No Big Gulps Will Be Allowed in Your Mini-Unit

Nobody Wins

When the social engineers get together, they have visions of a future where ALL the money is at the top. So, they have to figure out how to house the millions that are going to be coming across the border to fill up the cities, because these people are going to be working as dish washers for the rich, for the rest of their lives…at the bottom. Housing prices being what they are in New York— it presents a problem.

The great Michael Bloomberg has come up with a solution: it’s called the Mini Unit. Basically…it’s a dog house.

A dog house where a big gulp would create a disaster, because the space is so small if you spilled it on your bed, your TV would fry.

It got to be tough to be an elite. They all share so much guilt.  They have mansions on every shore, in every nation, and darn it, they want to help stuff that little guy into the city. After all, according to the masters of the universe, they have to deal with global warming whether the rest of the planet wants to believe in it or not. So the answer is: get those people stuffed into the cities. Get them out of the John Wayne wide open country, where they can own acres of their own land, and own cows that fart.

Which is why the United States keeps buying up all the land it can afford, along with Ted Turner. Seed clouds and cause floods, start fires, manipulate the weather…anything to get those people with all those lovely suburban homes..to move. It’s a hard job, but somebody got to do it so save the planet.

The object is to get everyone BACK…into the cities, and make it a very hip thing to do!

Japan has got us beat in this market. Since they have all those people stuffed into that little island, they came up with the answer: The Japanese Mini apartment. It has just enough room for you to lay down and sleep. After all, work is your main priority in life, so why does the Japanese man or woman need a garden, or even a kitchen? All they need to do is work. In the U.S. they are making sure you have enough room to watch TV. Because TV is important. How else are you going to know what you are suppose to think about? Besides, most of us are three times the size of the Japanese who eat nothing but fish.

Well, somebody has goofed in this marketing project to stuff all of humanity into little dog houses,  because in the latest issue of Psychology Today I came upon an article which contained a few important facts about why people don’t want to live in the city. I truly hope this doesn’t get out:

1. Higher buildings have a negative effect on the way we handle the daily grind. In evolutionary terms, we don’t like to be in a lot of tall buildings because we dislike enclosed spaces because they made it difficult for our ancestors to spot threats. (Nope, you can’t see that politicians coming at you when you live on the 85th floor.)

2. Nobody likes everything looking the same. A varied landscape may help create a sense of exploration, discovery, and engagement. (In other words, put everyone in the same cubicle, that will stop them from thinking about how we are going to be making them all even dumber.)

3. Nature is known to have a calming effect on the mind. More greenery may help people regain focus after a frenetic day. (Right, after work, go take a walk down the block, and maybe you’ll see a potted palm in the lobby of the Trump Hotel)

Do you see where this will be taking humanity?

You see, living in the city isn’t what it’s carved up to be. It’s the reason the whole nation moved out to the suburbs. We happen to be animals…and love nature. I swear to god, the REAL reason I never became the first Madonna is because when I went out to Los Angles to make it famous, I just HAD to leave. Finding a tree in Los Angles is like trying to find a Christian in Mecca. Fame and fortune were not worth depriving myself of years of my beloved trees.

We grew up around nature.  You would think the rich elites would understand that it’s important to our nature to all live in small towns, where we can feel as one with our land. Just ask Ted Turner. He owns land in nine states, and most of the state of Utah, where he manages to furnish it all with all the wildlife he can muster.

People are not allowed.

The future social engineers want us all to move back into the city, and they are working hard to make everyone “gay” and “single” so that, they have a nation of lonely idiots feeling really lucky to be a part of the collective hive. And so…voila! The NYC Mini Unit is being promoted by Michael Bloomberg as the future of New York.

And what IS the future of New York?

It will no longer be called the Big Apple. Nope, in the future it will be known as Bloomberg’s Mini-nut farm. And he will STILL be there as head nut.

May 15, 2013 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | Global Government, Uncategorized | democrats, globalization, Humor, Michaell Bloomberg, Mini Housing