Joyanna Adams

The Next Olympic Sport: SEX

Nobody Remembers

The Olympics, we have found out, is not only a competition for sports, it also a big gigantic international orgy..

Who knew?

I’m still remembering Rocky Balboa saying he was “saving his strength.”

Okay, is that a myth? Do you get better results in your sport if you have more sex?  Does the balance beam seem a bit less…intimidating after you’ve had sex with the Australian swim team?

Enquiring minds want to know:

In a sign of what the world’s fittest sportsmen and women get up to in the Olympic village, a record 150,000 free condoms – 15 for each competitor – have been made available to them. Women’s football goalkeeper Hope Solo told the Daily Mirror: ‘There’s a lot of sex going on at the Olympics. I’ve seen people having sex out in the open, getting down and dirty on grass between buildings.'”

Okay…so…the LAST thing the officials of the world want is a bunch of international babies or sport agents finding out their main ticket to paradise went and got pregnant at the Olympics, and cannot pose for that awesome bikini picture on the cover of Wheaties.  

While everyone can imagine the hormone drives going on with the top athletes  of the world, and all those magnificent bodies floating around…this Nobody Remembers..

—That once upon a time, if you needed a condom..you paid for your own.! In fact, you kept your sex life a secret.

What? What kind of message does this send to the millions of teenagers in the world looking to compete in sports? If you get to the top of your sport then you will one day end up in the biggest orgy in the world? GO FOR IT!

Nobody also wants to know…Who exactly is paying for these condoms? Is Durex donating them  in order to get a bit of “free’ advertizing? Or do the taxpayers of London pay for them? Or are they included with the price of your ticket?

This has thrown a whole new monkey wrench into my Olympic viewing.  I’m going to be matching up the Japanese male gymnasts with the American women swimmers and volleyball team, and picturing all kinds of Olympic sex stunts.

Will they be able to put on that condom flipping from the high bar into the pool?

Will the pole vaulter be able to put that condom on, BEFORE he lands on the discus thrower?

And last but certainly not least: WILL there an Olympic competition to see who can use the most condoms in a day? Will the American win that?  I’ll bet on it.

Will SEX someday be a REAL Olympic sport?

Somebody stop me….

July 20, 2012 - Posted by Joyanna Adams | humor, Sports | Humor, Olympics, sex