Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Opinion

What Day Is This?

Nobody Flashes

President Donald Trump, has just signed an executive order that all politicians must pass, and use Paul Ryan’s health care law. If they don’t then he threatens that he will put Maxine Waters in charge of the Pentagon.

In other news, Obama has just finished his new book, called, “Dreams of My Gay Lover.” Already, Shepard Smith has bought the first hundred copies which he is sending to the Adams/Hays hotel as a complimentary book meant to replace the Bible in the rooms.

Hillary Clinton has decided to run for President of Canada. And Obama is considering a new career as a host in his own TV talk show, his first guest will be Valerie Jarrett, who plans to dance the Tango in full hijab to show how easily it can be done.

On the opposite side of the planet, Australia has decided to give every citizen a gun, and a pound of ammunition. China has decided to kick out all American manufacturing businesses, and NIKE’s will now be made in Idaho.

Vladimir Putin is making a trip to Disney Land in Orlando, where he will be escorted around the park, by his new big fan, Lindsey Graham.

Food prices are expected to come down by 50% this year, and Congress has decided to cut all taxes by 75%.

Chelsea Clinton will be working in Libya soon, as the ambassador from the United Kingdom.

Bill Clinton will divorce his wife on grounds that she physically abused him, and he will be given a ‘safe place’ provided to him with round the clock protection.

SNL will be cancelled due to lack of an audience.

Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders will divorce their current spouses and hold their wedding in Michael Moore’s basement.

Michael Moore will lose 200 pounds and become a porn star movie producer.

Lassie has been brought back to life by her DNA, and cancer has been cured.

And that is all the news that is the news, on this day…April 2…..wait…What day is this?

 

March 31, 2017 Posted by | humor, Uncategorized | | Leave a comment

Why I love Men, and the Argument Clinic


Nobody Wins

I’m sorry, am I late here today?

Well, that’s because some dweeb of a computer engineer decided to HIDE the power button on my new computer. I turned it off last night to protect it from lighting…and when I came to write my blog, I was all ready to simply press the on button, but…no matter how many time I practically raped my ALL IN ONE screen with my fingers, there WAS no button.

I Googled, “HP Pavilion manual.” Nothing. I looked at my setup manual that came in the box.

Nothing.

Plug it in. Okay…It’s PLUGGED IN!

I watched 5 videos’ of men taking the HP Pavilion out of the box, and plugging it in, but…when it got to how to power it on…

NOTHING!

By 4am. I was ready to admit, that Bill Gates had finally won. Invent a computer with no on/off button. I tossed and turned in bed, feeling as if I had lost my mind. OMG…did they tell me at Office Depot NEVER to turn it off? What did I do? What major crime did I commit? Is this the conspiracy that I’ve been waiting for? They don’t WANT you to turn off your computer? And isn’t that why I had to buy a new one in the first place? They told me NOT to turn it off and I did?

I popped some melatonin to turn off my brain, and in the morning, I told the story to my husband.

“That’s ridiculous.” He said. “Of course there’s a power button. I need a flashlight.” Thirty seconds later, he found the button. on the very right hand bottom of the computer, a spot I had pressed on it seemed at least 20 times. The difference being, I did NOT lift UP the monitor to look.

That’s why I love men. And that’s why, I’ve decided all women should worship the ground they walk on.

Now, that you know, a sense of humor is needed for the moment of my utmost cluelessness when it comes to any kind of computer.

(TAKE A CLASS JOYANNA! You are thinking. Right. Okay. Uh….why I have a man?)

And on another note completely….Please watch the video above and tell if it’s NOT the perfect description of the United Stated Government.

Leave it the Brits to explain our Washington D.C. so perfectly.

Enjoy!

March 31, 2017 Posted by | humor | | Leave a comment

   

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