Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

And Now, A Word From Our Sponcer…

Nobody Knows

Why I like this song. I just do. The lyrics, the drums…the simplicity.

Bryan Adams is a pretty good songwriter. But…watch, around 2.21, you have to wonder…why put the guitar there?

July 19, 2011 Posted by | Life | , | Leave a comment

Nobody Mourns


Nobody’s Opinion

Obama was determined today to get his debt limit “money.” After playing the class warfare card, the “kill grandma card,” the Ronald Reagan card, he went back to the one card he could always count on: The race card.

Sheila the Jacka***s…son Lee, did it for him:
“I do not understand what I think is the maligning and maliciousness [toward] this president,” said Jackson Lee, a member of the Congressional Black Caucus. “Why is he different? And in my community, that is the question that we raise. In the minority community that is question that is being raised. Why is this president being treated so disrespectfully? Why has the debt limit been raised 60 times? Why did the leader of the Senate continually talk about his job is to bring the president down to make sure he is unelected?”

Sheila shows her vast knowledge of American history here. Why, there is not one example, since George Washington ran back to Mt. Vernon, of a opposing Senator EVER wanting to out the President holding office, right? Nobody Thinks that Sheila knows better…because to think that she knows nothing of American history is beyond scary. and speaking of scary…

Nobody Wonders where Obama gets his stats. Obama claims that more than 80 percent of the people want more taxes. Right— just like we want more poisoned dog food, higher gas prices, crack houses, someone feeling us up at airports, gangrene, a bullet through our head, our child picked up by a serial killer, or to see another exposing Wiener picture.

Obama:

“And I think increasingly the American people are going to say to themselves, you know what? If a party or a politician is constantly taking the position ‘my way or the highway,’ constantly being locked into, you know, ideologically rigid positions, that you know, we’re going to remember at the polls,”

Obama doesn’t seem to care that he is the one for the past year saying “my way or the highway” Funny how reporters never ever points out that the Democrats always accuse the other party of doing EXACTLY the crime they are committing at the moment. It’s a daily exercise for them.

On the other side of the ocean, Rebekah Brook, the editor that resigned over the Murdoch scandal, costing his company millions, has lost a friend: Murdoch’s’ daughter. Elizabeth claimed Brooks had been “f****ing the company.”

 Nobody Knows if MS Brook was a diehard liberal planted to bring down the company, BUT, Murdoch has a weakness for pretty woman. If there is one thing you have to be, it’s a very beautiful woman, or you will not work for Murdoch. Nobody Thinks Murdoch, was brought down by a pretty face, but then again,  Nobody’s Perfect.

And speaking of Perfect: it seem Hugh Hefner just can’t believe that his very young fiancé dished him. (That’s Hugh with some of his x-wives) ‘But in the weeks immediately afterward, as we got very close to the marriage, you know, something was not right. But I didn’t see it coming, I truly didn’t see it coming.’ say Hugh.

Besides the fact that he insists that all his girlfriends and wives never leave his bunny estate, and that despite his millions, most of those girls want the guy of their dreams ..and they are using HIM to get ahead—he still doesn’t get it? No wonder he locks them up.

 Nobody Flashes that Hugh has a serious case of dementia, with a heavy side cocktail of deliriums.

And speaking of deliriums…Prince Alwaleed, the man who demanded that Rebakah Brook be fired due to the fact that he owns major stock in FOX and was salivating for the big FOX deal about to go through in England, said this:
“Ethics to me is very important, definitely. I will not tolerate to deal with a company that has a lady or a man that has any sliver of doubt on her or his integrity,”

 Nobody Remembers that Giuliani turned down the $10 million that the Prince offered him after 9/11, and how we all cheered. Giuliani said that his statements drew “a moral equivalency between liberal democracies like the United States, like Israel, and terrorist states and those who condone terrorism.” Coming from a man who also said the United States should re-examine its policies in the Middle East” after 9/11, you have to wonder where his “Ethics” lie.

Blaming America for 9/11 is not what most would call “ethical” at all.

