‘President’ Obama Talks to Easter Bunny

Nobody Wins

For his Easter message, Obama has come out and tried to tell us all, just how much strength he gets from Jesus, because you see…Obama said this:

“Like us, Jesus knew doubt. Like us, Jesus knew fear, It puts in perspective our small problems relative to the big problems he was dealing with. It gives us courage, it gives us hope. We all have experiences that shake our faith. There are times we question God’s plan…but that’s precisely when we should remember Jesus’ own doubts and eventually his triumph.”

Obama likes to talk about Jesus, especially on Easter: Last year, he said this:

“I wanted to host this breakfast for a simple reason — because as busy as we are, as many tasks as pile up, during this season, we are reminded that there’s something about the resurrection — something about the resurrection of our savior, Jesus Christ, that puts everything else in perspective,” he said. “We all live in the hustle and bustle of our work. And everybody in this room has weighty responsibilities, from leading churches and denominations, to helping to administer important government programs, to shaping our culture in various ways.”

The Easter Bunny, who was standing next to him…had to interpret what Obama told since ‘Presidents’ have speechwriters. According to the real Easter Bunny, who was hiding in the bush next to Obama, Obama turned to the FAKE Easter Bunny and said this:

“You know …I’d like to tell Jesus, he had it good. He didn’t have a lot of nasty Republicans out to crucify him every single day. They want to nail me to the cross. I think, that…well, I could be Jesus. I’m a whole lot like Jesus, because nobody seems to realized just how hard it is to be President. I didn’t make this mess. And uh..uh…I have plans to fundamentally change the world…HELL, I could SAVE the world, just like Jesus, don’t they get that? These stupid hicks in the United States are making it hard to do what I need to do. I can’t pay attention to that crummy Constitution, and I’m getting tired of tiptoeing and reading teleprompters. I want to really say what I want, when I want. Hell, what’s wrong with these people? Too many people are clinging to their guns and bibles. I glad they think that Jesus was a swell guy, in fact, he was a lot like me. I know I’ve been picked to save the world, but it’s just going to take time. ….(pause) ….That’s why I need all the help of the church. I want all the priests in every Sunday Easter Service to get on my message. Tell them they need to get their congregation to vote for ME…uh..because I have suffered like Jesus…That’s how I’m going to get the votes I need. Tell them to tell the people in that I…I’m being crucified, just like Jesus. Tell them that they will STARVE because they won’t get any more money from me, unless they get those lazy Sunday home fried chicken-eating idiots out to the voting booths. Jesus…I only have so many buses. I want that repeated every Sunday until election day, and I mean it.”

(Fake Easter Bunny shakes his head, yes. REAL Easter Bunny burps.)

“I want to feed the poor blacks, the hungry, the Muslims, and I need another four years to get my important government programs set in stone. So, uh..remember that on Easter…now, Joe…take off that silly bunny suit, and go get me a Latte. ”

(Nobody Wins when your President starts thinking he’s Jesus.)

April 5, 2012 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | humor, Obama | Easter, Humor, Joe Biden, Marxist, Obama