Nobody’s Perfect: ME
Okay. This is going to be humbling, but not too long ago, things in my life got pretty disturbing.
My husband and I were just not getting along, so yeah, I fell in love with a man online. Realize this is very common as many of us spend hours on the computer. So, being myself, I decided to find out WHAT the hell was wrong with ME. After all, I always blame myself first no matter what. And that’s not good. It makes you wake up each day and …say, “It’s just another day in the life of myself.”
This man online made me feel alive. Pretty, wanted. Whereas after 32 years of marriage, we were at that standstill. No grandchildren, so we got dogs. I then realized that “Hey, he is so happy with those dogs, he’s has never ever shown me that much affection…maybe he never really loved me.”
He was running all over the house, happy as a little boy in a water park, playing Marco Polo with his buds.
Well, God jumps in when you need him doesn’t he? I got this book, which is the way I deal with any kind of pain: find answers…go read.
What Could He Be Thinking? How a Man’s Mind REALLY Works.” By Michael Gurian
WOW. EVERY MAN AND WOMAN IN THE WORLD...should read this book.
He explains right off the bat, how really different our brains are wired. And how hormones play such a big vital role in our relationships. How women get frustrated if men are not romantic, and how men really do bond with the sex act. How he is wired to compete, focus on ‘performance.
Here is a few examples from the book about the Performance Imperative: He claims that the biological male foundation is laid for a performance imperative:
*****
The workaholic man. The man competing constantly. The man pushing his child to be his or her best. The man who sacrifices his life for others based on a suprme principle he believes in. The man who believes he is worthless unless he feeds his family. The man who sits watching a sunset, but only for a moment, then moves back to his job. (Yes, testorsterone…it’s real.)
*****
First, I thought well yeah: Women still want the hero, the provider, the Prince that comes to save her. AND YET…that’s a high gate for most men to jump over, especially now. I remember my best friend Shelly and I went to Disneyland in California back in the 70’s. And we were sitting on the steps of Sleeping Beauty’s castle, and watching the crowds exit at midnight. We talked about how we had been sold the story of the man coming to rescue you by Disney. How it was a big lie. Looking back on it now, I realize that’s the trouble with a lot of the male/female relationships now…as females we were raised on these Disney themes. Life isn’t like that. Many times the man just has too much on his mind to remember, doesn’t mean he does not love you…it’s just he is wired to keep his own stress from the day from not spilling over. Now the men play video games…go right pass the wives, and take out the day’s stress…it works.
Recently, I watched a video on Youtube, where Elon’s Musk’s first wife talked about how they lost their first son to CIDs. And she wanted to talk about it and he didn’t. What SHE didn’t know is that he dare not talk about it. He had companies to run. Men’s brains are designed NOT to talk about such a painful event. Women on the other hand MUST. She didn’t know his brain. He was suffering just as much as she was, but to talk about it would have destroyed him. She should have talked about it to a girlfriend or mother, or anybody but him. Emotions are not registered well in a man’s brain. They are just not wired for it. This book explains the male’s brain in scientific terms…and how hormones play a big part, and how the woman’s brains are always lit up.
WE ARE SO DIFFERENT.
The feminist movement has done more to damaged so many things that are now called woke. And that was a political movement DONE to destroy the family. And that’s another blog.
I just gave you jsut a taste of the book. It devles deeply into the facts of our physical differences, facts that cannot be ignored. And yet, they are.
In conclusion, I have been thinking all along that my husband didn’t love me. After reading this book, I can’t blame it all on him. Maybe I didn’t love him? Maybe this man I met online was a wakeup call to reexamining my life…and trying to understand..why both men and woman should try to understand the real reason’s we can’t seem to live up to each other’s expectations. And he goes into great detail.
So, I’m sorry that at my age, I didn’t read this book sooner. Many couples figure this stuff out, and live until “death do they part.” I didn’t. I have just been on cruise control. Not really living.
I’m just sad that I didn’t wake up to these facts earlier, back when Shelly and I were sitting on the steps of Disney’s Castle.
But then again…fairy tales sometimes do come true. Men have porn, women have fairy tales of romance…maybe that’s what keeps us all being able to stand each other.