 Nobody Cares: In the mist of all this political grand soap opera today, my little blue parakeet, Pepe, died . He had a grand eight years of singing to me and making me laugh. He has had pneumonia for over three weeks, and fought bravely to not let it show. He pretended to eat at the bottom of the cage with the other birds…and then, gently went to sleep among them this afternoon, while they ate around him.

We loved each other very much, me and my Pepe. He was my little joy, ….and I will miss him…dearly.

July 15, 2011 Posted by | Life, Obama, politics | , , | 4 Comments

Nobody Gets Email: Funeral Campaign Donations

Nobody Gets Email

Please remember readers, that when I post emails, the stuff in them could be true, or false. Also remember that I’m not posting them for any kind of journalistic reporting. I’m just posting emails that I get from my readers and friends,and ones that strike a chord or make me think.

Kinda like the Tarot cards. They might be all BS, but you have to admit, if you take what they say, and think about your life while someone is reading the cards to you, you can arrange them to solve most any problem, and even come up with solutions. Sort of like a best friend making you think of all the possibilities.

How did I get on Tarot cards? (Don’t ask)

What I really liked about this email, is —not only was it funny, I thought it might be a good way to raise money for candidates opposing Obama. Smething tells me that with Obamacare, this fundraising method might catch on really fast!

(Thanks to Tom Bebee)

July 9, 2011 Posted by | Just life | | 1 Comment

Nobody’s Perfect: America VS Moldova

Nobody’s Perfect

 It wouldn’t be summer without hot dogs and beer, and this week we have a tie: What country gets grosser by the minute? America, or Moldova?
 ***
America can eat more hot dogs than any other nation: Moldova, a country stuck between Romania, and the Ukraine, can out drink any nation, even their neighbors. In fact, Moldova is drunker than even South Korea, who by all standards, wakes up drunk. In Moldova, the average person drinks 4.81 gallons of alcohol a year. Both countries hold records, of dubious talents: that of getting drunk, and that of eating the most hot dogs at once. And after you consider the nutritional value of a hot dog, as compared to a beer, it’s a hard decision.
 ***
Which is better for you?
 ***
Man has been getting drunk since Adam first dropped Eve in a batch of grapes, after he ate the apple. Hot dogs were invented to get rid of all the junk and waste that the meat packers were throwing away. One day, some guy said, “Hey Joe…let’s take all these guts and stuff them, dye em’ red, and sell em’ at the ball parks!” The fans got thirsty from eating all those hot dogs, and drank more beer. It was a win/win situation for capitalism.
 ***
The beer and hot dog moguls got together to make sure that everyone in America got hooked on hot dogs and beer, at every sporting events. In fact, the stadiums were built around the beer and hot dog franchises, and before you know it, now, when you go to the ball park, you are paying more for the hot dogs and beer than for the ticket. Two beers and two hot dogs? Cost: $2,440.52. Ticket? $40.00 dollars.
 ***
Moldova tried the same idea. They make stuffed cabbage for their main meal, which is just about as horrible as eating 62 hot dogs in ten minutes…so they have to drink lots of alcohol not only to drown the taste, but to make them forget they ever ate it.  Therefore BECAUSE stuffed cabbage is much worse than a hot dog, which if piled with enough ketchup, mustard, onions and pickle relish…is rather tasty, nobody is leaning to the Americans for sheer tenacity of inventiveness. All the condiments make you forget about the hot dog, and this actually brings a much more exhilarating experience.
 ***
Try putting ketchup on stuffed cabbage. Yuk.
 ***
If you’ve never watched the Nathan’s famous eating hot dog contest on Coney Island, held every year on the fourth of July, take it from one who has.—Don’t watch it. You might not eat the rest of the day, or even, till the next July 4th. Some guy named Chestnut ate 62 hot dogs this year,  and now he is floating somewhere in New York harbor, wishing he had cabbage and sausage for lunch.
 ***
That’s why America is going to win this. NOBODY can rip America’s money away from their innocent hands like another greedy American! We have the art perfected. If the CEO’s in Moldova were smart, they’d stuff a hot dog with cabbage, smother it in mustard, and have a contest, to see how many people watching can even bear witness to the event.
 ***
But they will NEVER beat the American’s for sheer grossness, because WE keep can take our shirts off too!
***
And Americans can eat hot dogs and drink beer at the same time, and get really drunk while doing it.
***
Try that Moldova!

