Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Obama’s OTHER Speech at Fantasy Land

Nobody Wonders—

How the Mainstream media missed this speech?
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My fellow Cartoon Characters;
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My children never thought, that on this day in history, I would actually, not only go on Space Mountain with them, I would also sing Al Green’s “I’m so in Love with You” to the Fairy Godmother, cause let’s face it…she looks like my mother-in-law

Now..I know..I know what you’re thinking: President Obama…you can’t sing..well…

Yes I can.

Uh…I’ll do that later at the party. Today, I want you all to know, that I, as your President, I believe, that we CAN have Fantasy Land. All we have to do is be willing to sacrifice. Everybody needs to scarifice if we are going to make this Magic Kingdom magic again. I’ve got my top advisers..Dopey (Joe Biden), Doc (Leon Panetta) and Grumpy (Timothy Geithner) working on it. 

So..Donald, (Chris Dodd) no more swimming at Typhoon Lagoon. The EPA is complaining about it. And Goofy…(George Soros)  you’ve got to share your electrical car with Cruella Deville. (Nancy Pelosi) I know..I know, it’s not fair. But I’m going to need another four years to straighten this out…Heck..it might take longer….so help me out here.

Mr. Pooh (Barney Frank) ..I want you to stop eating honey.  Now…now, Michelle is going to teach you how to plant cauliflower…I know, I know, it’s going to hurt, but I’m not asking you to do anything more than I would ask of Mickey. (me)

And you know, Mickey is the key. Without Mickey Mouse, none of you people would even HAVE a job. Mickey takes after me. Big ears…and a true leader. Why, Even Minnie loves it when he sings.

Now. I know the Magic Kingdom needs some repair. That’s why, I’m going to put in a new stimulus to fix Space Mountain. After all, I got rid of NASA , so the kids are going to need to keep on dreaming of becoming astronauts, even though it’s a fantasy, hey…it’s a good one!

Remember, I’m inviting the world here to see you, which means, you’re all going to have to work a little harder.

Snow White is not going to get any more lunch breaks. She can’t be hanging out with Cinderella in the Castle. She can have apples, but I want her to keep on working. Remember, we must all sacrifice.

And if any of you see any fat kids, I want you to hide them. Guide them to cave of the Pirates of the Caribbean, and let them ride it all day…because we want those new foreigners to know that America is a fantasy land of lots of healthy people. After all, we want them all to spend their money on the soda’s and hot dogs in the park, and if they see all the fat American kids, they won’t eat here.

 My plan is for millions of Chinese to come HERE to buy those Mickey Mouse hats that they themselves, so proudly make in their own home towns.
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Now, I know, you’ve been worrying about your jobs. You’ve heard rumors. Rumors that this once Magic Kingdom is falling apart. And I know, you all need to eat. Eating food stamps is getting old. That’s why I have new plans to not only extend those food stamps, but codiments from now on, will be free. As will your health care. Buzz Lightyear will no longer have to keep that space helmet on. He’ll be able to afford a breathilizer.

And I know— some of the rides are a little scary. Our infrastucture is getting old. That’s okay. We can handle it. We are Cartoon Characters, and that’s why I’m here to help you all change.

 Change and be all that you can be…and that includes you Bambi. Simba will help you work on your self-esteem, and make you the better deer. After all, he was an African King, and you are just a doe in the woods. But pay attention…he knows a few things.
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I will try to save The Tower of Terror. It’s actually my favorite ride, so despite what you’ve heard, it’s not true— The Tower will be here as long as Michelle and I can come whenever we want to the park and ride it for free.

I promise you.

Okay, so I’m not as handsome as Prince Charming (everyone laughs) but, I promise, as your President, that if you all work hard and sacrifice your time and your efforts——

ME

Next year, I promise…I will come back. And I will make this Magic Kingdom the envy of the world, if you just give me Florida.

Okay, so we’ve all got work to do. I want to give a special thanks to Pluto, for taking such good care of Bo. Thank you Pluto! Next year, I’ll send Air Force Two to come and bring YOU to the White House..because you’ve done such a fine job.

So, let’s go Cartoon Characters! Let’s make this Magic Kingdom into the best tourist attraction in the world! Tourism USED to be our number one export, last year, garbage took that honor over. But…with your help, we can make it number one again by bringing in as many tourists as we can! And then we’ll have two number one exports: Garbage and Tourism. (And BS!)

We can do it! (Big smile)

THANK YOU!

 Uh…Arial…where’s my ice cream?

January 20, 2012 - Posted by | humor, Obama, Uncategorized | , ,

2 Comments »

  1. You must realise by now, Joyanna, that millions (maybe in the low Billions) of furriners count on you for knowledge of the American Way of Life. I know, they don’t say much or post here enough,( their comments intercepted and destroyed by the CIA) but they are furriners and many just cannot speak Obamacant.

    So we appreciate the efforts you go to in order to bring the ‘flavour’ of Obama. I think I caught some of this speech on PBS. What a great job you do.

    Like

    Amfortas's avatar Comment by Amfortas | January 20, 2012 | Reply

    • Thanks!

      Joyanna Adams

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      Like

      Joyanna Adams's avatar Comment by joyannaadams | January 21, 2012 | Reply


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