Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Love the Irish! (Sorry Amfortas..) The American Irish, How’s That?

Nobody Flashes

Ahhh…the Irish. We love them. We love their parades and their tempers, and most of all, how drunk they get on St. Patty’s Day.

I played so many St. Patty’s Days in bars as a singer/band person, that now, you would have to PAY me to go out drinking on St. Patty’s Day.

I do miss giving the Irish drunks in the crowd the mike, to see who could sing “Danny Boy” the best. Nothing to me was more entertaining than watching drunks climb over their comatose friends on the floor, staggering with their beers spilling out onto the stage, as they smile and sing words they had NO clue as to the meaning of.

It’s almost as fun as watching Hillary Clinton stumble into a parked car.

One time, on St. Patty’s Day, I sang “Danny Boy” in a pub, and some really drunk Irish guy loved it. He stood right in front of me while I sang and swore that I was an angel from Killarny.  And then at the end of the night, upon request, when I sang it again, he SWORE I botched it, and was about to throw his beer down and drag me clear to Dublin and throw me to his mother, who would have made me eat a rotten potato.

Luckily, I got out the back door.

That’s typical of the Irish. They start out loving the world, and then by the end of the night, they want to beat it up.

You gotta love em’.

Here in the Midwest, there are more drunks out on St. Patty’s Day than New Year’s Eve. Why? Because it’s a LOT cheaper to get drunk on St. Patty’s day. Has been for years.

Tomorrow, in lots of American cities, there will be parades and lasses in green dresses, and green beer and green popcorn, and corn beef, and on a lucky charm note, we know that CNN won’t dare complain about all these white people dancing around in green, because Obama is part Irish. Really. It’s true. On his mother’s side. (Someone tell Oprah.)

Today on the radio, I heard some bombastic ambassador of Ireland make a big speech about the ‘immigrants’ from Ireland and how when they first came to this country, they were treated like pigs. Trying to make the connection between the Irish and the Muslims.

I was about to say a few choice Irish words when I heard this, because there is no WAY you can compare an Irish American to a Muslim American. The Irish melted into our country just fine. So fine in fact, we celebrate them every year.

The moon will have to explode before Americans celebrate “Mohammed Day”. Can’t see it happening anytime soon.

This, “Irish” are like Muslims argument invites…..rather choice words like the ones spoken above. (I’m going to memorize a few of these.)

And by the way, in case you wondered, Amfortas is a very proper gentlemen of the English— descendant of Knights, (Who sometimes reads me) and he HATES the Irish, and from his point of view, he should.

So…Sorry my dear friend, Amfortas. This love of the Irish only happens in America.

Turn to your Bible, and forgive us…and realize, that we celebrate St. Patty’s Day only because–it’s simply too much fun.

Blame it on the state of our meaningless drunken affections. We’re just dancin’ away with the fairies, trolling in the lime, and waiting for St. Patty to clear out the snakes in Washington.

And dear amfortas….if you see St. Patty, tell him to hurry….the grass is almost green.

 

 

March 17, 2017 Posted by | American Culture, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

   

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