Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

P.T.S.D.: Post Trump Sex Disorder and How to Cure it.

Nobody Wonders

You might wonder: Joyanna, how can you be so…weird? Where do you come up with some of these wild conspiracies?

If you must know,  I make it a point to read every day, and I make it a point to read a wide variety. I read in the morning, in the bathroom, in my office, online, in the car, in my bed, sitting at the doctor’s office, dental chairs, billboard signs, etc.. I read so much I’m surprised my eyeballs haven’t got permanent type marks engraved on my eyeballs.

I thought I was the only nut who did this, until I read that Alvin Toffler, the grand master of progressive social engineering, the author of “Future Shock”… said he did the same thing…. only he only read various world newspapers every day. (Boring)

What have I learned? Enough to know that the printing world has been taken over by demons.

It doesn’t matter what you read nowadays, or where you read it. It could be in a cooking book, a book on space, how to clean out your closet….no matter:  it’s all about trashing President Trump.

For instance, the editor of Vanity Fair, Graydon Carter, is single-handily the most vicious attacker in print. He makes Time Magazine look like Readers Digest in big print, when it comes to the subject of Trump.

And since Trump announced his candidacy, Carter has been on a rampage of rancor against the President and everyone in his administration.

He hates him.

Here’s a sample from one of his editorials:

“His presidency is effectively doomed…it’s only a question now of how and when it will end. Treason? Impeachment? Incapacity? Until that day, you should be forgiven if you think you are suffering from extreme, full blown P.T.S.D. President Trump Stress Disorder. You are not alone.”

You know, nobody thought he would win, so sorry Carter, you lost.

Still, I was surprised when I was flipping through Cosmopolitan Magazine, and discovered how the editors there were concerned about P.T.S.D.

In Cosmo’s P.T.S.D —stress becomes ‘sex’. And according to Cosmo, there seems to be less sex happening all over the United States:

Are you, dear girl, not feeling the urge? Here’s their answer:

“Could it be PTSD? But not the kind you’re thinking of: If you haven’t been suffering from Post Trump Sex Disorder. It’s a sudden and swift aversion to sex caused by the anger, fear, and confusion you’re absorbing from the current political climate.”

How does Cosmos solve this problem? (Let’s ask Hillary!) They say: All you need to do to conquer this lack of sexual interest is to go and protest.

“Protests are powerful…and they can be a great aphrodisiac”

Who knew?

Yes, the liberals are telling kids if they go to protests against that horrible President, they might feel the desire to get laid, and then they will feel better. I was waiting for them to suggest having sex on a cop car, or instead of throwing pee in bottles they could throw wads of condoms and dildos.

Too bad. They didn’t give details.

But Joyanna, you say….These are liberal magazines, what do you expect? Especially when the next page they ask, “ I know I’m supposed to pee after sex, but what about after using my vibrator?”

(I say, dip your vibrator in glue, or better yet, hot sauce mixed with glue.)

Good god. If you even need a vibrator, then obviously, you are not protesting in the right place.

Try Berkeley. You might get lucky and run into Bill Ayers. The sex could be explosive!  In fact, I suggest you go up to him and say, “Are you glad to see me, or is that an explosive in your pocket?” (sorry)

Anyway, back to Greydon. Carter. 

One of the things that annoys Carter is the fact that when Trump stands up…he does NOT button his suit. Why…every man with any class and intelligence KNOWS that you MUST button your suit upon standing, or else…you are…a moron and not worthy.

As I wondered how Carter could even CLAIM to be an intellectual after complaining in his editorial about the horrible sin that President Trump does not button his suit, being as that makes him sound like a petty jealous girly moron about the age of 14, I came upon THIS in AARP:

A little smidgen about ties on page 9, AARP’s latest issue:

TIE VOTE: No doubt, our new president defies convention to politics. But also in fashion. Some detractors have noted this refusal to follow the modern norms of tie length. President Trump likes to wear them an inch or more below the belt. “We propose an amendment.”

Gee..AARP is sorely concerned that Trump’s tie is too long.

All this complaining from liberal dip wads makes me want to put on a suit, with a man’s tie hanging down to my knees, and take a picture of myself, a vibrator in one hand, sitting on the toilet with anti-bacterial lotion in the other, with a sign behind me that says:

THIS is how you cure your ugly ass, and finally get laid! 

(And these people call themselves intellectuals.)

Here’s the good news: Graydon Carter just quit. Why? He didn’t want to have to fire people, because Vanity Fair has to downsize due to the fact that readership has fallen off the planet.

AARP? They were the ones who pushed Obamacare in the first place. Thanks a lot AARP. Really, now about more articles on HOW TO GET RID OF IT!!!

This really is a shock. I’m sorry. I know it’s been going on for a long time but… REALLY? They have to label the hatred of the President with P.D.S.T, and make it sound like a venereal disease— and THEN spread it around the publishing universe?

Very Clever.

That’s why I’m going to my own protest: I’ve got an old copy of Huckleberry Finn. I’m going to take it down off the shelf, and READ it.

And after reading that, I plan to have REAL sex.

Don’t tell the kids.

September 12, 2017 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

   

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