July 5, 2011 Posted by | humor, Life | , | 2 Comments

Nobody Flashes On the 4th

Nobody Flashes

This is my FAVORITE holiday.

If you HAPPEN to be British, I bet your indulgence.

Now, because I have to go cook my grandmother’s german potato salad (which takes, 7 hours) I plan to keep up the great American tradition of waving flags, and wearing flag t-shirts, and flag hats, and flag earrings, and waking up tomorrow and watching the fireworks tomorrow night. I don’t even want to go through the current politic landscape for just a few more hours.

Your welcome! (LOL!)

Everyone have a great 4th! And I’ll be thinking of all of you tomorrow night when the music hits the piccolos!

July 4, 2011 Posted by | Life | | 2 Comments

Nobody Wants to Know: Where Are the Hover Cars?.

Nobody Knows…

Do I want to talk about Obama and his great, “We must get those nasty rich guys with corporate jets and TAX them before we have to cut the weatherman, and the food inspectors, and maybe not be able to give all those Mexicans student loans as I have promised.'” …speech?

NO! Nobody wants to talk about the very happy state I’m in because I have finally found a flying craft that I can afford! I have everything I need…a blower, a shower curtain,—duck tape., and a chair.

AND…since all the malls are now nothing but empty parking lots, I’ve got clearance for takeoff! All it needs is some yellow paint.

Tell me, why are not all the kids in our school system, not making these for science projects? And just think how it would work on the moon..and tell me, if this simple technology works with a simple chair, why in the world are we not developing cars that hover?

We must ask Obama. All he did today was blame the Republicans for not pushing HIS agenda through Congress. And then after the speech, all kinds of Congressmen came running out to the mikes saying, “Well, we’re staying through the July 4th holiday to work on this!!

Oh gee…what a better place to be on the 4th. In the Capitol, with primetime seats to one of the best fireworks in the nation.

They really suffer don’t they?

Well, I’m not letting them spoil my fun.

 

June 29, 2011 Posted by | Life | | Leave a comment

Nobody Cares About Tattoos


Nobody Cares

Tattoo: Just say the word to me, and I cringe. I would never in a million years want to let somebody drive nails and ink into my skin to permanently color it with something that I might be ashamed of at eighty, or even—next month. I could just imagine someone looking at my corpse and saying– “Check it out…she has a tattoo of a flower, a dragon…wait…here’s another one…looks like it says…JAW..what’s that? Just Add Water? What’s that mean? Crimmie…ugly old bitch.”

Nope, as fun as it looks when some of my girlfriends lift their ankles or necks, or whatever, to show me their latest wonderful fashion, I usually say, “That’s cool!” because who am I to judge?

Whatever makes you happy.

Look around you and you will see, there are many happy people with tattoos, especially in Hollywood. Once, only the criminals wore them, but now they are the fashion among the rich and famous.
And they come in as many shapes and meanings as you can imagine. Nordic, dragons, symbols, flowers, animals, and swastikas. Some people get carried away and tattoo their whole body, like Jesse James.
One guy went so far as to tattoo “No Fear” on his head, and so every time he went into a bar, someone decided to put fear right back into him. Nobody thinks he should have tattooed on his head, “No brains.” but then again, that’s why I’m a nobody.

Then there was a guy who tattooed “LETS FUCK” on his knuckles so when he would just put his knuckles together and give any girl he liked the message. Where am I getting this stuff? From a wonderful book called “Life at the Bottom,” which was written by a British Doctor named Theodore Dalrymple. He has a theory of how to spot “bad” guys right away. Look for the tattoos.

I first formulated my viral theory of criminality when I noticed that at least nine of ten white English prisoners are tattooed. more than three of four times the proportion the general population. This statistical association of crime with tattooing is stronger, I feel certain, than between crime and any other single factor, with the possible exception of smoking. Virtually all English criminals are smokers, a fact that sociologist have also unaccountably overlooked. When asked why they inflict these marks of Cain upon themselves, the tattooed cite pressure from their peers and boredom. Perhaps the pain of it reassures them they are alive: it hurts, therefore I am.–Dr. Dalrymple

Historically speaking, tattoos have been around since the caveman. Captain Cook’s naturalists noted the fashion on the Samoan…and they have always been a favorite of the military…which brings me to my story:

What, you KNEW there would be a story…didn’t you?

