Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Bill Maher, Fifth Grader

Nobody’s Opinion

Bill Maher, thinks America is stupid. What can we say to him?

1. It takes one to know one. 2. You may be right, we may be crazy, you’re proof. 3. You may be right because you think Obama is bright and so do too many others. 4. Your poor mother…can we send her something?

The one thing you can say about Bill Maher, is: that arrogant, I’m a genius, I’m clever, and everyone else on the planet is stupid is NOT an act. I think, it’s the real deal. And how sad it is, that he doesn’t even know that WE all know he needs a laugh track, because the only thing he says that is funny is…well, I can’t remember ever laughing at him. And he’s ugly to boot. You could land a small plane on his nose.

He hates Sarah Palin, and I think Sarah ought to take him on. Warm up on him, challenge him to a conversation about anything. Or Allen West. In a way, I feel sorry for the guy. If he ever walked into a bar in Texas, he might not walk out, along with another fellow we’ve all come to know…

Nobody’s Perfect: Weiner. I need say no more. The wiener word has been brought back into the America vocabulary. What was once a noun spouted by high school boys approaching puberty, is being pronounced by the most elite journalists in the land. Bill Maher, the biggest weiner on TV, thanks you.

And speaking of wieners…

Nobody’s Fool: The Rock star Bono is getting a much needed complaint from his fans. The next time he performs in concert, there will be protestors who are pretty mad about this rich guy wanting to spend taxpayers money to help the poor, but is moving his own band and his publishing business out of Ireland so as not having to pay the taxes. Oh, did you know his band is the richest in the world? I have NO idea why. Frankly, I wish he’d take Bill Maher with him. It’s another case of the rich don’t have to play by the same rules.

Nobody Cares: How many of us care that they want to outlaw Horse-drawn carriages in New York? Hey…ME! They say the whole romantic “take a ride through the park” is outdated. It’s just not as modern as hiring a man to “run” you on a rickshaw through the streets. No doubt the rickshaw guys are union. Given the choice, would you take the rickshaw or the carriage ride? Would you rather be with a horse in front of you, or a man if someone tried to rob you? I’m just saying..

And speaking of New York…

Nobody Knows what Sarah Palin and Donald Trump talked about during their Pizza session in the big city. She came away with good things to say about him, and he said he might get back in the race. If you remember, I suggested a Trump/Palin ticket, or Palin/Trump ticket, and it sounds like Sarah is realizing that the Republicans Party won’t have either of them. (Took her long enough to figure that out.) We might be looking at an independent ticket here because, we all know that ..

Nobody Wins if Mitt Romney is elected. He will keep Obamacare, and he will pass the carbon taxes.
“I believe the world is getting warmer, and I believe that humans have contributed to that. It’s important for us to reduce our emissions of pollutants and greenhouse gases that may be significant contributors.”

In fact he will do all that he is told to continue the one party globalization plans going. And speaking of globalization..

Nobody Remembers The First Charter of Virginia. Yes, King James of England said, in 1606, I’ll give anyone who want to go to America, the money, and also give you all the land:

For the space of 50 English miles all along the said coasts of Virginian and America toward the east and northeast or toward the north as the coast lies, together with all the islands within 100 miles, directly over against the said seacoast: and also all the lands, woods, soils, grounds, havens, ports, rivers, mines, minerals, marshes, waters, fishings, commodities and hereditaments, whatsoever from the same 50 miles every way on the seacoast…etc..

Uh…what a guy! I’d LOVE for someone to give me a river!

Well you get the jest. All they had to do was send him 15% of all the gold, silver, and copper they mined. That was a pretty good deal. I suggest another Charter, where our Congress gives us our land back, and our freedoms back, and we’ll dish in 15% flat tax of what we make. And this brings me to the subject of land.

Nobody Wonders: The big argument in the world is that the Jews should give back the land of their ancestors. The Jews are once again being prosecuted, with our President leading the way. Glenn Beck couldn’t stop crying last week with the thought of the Jews being exterminated. I thought they were going to have to cart him off in a gurney…And you have to wonder, what does he know that we don’t?

Nobody Thinks: A lot….if you ask me, but then again, according to Bill Maher, I’m stupid. Too stupid to even watch him.
And that’s an ignorance I can be proud of.

June 5, 2011 Posted by | Global Government, Middle East, Obamacare, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Nobody Gets Email: What a little oil well can do….

Nobody Gets Email
Here is the HOME..of Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan, the former President of the United Arab Emirates and ruler of Abu-Dhabi, along with his “solid silver car.”

Remember these images next you pay “four dollars at the gas station. Somewhere far away, is some poor harem of women, who have to clean this place.

And THEY despise capitalism?

