High School Pregnancies–And Nobody LOVES Babies…
Nobody Wins
Here’s the situation that happened to my friends neighbors’ just last week:
A young girl not yet out of high school, got pregnant. Her parents of course were frantic…the father hadn’t worked in over a year, and the mother was somehow feeding the family with her meager wages. There were two other younger children to feed. And then, the sixteen -year-old gets pregnant. Good people, decent hardworking people, and then..this. (Sarah Palin) could relate. So, they sat down with the young couple, (luckily it was not a one night stand) and they all decided that the best thing to do was to have the baby and let it be adopted.
The day came, for the baby to be born, and she came out beautiful, and healthy, and the adopted mom was all excited..and this is where they made the mistake in my Nobody’s Opinion. They let the real mother hold the child, and take pictures! I mean, come on. That’s not at all fair to the adopting parents. And that’s not fair to the real mother either….to hold it and have to let it go? They know about the “bonding” process in hospitals and they let this happen?
Nevertheless, that day, the real mother seemed to be handling it well. Not so much… the father.
I was sitting at my friend’s house when the man (new grandfather) came in the door the next day, all excited. He had finally found a two- week job out of town. This could not have come at a better time, because he had to prove he had work before they were allowed to keep the baby, and get federal funding, like Medicaid. Yes— the young couple, who were not married and not even out of high school decided to keep the baby. Grandma, Grandpa, and the U.S, taxpayer would basically be feeding another mouth.
And sadly, this is happening everywhere. Sex is sold to our kids before they even get out of kindergarten, what do you expect?
Getting pregnant in high school seems to be all the rage. In Memphis, Tennessee, 86 students at Frayser High School are pregnant or have given birth in the last year. Illegitimate births for all Americans have risen from 26% in 1990 to 46% today. Among Hispanics it’s 53%, blacks, it’s 73%, and 29% among whites.
All these illegitimate births of course, are being life-supported by the state. It might be Hillary’s utopia, but to the rest of the hard-working people– it’s not fair. Grandma will not get her hip surgery because Jose has four little babies by three different women. And it’s only going to get worse.
This from Phyllis Schlafly
The economist Robert J. Samuelson recently concluded that “the welfare state is winning the budget war.” The bipartisan budget deal, which slashed our military budget but kept welfare-state handouts mostly off limits, turned out to be “a triumph of the welfare state over the Pentagon.” The Heritage Foundation reports that 77 types of federal means-tested handouts already cost $522 billion per year before Obama took office. He increased this giant amount to $697 billion per year in the first half of his term, and now half of Americans depend for their living expenses in whole or in part on government handouts paid by the other half who pay income taxes.
Subsidies to women who have no husbands in the house, is going to ruin us all. The “War on Poverty” was lost at its inception. It’s the reason 73% of blacks have no husbands. Thanks so much Lyndon.
I’m not sure, because I don’t know, what will happen with this young couple. Most will predict that the father will eventually leave, the mother might have to drop out of school..but we forget. In the old days, families had a lot more kids, and they all worked together to raise the kids. Grandma’s, cousins, brothers, sisters—it’s nothing new.
How do I put this? To me, it’s too cruel to the baby for a mother to give it up to another mother, unless she is on her death bed. A baby is not like an old coat…it’s a responsibility. You got pregnant when you didn’t expect it—you’re not married? You’re too young? Then you just dealt yourself a hard blow. You think if you gave up that baby, you will go on to college and your whole life is ahead of you…and …
I’m here to tell you…nothing in life will ever be as important or bring you more pleasure that that child. I don’t care if you went on to be Oprah Winfrey.
And besides. The odds of this girl getting out of the lower class that she is in, is pretty low even if she didn’t have the baby. It has nothing to do with her: We are NOT the same America. I could get into WHY we aren’t the same America..but it would take a book, at least. The liberals have worked hard to destroy the “man” and the “family” and the “Ten Commandments” …just for their own political utopia of the state raising the babies.
Most importanly in this case though…the father wants her and the baby. That’s the best news of all. And look at her…isn’t she just the most precious?
And speaking of babies…did you know the youngest mother on record was only five? (Go ahead..check Snopes!) Her son lived to be forty.
Also, everything you always wanted to know about baby stats is shown below. Just think, every 7 seconds another cute little bundle is waiting to come forth, burp, and then smile! Who doesn’t love babies?
Nobody loves them all.
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About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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Joyanna Adams 
I too add my sympathies to you dancermomd. My brother lost thier first born, he lived a little over a year. My mother lost her first born. She always acted and talked about him as if he lived. To carry a child in your body, feel his little feet, his hiccups, his very presence…and not to be able to hold him is beyond comprehention.
I too lost my first child. You never get over it.
I come, to what seems like a very hard and ruthless decision, based on what I’ve learned about the “bonding” experience. My good friend from the past, Dr. Lee Salk, (brother of Jonas Salk) who was one of America’s leading experts on children and I used to discuss this very subject often. He strongly believed in bonding right away with mothers. He believed it could affect the rest of the child’s life if it wasn’t done.
Later in my life, I read many a book on what happens when children do NOT bond.
Lee’s theory was that the mother and the baby already bonded during pregnancy. The baby knows her voice…etc, and when that baby is finally born, it must be stroked and held quickly. They have done many experiments with monkeys and find that monkeys that have no contact with mothers after birth, will become emotionally detached.