Right after my husband (my second) and I got married, we took my son (from another marriage) on vacation to the Great Smokey Mountains. Since my son was fourteen, every day was filled with bumper cars, video games, bumper cars…putt-putt, bumper cars…and I started to feel a bit left out. We only had enough money for THEM to go on the bumper cars. Yes,..even though I don’t mind watching others have fun, I had done a lifetime of that with my son before my new husband came along. I was ready for the woods. You know, hiking…and hiking…and maybe seeing a few bears, but no…I got more bumper cars. I had just gotten about too bored around the fourth day, when my new husband decided he wanted to get a tattoo. Like a good sailor he already had one on his bicep—an Eagle, with his nickname on it..BRU. If I had talked to the good doctor Dalrymple at the time, I would have been probably thinking…Ummmm… but off he went.

And came back out with a great big, flying eagle on his chest. And I, was hurt. Yes, there I was, married only a few days, and I was following around a boy and a man having the best time of their lives..buddies. There was no romance whatsoever.  When he got back from the tattoo place the first time, I said, “HEY…you mean you didn’t put MY name anywhere?” if you had read his many love letters, you would said the same thing.

After a few hours of more bumper cars, he decided he would go back and get my name on his chest. BUT…and here’s the catch, he had a big, bad, red sunburn on his chest. His whole front was the color of a ripe tomato, but off he went.  After a few hours, he came back to the hotel room, bragging about how he withstood the pain…just to prove, that EVEN though it was against every single fiber in his body, he did it.

What did he do?
It was I who decided what he had to do. “Have the Eagle holding a chain, at the end of the chain put a heart with my name in it. ”

Guilt is a wonderful thing. It can make a man go back to a tattoo shop and put a heart with his new wife’s name in it, while suffering the pain of needle on burnt skin.

Now ask me, do I feel guilty about it? FORCING the man to put my name on his tattoo?
Nope. I’d had a whole week of being the “go get this, go get that.” and deep inside I thought, maybe this guy doesn’t love me but the life I can bring to him.
Better be sure.

Later on in life he really wanted to put my whole face on his back…which I thought was really sick. I won on that account again. I’ll be damned if some guy in some morgue is going to be looking at my husband’s back someday and saying “Why in the WORLD would he put that creepy looking broad on his back?” As it is now, some morgue guy will look at his corpse, see the huge flying eagle with the heart and chain,, and say…”Wow…cool tattoo.”

I like the thought of an eagle carrying my name. It’s about as close to mortality as I’m ever going to get.

And what would the good Doctor say about that?
He would say: “That’s life at the bottom!”

June 29, 2011 Posted by | Life | | 3 Comments

And Now, A Word From Our Sponcer!

Nobody Wonders

Okay, big kid that I am I went to the Zoo. What I noticed is that the only animals that didn’t hide from the people were the monkeys. I did not see Weiner.

Can you guess which picture is my favorite?

June 15, 2011 Posted by | Life | | Leave a comment

Nobody Discusses Hot Dogs

Nobody Flashes:

There is a new popular posting going around all the famous blog sites. If the writers don’t have any time to write, they introduce a few subjects and say, “Go ahead and discuss amoung yourselves…I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Well, I’ve decided to get in on this exciting new habit. So…

Here is a wiener. Discuss it among yourselves and have a nice day! (I just HAD to do this since I usually only have one or two comments…just couldn’t resist. In fact, I’ll start it off.)

Hot dogs should never be underestimated. Perhaps there IS a difference between a hot dog, and a weiner. Exactly what is IN a hot dog? Are they worth even posting pictures of? Has ketchup ever been put on a Weiner? What was the biggest hot dog on record?

Go ahead…take it!

June 10, 2011 Posted by | humor | , | 3 Comments

Nobody Remembers: Hope

Nobody Remembers

Rather than post the usual memorial…I thought, how about a rememberance of all the good this one entertainer did in his lifetime.? Through the film, you realize, just how many wars America has faught, and how many lives were givin up for our way of life..and all the entertainers of the past that went into harm’s way to bring the boys some cheer.

