Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

Nobody Reads Headlines!

Nobody Opinion

We live in a world bombarded by headlines, and it’s getting unreal. I read so many headline during the day, I have to deheadline myself with a bottle of vodka and two donuts, and …

(just kidding,..I usually just eat ONE doughnut and skip the vodka.)

But, the very first thing I do each day is hop on my computer and read the daily headlines, and NOBODY does headlines better than the Drudge Report.

Since I have NOT been paying attention to headlines today due to the important task of trying to find gutter covers for my gutters…I’ve grabbed today’s headlines ….VIA THE DRUDGE REPORT: (With my usual nobody comments)

HEADLINE: Washington and Moscow can’t agree on definition of ‘terrorist’….

Putin's look...priceless.

Putin’s look…priceless.

This is news? The Obama administration’s idea of a terrorist is an American who is suspicious of their government, owns a gun, loves the American flag and its history, longs for the days when Miley Cyrus wasn’t naked, and does not want to pay any more taxes. No wonder Putin’s confused. Also, Obama says ISIL– Putin says “Anybody who is trying to overthrow Assad” is a terrorist.

It’s hard to kill a terrorist if you can’t decide who they are.

Obama gets many things confused: like the differences between Islam and Christianity, what the office of the Presidency is legally allowed to do, the difference between ISIL and ISIS, and what plane to take to the golf course to that day.  And following THAT headline was..

HEADLINE: Paper: Putin sees Obama’s coolness as weakness.

So do we. We also see his coolness as typical East St. Louis/South Side Chicago, ghetto BS.

HEADLINE: Crowd of 20,000+ for Bernie in Boston: Doubles Obama ’08Bernie Sanders

This means of course, that the people who elected Obama, are really sorry now, and Sanders it attacking what Obama said he was going to attack, but doesn’t: The rich. In fact, all he does is hang out with them. Those mean and evil rich people. Bernie is for giving EVERYBODY free everything, (Obama only gave out cell phones) which means higher taxes, and basically the collapse of the United States. (okay, so it will just bring it on faster) Bernie…I hate to tell you, but you aren’t going to hurt the very rich. Not now. Not ever. It makes for a great speech though…Keep it up!

HEADLINE: CBS News: Biden Could Decide Presidential Run in Next Week.

He wants to make sure everybody in the country has had a chance to read the news that Hilly has a brain tumor first. Anyway, it’s much more exciting to just keep everybody waiting. No doubt he’ll wait until Christmas and announce it as a gift to his dead son, because Jesus would want it that way.

HEADLINE: HILLARY: LIVE FROM NEW YORK

New York can keep her. She’s might as well be dead, with Bernie’s numbers.

HEADLINE: Majority of EU nations seek opt-out from growing GM cropsHillary clinton SNL

Let them. Monsanto will stick it in their beer. Our great leaders want to make SURE we know how many calories on in our Big Mac, but not the fact that the new organic food you are paying more for, is also…genetically altered by GM. As far as WE know…GM has genetically altered the very clouds above our heads. But then again, I don’t think the EU is going to be around too much longer to even worry about GM any more. They have bigger problems…like how to NOT spill a beer on a Burka.

HEADLINE: Gay former student of Pope Francis’ speaks out

Gay man was surprised that the Pope met with Kim Davis, “It’s just not like him.”

Nobody agrees. This was an act that a REAL Pope would do. The Pope obviously got took a wrong turn in his Pope Mobil. He should have Googled directions.

HEADLINE: Decline of “big soda’…Largest change in American diet in past decade.Soda is bad

Have the people stop being obese from soda? NO! So, maybe it’s not the soda that’s making them fat. If we all stopped drinking soda, why are we all still fat? Are we to feel sorry for the soda companies?

If you do, slap yourself. Now Coke and Pepsi sell water….at a higher price.  And Monster energy drinks—- Which are probably even worse for you. But..it just goes to show you what happens when you “TAX” food. Just wait till they start taxing your water. Wait…they already do! Okay, wait till they start taxing your fat on your body–and by the way, would you rather pay higher taxes on the fat on your body, or pay triple your heating bill for the rest of your life? Slap yourself again! Soon, you won’t have a choice.

HEADLINE: Immigration To Add 7 People for Every Net U.S. Birth

I saw proof of this today in my local K-Mart. SEVEN little Mexican kids, were playing in the toy isle, and they ALL had the latest and newest Halloween costumes on. Did mom just try them on for size in the store? I had princesses and fairies dancing around me before I even GOT to the Christmas trees. Yes, Bush is right. These people can pop out the babies, and bring the rest in from down under. You want people? No problemo. They are coming….

HEADLINE: Germany faces logistical nightmare as refugee inflows hit record.

Transferring millions across Germany, to each little town takes time, and the Muslims are NOT happy:

“The authorities tell me to sleep and eat. I say ‘give me a job’!” said Afghan-born Mohammad, 24, who grew up in Iran and later moved to Greece. “Everyday I sleep and eat and I don’t like it. I didn’t come here for the food – I have better food in my own country.”

Uh…so WHY did you leave again?Chris Mercer

HEADLINE: CNN Turns Mixed Race Oregon Shooter into a White Man

Right. And he hated blacks too. So..why did he go out and kill a bunch of white people who were Christians again? And why does CNN get to alter a man’s skin color?

HEADLINE: Google excited about its new driverless Cars of the Future

Okay, that last one was mine. 60 Minutes had a segment on tonight that showed what Google hopes to be the future of our transportation: Driverless cars.

Realize…if your car is a computer…it CAN crash…just imagine…the Drudger headline:google car

HEADLINE: 16 Million Cars crash Tuesday, due to anonymous digital hacker…6 million dead.

Why doesn’t Google work on fixing our infrastructure from an EMP attack instead? After all, one missile over our country would put Google out of business for ten years.

That’s a headline we wouldn’t even get to see. Nobody Thinks those young Google Executives are drinking too much…Soda.

Nobody hopes they go back to just drinking beer…from Germany.

October 4, 2015 - Posted by | politics, Uncategorized | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. “Deheadlining” – -honestly, sometimes we can glean more from the headline than we can get from the article itself. Donuts and vodka? Nope, I usually have 2 cups of joe to wash down 2 donuts, or Danish, or coffee cake, etc. I just like food too much! (and coffee)

    Like

    Comment by madmemere | October 6, 2015 | Reply


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