More true black culture

Oprah... Wearing white women curls. Shame

Oprah…
Wearing white women curls. Shame

Denzel... "appropriating" the GQ look.

Denzel…
“appropriating” the GQ look.

Will, "appropriating" the white rich man's attire.

Will, “appropriating” the white rich man’s attire.

April 4, 2016 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody’s Email: Shark Tank VS ISIS

Nobody Gets Email

I don’t watch much SNL anymore, but I do watch Shark Tank. In fact, I’m going to see Daymond John next week here in St. Louis.

This was pretty funny.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Anthony)

 

March 31, 2016 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

Nobody Gets Email: Americans Retain Their Sense of Humor…

Nobody Flashes another Email

Can we somehow keep our sense of humor this weekend, while George Soros continues his communist takeover?

Okay! Here’s some fun pics from my friend Kris

sign onesign twosign fivesigns sixsign threesigns four

 

March 12, 2016 Posted by | humor | | 1 Comment

Nobody’s Email: Kid Shows Tiger Woods How to Get a Hole-in-One

Nobody Gets Email:

Wow…I haven’t even been writing anything and I’m more stressed than EVER! The attacks on Trump have been so over the wall, you would think he actually gave nuclear weapons to Iran!

Wait. Wrong guy.

Anyway…here’s a kid who will give you a reason to smile.

Enjoy!

(Thanks to Kim Komando)

March 5, 2016 Posted by | humor | | 3 Comments

Nobody’s Email: Muslims get the MOST out of their Goats.

Nobody Gets Email

My liberal friend J.R. just sent this to me….It’s not only the women that aren’t safe…neither are goats.

 

 

Double indemnity for goats. First they get fucked by some asshole human then they get killed because of it. The same deal the human female followers of this “truly” compassionate religion get…

goat fuck

February 27, 2016 Posted by | humor | | 2 Comments

Nobody’s Email: British Survey

Just funnyNobody Gets One Email….

 

February 19, 2016 Posted by | humor | | 1 Comment

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 106 other followers

%d bloggers like this: