Nobody Gets Email: Obama Knows Nut’ing
Nobody Gets Email
Whatever happened to Blago? Was he ever sent to jail? And if not, maybe it’s because he forgot who he knew. One thing for sure, when Obama lies, he really has a lot of help.
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
***
In the spirit of Chicago politics, should you forward this remember, I never sent it, I don’t know you, and I don’t think we’ve ever met!
NOBODY KNOWS NOTHING
Rod Blagojevich is the former Illinois Governor who tried to sell Obama’s seat in congress.
Obama was asked by the press if he had ever met Gov. Rod Blagojevich.
Barack Obama: “I only saw Rod Blagojevich one time … and that was in the stands and from a distance at a Chicago Bears Football Game.”
Yet here we see Rod Blagojevich, Barack Obama and Richard Daley during a rally in Chicago , April 16, 2007. (Photo Reuters )
To understand this “minunderstanding”, you have to understand the world according to Chicago …
While Chicago is a city in Illinois , it is like a different country when it comes to politics, with a whole different set of morals and language.
In Chicago politics, there are only three rules and one Prime Directive to remember. You don’t even need an attorney to understand them — and if you do need an attorney, well, you know too much…so look out.
RULE #1…No matter what you see, hear, or do — you don’t know anybody and you don’t know nothing!
RULE #2…If you capture something on tape or camera — it doesn’t reveal nothing!
RULE #3…If you know what everybody knows in Chicago — well, you still don’t know nothing.
The PRIME DIRECTIVE in CHICAGO … No matter how the vote turns out, the Democrats still win the election.
Here’s an illustration. Remember, you know nothing.
These two? They don’t know each other! That’s because they said they didn’t.
The fellas in this picture . They never actually met face to face. What fellas? We don’t see nothing!
The guy on the left? For all you know he’s Santa Claus.
And the guy on the right… well, he’s the Easter Bunny! That’s all you need to know.
Go see your eye doctor…your eyes are lying to you!
Remember Jimmy Hoffa? He knew too much and now, well, no one knows where he is.
The picture below. It doesn’t mean nothin’. You should forget it.
Now, isn’t that simple? They don’t know each other and they never met!
How is that possible? ‘Cause they said so! And, that settles it. Ca’pish?
P.S. If you pass this on to your friends, don’t forget, you know nothing and they will know nothing.
I WAS NOWHARE AROUND WHEN IT HAPPENED,
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT !!!!
Nobody Gets Email: Prison Obama
Nobody Gets Email:
Well, here’s a great one to start off the weekend!
(Thanks to Pattie)
Gene Simmons Predicts Presidency
Nobody Cares
Gene Simmons declares that Rick Perry is going to be our next President. How does he know that?
“I voted for President Bush. I voted for President Clinton. I voted for President Obama…”
In other words, maybe we should blame Gene Simmons for the mess we are in! If he is right, and Rick Perry gets elected, we will continue on the same old, same old road to globalization. But Gene Simmons and Glenn Beck will be happy.
Yes, Glenn loves Texas so much, he is moving there. The schools are crummy, but hey, his daughters will never get a certain sexual virus due to the fact that Perry signed an executive order that all Texas girls must have a certain vaccine or else.
Frankly, that stinks of a dictator. It should be up to the parents. NOT the governor. What kind of mandates will come down from him when he becomes President?
The “We the people” candidates are being hammered. Michelle made one little mistake, she got Elvis’ birthday mixed up with his death day.
You don’t do that in America and get by with it. What a shame.
And personally—I think he is already picked, because…why? Because the Bushes have already come out against him. He is so much like Bush it’s scary: Texas governor, gets along really well with Muslims, and helped make the Texas/Mexican/ Superhighway happen. Knows how to fly a plane. BUT..he says he is different because he believes in small government.
He has to distanced himself from them or he will never win. And since they are all for the “party” it’s no surprise that Rove is already attacking him. Rove KNOWS it will only work in his favor.
