The Orphic Republican Debate

  Nobody Wins:

So, who won tonight’s Republican Presidential primary debate? According to all polls, Mitt Romney.

Really? Not to this Nobody. Mitt Romney is about as trustworthy as a rapper on a hot night in Philly. He represents the big multinational companies. How can you trust a man who passed the first Obamacare in his state, and then says if he is elected he is going to repeal it? Whenever he talks I want to put a big bandage on his head.

Uh…so he was dumb two year ago? Suddenly we have a brain surge? What will he say two years from now?

You can’t trust him.

He says: he is the businessman, that’s what makes him special. Well, so is Herman Cain. Herman says that America should learn to take a joke. Pizza is NOT made in Iran.

Herman is very likable, but so is Bambi.

Nobody thinks Donald Trump’s experience as a businessman trumps both these guys, because he just has more experience overseas. But, that’s just my  Nobody’s Opinion. Trump and Palin are playing the smart card along with Rick Perry and staying out till later.  Soooooooooooooooooo, the desperate Americans will wait for more American Republican Idol debates. Great. They really ought to put Alex Baldwin in between them all just to liven it up.

Besides the fact that Jon Huntsman feels our pain, the most memorable thing about the whole debate was the fight between Michelle and Tim. I thought Michelle handled it well, and it might have to do with the fact that I saw Hillary again today on T.V.

Hillary has been around since the Civil War. Every time I see her I think of Sherman. Do we HAVE to keep seeing her on our TV? It’s like a bug crawling across the screen, she drives me crazy.

Go away!

I’m in a real sexist mood today since Gloria the Stein-ham came out talking her usual trash about any woman that is not her. Why can’t the good lord do us a favor and put both Gloria and Hillary on the next test flight over the ocean? It’s a big place the ocean.

Go on Gloria…be brave.. like Amelia.

The last woman politician this Nobody liked was Margaret Thatcher. And then, there was that old lady in Canada, who plays hockey…the mayor. She should be our President.

Where was Gloria when Michelle was attacked? Pawlenty had a real macho thing going on tonight, which makes you wonder if he isn’t running just to get her out of the picture. After all, next to Ron Paul, she is the tea party candidate.

“She’s got a record of misstating and making false statements,” Pawlenty said.

Come on: show me a politician who has NOT misstated or made false statements and I’ll show you how to win a game of chess in one move.

And speaking of Ron Paul, he got the most applause, because he’s the most honest. Did you notice they didn’t let him talk much?

Maybe we should try some normal people, like Dave Barry. What about him? He runs every year. (If you don’t know who Dave Barry is, then I suggest more alchohol.)

The nation could use man with a sense of humor. At least he would tell us jokes in his press conferences while we all slide into oblivion. The reasoning for this is that the band kept playing on the Titanic.

We must strive to be noble in our descent, don’t you think?

I’m just saying.

And then there was Newt, who was sharp…but he’s just like Romney. What they say, and what they will do..are always opposite most of the time.
Besides the usual, “I will save the Jews, the economy, the problem on the border, the schools, the country, Cher’s naval, and the nukes in Iran.” stuff that they always say, it was not very informative.

Besides— the problems we are facing are so big, that the most any of them can do is…very little. Trying to solve our deficit would be like putting a dog leash on a blue whale.

But…according to everyone..Romney won, and I admit, I didn’t really listen to it very carefully, because I just want to sleep when I hear the man talk.

You know, if Winston Churchill had been in the debate tonight, the news from everyone would STILL have been: Mitt Romney won.
Does it really matter?

Nobody Says…not today.

August 12, 2011 Posted by Joyanna Adams | Presidents | Economy, Humor, Poltical races, President, Presidential debate | Leave a comment