Or not. (Maybe we just need to all chill.) And remember…mother nature knows best.
After all, want to see what a REAL man can do? (See below)
Ladies…watch and enjoy. When you can watch a REAL man build this world…love him for that. Because baby, it will make the world all that much better. And remember, he is also doing it for you. Be proud to be a woman. It’s okay to feel those emotions, but remember…mother nature is still here…no matter what woke agenda they are pushing on us all.
Nobody’s Perfect: ME
Nobody’s Perfect
I just saw my girlfriend Rosa, from Puerto Rico. Her and her husband drove to Wisconsin to attend her son’s wedding, so we watched the dog. They came over tonight to pick up CHICO, and she showed me the wedding pictures and I had to ask her…was that a SnapChat one?
Most of them were.
Rosa introduced me to this app. You put it on your phone, and you can pick all kinds of effects. And some of these effects can make you look like the movie star you are NOT.
Any woman that spent 30 minutes putting on makeup, can tell you, it takes time to correct imperfections. This app puts makeup on you in seconds and you can instantly send it to your friends.
The picture above is Smapchat. It’s called “glamerous.”
And there I was: Hooked on selfies: “Why I look ten years younger!” I would tell myself. And then I realized that all these models you see on TV, splashed on the front cover of magazines…must have the same tech to make THEM look beautiful. What do they REALLY look like I wondered.
Tonight I looked at my phone and saw I had taken almost 100 Snapchats of myself.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!” I said to myself.
“Are you crazy?!”
So, I decided to get rid of them. And then I thought, it’s one thing for an older woman to try to make herself look younger, what happens to all those young girls who spend hours on social media getting depressed because they don’t look like Taylor Swift?
Some commit suicide.
Last summer, some of the old gals at the pool had this app, and they looked 30 years younger. All winkles are erased, and then I thought…there’s a danger here. Some of them started believing they really looked like that. Sort of how liars start believing the lies they tell all the time.
Liar Joe Biden could use a Snapchat.
I thought of dating sites. Men AND woman could be sending out these pictures…and show up and maybe NOT look like the picture the man or woman thought they were going to meet. Not good.
We have become a nation of youth, and beauty. And the population now is growing very old, being replaced gleefully by a younger invasion of NOT WHITE, as the elites so joyfully express. And yet, when was the last time you actaully saw a girl like THIS at the pool?
And yet, we have VERY old politicians.
Go figure.
Anyway, this tech is here to stay. And what do we do about it?
I’m hoping more of the elites and professionals who use this tech admit it. In the latest Indianna Jones movie they admitted they used tech to make Harrison Ford look younger. He did many interviews and looked his real age. I think more movie stars should do that.
Yep.LOL…No glamour…just a smile.
Yeah…I prefer the first one too.
Still…I wasn’t born pretty. And my mother never put beauty of any importance, so when I had buck teeth as a child, she told me…not to smile. “Stop it! She would yell at me.” Try living your childhood NOT smiling. I do a lot of it now.
She would also say: “You walk like a farmer.” So, I never thought I was ‘pretty’ in any way, and in this world where all men love beauty, it was a curse to grow up thinking you’d never be beautiful.
I look back now at my old pictures and think “Gee, I wasn’t THAT bad!” But it didn’t do me any good then, and much to my mother’s delight…she was happy that I didn’t become a ‘snobby’ bitch.
“Remember. There will ALWAYS be somebody better than you no matter how good you get at anything!”
She loved to say that. Well, why the hell try? I laugh at it now, but not a big confidence builder my mother.
My mother looke a lot like John Adams so I see her reasoning now.
Still we all love beauty, and the wisest of us know that beauty is also what comes out from inside.
In that respect, while the second picture is truly me..the first one shows the feelings from my soul through my eyes.
So, what to do? Men can stare at porn for hours, and never meet that dream woman. What do I do?
LOL…I’m getting rid of all those pictures. Nevertheless, I learned from Rosa…why get plastic surgery when you can just put an app on your phone?
What will they think of next?
Now, someone please me if there is a body makeover app…
Calling Mr. Speilburg…..I’m ready for my closeup.
True Love Stories
Nobody Remembers….