HA!
(Thanks to Pat)

June 4, 2011 Posted by | Middle East | | 6 Comments

Nobody Get Email: Can You Say Chicken Shit?

Nobody Gets Email
***
It’s Saturday, and that’s means I dig out some of my favorite email…
Here’s one that says it all
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This is the difference between Chicken Salad and Chicken Crap…
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George W. Bush speech after capture of Saddam:
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The success of yesterday’s mission is a  tribute to our men and women now serving in Iraq. The operation was based on the   superb work of intelligence analysts who found the dictator’s footprints in a vast country. The operation was carried out with skill and precision by a  brave fighting force.  Our servicemen and women and our coalition allies have faced many dangers in the hunt for members of the fallen regime, and in  their efforts to bring hope and freedome to the Iraqi people. Their work continues, and so do the risks. Today,  on behalf of the nation, I thank the members of our Armed Forces and I congratulate ’em.
***
Barack Obama speech after killing bin Laden:
 ***
And so shortly after taking office,  I directed Leon Panetta, the director of the CIA, to make the killing or capture of bin Laden the top priority of our war against al Qaeda, even as we continued our broader efforts to disrupt, dismantle, and defeat his network. Then, last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community,  I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground.  I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week,  I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action, and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice. Today,  at my direction, the United States launched a targeted opertation against that compound in Abbottabnad, Pakistan.
 ***
Yep…big difference..
***
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)

June 4, 2011 Posted by | Presidents | | 1 Comment

The Evolution of Education (What Evolution?)

Nobody Reports
Today, I was rummaging through my old Shakespeare book, and read this at the beginning. Read what Shakespeare had to go through in school:
“From grammar the boys progressed to studying works of classical and neo-classical literature. They might read anthologies of Latin sayings and Aesop’s Fables, followed by the fairly easy plays of Terence and Plautus. They might even act scenes from Latin plays. As they progressed they would improve their command of language by translating from Latin into English and back, by imitating approved models of style, and by studying manuals of composition, the ancient rules of rhetoric, and modern rules of letter writing. Putting their training into practice they would compose formal epistles, orations, and declamations. Their efforts at composition would be stimulated too by their reading of the most admired authors. Works that Shakespeare wrote throughout his career show the abiding influence of Virgil’s Aeneid and of Ovid’s Metamorphoses Certainly he developed a taste for books both classical and modern; his plays show that he continued to read seriously and imaginably for the whole of his working life. “
Imagine our children getting that kind of education today? They didn’t even do this when I was a kid. I remember how much trouble I had learning to read. In the first grade my teacher wrote my mother and told her she was worried about me. I simply could not catch up with the other kids. Then one day, she took an hour out of her day, and explained it all to me. (Imagine that happening today.)   I had dyslexia, but back then, they didn’t really know about that. I didn’t find out until late in life, that my brother had it, as does my son.
***
To this day I spell many words backwards. And even when I read it, if there is a mistake, and the spell checker misses it, my brain says it’s right. Luckily, that teacher gave me a gift, the love of reading. Once she explained it to me, I was off and flying. But, what if I had learned REAL grammar? The proclivity I have finally found as an adult, wanting to write, might have developed when I was even younger.
 ***
At this stage, I feel like I’m still in second grade.
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As you can see, what Shakespeare and his fellow classmates learned went even beyond our English majors in college.
***
Getting A and B’s were easy the rest of my life, and I was smart enough to know what I wasn’t being taught. When I got to high school, I LOVED Shakespeare, and understood him as easy as breathing. Finally, I thought. Something worth reading. My essays, if I may say so myself, outdid many of the things I write today. But all the A’s on my essays were downgraded when I refused to take off my makeup in drama class. My teacher was FURIOUS. (a man) I had the worst case of acne, and I just would not do it, and so therefore, I got a C. I started to hate school.
 ***
My last year in high school, I was so bored I wanted to quit. My dad, talked me out of it, and that was that, I stayed in. But I have NEVER had a love for schools of any kind. I’m afraid I didn’t do much better in college. Oh, I got A’s, but I was furious with the teachers, the systems, the whole set up. I wanted MORE not less. When I read the Education of Henry Adams, I felt like I’d come home–okay, this contempt for the educational system runs in the family. I forgave myself, or should I say, Henry forgave me.
 ***
Thank goodness, I was tired of blaming myself.
 ***
But I almost dropped out of high school, which would have been a disaster. And now, 6.2 million kids a year drop out of high school in the United States. Kids are frustrated….and bored. They introduced John Dewey and the rest is sad history.
Reading, writing, and arithmetic are old rhymes in a old book.
 ***
The biggest mistake our schools do, is put the brightest of their students out to pasture, while they spent countless hours trying to keep the slow ones “equal.” Is it any wonder so many of them turn to video games?
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The United States is 17th among nations in education. Even in the land of Shakespeare, most of their population is right along with us. What does this mean?
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I have no idea. Only that, we have come a long way baby when it comes to teaching the minds of the young, the evolution of education in America, is going back to B.S. —Before Shakespears.***
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Say about…two thousand years.

