Nobody’s Email: Overly Attached Uncle Sam
Nobody Gets Email
Not awake yet? Then don’t miss this…One-of-a-kind, rather incredibe version of the Star Spangled Banner….then applaud! (LOL)
(Thanks to Conservative)
Gwyneth Paltrow: Obama’s Submissive
Nobody Cares
Everyone is talking today about what Gwyneth Paltrow said about Obama while she introduced him at a fundraiser party she gave at her mansion in Brentwood:
“You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly,” said Paltrow, who “consciously uncoupled” from her husband, Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin, earlier this year. It would be wonderful,” Paltrow said of Obama, “if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass.”
So, Nobody Cares if I translate what she said OFF the mike, probably in her bedroom, while little Moses and Apple were being entertained by her illegal immigrant housekeeper
“Oh…I just can’t speak, I’m breathless with excitement! To have you here, so close! I promise I WILL sign your contract! Here, I have it in my drawer…next to the bed. My lawyers told me there were at least 300 shades of gray in this contract, but, I don’t care. I promise to be your submissive, and you will do anything you want to me, and even punish me when I’m bad, Yes, I WANT you to punish me, because you are just so HOT!”
“Want some blow? It’s better than cheese!
Yes, getting those black voters out in November is not going to be easy, so the next step; THE WOMAN! We have to get the women all hot and bothered again.
Obama is HOT! He is good-looking, he will leave you speechless! (and your children sick or dead.)
Go to the voting both and VOTE, like Gwyneth. Give your entire life and your children over to this man.
So, how much was this ditzy, horny woman paid to say this to Obama? (Message sent.)
After all, the liberals KNOW the power of movie stars, and they use them all very effectively to get out their agenda’s. Look what happened to Chevron—
Actress Mia Farrow is under attack for secretly being paid $188,000 to promote a lawsuit against Chevron for allegedly poisoning the jungle and harming indigenous peoples. An Ecuadorian court ruled against the U.S. oil giant, ordering it to pay more than $9 billion in compensation.
By the way, Paltrow’s children, Apple and Moses, (Uh…why doesn’t she just change her name to EVE?) look VERY embarrassed about their mommy acting so…’sexual’ towards a man, who is not their daddy.
Is it any wonder so many Hollywood kids overdose on drugs?
Joe Biden…..Who?
Nobody Wonders—-
IF we can survive, not only our current political bozos in Washington D.C., but the horror of our educational system.
What else explains these people? (besides daily use of various mind-blowing drugs.) Then again, what if they KNEW who he was, and thought he was cool?
Enjoy!
Nobody’s Email: Alaska Has Great Signs
Nobody Gets Email:
Hey, some of you DID send some things! Cool!
Not to let Australia get by alone, this was sent by a reader who took these while he was in Alaska.
It seems, people in Alaska have a favorite pastime!
CLUE…find the bears.
(Thanks to John Cooper)
Nobody’s Email: Pictures From Down Under
Nobody Gets Email
This just in from my friend amfortas, who lives in Tasmania! And it’s good to know, that email is pretty much the same all over the world. If you have ever gotten a “customers of Wal-Mart” email, you know what I’m talking about.
Here’s a few of the lovely pictures of life down under. (Thanks to amfortas, who lives in a much SAFER neighborhood…I hope.)
By the way…have an email you think is great?
Go ahead and send it to me—so everybody can enjoy!
Nobody’s Email: Top Ten Reasons to Vote Democrat
Nobody Gets Email:
Somebody somewhere dreamed up this David Letterman Top Ten list: We all know this is WAY better than anything Dave does anymore…so let’s all just pretend.
(Thanks to Kris)
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I’ve decided to marry my German Shepherd. 
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn’t.
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
#6. I vote Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
#5. I vote Democrat because I’m not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
…And the
#1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it’s better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish here in America. We don’t care about the beetles, gophers or fish in those other countries.
Nobody’s Email: 2014 Conference on Aging
Nobody Gets Email
This is a great video,to set the weekend off to a good start. Fritz is a weatherman in Los Angeles…
And he could very well do standup in Vegas.
ENJOY!
(Thanks to JR)
Nobody’s Email: Two Dining Dogs
Nobody Gets Email
You either think this is funny, or cruel. My husband thinks its cruel, I thought it was funny.
Showing that not all stereotypes of the sexes work in every single case.
Enjoy! Or not.
(Thanks to JR)
Nobody’s Email: Putin, Bush, and the Queen in Hell
Nobody Gets Email
Nobody’s Email: 12-year Old Interviews Eric Holder
Nobody Gets Email
Here’s an oldie but goodie video out of my email bag…just so that we don’t forget Eric Holder and all his crimes.
Enjoy!
(Thanks to Eric Crowder)
Speaking of Muslims….
Nobody Gets Email:
It’s Saturday! Let’s get right to the good stuff:
(Thanks to Kris)
Marked dollar bill You don’t think we’re in a war?