Do you remember the first true love of your life? I was thinking about this today…I remember a year before my mother died, she made a request to me…would I find out where Herbert was? He was her first true love. Her first husband. All those years with my father 40 years of marriage, and she never mentioned him once. Although, I did see some old photographs of him in his uniform with a lovely signature: To Janet, my love always, it said.
They were married…very young, and then the war broke out.
My father had been dead for over 40 years, so I was struck by the news, and the desperation she was in to find him. She never told me about him, but I could tell, she had loved him more than my father just by the way she mentioned his name. Like the old lady on the Titanic, Rose, she remembered, and never told a soul, until me, her daughter, until that night.
As she laid in her bed, wearing her flowered printed nightgown, holding her cup of ice, she told me the story of how Herbert had been injured in the Pacific where he served on a ship in WWII. He was in a hospital bed in California, and she was only 18, but she booked a train ticket to travel from St. Louis to San Franscisco where he was laid up. She told me how frightened she was. She was just a bit of a girl, only 4 feet 5 inches. Some of the soldiers were rather…rude.
It must have been scary for a young woman to travel all that way alone by train, but women have done much the same in history. John Quincy Adams wife, Louisa, traveled alone through Russia to get to her beloved during the winter, in a carriage. That’s a LONG trip, and back then for an English woman traveling alone, very dangerous.
Love will make you do that.
When she got there, a priest came out and took her aside before she went into the room.
“Whatever you do” he told her. “Do NOT give him a divorce. Don’t do it. He will push you, but don’t do it.” Mom told me the priest begged her not to do it. “No matter what he says.” The Priest was firm. And adamant.
When she went inside, her beloved told her he wanted a divorce, go home. Never see him again. He must have been very cruel.
She cried and cried, and refused to leave, but what she didn’t know, is that HER father had somehow called Herbert and convinced him to force her to divorce him. For some reason, maybe because of whatever injury he suffered, he thought, because he loved her, that it was the best thing to do for her.
My grandfather wanted MY mother to take care of him in his old age. At least that’s what my mother told me when she was 77. He was the real cause of the breakup.
So, to my surprise, I found Herbert. He had a farm in Southern Missouri, with a wife and seven grown children. He was still alive!
I left a message, but he never called back. I could tell, my mother was pretty sad about it.
True love. Sad ending. Most people have it as their first love.
In my case, I had a simple crush on a Priest’s son named Christopher in grade school. We were both five. In fact, the middle name I gave my only son was Christopher.
He hates it. (LOL)
We held hands in the auditorium during Christmas movies. He gave me a ring. I would look at it for hours. Back then, the teachers thought it was cute. Now? It would be considered some sort of crime. We sat there happy as little turtle doves. I felt so special, and surely God was blessing me. It was wonderful.
My husband that I am married to now, his first true love was his first wife. He joined the Navy Seals and when he was in Panama, she got together (had sex) with his best friend in Virginia Beach. This was when she had a small baby daughter in the next room by her husband who was away.
The devastation he felt was unbearable. His best friend, the wife he loved.
How did I know she was his first love? A wife knows these things. She was beautiful, young, and when we ran into her one day by chance. He fell completely apart.
You don’t do that…if you’re not still in love.
I was older, and got married, he used to come hear me sing in a hotel. He was looking for a way to take his daughter away from her, and I had a son, a house to live in, and the judge looked at me, gave us custody of his daughter, and said to ME…”Good luck.”
But the judge knew…he had seen this before.
We have been married now for 31 years.
But was he my true love? I ask myself now.
Was it mostly sex?
And what does true love feel like?
How do you know?
I will tell you…when you feel true love, you see their face everywhere. You think of them every minute…you cry, you laugh, and the most joyful part of your day is when you are near them. You hope, you plan, your dream…You only want the best for them, and if that would mean giving them up, then so be it. Your heart aches when you are not with them.
Herbert must have loved my mother very much. BUT he should have NEVER listened to her father. He should have told him to go to hell.
Of course, I would not be alive to write this, so..there’s that. But I would not have been born either, and I am now, only finding my real true love not too much younger than my mother when she remembered her husband.
And I met him online.