Then again: Obama said all it takes is “one lone” attack on the United States, and well, he will rocket back into a second term. Look what the Oklahoma bombing did for Clinton, and 9/11 did for Bush.
This nobody thinks, no matter how wonderful it was that “Obama” got bin Laden, it was cancelled out by the stupid mistake of putting all those Navy Seals in the clumsy helicopter, it’s as if they were handed to our enemy on a silver platter.
And maybe, they were.
Today I was listening to Rush Limbaugh, when a man who had fled Cuba during the missile crisis called in and warned Rush that Obama was a communist and we’d better get rid of him soon. He remembered Castro all too well, and compared Obama to him.
And that’s the sad part. Cuba will never recover from Castro, and someday, we might be saying the same thing.
It’s won’t matter who is elected, because thee is still time for him to cause more damage….and the question should be to all the candidates: .Will YOU undo what he has done?
We must ask them all that, and make them promise.
As for Gene Simmons. He’s a smart guy. He’s going to go with whomever makes him money. And what I really want like to know is: Did Gene Simmons vote for Ronald Reagan?
If he did, then I forgive him.
The Orphic Republican Debate
Nobody Wins:
So, who won tonight’s Republican Presidential primary debate? According to all polls, Mitt Romney.
Really? Not to this Nobody. Mitt Romney is about as trustworthy as a rapper on a hot night in Philly. He represents the big multinational companies. How can you trust a man who passed the first Obamacare in his state, and then says if he is elected he is going to repeal it? Whenever he talks I want to put a big bandage on his head.
Uh…so he was dumb two year ago? Suddenly we have a brain surge? What will he say two years from now?
You can’t trust him.
He says: he is the businessman, that’s what makes him special. Well, so is Herman Cain. Herman says that America should learn to take a joke. Pizza is NOT made in Iran.
Herman is very likable, but so is Bambi.
Nobody thinks Donald Trump’s experience as a businessman trumps both these guys, because he just has more experience overseas. But, that’s just my Nobody’s Opinion. Trump and Palin are playing the smart card along with Rick Perry and staying out till later. Soooooooooooooooooo, the desperate Americans will wait for more American Republican Idol debates. Great. They really ought to put Alex Baldwin in between them all just to liven it up.
Besides the fact that Jon Huntsman feels our pain, the most memorable thing about the whole debate was the fight between Michelle and Tim. I thought Michelle handled it well, and it might have to do with the fact that I saw Hillary again today on T.V.
Hillary has been around since the Civil War. Every time I see her I think of Sherman. Do we HAVE to keep seeing her on our TV? It’s like a bug crawling across the screen, she drives me crazy.
Go away!
I’m in a real sexist mood today since Gloria the Stein-ham came out talking her usual trash about any woman that is not her. Why can’t the good lord do us a favor and put both Gloria and Hillary on the next test flight over the ocean? It’s a big place the ocean.
Go on Gloria…be brave.. like Amelia.
The last woman politician this Nobody liked was Margaret Thatcher. And then, there was that old lady in Canada, who plays hockey…the mayor. She should be our President.
Where was Gloria when Michelle was attacked? Pawlenty had a real macho thing going on tonight, which makes you wonder if he isn’t running just to get her out of the picture. After all, next to Ron Paul, she is the tea party candidate.
“She’s got a record of misstating and making false statements,” Pawlenty said.
Come on: show me a politician who has NOT misstated or made false statements and I’ll show you how to win a game of chess in one move.
And speaking of Ron Paul, he got the most applause, because he’s the most honest. Did you notice they didn’t let him talk much?
Maybe we should try some normal people, like Dave Barry. What about him? He runs every year. (If you don’t know who Dave Barry is, then I suggest more alchohol.)
The nation could use man with a sense of humor. At least he would tell us jokes in his press conferences while we all slide into oblivion. The reasoning for this is that the band kept playing on the Titanic.