June 3, 2011 Posted by | education | | 3 Comments

If I Were A Rich Man…La, de, da..

Nobody Flashes

Someone in South Florida just built this special Pirates of the Caribbean theater. If you know him, tell him to call me. Okay, If I were a rich man, I would build this same thing in 3-D. It costs $2.5 million dollars. All it needs is Johnny. And for an extra treat, included is a Pirate Bar. And probably wenches. And popcorn. Okay. The Pirates of the Caribbean was my favorite ride at Disneyworld. What does that mean? Go ahead, and explain.

 

June 3, 2011 Posted by | Money | | Leave a comment

I’m All Weinered Out…How Bout’ You?

Nobody’s Opinion

The Middle-East is bursting with chants of “kill the Jews”; the U.S. economy is about to go into double-dip depression; Obama is about to grab more power by grabbing control of the internet; Sarah Palin is meeting with Donald Trump; and what is EVERYONE talking about?

Weiner’s underpants. (Which I ALMOST posted, but decided to post Demi Moore’s instead, simply for the point being…posting yourself in your underwear will get you LOTS of tweets, and attention. I imagine Weiner is not the only moron doing this.

Wait— Did I just call Demi’s husband a moron?

What you have to ask yourself is why Weiner even TOOK the picture in the first place, (from the angle of the shot, I’d say it had to be the wiener owner taking the picture) —but how in the world did it get on the internet?
That’s the question on everybody’s mind. He has not refuted the fact that it’s HIS picture, but that he had nothing to do with it appearing.
And his wife doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal. (What happened to the good old days of fidelity?)

I guess they think since the movie stars all do it, it’s pretty well accepted, which brings me to Demi Moore and her husband, Ashton Kutcher. There is an obvious contradiction in the fact that Ashton and Demi are running a campaign to stop young women being trafficked in prostitution. Somehow putting up shots of your wife bending over, is not exactly in tune with your message. You cannot tell if Demi is thirteen or fifty in that picture.

And explain this: As you can see, Ashton is holding a sign that says, “Real Men don’t buy girls.”

Nobody says to Ashton, “Real men also don’t post obscene pictures of their wife in underwear on the internet, unless you’re embarrassed that she is SO much older than you, and you want to make a point.”

The same goes for Weiner, “Real men don’t put up lewd pictures of themselves on the internet when they are married, or anytime for that matter, if they have half a brain.”

Maybe Weiner should campaign to STOP the upcoming vote outlawing circumcision in San Francisco. Spin his story with the picture, and say, See—there is a very good reason to not outlaw circumcision, and I’m proof.

He wanted to show it off, so…why not do something noble with it?

Nobody Thinks it’s just another, “Quick, run with this Weiner story.” orders from whoever runs the news, to get us all redirected from all the really bad stuff going down, because America is getting really tired of hearing about it.

  UPDATE: Sex stories will get your mind in the gutter EVERY time, even me. I posted an obvious remark in my last post, “I don’t wear underwear.” Because, I don’t. I find it annoying…unless I have a dress on. And then I realized how that simple comment could be taken, by pretty much all men, as a suggesting moment. I Actually meant it as part of the story. (too late, already posted.)

Let me apologize, and say…I had been watching Weiner stories all day long yesterday, and my mind had been corrupted with the national concern of Weiner and his wiener. It seemed to fit the mood. What I should have said was, “I do not wear Weiner underwear.”

Next time, I’ll get it right.

June 2, 2011 Posted by | Media, politics | | Leave a comment

And Now, Another Word From Our Sponcer…

 Nobody Flashes

This is called Aurora Australis. The picture was taken over Hobart.

It also makes you wonder if you were standing underneath that beautiful display, would you turn on your cellphone?

I’m just saying.

(Thanks to amfortas, who sent this beauty.)

June 2, 2011 Posted by | Life | | 1 Comment

To Debit, or NOT to Debit? OR…

Nobody Wins

Let me confess: I LOVE my debit card. Yes, I remember the old days, back when men were men, and women washed diapers by hand…when you had to carry all that nasty cash around in your pocket. When you were at the store, you had to get out your wallet, and pull out the ten or twenty, and then you got change. SOME of us actually remember that.