Life is cruel, but…
Sometimes, true love, means loving yourself enough to feel you are worthy of the true love that comes to you.
Grab hold of it with all your heart. Because…you only live once, and true love only comes once.
Am I right?
I hope you have experienced true love in your life, and even if my true love, never wants me, does a Herbert someday, at least I can say, I experienced the thrill of what it feels like to REALLY love so deeply another human being. And we did nothing wrong.
It’s written in the stars…some things are just meant to be.
Love is the answer. If you find it, grab it…and never let it go.
Or you’ll end up like my mother, lying in your bed late at night, with sadness you will carry to your grave.
By the way, I’ve told my husband, and he thinks…it’s just a silly…true love?
To him, it’s like a cold. It will pass.
(Now, If only I had a diamond necklace…I really don’t think I would throw it away. LOL)
Tell Her…She’s Pretty. It’s like Money in the Bank.
I recently came upon this discussion with Jordan Peterson about how some husbands, out of fear or control, never tell their wives they are pretty. Recently, I fell into a real duldrum. Every night my husband would come home, tired from working and the days stresses, and all he wanted to do was watch movies.
Sometimes hours on end. This was…our life.
This sitting around and doing nothing but being a couch potato basically was hard on me. Low thyroid, no gall bladder, I gained so much weight, I couldn’t fit into my old clothes anymore. I stopped buying clothes. I had two pairs of jeans, that I wore the whole winter.
And then, one day, I fell in love with a man online. It was innocent I thought. He called me beautiful. Now, sure, it might have been BS, but just because some man had noticed me, I instantly lost 20 pounds. I felt young again. I danced again.
I realized that couples, after so many years, can take each other for granted. You have to work to keep excitement going…both parties. After listening to Jordan, I then realized that all the years I had been married to my husband, I was kept in a sort of prison. We sometimes went out to eat. But that was it. And he always acted as if he didn’t care WHAT I looked like, using that as a way to get out of ever saying ‘You look pretty tonight.”
I can write this, because he has never read a post that I have ever written. And I have written at least 600 to 700 words a night for over 24 years. He didn’t care really. He loved his movies.
So…Jordan is right. Couples should keep their sex lives going, but not make it the only thing. Joy of being together, sharing pain, sharing stories, comforting…all the things you do for someone you love.
And support is the most important.
When a woman takes a lot of time to make herself up for you, guys, best to say something. In my life I have found that compliments to the one you love, even small ones like “I LOVE your laugh” ensure that that woman will stay with your forever.
We all want love. We all want to be told that love is forever.
According to Jordan, marriage is the key, becuase then when you get in a fight, you have promised to NEVER leave. To always work things out. If you are not married, you can just leave.
Divorce has given us a nation of really messed up kids. Porn is not good either.
And as Elon Musk says: we need more kids. Marriage is the greatest place to raise them. Single moms, lets fact it, some do a great job, but we do have a generation of fatherless children. And we see the results of that every day.
Anyway, that’s my two sense on the matter.
Will I forgive my husband for making sure no other man stole me away, but never giving me compliments or keeping me in a house watching movies forever?
Yes, I can forgive. But, that man online…he has helped me realize that I can be more…a
And I’ve never even met him.
In the meantime guys, take Jordan’s advice…it needs to be heard.
Tell her you love her. Whenever you can.
Happy New Year! Plungers and Roses
Nobody Wonders
Here’s one last post for 2023:
I got a call from an old friend today. She moved away some ten years ago, and now lives by a river in Tennessee. It’s always good to hear from the people you know, who except for who you were and who you are now.
We started talking about her health and then she said this:
“The strangest thing happened to me a month ago, and I’m having these strange things happen all the time.”
“What? Tell me’ I said.
“Well, you might think I’m nuts…it’s kind of gross.”
You see my friend and her husband lived on a houseboat, and one day, the toilet stopped up pretty bad, right up to the top. Houseboats have different sewage systems as you know.
She said she called her husband, because they did NOT have a plunger. She was in a panic because of being on a boat. If it spilled over, it would be a big mess. He was supposed to go out and buy one, but for some reason, he came home instead. He looked around the boat for something, and then, looked OVER the side of the boat as the river was running by, and there it was.
