Joyanna Adams

The REAL Story of the Muslim Veil

Nobody Reports

Ever wonder why the women in Muslim nations have to cover their bodies up? Well, here’s the reason:

Long ago, AFTER Jesus had quite a good following, there was a guy named Muhammad who claimed that some pesky angel just kept bothering him. He was a merchant in Mecca and wanted the Jewish tribes in the city to respect him. So, he told them of his “prophetic” visions. He pretty much said this:

“I keep getting this visit by some angel. I have NO idea if he’s good or bad, but he keeps smacking me around and he keeps wanting me to be the apostle of God. This is REALLY depressing me, what should I do?”

Evidently they didn’t give him much advise so he asked his wife, “Khadija… What’s wrong with me?”

Like the brave warrior jihadist that he was, he ran and hid under a blanket. No wife wants to see her husband spending his days under a blanket, so Khadija went to see a man named Waraqa. And somehow Waraga just knew that this was the angel Gabriel.

Khadija, decided to make a test, a sure-fire way to know if this “vision” was good or bad.

So…she made Muhammad sit on her left thigh.

“Can you see him.?” 

“Yes.”

Then she made him sit on her right thigh.

“Can you see him.?”

“Yes.”

Then she made him sit on her lap, and she cast off her veil while he was sitting on her lap.

“Can you see him?”

“No.”

Happy about her little test she said, “O son of my uncle,(nothing like incest) rejoice and be of good heart, by God he is an angel and not Satan!”

Muslim’s to this day insist upon the veiling of women because of this underlying assumption that the sight of an unveiled women is so distressing that’s why the biggest selling items in all the Saudi Arabia, (next to Lamborghini’s’) is the selling of lingerie at Frederick’s of Hollywood in all the malls.  

The sight of an unveiled woman is so disturbing, so sinful, that it cases angels to flee. Therefore, the Muslim men do not want any angels spoiling their visits with their wives..especailly Gabriel who we all know, was pretty good-looking and hard for any woman to resist.

Good God.

First off—Why was Khadija covered in a veil BEFORE the “All women must now wear veils.” was put into law?

Second—How did the angel even see her face uncovered with Mohammad sitting in the middle of her lap?

Or was he a pipsqueak?

And if you were a man, would you like telling that story to your children? “Yes, the great warrior had to sit on his wife’s lap..she made him do it.”

Is it any wonder why the Muslims hate the Jews and Christians? Moses didn’t get Gabriel, he got God himself talking to him through a burning bush. Jesus wrestled with Satan himself and won. Muhammad was of no holy birth, why didn’t Gabriel come down and seed HIS mother?

Muhammad had to sit on his wife’s lap after he crawled out from underneath a blanket!

What a wuss.

Okay, I’ve done it now. Making fun of three religions in just one day might be a record…but the story is true, according to The Truth about Muhammad by Robert Spencer.

If I was a Muslim woman, I would think it was a pretty lame excuse for a law that keeps you smothered in clothes when it’s 120 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and I might argue to my husband that I’d like to do that little test with him to see if it really is true.

Make him sit on your lap.

You could cover yourself up until the angel appears himself…and if that angel appears (hopefully it’s Gabriel, but any one would do) then you could promise to obey and suffer your husband’s wishes forever, but if that angel doesn’t appear? Then I’d insist that since it’s okay to wear sexy outfits at night, then it should be no problem during the day.

Proof is in the Arabian Lap so to speak, and I’m SO glad I’m not a Muslim woman.

I’m just saying.

December 6, 2011 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | humor, insanity, Islam | History, Humor, Islam, Muslims