Nobody’s Perfect: Marriage, Divorce, Electrocution…

Nobody’s Perfect

This week, we have the subject of matrimony and love: couples getting married, couples getting divorced, couples getting electrocuted….

First we have Lord Paul McCartney, who just got married to a very lovely and very rich woman named Nancy Shevell. Nobody Thinks that was a smart move. The last woman he married couldn’t get enough of his money. Let’s hope this one works out for him.

You have to give the man a lot of credit…after the awful mess his last marriage caused him, to dive in at his age and try again, shows he believes in the institution.  And for that, I give him a big round of applause.

Hopefully this time, they both signed pre-nups.

Paul looked years younger on his wedding day. I’m glad he is dying his hair. For a vegetarian, that must have been a hard decision, because you know, all those chemicals could melt into his brain and cause his liver to fail because he doesn’t eat meat. (Nobody made that up.)

And any woman who loves gardenias in my book, shows class. They are MY favorite flower.

They looked like the perfect couple, unlike this next couple.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.

Now……. I don’t mean to criticize anyone’s choice in men, (Wait…of course I do, it’s too much fun!) but when Demi divorced Bruce Willis and married Ashton Kutcher I thought she had some kind of problem—NOT because he was so much younger than her, but because he seemed like such a …what’s the words? College boy.

Demi also collects Barbie dolls and has a house just to show them all off. So you have to wonder…what did they have in common? Nobody Wonders  if they will all go on their fabulous vacations after the divorce? Bruce, Ashton, Demi and her new future boyfriend.

Do we care?

No, we don’t, but Nobody Cares about the next couple from Pennsylvania: Joseph Russell and April Carter.

Why? Because THEY hold the common nobodies card of love for the future.

Police say a western Pennsylvania couple desperate for money to pay for their wedding netted just $18 for the stolen copper wire they cut from more than a dozen utility poles. North Sewickley police say 23-year-old Joseph Russell and 24-year-old April Cater cut down the wires on August 9, four days before their wedding. Russell says he was desperate for money because he’d just lost his job and lost a $1,000 deposit after his reception hall abruptly closed down.

That’s got to be love. I don’t care how much Paul and Nancy think they might love each other, I doubt if he would EVER climb a pole and steal copper wire just to marry her, and for good reason too. Another couple that were not so lucky climbed up a pole and paid for it.

A man died as he and a female partner tried to steal copper wire from an electrical vault in South Gate on Saturday afternoon, police said. The woman tried to pull him away from the vault when it caught fire and exploded, but the electricity traveled through her body and she received severe burns. Two small children were found in a truck 15 feet from the accident but were not injured.

There you go…desperate times call for desperate measures. Leave the kids in the car.

What did we learn from these three mistakes?

1. Don’t marry the first amputee that comes along after your wife dies.

2. Don’t marry the first young and sexy man who beds you right after your painful divorce.

3. If you don’t have enough money for a wedding, don’t climb up a pole and steal copper wiring…go on Oprah and beg for money.

What’s that you say? Oprah doesn’t have a show anymore? Well, just wait. She coming back because her cable show is losing money big time.

Anyway, maybe Lord Paul or Demi Moore will see you on the show, and send you the money you need.

At least you’ll be alive to enjoy it.

October 10, 2011 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | British, Entertainers, marriage | divorce, Humor, love, marriage, money