A plunger. Floating right by her husband, and he reached over and picked it up.
“WHAT ARE THE ODDS?” she exclaimed. “I was wishing for a plunger and there it was, right out of the river.”
Then she went on. She said one day, she wanted a single rose. Not sure why, she didn’t say, but then she said, “Guess what?”
“A one stem rose went right by the side of the boat. I picked it up. I did not do anything but WISH for it.” She spoke.
But she knew, I believed her. I told her of all my coincidences and we got pretty excited, about how the universe can just HAND you something that you truly wish…in your heart. In your mind. It’s happened to both of us. I guess it was like the phone call that comes out of the blue when you are thinking of that person, but haven’t talked to them in a long time. Like this friend of mine. She NEVER calls me. Ever. I really needed to talk to someone as I was feeling a bit lonely. Her call was all I needed…
Because you see this morning, I was listening to Glenn Beck talk about the possibility of a Nuclear War, the power of A.I. and how real it was, and then we watched a movie on Netflick, another DISASTER movie. You know one of those “you will own nothing” movies which are shown on every cable movie station? Hour after hour. Humanity is killed, etc. It’s like you are being buttered up for hopelessness. I didn’t feel particularly good after that, so yeah, my friend’s phone call was perfect timing.
This afternoon, my husband and I took one of those horse bouncing toys that kids used to get in the 1950’s, to a neighbor’s house. It’s a young couple with a really cute little boy. I had saved that horse for over 35 years. I bought it for my son, who never touched it, (Any kind of ball were his thing) and I’d had hoped for a grandchild, but that seems to be lost forever. SO…I could sell it on eBay, but why?
We gave it to the young boy…who was happy to have such a big, brand-new toy.
What did I get out of all of this? Maybe that, somewhere, somehow, in the vast empty space and time, there is a power that comes to those when they need it the most. I’ve written a few blogs about this. It’s like “When you wish upon a star” magic.
My friend needed a plunger.
Our neighbors needed a wonderful toy that they probably couldn’t have afforded.
I needed someone to save me from suicide that long dark day so long ago. (Earlier blog)
So, I’m thinking. The world is such a mess. Evil is growing everywhere. Maybe- maybe if enough of us just WISH deep in our hearts that healing comes, the evil men trying to make us all slaves to their visions of utopia for themselves, MAYBE if enough of us just desire and want that to happen, deep in our hearts, maybe by some miracle, it will.
Jesus came once upon a time, and saved the world with kindness and wisdom. He was a miracle.
Maybe…this time around…we will get…HOPE. The hope we need, because God knows, they are trying to fill us ALL with hopelessness.
Before we got off the phone, my friend kept laughing after the discussion and said,
“I SHOULD have wished to win the Lottery instead of a plunger.” And she laughed.
This Nobody has a feeling that, this strange force beyond all reasoning knows EXACLY what you need…and what’s best for you.
You might not understand it, but some people call that ‘god.’ Some call it luck.
I call it the essence of universal love from the universe itself.
Nobody Wonders…about that the most. And will we ever figure it out?
Nobody Knows.
Everybody have a safe and Happy New Year…Let’s all ‘wish’ for the best…Okay? Right.
Stroking the Sensitive Nature of …
Nobody Cares: Stroking the Sensitive Nature of “WHAT?”
I had a blog already in my mind today, and was very excited to write it, and then I called a friend about meeting for lunch. Stella is what you call the quintessence of an American woman. She’s 73, and still takes care of not only her own business, but manages her 360-acre farm, with about 40 cows, 15 chickens, a boatload of ducks, 8 horses and 6 cats. She runs her own truck business out of her house. She makes enough money to buy herself a brand-new Mercedes. (If you saw her red Corvette in an earlier post, you know she loves cars.) She rakes in hay every summer to feed the cows in the winter, she’s a one woman wonder. A rare woman indeed. She a good friend.
She plans to leave her farm to her daughter. Micky. I called today to make sure we would meet at 1, but her daughter answered the phone, and right away she started to talk to me.
