Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

When It Rains: Don’t Call Us

Nobody Cares

What’s that saying? When it rains it pours?

Last March, it DID pour here in Missouri…it didn’t stop raining for 7 days straight. Whole towns were flooded out, and this was before Texas got hit with Hurricane Harvey. Still, it’s been flooding here since the great Mississippi was formed and NOBODY was here but the beavers.

Who cares about Missouri? Nobody.

Mark Twain remembers traveling on the Mississippi in the flood of 1844, and how the cows would NOT move away from the water. He thought that was the stupidest thing he ever saw, and just how dumb do you have to be to stand in the flood and drown? Dumb cows.

Pretty stupid.

Feeling like a stupid cow trying to suck up water that got higher each minute, I decided to call my insurance company.

And one thing insurance companies are NOT…are stupid. Most of them do not cover floods, and if you want flood insurance you have to practically give them a kidney to pay for it. I once ask an insurance agent why they didn’t cover floods, and he told me it was because they couldn’t compete with FEMA flood insurance. But you have to live in a flood plain to GET that kind of insurance.

We live on very high ground, so nobody would insure us. Not that we EVER thought we would need it. Our house is so high on a hill, I can actually see Russia from my house!

Just kidding. I CAN see Illinois. Close enough.

But back to my flood story: By day three of the great Missouri Noah rain of 2017, I noticed that all the rugs in the basement were starting to look like my washing machine before the spin cycle. Day four, I spent 6 hours with one of those water vacuums, but, by day SIX, I was sloshing through ankle deep mush. The carpet was completely ruined. And the walls. Much of the furniture.

Then came the mold.

Then the call to the insurance company who said: Sorry. Too bad. Have a nice day!

That was in MARCH.

They said that they only cover ‘acts of God’ but isn’t a 7-day flood of nonstop rain an ‘act of God?” I don’t remember that ever happening here in my lifetime.

I mean, we were on a HILL, and the water level rose past the hill and over the top of our basement!

Flash forward to August. Our 64’ big screen broke. The one we snuggle up to at night to enjoy mostly old reruns of Supernatural. To replace with the same size would take a gall bladder donation.

I don’t have one to give. So, it sits in our living room, because nobody wants it. My husband had to give up his Gaming TV.

We would take the old one apart, but I’m rather fond of it. I go by it and pat it when I can.

We Americans…we do suffer.

A few days ago, our double oven died. Those babies aren’t cheap.

So, we went to Sears to buy one, and the salesman said the one we wanted…we would have to go to Indiana to get it and bring it back ourselves.

Right.

We ended up buying the oven ONLINE. We didn’t WANT to buy online, but, there you go. I’m beginning to think the real conspiracy is the stores are FORCING their retail stores to close so that they don’t have to pay labor costs.

And here I thought it was the economy, stupid.

Not to complain about things, but last weekend, our big custom patio sliding door…smashed into little pieces. Oh…the “tempered” glass doesn’t fall down, but…it’s only a matter of time…before it falls.

It takes up a whole wall, right next to our bed.

God bless duct tape. We duck taped it together, because, that’s a BIG HOLE! And it’s freezing outside.

Winter is coming. But, everyone says they are backed up, and can’t put in a door until—-

Wait for it: February. The coldest month of the year.

So, what does Joyanna do?

She calls about 10 different contractors, and ask for them to come give me bids, and today, three guys from Sears came out to give us their bid.

They were the nicest guys you’d ever want to meet, and they were here for 3 hours, and the price, which they keep from telling us, just to keep us in suspense …was $11,000.

WTH? Say what!?

But, we could put it on our property taxes. (Gee thanks. Just what I want to do.)

I said, “You do realize you guys are about $6,000 over everybody else?”

Nobody said a word.

And then I asked the questions: “How long have you guys been with Sears?

The first guy said, he’d been with them a month. He was an ex-Navy guy, served on many tours in Afghanistan, and had to come home. But he missed traveling the world, and evidently brought a Vietnam girl home with him…and he loved to eat HER food, because she was tiny and didn’t eat much, and so he got all her leftovers. His favorite story of Afghanistan was when some nice Muslims brought them a boatload of chicken…his fondest memory.

He wore a size 15 shoe.

The second guy had been with Sears for maybe three months. He was from Chicago. And you could tell, he’d wish he was back there.

The third guy was an X-marine. He was there to offer us the option to put it on our property taxes. I actually like him the best. He was smart enough to know we won’t stupid.

We were NOT…cows.

But, here’s the thing. Our boys are coming home from wars and getting lame jobs with places like SEARS, where the chances of them getting someone to pay $11,000 for one door is almost as impossible as Murphy’s law disappearing from the planet forever.

What does that tell you?

Exactly.

Illegals are making the money. Our brave Americans are fighting wars just to come home to trying to sell patio doors that nobody has the money to afford.

What did I learn from all this? When it takes 3 months to get a patio door fixed in the middle of winter in American, and aging soldiers who have fought in too many wars can’t find a decent job in America…you realize just how *$&% up America really is. If anybody is being discriminated against it’s the America soldier.

Nobody Thinks…. we all need wet suits.

November 8, 2017 Posted by | Globalization | , | Leave a comment

   

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