Some of them grow up to be serial killers.
So, I would put myself in the place of a young mother,…that child is not going to die, it’s going to go to another mother and she might never see it again. And if she does, it will cause a lot of confusion in the “child’s” llfe.
Does that child KNOW it’s mother already? Then psychologically, to have it’s real mother hold it, then disappear forever…only to be handed over to another mother, is doing damage.The going knowledge is: their just babies..they don’t know a thing. BUT…there are a lot of tests that show, mother nature knows. Even animals know.
At least that was his theory. Many people thought he was nuts.
And I must admit, if I were to do the same thing, I would have to be brave enough to let the “new” mother BE the mother. To me, it would be selfish for me to hold the baby, if I had already promised another couple to take her…not only because we all know biologically speaking how hard it would be to give it up, but the thought of “how is my child doing?” would always be in my mind. Many a mother has changed her mind years later, and caused both families a lot of pain.
Having said that, a young girl who can hold that baby, then give it up….is… superhuman in my book.
So dancermomd, thanks for sharing what was a very painful memory with us all. It’s hard when you’re young, and the fellow is not around…no marriage. All the decisions and responsiblities are left up to the women when the man..”leaves.” I know very few women who have not been in that place.
On the other hand, many a man WANTS to see his kids and can’t…right amfortas?
I pray that all the little angels that didn’t make it, never stray from our hearts, and God fills the void with other children for us all to love.
And I’m glad this little one was kept by the “family”…i heard everyone from the neigborhood has already come around to “help.” the young mother.
And that’s is a great start.
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Amfortas, Thank you. Yes, it was 26 years ago but I do think of my first born frequently even if he only lived for 30 minutes. I think of him as my little angel and honestly where I was in life at that time I was considering adoption for him. I was young, the father was already absent and I really wasn’t capable of handling a child as a single mom without any real support system. I do agree any child is better off with both committed parents and it’s great when the mom has some emotional support (I wouldn’t have applied for welfare) but there are a lot out there without that support. It takes a great love to give your child up for a better life with someone else. I think we are saying the same thing just coming at it from different sides.
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hello Dancermommd, I hope you do not mind my speaking directly to you. I can understand what you are saying and applaud your honesty and maturity. I do hope you are in a better position now and your loss is less painful to you..
Many young women – and some older – have little in the way of the desired resources for raising a baby, and my comment above regarding Adoption needs to be understood in the context of my last paragraph. Enabling a young mother to stand on her own feet if she does not have a supporting husband is better done by increasing her expectations of succeeding with close, personal help, rather than by the state providing incentives for her to be on welfare for the rest of her life. Even better would be a much stronger expectation by society for babies to be born and raised by TWO biological parents who are committed publicly and are held to account for the child’s wellbeing.
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Joyanne, I must disagree with letting the mother see and hold the baby. Having lost a child at 19 weeks gestation I seriously wish I had held him to say goodbye. I think it’s important for the mother to say goodbye. It does take strength and a real love for the child to give it away to someone who can really care for it the way it needs to be. (Sometimes I wish I were younger so I could be a surrogate for those not able to have their child.) All babies deserve to be loved by the people who raise them.
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Good post there. Keep up the great work.
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What’s not to love…..really!
Good Post!
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A big and important subject, Joy.
I like babies. They have potential. I like families, especially intact ones. While I disapprove of 16 y/os having babies or starting a family, nevertheless it is not a bad things if managed properly.
The family has a responsibility and an accountability to its members. Our society has forgotten this in its rush to have the State become the Parents from Hell. The road to Hell may be paved with good intentions – and surely supporting a single mum has a good intent – but never before in history have we build such a short road, starting just a few yards from the gate and with Beelzebub as the foreman.
Matters could be improved relatively easily. A freeway can be built going the other way simply by declaring (in a legal sense) that Both parents are Wholly and Totally, jointly and severally Responsible for every aspect of their children’s wellbeing. NO assistance should be given by the taxpayer until every avenue of the parents’ has been explored, and if the new parents are still children, then their parents are still responsible and must carry the cost with them.
Further, the ‘good intent’ of legislators and passers-by must be strictly limited. Interference must be made an offence. The parents must ASK for’Official’ help and be held to account for repaying the help they get. ‘Authorities’ that ‘intervene’ must have a criminal reason – that is there must be a criminal charge needed against the parents before any ‘official’ intervention may be imposed.
All that sounds tough and unfeeling, but far from it. It puts parents in control and holds them to account. It protects parents and children from Government interference.
Babies ‘given-up’ for adoption must have a right to their own biological parents. The Bio parents must not be simply allowed to walk away from their responsibilities. An entirely new set of legal principle is needed in this area.
The vast amounts of money powering and driving the divorce industry must be diverted to supporting marriages and parents. A parent must be enabled to seek help and find it available. Not have it forced upon them, but there when they seek it. This must not be ‘Official’. Charity belongs to the people. Love and kindness belongs to the people. I would be far less critical (but still keep a sharp eye open) of private sector/charity organisations assisting marriage and parents in place of the battle-fleet of government bodies arrayed against Families, fathers, parents and increasingly, mothers.
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