“How do I convince mom to get a website for the business?” she asked me. Mom was outside. I told her I would try to talk some sense into her at lunch and then I said, “Just go ahead and build one yourself.” Because evidently, Stella was not exactly up for the idea. I gave her a few pointers, but she needs to find out herself.
She’ll do fine.
“If it draws business, your mom will just smile and say…Okay!” I told her.
It wasn’t too much longer after that, that Barb called.
“Hey, can we move the time closer to this morning?” she asked.
“Sure.” I mean, what the heck, I sometimes feel like a prisoner here at home, and I have always made my own time. My office can STAY a mess. I might grow some tomatoes.
Then she said, “Carla bumped her head in the chicken house and her speech is slurry and slow. I told her to drive herself to the hospital.”
“WHAT?” I was in shock. “You said she bumped her head and was slurring her words and YOU LET HER DRIVE?” Okay, I was a bit calmer, but I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.
“Yeah, well, at least she listened to me and took herself there.” Said mom. So proud of herself.
“Okay Stella…lunch is off. Get in your car, and hurry to that hospital. She could have had a stroke Stella, you don’t know, but you also don’t know what kind of care she will be getting. You need to be there to be in control of what’s happening.”
I was speaking from years of experience.
Stella wasn’t convinced…she thought it was just a bump on the head.
I knew that Stella had once been thrown from her horse, years ago, and was alone out in the field, and broke a lot of bones, and suffers still to this day with pain, but she refuses to let ANYBODY know it. She’s just so damn proud. Long story there, but it’s her nature. Don’t complain. Bear the pain. Be like a man. The farmers daughter grew up to make her dad proud.
I’ve had many discussions with her about how she believes she can do anything a man can do. I have to laugh, because she has a awful lot of MAN help around the farm.
So, I’m in a panic: 1st, because she LET Micky drive herself on winding country roads to the hospital, which was 20 minutes away, and 2nd, because she was still convinced, she could go about her day.
“Stella, let your phone business go for one day!” I spoke. I also know business is very slow right now. “She might have had a ministroke. My dad had many mini-strokes before his massive one. Once he fell on the golf course and they thought he was drunk. Then one day, I found him lying on the kitchen floor, and I said, “Dad, what are you doing lying there?”
“I was getting food for the dog.” He spoke. We took him to a local clinic who told us to take him to a hospital. We did. An emergency ward. He laid there from Friday night until Monday morning before he saw a doctor.
His brain had bled so severally, that they couldn’t see any brain for years.
So yeah, you have to watch them.
After I told her this, she said, “Okay, I’ll get to the hospital.”
Tonight, she just called, it’s about 8.30pm here, and told me that Micky had a stroke, her main artery in her neck was damaged, and they had her on blood thinners. And they told her she had Covid.
“For goodness’ sakes Stella, did they give her a vaccine? I talked to her on the phone and she didn’t sound sick at all. “Call her and tell her NOT to get the vaccine.”
“It will just make her sicker.” I warned.
“Okay, I’ll call her.” And then she once again, took credit for telling her to go to the hospital. Stella would NOT have gone to the hospital. In fact, she wanted to meet me for lunch. IN FACT, she then said, that they told Micky her artery would heal back…and she would just fine and “She’d better be because she has to work when I go to Africa.”
Now, here’s where ‘sensitive’ Joyanna comes in. Stella did not thank me for getting her to even GO to the hospital. I was a bit hurt by that. (that damn sensitivity)
But then I remembered that if your family has NO family history of strokes, you wouldn’t know the signs either.
My family has a history of strokes…and the history goes all the way back to JQA having a stroke on the House floor of Congress. Both my parents had hemorrhagic strokes and I took care of them at home for over 6 years. It’s the reason I quit the music business. They were both paralyzed. (Heavy smokers) Luckily, my husband had a job. We managed…but I had no sisters, or brothers to help, and they were both bedridden. My mother ended up on a stomach pump. Let’s just say it was stressful work. Dealing with all the hospital nurses, doctors, and home visits…I could write a book. A book that would rivil a Stephen King’s nightmare. (By the way, he’s become his own nightmare lately.)
I was bound and determined not to put them in nursing homes, because they took care of me when I was little, and I figured it was my turn.
So yeah, I know a lot more about strokes, hospitals, the brain, than most people.