We must strive to be noble in our descent, don’t you think?
I’m just saying.
And then there was Newt, who was sharp…but he’s just like Romney. What they say, and what they will do..are always opposite most of the time.
Besides the usual, “I will save the Jews, the economy, the problem on the border, the schools, the country, Cher’s naval, and the nukes in Iran.” stuff that they always say, it was not very informative.
Besides— the problems we are facing are so big, that the most any of them can do is…very little. Trying to solve our deficit would be like putting a dog leash on a blue whale.
But…according to everyone..Romney won, and I admit, I didn’t really listen to it very carefully, because I just want to sleep when I hear the man talk.
You know, if Winston Churchill had been in the debate tonight, the news from everyone would STILL have been: Mitt Romney won.
Does it really matter?
Nobody Says…not today.
Nobody’s Perfect: Geithner VS Lallona
Nobody’s Perfect
This week, nobody can compete or even compare imperfections with our own Wizard of Hogwarts Economics, Timothy Geithnor. Mr. Geithner holds the fine title of being the first Secretary of the United States Treasury to cause the fine AAA credit that we have managed to keep since 1917, to downgrade.
Of course, he did not do this remarkable feat all by himself— but he has made himself the laughing stock not only of all Chinese children, but everyone else in the world, and also, no doubt, most of Hogwarts.
Why? Because in April of this year he insisted that in no way was there any “risk” that the United States would be downgraded by anyone. (see video)
On the other side of the coin (hopefully yours is gold) we have a young man from Fullerton, California, who decided one day to put his semen in some lovely co-workers’s water bottle. I’m not sure what he was trying to do: make her gag, or maybe see if his DNA was strong enough to grow his child inside her stomach: With the sexual education being taught these days in our schools, one can never be too sure. Something tells me, she wouldn’t go out with him.
And who could blame her? He looks like he would drown little puppies in his morning milk. This was reported:
Superior Court Judge Walter Schwarm, who earlier sentenced Michael Kevin Lallana, 32, to 180 days in jail for two misdemeanor battery convictions, said Lallana needs to reimburse his victim for therapy and loss of wages after she left her employment following the incidents. And now he has to pay $27,410.80 in restitution.
If Mr. Kevin lived here in St. Louis, just last week he could have gone down to his local courthouse and for just $100 dollars he could have had all his misdemeanors forgiven. He should live here if he wants to keep being a pervert, but then..Nobody’s Perfect.
(And by the way….how did they come up with the 80 cents? Was that the price of the ruined bottles? )
Yes, Kevin went to jail for just the action of putting his semen into a ladies bottle, but Timothy Geithner so far, has seen no jail time whatsoever for robbing billions of people around the earth of their retirment funds. I wish he would have just gotten out a water bottle, squirted, and saved us all a lot of heartache.
Nobody Gets Email: Rectal-Cranial Inversion
Nobody Gets Email
Some people like cross word puzzles, I like clever quotations. In this political world of renaming people and things in order not to offend, it’s about time we made fun of those phrases.
Here’s some I got from a real patriot who loves fast and beautiful cars, and who says he got these off the “Old Farts” websites. I have no idea why anyone would hang around the ‘old farts’ website, but I’m planning on spending a lot of time there.
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans, and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “Hillbillies.”
You must now refer to them as : APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS
And furthermore :
How to speak about women and be politically correct:
1. She is not a ‘babe’ or a ‘chick’ -She is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN.’
2. She is not ‘easy’-She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE…’
3. She is not a ‘dumb blonde’-She is a
“LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
4. She has not ‘been around’-She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not “nag” you -She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘two-bit hooker’- She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’
How to speak about men and be politically correct:
1. He does not have a ‘beer gut’- He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a “bad dancer”-He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’
3. He does not “Get lost all the time”-He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘balding’- He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a “total ass”- He develops a case of ‘RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his “crack” you see hanging out of his pants–it’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’
Is the Mother Ship Shovel Ready?
