Nobody REALLY Cares About the U.S Airway Dress Code
Nobody Cares:I mean, even TACO BELL has a dress code.
By now you’ve see this guy dressed as a woman, who was let on a US. Airways airplane because…1, there is no dress code, and 2. as long as you are not showing your private parts you are allowed to fly.
Can you imagine having to sit next to him? Uh…Her? And can you see a good looking woman with a GREAT body wearing that? If you go by that criteria, then I’m sure a whole new BUNNY AIR RANCH will be flying permanently on every flight.
Why…Miss America…of course! She represents all that the government hates…a beautiful American woman, which just HAS to be checked out …every…inch, by at least..ten or fifteen men, just to make sure she is not a terrorist, or God forbid she would happen to sit next to a Muslim who would be truly offended.
If you picked Cher, you would be wrong. It’s all in the wording. Nipples, can be said not to be in the area of “private parts.”
Not that anybody cares.
The Big Weiner Is Now…The Little Squirt
Nobody FlashesHe not only brought Americans comic relief in the middle of a great “recession,” but is at this very moment giving the Chinese and Taiwanese jobs making Weiner dolls and Wiener condoms.
And a great bulge it was…just ask him.
Although, he will get paid a very handsome pension till he dies, he will not have to resort to working as some lowlife lobbyist, no, he will make millions promoting the Weiner brand.
And a great brand it is!
So, all hail to the great Weiner! Nobody will be looking for his picture on the Ketchup bottles at my local grocery store.
Sarah Palin Catches Revealing Obama Email
Nobody Discusses Hot Dogs
Nobody Flashes:
There is a new popular posting going around all the famous blog sites. If the writers don’t have any time to write, they introduce a few subjects and say, “Go ahead and discuss amoung yourselves…I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Well, I’ve decided to get in on this exciting new habit. So…
Here is a wiener. Discuss it among yourselves and have a nice day! (I just HAD to do this since I usually only have one or two comments…just couldn’t resist. In fact, I’ll start it off.)
Hot dogs should never be underestimated. Perhaps there IS a difference between a hot dog, and a weiner. Exactly what is IN a hot dog? Are they worth even posting pictures of? Has ketchup ever been put on a Weiner? What was the biggest hot dog on record?
Go ahead…take it!
What to Look for in a Republican Presidential Candidate
Nobody’s Perfect: The Charlie Sheen Interview You DIDN’T See…
Nobody’s Perfect:
*****
Lance: Hey Charlie, you’re a big hit here man…all the inmates love ya, bro.
Charlie: I’m on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front Lance, thanks.
Lance: So, the guys here want to know if your show, “Two and a Half men” is about two guys and a dwarf…they don’t let us watch it here.
Charlie: I’m proud of what I created. Why wouldn’t I be? I exposed people to magic. I expose them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives. And I gave that to them! That sucks man, that they won’t let you watch the Tiger Warlock in action man…really.
Lance: Yeah, it’s pretty boring here. Sometimes it’s so boring you just want to die, know what I mean? Hey Charlie, can you send me some of your magic whatever…got any cobics? Maharishi? Chocolate chips?
Charlie: Dying is for fools. Amateurs.
Lance: Well, I miss my drugs man…you think you could score me some?
Charlie: I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was bangin’ seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, because I have one speed, one gear. GO! I’m different, I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.
Lance: Wow…tiger blood, I had some of that stuff once…I had a hard time walking.
Charlie: Shutup! Hey, I’m clean. I can’t help you out there Lance. I am on a drug, it’s called ‘Charlie Sheen.’ It’s not available cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body.
Lance: Wow man…that doesn’t sound too good. Haven’t you got anything else? Purple Haze? I wanna coast…you know what I mean?
Charlie: Yeah, I mean what’s not to love about me Lance? Especially when you see how I party. Man it was epic. That run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of ’em just look like droopy-eyed aimless children.
Lance: I once had some stuff with another Charlie ..he was real strange man. He kept talking in crazy rants, kept saying things like “Helter Skelter.” over and over again. Did you ever party with Charlie, Charlie?
Charlie: DUH! Yeah, probably… I think that’s where I first heard, “I’ve got poetry at my fingertip.” Charlie used to say that. I’m still alive, which is pretty cool. I got rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber. But I’m dealing with fools and trolls, out here Lance. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear.
Lance: That’s not good man.
Charlie: Hey Lance, It’s been a tsunami. And I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.
Lance: Well hell, man, why don’t you hook me up with some of that Charlie Sheen stuff?
Charlie: I can’t man., you borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like “Dude, can’t handle it! Unplug this bastard!”..it fires in a way that is perhaps not from this terrestrial realm.
Lance; I could use some new underwear– Charlie, in fact, you could send me some…you know what I mean? Score some of that terrestrial realm stuff for me bro. Just fold it over.
Charlie: Score, like in win? We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.”
Lance: Charlie, you’re a real lumberjack, you know?
Charlie: Thanks bro. I’m tired of pretending I’m not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars, and people can’t figure me out, they can’t process me. I don’t expect them to. You can’t process me with a normal brain. People who aren’t special. People who don’t’ have tiger blood and Adonis DNA. You must be special Lance.
Lance: Yeah, I love ya man. After I saw that cool tatoo you got, I went out and got one too.
Charlie: Shut up! What’s it say?
Lance: Lick me
Charlie: That’s cool man. Shut up! You know why I can say that? Because I’ve a 10,000 year old brain and the boogers of a 7-year- old. I’ve got poetry at my fingertips. Lick me. Love it.
Hey, gotta go Lance…my goddess’ are WINNING!
Lance..Okay…keep on winning bro! Bye.
***
Lance gets out in sixty days, in case there are any lumberjacks out there who might want to catch up with him. Lance wins the Nobody’s Perfect contest for this week, because Charlie Sheen, as the whole world now knows…is perfect. …..DUH.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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