Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

The Olympics and London’s Big Baby

Nobody’s Opinion

I was going to say something last week about the London Olympic opening ceremony, but really…it left me speechless. It looked like Prince Charles threw up his nightly nightmares onto a big stage and we were all pushed inside his head. The man who put all those little global warming “messages” in his big production, sure didn’t think twice about exposing the thousands in the audience to giant smokestacks belching out sulfuric gas, did he now?

But it was Danny Boyle, not the Prince,  who produced and created everything he thought about England into one big overwhelming polemical statement.

So let me get this straight: Britain went from tending goats, to slaves working in the steel mills, to taking care of sick kids, to party, party, party.  

Huh? That’s not what we think about when Americans  think of England. We think of Shakespeare, NOT Mary Poppins. The Magna Carta, NOT Alice in Wonderland. Henry the VIII, WWI, WWII, Oxford, and Education, and…Kings, and Kings, and more Queens, and Lords.

Forget all that…it was all about those dirty, working, unhappy, slave of a people, who only have sick kids, who grow up and do nothing but text their cell phones while they wander around the city lost.

During  the celebration of the great Health Care System,  you learned those were the REAL nurses and doctors out there dancing. Nobody was wondering who was manning the great British health care system while they were all dancing around? If some poor ‘bloke’ cracked his head practicing that night on the balance bar, he would have to wait for the performance to be over to get a doctor to stitch him up.

Good think Mr. Bean was there to save my mind from exploding.

Come on…How come nobody has made the remark that Prince Charles is about as orgasmic about a tree as any fool on the planet? Nobody Thinks he has a bit to play in this somehow. The BIG tree in the middle was right out of his head. You can’t tell me Mr. Boyle didn’t get a few marching suggestions from the Prince.

And so, the Hobbit land of perfect people, started polluting the earth, and women and men were slaves to the industrial revolution, so England lets China do all the dirty work now…and evolved into its most glorious gift to the world…Universal Healthcare ..and pop  music.

And all of England has sick kids, who have nightmares, while their nurses go out and dance, while their teenagers run all over the city trying to pick each other up with cell phones.

Makes me just want to hop a plane and go to— I’m sorry…Hawaii.

When a giant baby appeared at the end of the ‘hospital” scene..the commentator over here said, ” Well, that’s just creepy.”

It looked like a giant Chucky in cobwebs. What? Are the babies too big in England?

The Queen’s part was fun…her dogs were adorable. And she really was lovely. But they made fun of her anyway. Her subjects were mad because she dared to pick at her nails. Really. She jumped out of a plane, give her a break.  

I tend to notice the little things. Okay, I read too much into the little things. Like the shots of Michelle Obama were SO fast, if you blinked you would have missed it. She had some young black man standing next to her.. and oops…who was he?

Mitt Romney, on the other hand and his wife, had a nice long camera shot…as if to say, “Look, here is your next President.” Which makes me wonder…is it already locked in?   

And then, we had Paul. Nobody criticizes Paul McCartney, but really…I couldn’t believe he went into that old show biz thing where you get the boys to sing and then the girls. I know he did it because he was losing his voice,..but he should have done Live and let Die, ..and then rocked out…instead of “Hey Jude” He had a packed house of young people, from a “entertainers” point of view “Hey Jude” was NOT the song toend the night with.

But then again…maybe he had orders not to wake the big baby.

The “flame” really was quite creative and worth the wait.  Nobody could figure out what the heck all those kids were carrying. Beckham was a bit much.  Nobody Wonders what all those volunteers REALLY got for volunteering? You can bet they got something. Probably free food. They were probably all out of work.


I still can’t make neither head nor tales of the whole thing, so I decided you should read an observation from a real Brit who…says she knows:  

But we, in Britain, knew what it added up to, despite its baffling moments: it was Boyle’s impassioned poem of praise to the country he would most like to believe in. One that is tolerant, multicultural, fair and gay friendly and holds the principles of the welfare state stoutly at its heart. One that is simultaneously silly and earnest, mainstream and subversive, “high” and “low” in its culture.

Right…high, and low—I wonder…will they dare take down that tree? And where is that big baby going to sleep tonight? Is there room in the Tower?


July 30, 2012 - Posted by | olympics | , , ,


  1. Yes, the pub-crawl is to happy English fellows as the circle-jerk is gay American wankers. We have Real Ale instead of gnats pee.


    (Historical aside…. In Coventry – where I come from – there was a famous ‘mile’ of the Foleshill road that had 97 pubs. The Germans bombed every one on the first night of the Blitz. Clearly they were jealous of our beer.)


    Comment by amfortas | September 30, 2012 | Reply

  2. The Olympics in London were occultic rituals and it tells a story.


    Comment by Anonymous | September 28, 2012 | Reply

  3. Had to laugh as I read this and have to agree. What a let-down for the poor audience.


    Comment by ljclayton | July 30, 2012 | Reply

  4. PC. That ‘baby’ was left behind by a single mum while she went clubbing.


    Comment by Amfortas | July 30, 2012 | Reply

  5. OK, I have to say it.

    It was an apalling mess depicting black chaps as early pioneers of the Industrial Revolution and now the mainstay of everything from choirs of sick kiddies to the ubiquitous British ‘Rapper’.

    I have little or northing (ok, again, a little only) against black folk but their contribution to the 5000 years of British history was ziltch. Nada. Nuffink.

    The entire ‘theme’ was as PC as one can get without having Karl Marx in the British Library plotting the overthrow of the west.

    But hey Jude – and Joy – knock off blaming Prince Chuck. I doubt he has any input at all apart from suggesting grass.

    Where were the REAL multicultural mobs that made Britain? Not a Roman sandal nor a horney Danish metal hat to be seen. No Angles, no Saxons, no Normans. Crikey they could at least have had a small cage of frogs paraded around. Not even a Brian.

    And the ‘nonebrities’ they did parade were the face of the most fatuous aspects of Britain one could think of. Geriatric Paul McCartney !! Gordon Bennett. I was expecting to see Heather Mills hobble out to represent Gender Equality. And Mr friggin’ Bean, the most unfunny cloddish representative of British humour, yet no Monty Python !!

    But acres and achers of ‘pop’ clods, warbling their three notes amid their shouting and screetching. They represent the modern British age, alright. Britain has dumbed down to infantilism just to avoid senility.

    And that ‘Ceremony’ showed it.

    The ONLY bright moment came when the Indian Team marched on…. with a strange woman that no-one knew, walking with them. Heck, it was her body and she could do what she wanted with it.


    Comment by Amfortas | July 30, 2012 | Reply

    • HA! Well…I have listened to Mr. Chuck goes to his favorite ‘tree’ and he talks about his “tree” and then his grasses and his gardens and his earth and maybe Danny and Charles don’t even know each other, but it was painful to see those poor people having to carry REAL heavy rolls of sod off the main stage. On the good side, I just learned that over in England it’s a tradition to go on a pub run. Where you with your friendsfrom pub to pub and drink for 24 hours… Good to know! Where’s THAT Olympic sport? England would have a good go against the Germans and the American college kids.

      Joyanna Adams



      Comment by joyannaadams | July 30, 2012 | Reply

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