NOBODY CARES
The big news today was: President Obama got lost inside the White House. Nobody can find him, and it is being reported that he has been taken by aliens and dumped on the mother ship for ANOTHER fantastic birthday party. Tom Hanks arranged the whole thing, as a surprise. Not that we care… we don’t. Standard and Poor’s downgraded the AAA credit of the United States today, and it was on this very important day in history that this Nobody got lost in the city of St.Louis. I started out heading South, then West, then East, then South, then West again, then North, then just about the time I was getting hungry, I decided to ask directions.
***
I had a map, but no glasses.
***
Yes, you would think after so many years roaming the side streets and inner deserts of St. Louis, and having played just about every dive and dump imaginable that I could never have gotten lost. I saw street upon streets of old dilapidated brick buildings that were never there before. Buildings built around the 1800’s and still somehow standing. Block after block— after block. Long ago, you could smell the brewery all over the town. Now, it’s pretty much the smell of urine.
***
Nobody prefered the old barley smell myself.
***
I always wonder if they leave those old buildings up just there to get their picture taken for the History Channel. The History Channel has a whole mini-series on “Life after People”, where they show how long it will take to rot the Empire State Building, the Eiffel Tower, the Hoover Damn, and the White House.
***
But don’t believe it. No matter what happens to this country, as we slide slowly into a third world country where 400 gang members of blacks can attack whites daily: where people are so desperate for money they steal the bronze statue of the noble dog: and Jesus’s image is being found everywhere on e-bay..toast, pizza, beer foam…Obama’s head–whatever… you can bet whoever is in the White House will be having a big lavish party for the President and all his buddies, and Bob Dylan will be singing….
***
“The Times They are a Chaaaaaanginnnng”…..(cough,cough)
***
So, as I found my way home after a day of worrying about my gas tank…(Do I turn ON the air conditioner, or… turn OFF the air conditioner?) it came as no surprise that the country has been downgraded. I could tell by the action of my gas tank. One block took up half a tank.
***
And after watching St. Louis die for over two decades all I can say is: it’s about time.
***
Someday, we will all be living in our cars…if they let us.
*** (Nobody makes this stuff up) Unfortunately, the mother ship was not shovel-ready, or I would be on it.)
Nobody’s Shopping Defects
Nobody Cares
Our very defects are..shadows of our virtues. —Ralph Emerson
****
Hopefully, in ten years, with my good friend’s help, I might even learn how to shop.
Nobody Gets Blond Joke
Nobody Gets Email:
Nobody’s Perfect: Nipple Twisting VS Identity Theft
Nobody’s Perfect:
***
If twisting a nipple without permission is a felony, then at least 15% of every male attending Mardi Gras on the last night before lent, should fork up some money.
Yukari Miyamae had more than 900 backers Monday afternoon, with some praising her for her bravery and others offering to donate money to her defense. Others defended the TSA’s screening procedures, saying that people who don’t want to comply with security requirements shouldn’t fly.
Nobody Gets Email: Oh…My…GOODness…
Harlequin Novel, Updated …. 2011 Version:
He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into the empty room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. “Just relax.” Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn’t care. His touch was so experienced, so sure. When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and over my buttocks. Although I knew nothing about this man , I felt oddly trusting and expectant.
This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking ‘No’ for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say . . . .
Keep reading. . . . . .
“Okay ma’am, you can board your flight now.”
Nobody Gets Email: Farmer Cool
Nobody Flashes Email
It’s the weekend and I have gotten lots of nice emails this week–so let’s start out with a salute to a farmer who STILL owns his own land.
Why do I know that? Do you really think a government owned farm would do this?
Naw…me neither.
(Thanks to Mona)
***
This is just south on Hwy 75 south. A farmer does it with his tractor and not sure if he uses a plow or a disc. He uses GPS to get the letters readable. He has done this every fall for several years now.