God bless them all.

May 30, 2011 Posted by | Just life | | 1 Comment

Another Word From Our Sponcer…some of it..not so good.

Nobody Knows

It’s the age-old question: If there is a God, why does he let such horrible things happen to innocent people? Take Joplin, Missouri…fifteen minutes was all it took for a tornado to kill over a hundred (and counting) people, and destroy most of the town. (see first pictures) And the weather is not finished. We have been warned, here in Missouri to expect more of the same.
Okay, God has nothing to do with the weather…but you can’t help but feel your heart go into your chest when you see the pictures. You’re first thought is: Are we next?
Today, my husband and I had planned to see the new “Pirates of the Caribbean” at the local mall. On the way over, it was pouring buckets…and as I looked up into the sky and saw the circles of clouds twirling, and watched newly planted young trees bend almost to the ground from the force of the wind,  I keep thinking…”This is NOT typical. ” By the time we got to the Mall, electric for over 46,000 people had been knocked out. So much for the movie.
As I was relaxing on the front porch with the neighbors, waiting for the electric to come back on, we talked about the how the weather had been so strange. The cicada’s were already coming in mass. We had…no answers.
So that’s why I’m staying off politics tonight. Most of us know, that many of the people suffering in the floods and tornadoes will forever suffer, some will never recover. And that’s why, I’m posting some beauty after the beast. (In the PLANTS!) Here are some of my favorite pictures taken by my favorite people. I wish I could say that beautifu waterfall is in my backyard…but…give me a few more downpours here, and it will be. (Thanks to Pattie and Mona)

May 23, 2011 Posted by | Life | | 2 Comments

Why Do the Birds Go On Singing? Don’t they Know, It’s the End of the World?

Nobody Knows

Tomorrow…is the end of the world. Oh…you didn’t know that?

Well, some guy who has predicted the end before when it didn’t happen, (believe me, his name is NOT important) has said the rapture will start, and only 2 percent of the population will be taken up into the sky to be with Jesus. The other 98 percent of us no-good nobodies will have to remain and wait for the devil to come get us. We will be forced to watch old Sean Penn movies and Hillary Clinton speeches in-between earthquakes.

And that’s at the END of our torture!

NEVERTHELESS…I’m prepared. I’ve got a helmet (see picture) just in case Jesus comes for me.

I understand I will have to roll underneath the ground all the way to the holy land from Missouri. Thank GOD it’s still there. Who knows how many rocks, sewer lines, cable lines, tree roots, worms and moles I might roll over on the way. I’m a little worried about crossing underneath the Atlantic, but I will have no choice.

If this is the end, I would like to dedicate this song to you.

If it is NOT the end, then don’t worry, it will come soon enough!

Now, excuse me while I go have some carrot cake to get ready.

Oh yes, enjoy the song and Skeeter’s hairstyle…I did!

May 20, 2011 Posted by | Life | | 2 Comments

Nobody Dances

Nobody Gets MORE Email

 

(If video does not appear…go here.)

Hey…it’s Saturday night, and this is one of my favorite video’s…I USE to teach dancing at Arthur Murry’s when I was around19. And I danced at the Boom-Boom Room on Miami Beach with my brother when I was five. We Danced every Saturday night for $50 bucks a piece. (I wonder where my fifty bucks went?)

Anyway…dancing is in my blood, but I married a man who does not dance…so when I saw this…it hit me hard.

Why am I not dancing? After all, it’s like riding a bike. You’re never too old to do it.

I guess I’ll just have to go put on a few records and dance by myself in the basement.  What do ya think? How can you NOT dance after watching this!

(Thanks to Janet)

May 14, 2011 Posted by | Life | | 2 Comments

Dog or Man…Who Is the Master?

Nobody Gets Email

I got this some time ago, but since I spent so much time yesterday lamenting the demise of the planet, I thought, and I’m sure you agree…this deserves a few more hits. It already has over 19 million. Anyone who has ever had a dog, can relate.

Enjoy! Again.

(Thanks to amfortas)

May 14, 2011 Posted by | dogs | | 1 Comment

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