Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody’s Email: ALMOST Did it.

Nobody Gets Email

Here’s the afternoon laugh from my liberal atheist friend, who loves off colored jokes about religious people.

Of course, I get a lot of ‘sexual’ jokes, and I find most of them boring…BUT…if they are clever and make me laugh, I try to picture Ronald Reagan telling them to his buds, and if I CAN…I then tell myself, life is too short not to laugh on a Sunday, right?

Okay! Enjoy! laughing monkey


Almost Did It…

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’ The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’  The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed  together, but then I stopped.’ The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.’ The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.  The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, ‘I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’


Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’ Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’ Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’ Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?


Donation Father O’Malley answers the phone. ‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’ ‘It is!’ ‘This is the IRS. Can you help us?’ ‘I can!’ ‘Do you know a Ted Houlihan?’ ‘I do!’ ‘Is he a member of your congregation?’ ‘He is!’ ‘Did he donate $10,000 to the church?’ ‘He will.’


Marriage Humor Wife: ‘What are you doing?’ Husband: Nothing. Wife: ‘Nothing . . . ? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’ Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’


Husbands are husbands A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. ‘What was that for?’ the man asked. The wife replied , ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket. The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.’ The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. ‘Your horse phoned’

July 26, 2015 - Posted by | humor, Uncategorized |

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