Nobody Gets Email: Rectal-Cranial Inversion
Nobody Gets Email
Some people like cross word puzzles, I like clever quotations. In this political world of renaming people and things in order not to offend, it’s about time we made fun of those phrases.
Here’s some I got from a real patriot who loves fast and beautiful cars, and who says he got these off the “Old Farts” websites. I have no idea why anyone would hang around the ‘old farts’ website, but I’m planning on spending a lot of time there.
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “Hillbillies.”
You must now refer to them as : APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS
And furthermore :
How to speak about women and be politically correct:
1. She is not a ‘babe’ or a ‘chick’ -She is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN.’
2. She is not ‘easy’-She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE…’
3. She is not a ‘dumb blonde’-She is a
“LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
4. She has not ‘been around’-She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not “nag” you -She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘two-bit hooker’- She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’
How to speak about men and be politically correct:
1. He does not have a ‘beer gut’- He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a “bad dancer”-He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not “Get lost all the time”-He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘balding’- He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a “total ass”- He develops a case of ‘RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his “crack” you see hanging out of his pants–it’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’
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About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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Joyanna Adams 
When my son was younger I told him he could wear the baggy pants but they couldn’t hang off his butt and I didn’t want to see his underwear ever. He went along with those rules. But as someone with alot of junk in her trunk I have thought about wearing pants one day where I could let my underwear show and see how they like it. It would not be a pretty sight and maybe it would show them how ridiculous they look. It would be fun for me anyway.
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ok, I loved those politically correct phrases, I digressed a while back, it was seeing someones underwear and I don’t choose to show mine and I don’t choose to see anyone elses on the street or places they should not be shown off in!!!! Where is the modesty, or better yet simple Human Manners, why must most show off all that clothes were made to cover up?? No mystery, or illusions there anymore, nothing left to the imagination, and oh mother of pearl, please, its sometimes even best not to leave some stuff to even that! 😦 Yuckkkkkk
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Yup,as usual you are right on the money about all you write about,opps, did I say right on the money?? What money I bet you are asking,certainly not any we may have had in our pocket at one time!!!
I would bet my bottom dollar and by that I mean my last dollar,hense bottom dollar , that the rich and famous could and should give a tiny portion of money to help feed the poor and homeless right here in our country and out side of it also. after all, they made their money off somebody and that somebody is US !!!! Just a tiny portion of each would make a hugh difference in those in dire need, do you all not think??? What a sad and pathetic country we have turned out to be, land of milk and honey,land of oportunity,freedoms?? Oh heck and who are we trying to deceive with those one liner’s??? We are no longer a free and properous country, thanks to supporting all countrys who hate us,but will gladely take our help and money,but will also say , stay out of our country’s, we do not want you!!! Hmmmmm, sounds loud and clear to me, how about you???
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