Joyanna Adams

Before Eve there was: Eurynome

Nobody Reads

Every religion in the world has a creation story, and the Greeks had one that I thought was interesting.

From the Greek Myths

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In the beginning, Eurynome, the Goddess of All Things, rose naked from Chaos, but found nothing substantial for her feet to rest upon.

NOBODY: That’s me in the morning. Chaos. Where’s the floor?

And therefore divided the sea from the sky, dancing lonely upon its waves.

NOBODY: I divide the blankets from my feet. I look out the window. The sea and the sky are there., Eurynome already took care of it.

She danced towards the south, and the wind set in motion behind her seemed something new a part with which to begin a work of creation.

NOBODY: I find the bathroom. I will refrain from taking about my new ‘part.’

Wheeling about, she caught hold of this North Wind, rubbed it between her hands, and behold! The great serpent Ophion.

NOBODY: —‘rubbed the North Wind between her hands? A SERPENT? Ha ha…a serpent in my bed?

Eurynome danced to warm herself, wildly and more wildly, until Ophion, grown lustful, coiled about those divine limbs, and was moved to couple with her.

NOBODY: I like how the Greeks used snakes as a metaphor for …well, it was a lustful snake! Couple is a nice word don’t you think?

Now, the North Wind, who is also called Boreas, fertilizes: which is why mares often turn their hind-quarters to the wind and breed foals without aid of a stallion.

NOBODY: All the horse needed was a bit of wind up their ass. I can just imagine the young Greek teenagers telling dad “It was WIND!” I was just walking!

So, Eurynome was likewise got with child.

NOBODY: This happens STILL all over the world. Wake up to the snake and you might get with child. But according to Elon Musk, NOT ENOUGH OF THIS WIND IS HAPPENING! Get windy guys.

Next, she assumed the form of a dove, brooding on the waves and, in due process of time, laid the Universal Egg.

NOBODY: I think I’ll stop here. Out of that egg, Ophion the snake coiled around the egg, and out came all things that existed the children: sun, moon, Planets, stars the earth with its mountains and rivers, its trees, herbes and living creature.

In the end they made their home on Mount Olympus, and HE claimed to be the author of the universe which really pissed her off, so she kicked his head with her heel, and banish him to the dark caves below the earth.

Nobody: Let that be a lesson to all you guys: the first creator of the universe was a woman, who got mad because her serpent got her pregnant and then told everybody HE created everything.

Don’t get the woman pissed off.

I can’t help but wonder if God, by making Eve eating the apple of wisdom under the tree, made the WOMAN the villain because the man didn’t touch it. BUT the serpent was there…and we can imagine what else Eve did with that serpent…it got them kicked out of the garden.

That’s what I get for reading Greek literature.

Soft porn. Haha…sorry.

And the poor lowly snake gets blamed every single time.

February 24, 2024 Posted by Joyanna Adams | Uncategorized | mythology, Nature, satan, snake, snakes | 1 Comment