“I’m so sorry Stella, you must exhausted.”
But no, she sounded fine. “She’s coming home Friday and she’ll be just fine.” said Stella.
I wasn’t so sure…a rip in your neck artery? Uh…how long does that take to heal?
So, I think I’ll call Micky again on Friday, and say, “Get better, and spend some time on that laptop. It’s amazing what you might find. And try not to worry your mother. I think she’s still in shock.”
“And whatever you do, don’t let her drive the tractor.”
It’s in His Kiss: HIT BY A BUS
Nobody Wonders—How many men know this? Ladies? We don’t talk about it much, but how important is that first kiss?
I was thinking about this today. Imagining what my first kiss with my imaginary lover would be like. Mmmm…The first kiss to dream of. One to blaze into the sky: writing all its power into in the hippocampus as a fluster of red-hot, soul-searching, discomposed, explosion of millions of electrons flowing from the lips to the chest, to the groins, and then down to the knees, with the mind saying in wonder: “Now I’ve truly lived.”
Have I ever experienced that kind of kiss? Mmmm…let me think.
Do you remember your first kiss Ladies? To many men, it’s a means to an end, but to ladies…I’m not sure. That first kiss is important.
My first kiss happened in the 6th grade. I was standing in the hallway, between classes, and out of nowhere came Jim Baine. My first kiss was like being hit by a Mack truck. He was an 8th grader…but he was big, and rather good looking in a masculine way. I had noticed him walking in the hallways, and thinking “Well, HE’s way out my league.” Kisses and sex were not even on my mind. (Thank God.)
And then one day, I was just standing up against the lockers, not many people in the hall, and out of nowhere, he came up, pushed me hard up against the wall, and kissed me long, and hard, with deep affection and I was like…”WTH?” And then he walked away. Neither one of us said a word.
Okay. Well. There you go. I guess that was a “kiss.” Gee. What now? If that’s a kiss, what happens NEXT? I thought. Is it like wrestling? Would I survive? LOL.
That one kiss upset the whole school. You see, somebody saw that kiss and reported it to his girlfriend. By the end of that day, that girl, the meanest girl in the school, (Pam the golden Viking Slammer) who made it known she fought with brass knuckles, had gotten together about 30 of her friends, and decided to corner me in the hall and tell me they were going to beat me up. (sigh) All I kept telling them is that it was NOT my fault, and I could care less about him. He KISSED me! I kept repeating. If not for two brave boys in my class, standing between me and the mob, I might have gotten beat up.
So, I went home and ask my dad to teach me how to fight. I’m sure the teachers found out about the ‘plan’ to get that ‘she stole my boyfriend’ mob, and they were watching them, and so the next day, they all let me know, they would get me AFTER school.
Every day I went to school, and tried to stay away from her and her friends. Every day I came home and my brother and father taught me how to fight…fist fight. We had gloves, punching bags, you name it. It took many tries before I could land a good punch.
After a while I got sick of all the tension. The two boys kept by me, and protected me as much as they could, but I knew, one day, it would happen. Those boys couldn’t protect me forever.
So, I made a plan. I found out what bus “Pam” the blond Viking Queen of the middle school gang of terror was riding home on. I knew she would be alone without her backup, and I decided to challenge her.
I got on HER bus home. She saw me. It was a fall afternoon, sunny. And I was ready.
She got off the bus. So did I. I walked behind her and kept saying, “Come on Pam..fight me here. Right now. You want to beat me up? Here’s your chance. Come on. Do it. “
Well, that girl walked so fast, I think the leaves on the ground were flowing off the pavement. She went into the future she ran so fast. She broke into a run, and acted like she never even saw me. She was….scared. I guess she didn’t have her brass knuckles with her.
What happened?
Nobody in the school ever bothered me again. Nobody talked to me much either, but that’s nothing new.
You’ve heard these same bully lessons from boys, but it works for all bullies, I guess.
I think the boys spread it around that I had boxing lessons and it scared her. She said so much bad-ass rantings about how she was going to pulverized me, that even I was surprised she ran.
I went home and told my dad, “Dad, she just ran like a scared little girl?” My dad just smiled and change the channel.