A lady in Monte Vista, CO had this dollar bill. This is her story. After dinner she took a $1 dollar bill out of her purse and displayed it on the table. Underneath the words “In God We Trust” someone had stamped the dollar bill in red ink— NO GOD BUT ALLAH. We asked her where she got this dollar bill. She said it was part of her change in Alamosa , CO .
We took this picture of her dollar bill. These are beginning to show up all around our country! If anyone tries to give you one of these dollar bills as change, please refuse it and ask them to give you a dollar bill that has not been defaced.
Send this on to everyone you can. May God bless our USA — And quickly, before what we know and love is forever gone!
And speaking of Muslims….who doesn’t love Maxine? 
Nobody’s Perfect: Miss America VS Cartoon Characters in Times Square
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, we don’t have to go any further than that great melting pot of talent called New York.
We have a Nobody’s Perfect contest between the people who dress up as Cartoon Characters in Times Square, VS the newly crowned Miss America, who, you guessed it— is from New York!
This is going to be a tough one.
First: Let’s take the dweebs that harass tourists in Times Square. It seems there are ways to make a living, and there are ways to…make a living and not pay taxes. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to Times Square, but since Rudy Giuliani cleaned up the “LIVE SEX ON STAGE!” acts, ALL the men from Wall Street have gone mad…wait….no…. the corporates have moved in and made it a very family friendly experience— you know, a place you can take the kids and watch Batman and Spiderman duke it out…for REAL. Several weeks ago, Spiderman hit a cop, and yes, Batman and Spiderman were arrested for fighting.
Cookie Monster has been known to grab at other things besides cookies.
Since I can’t figure out why Marvel doesn’t sue these people for using their trademarked and copyrighted images, it seems the city of New York has let this go on. But, too many people are showing up dressed as Cartoon Character (70?) and that means too many guys bantering for the same $5.00.
Second: And then you have Miss America…
Kira Kazantsev, the contestant from New York, won the Miss America contest last night, and everybody today is having trouble understanding why. In the talent contest she decided to sit on the floor and play…not four, not fifteen, not twenty, but ONE plastic cup. And that was even hard for her.
I couldn’t figure this out. She had a decent voice, WHY distract from it? You can’t imagine the horror of all New Yorkers…a place that has been known to produce some of the finest talent in the world. And this insult after the fantastic funeral from a REAL New Yorker…Joan Rivers.
I don’t know about you, but it doesn’t make me want to visit Broadway any time soon.
So, who wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week?
Frankly, I didn’t watch the Miss America contest, so I’m going by the video here. I’m guessing she looked pretty good in her swimsuit, or somebody donated a LOT of money to the right judge. While the rest of America wonders what in the world this girl did in college to learn how to play cups besides drink shots of vodka, we can only wonder why she didn’t just sing the song standing on her feet. Still, there have been worse acts to come out of New York…Hillary Clinton for one.
As for Batman and Spiderman getting in a fist fight in Times Square?
Shame on them. I’m almost tempted to get a plane to New York, dress up as Wonder Woman, and throw them both out of Times Square!
(Ha! Ha!) Sure. Maybe I’ll just follow them around and beat loudly on a plastic cup, while singing “I’m Henry the VII I am!” and drive them crazy enough that they quit and get a minimum wage job like the rest of us.
So, it’s official—- the Mayor of New York wins the Nobody’s Perfect Award for the week.
Be the draconian progressive that you are Mayor De Blasio, and make these people pay taxes like the rest of us, or let Marvel take them to court.
Didn’t you learn ANYTHING in Russia?
Save Australia!
Nobody Flashes
Al Gore said that by now, the Antarctic would have completely melted, and Florida, along with the lost chads of Al Gore, would be sunk in a sea of rising (and no doubt very cold) arctic water.
BUT…that hasn’t happened, instead it’s actually gaining ice!
From Newsmax:
The amount of Antarctic sea ice is at record levels this year, but scientists insists that doesn’t disprove global warming. Satellite images show that almost 12.5 million square miles of sea ice surrounds the continent. That’s the largest amount since records have been kept in the early 1970s. “That is roughly double the size of the Antarctic continent and about three times the size of Australia,” Jan Lieser of the Antarctic Climate and Ecosystems Cooperative Research Centre told ABC. The discovery was made late last week.
But, never fear, the global warming believers have found a global warming answer for that:
They say the sea ice is actually growing around Antarctica because stronger winds, caused by global warming, are facilitating the process by which sea ice is made. The ice is made in “sea ice factories” called polynias.
Yes. I would like to visit these sea ice factories, wouldn’t you? I have no doubt they are being run by the evil Koch brothers who are changing under-minimum wages to Salvadorians to produce this ice that is destroying the democratic dreams of domination.
We can only hope and pray global warming scientists don’t read any Michael Crichton books, because they might get the idea to actually set blasts of dynamite in that manufactured ice, and set a chunk of ice bigger than Australia out to crash into that lovely country.
I have friends there! 
Nobody Flashes…Apparently
Nobody Flashes
I told you that this kid would be a big star.
Here’s his first commercial.
(Let’s hope he stays off drugs.)
Enjoy!
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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