NOBODY CARES

The big news today was: President Obama got lost inside the White House. Nobody can find him, and it is being reported that he has been taken by aliens and dumped on the mother ship for ANOTHER fantastic birthday party. Tom Hanks arranged the whole thing, as a surprise. Not that we care… we don’t. Standard and Poor’s downgraded the AAA credit of the United States today, and it was on this very important day in history that this Nobody got lost in the city of St.Louis. I started out heading South, then West, then East, then South, then West again, then North, then just about the time I was getting hungry, I decided to ask directions.

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I had a map, but no glasses.

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Yes, you would think after so many years roaming the side streets and inner deserts of St. Louis, and having played just about every dive and dump imaginable that I could never have gotten lost. I saw street upon streets of old dilapidated brick buildings that were never there before. Buildings built around the 1800’s and still somehow standing. Block after block— after block. Long ago, you could smell the brewery all over the town. Now, it’s pretty much the smell of urine.

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Nobody prefered the old barley smell myself.

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I always wonder if they leave those old buildings up just there to get their picture taken for the History Channel. The History Channel has a whole mini-series on “Life after People”, where they show how long it will take to rot the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower, the Hoover Damn, and the White House.

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But don’t believe it. No matter what happens to this country, as we slide slowly into a third world country where 400 gang members of blacks can attack whites daily: where people are so desperate for money they steal the bronze statue of the noble dog: and Jesus’s image is being found everywhere on e-bay..toast, pizza, beer foam…Obama’s head–whatever… you can bet whoever is in the White House will be having a big lavish party for the President and all his buddies, and Bob Dylan will be singing….

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“The Times They are a Chaaaaaanginnnng”…..(cough,cough)

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So, as I found my way home after a day of worrying about my gas tank…(Do I turn ON the air conditioner, or… turn OFF the air conditioner?) it came as no surprise that the country has been downgraded. I could tell by the action of my gas tank. One block took up half a tank.

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And after watching St. Louis die for over two decades all I can say is: it’s about time.

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Someday, we will all be living in our cars…if they let us.

***   (Nobody makes this stuff up)  Unfortunately, the mother ship was not shovel-ready, or I would be on it.)