My dad did tell me one thing: He said that a little guy can take a big guy out pretty easily. He had done it plenty of times. Even though, his older brother had broken his nose three times.
“Dad, how come your nose is so crooked?” My older brother broke it three times.
“Why” He just felt like it.
That older brother died in WWII in the Pacific, in the battle of Midway.
Did my dad give me courage? Well, no–. Pam was bigger than me, and really mad.
So, my first kiss was rather. Like being hit by a bus. A bus of unintentional consequences.
I had a lot more to say tonight, about kissing, but it’s getting late, so maybe I’ll go on with this kissing subject in Part II.
Guys? Girls? Go ahead—I dare you to tell me about your first kiss.
In the meantime, I’m going back to my wonderful imagination.
Nobody’s Email: Good Thing She Said Yes…..
Nobody Gets Email
Here’s a heart-warming video, where a pilot proposes to his girl by faking an inflight emergency.
Really cute!
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Kim Komando)
Nobody’s Perfect: Marriage, Divorce, Electrocution…
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we have the subject of matrimony and love: couples getting married, couples getting divorced, couples getting electrocuted….
First we have Lord Paul McCartney, who just got married to a very lovely and very rich woman named Nancy Shevell. Nobody Thinks that was a smart move. The last woman he married couldn’t get enough of his money. Let’s hope this one works out for him.
You have to give the man a lot of credit…after the awful mess his last marriage caused him, to dive in at his age and try again, shows he believes in the institution. And for that, I give him a big round of applause.
Hopefully this time, they both signed pre-nups.
Paul looked years younger on his wedding day. I’m glad he is dying his hair. For a vegetarian, that must have been a hard decision, because you know, all those chemicals could melt into his brain and cause his liver to fail because he doesn’t eat meat. (Nobody made that up.)
And any woman who loves gardenias in my book, shows class. They are MY favorite flower.
They looked like the perfect couple, unlike this next couple.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Now……. I don’t mean to criticize anyone’s choice in men, (Wait…of course I do, it’s too much fun!) but when Demi divorced Bruce Willis and married Ashton Kutcher I thought she had some kind of problem—NOT because he was so much younger than her, but because he seemed like such a …what’s the words? College boy.
Demi also collects Barbie dolls and has a house just to show them all off. So you have to wonder…what did they have in common? Nobody Wonders if they will all go on their fabulous vacations after the divorce? Bruce, Ashton, Demi and her new future boyfriend.
Do we care?
No, we don’t, but Nobody Cares about the next couple from Pennsylvania: Joseph Russell and April Carter.
Why? Because THEY hold the common nobodies card of love for the future.
Police say a western Pennsylvania couple desperate for money to pay for their wedding netted just $18 for the stolen copper wire they cut from more than a dozen utility poles. North Sewickley police say 23-year-old Joseph Russell and 24-year-old April Cater cut down the wires on August 9, four days before their wedding. Russell says he was desperate for money because he’d just lost his job and lost a $1,000 deposit after his reception hall abruptly closed down.
That’s got to be love. I don’t care how much Paul and Nancy think they might love each other, I doubt if he would EVER climb a pole and steal copper wire just to marry her, and for good reason too. Another couple that were not so lucky climbed up a pole and paid for it.
A man died as he and a female partner tried to steal copper wire from an electrical vault in South Gate on Saturday afternoon, police said. The woman tried to pull him away from the vault when it caught fire and exploded, but the electricity traveled through her body and she received severe burns. Two small children were found in a truck 15 feet from the accident but were not injured.
There you go…desperate times call for desperate measures. Leave the kids in the car.
What did we learn from these three mistakes?
1. Don’t marry the first amputee that comes along after your wife dies.
2. Don’t marry the first young and sexy man who beds you right after your painful divorce.
3. If you don’t have enough money for a wedding, don’t climb up a pole and steal copper wiring…go on Oprah and beg for money.
What’s that you say? Oprah doesn’t have a show anymore? Well, just wait. She coming back because her cable show is losing money big time.
Anyway, maybe Lord Paul or Demi Moore will see you on the show, and send you the money you need.
At least you’ll be alive to enjoy it.
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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