Somewhere around the end of the twentieth century, even finding the correct change to give the cashier would get you at least five dirty looks from the people standing behind you. So, most people came home and threw the change in a big jar, heaven forbid they should hold up ANY line. This small change would later would put their sons through college.

Ha! Never again!

The women got the worst of it back then, because the men will only carry the bills. No man wants to be seen with a big LUMP in their pockets, (unless of course, you are a Weiner) which meant the women had to put all the coins, pennies, and quarters in her purse. It was the original “trickle down” concept to which later, Ronald Reagan based his financial budget policy on. The man spent the money, (Okay, we give them the credit for earning it…) and then the woman took all those drips of nickels and dimes that trickled down to her…and hid them from the man, Then, she would take those big jars, and use the money to buy clothes and shoes, which she also hid.

Are you kidding? Women are reincarnated squirrels. This secret hoarding went on for years. The last thing a man will do is venture into a woman’s closet, least you get caught admiring a dress.

Notice, I said…”Man”

If you didn’t have any money on you, you wrote a check. This got at least TEN people behind you wanting to shove you in a cart and roll you into the frozen food section. Remember, checks USED to be issued free to bank customers. Some banks even threw in toasters and guns for your business!

HA! Never again!

Now, you have to buy your checks, at triple-inflationary prices!

But, something HAD to be done about all this free cash floating around, sooooo, one day, someone at some bank decided, why not make a “debit” card so that the poor people wouldn’t have to stand in line anymore? They could just flick the one card through the machine, and the machine would say “ok!” and you were on your way, leaving lots of room in women’s purses for hair spray, dog treats, fashionable shoes, workout clothes, and baby wipes.

Did you ever wonder why the women now are fatter? It’s because they stopped dragging around bags full of heavy coins. “We have to give up something for progress.” said the bankers.

And the bankers were right. Now, a whole nation is hooked on debit cards. It’s easy, it’s fun, it’s so fast….and we can spend as much as we want and even more, and to make things even greater, we can go online to our bank accounts and see ALLLLLLLLLL the money we spent and how much it cost, and what we bought…and somewhere in cyberspace anyone can see just what where we bought it, and if there was sex involved.

You think the empty water bottles are a problem? It doesn’t even compare to the trail of every transaction being done every minute of the day. Yes, a huge paper trail of debit card transactions dominate the universe.

Nobody Thinks the great records of every transaction every man and women in the world have made, are hidden in Las Vegas, and under Harry Reid’s beck and call to sell this important information to the highest bidder—which is China. What? Do.you think we only sold them our garbage?

And now that they know everyone LOVES their debit card, it’s time to tax it every time you use it.

WHAT?

To make things fair, our bankers have decided that if you are a millionaire and buy a yacht for $250,000, and use your debit card…that transaction will only cost you 23 cents. (if our Congress has its way) And if you are a mere nobody, and want to buy a Slurpee at your local quickie mart for 99 cents, that transaction will cost you…23 cents.

It’s the hope and change that Obama promised!

Once again, the banks are NOT going to make much money off the millionaires, they aren’t millionaire for nothing you know, how do you think they got that way? Our “government” buttheads have to come up with some way to “tax’ the people.

The rich guys who own them, said, “You’d better figure out a way FAST, to save the banks!” Yes, the banks are in trouble—which means less money for the people who need lots of it. People are paying off their credit cards and the great profit from credit card fees is dwindling.

So, in comes the Federal Reserve: To save the merchants, it will price freeze the cost that the credit cards like Visa and MasterCard can charge them for each transaction. The banks will lose a big bulk of money, and so..they will charge you now for using a debit card. In other words, for using your own money. Pass the loss onto the customer.

No more toasters, no more crooks, no more banker’s dirty books.

Think: how many times a day do you use your debit card? On a average shopping day, I can go up to six to seven stores, that’s another $1.61 that the bank makes off me. I figure if I use my debit care just every other day, the bank will make around $300 dollars a year. Multiply that by 300 million and they make…

Now see, this is the problem. I can’t use my $1.00 calculator that I bought at the dollar store with my debit card to do this math. And that’s what they are counting on.

The little banks will be hurt by this, BECAUSE, many people will just take money out of their banks again and start paying cash. They will hide their money in grandma’s old underwear drawer. And those little banks will lose money, but the bigger banks, will have Uncle Bernanke to bail them out.

Like I said, I LOVE my debit card, but if the Feds get their way again, I’m going back to my hoarding, squirrely ways. And I know LOTS of places to hide my money.And if you come into my house looking for it, I’m saving you the trouble. My grandma is dead, and I… don’t wear underwear.

HA! Never Again!

June 1, 2011 Posted by | budget, capitalism, economy, Federal Reserve | | 2 Comments

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