Here’s the view from the flight pattern into OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE (Bellevue , NE., just south of Omaha).
This is what our servicemen see when landing at Offutt AFB. Hat tip to the Bellevue farmer who made it happen!
Nobody’s Perfect: America VS Moldova
Nobody’s Perfect
Ron Paul—Are You Stoned?
Nobody Wins
The news today is: Presidential candidate Ron Paul, and Barney Frank, are going to introduce a bill to legalize marijuana. That’s like James Madison getting together with the Marquis de Sade to legalized porn in the 16th century.
The bill to be introduced by Frank and Paul would allow states to “legalize, regulate, tax and control marijuana without federal interference.” Last year, California voters rejected Proposition 19, which would have allowed marijuana to be sold for recreational use. Voters in Colorado and Washington state could vote on the issue this year.
Now, ask yourself: If there is one state that has been stoned since the sixties: it’s California. They should know firsthand how many kids are still surfing at 40, because of the daily joint.
Okay, granted—African Black, Acapulco Gold, Bambalacha, Manhattan Silver, Queen Anne’s Lace, Panama Gold, and my personal favorite: Creeperbud…by whatever name you call it, it’s been around a long time. You can get it anywhere. School grounds are filled with “hookups.” And you have to wonder, is this exactly a wise idea? Sure…we have drug wars going on, but do we really need MORE stoned people hanging out on the corner? I suggest a few Cheech and Chong movies to help you decide.
Nobody can see just see Obama going down to Columbia and saying, “I’m here to buy your Columbian Gold! The United States is ready to be a willing customer…we will help your economy! ”
Do we really think that our founders would be all in favor of people texting and smoking while driving at the same time? And do you really think smoking Puna Butter is going to benefit the already half-dazed people, into getting ready to what’s coming ahead?
That’s it. A sedated and calm people is a dictator’s dream. Right now, too many people are upset about the flooding Obama is doing…destroying whole communities, and for what again? Too bad they are not stoned…
Or…maybe they are. Nobody is complaining. At least, not on my TV.
Their argument is that alcohol has killed many people, marijuana, none. All those poor people dying below the border has to stop. And that’s just it. George Soros is making it one of his life’s goals to get everyone smoking Congo Hash. He has an agenda to pass, and the less people that care about it, the better.
Come on…people don’t care about ANYTHING when their stoned except…eating. Ask my neighbor’s son…he’s been stoned since high school, got kicked out of the army because he was stoned, and now, I can go outside and see him walking around in front of his parent’s home, smoking, because he still lives there…at thirty. Brain damage started around nineteen.
I can’t wait to see him at sixty.
We are just getting people off of lung cancer, from cigarettes. Does Ron Paul really want to kill a whole other generation with a nicotine content ten times the amount of a cigarette? What? Is the AARP behind this?
Will they put Homer Simpson on the label?
Obama will say: “Let grandma put up a toke and go in peace. Those pain medication are just getting too expensive, it will be cost effective. It will take down the deficit. And try some of my Obamamama Gold. I give it to Michelle and she eats TEN burritos—“I can’t stop her!”
Many people love Ron Paul, but you have to wonder…where’s his common sense? You don’t let a kid run out in the street because you want to give him the libertarian freedom, do you?
Ron Paul…are you stoned?
About
I am a nobody. If the different classes of America were color-coded, I would be in the yucky brown, one rung up from the bottom. I grew up in Naples, Florida and live near the Mississippi River now with my husband and two dogs. I am part of the slowly disappearing middle-class. I was a musician most of my life: drummer/singer/keyboards—but I retired before the plastic surgery flu hit. I have no degrees, which could be a good thing…depending on how you view our educational system. I do have three patents…but that really doesn’t make me a somebody. The one thing that is constant in my life is my OPINIONS, which i have more than perhaps even Carl Sagan could have imagined…mostly political. (yes…my ancestors were crabby buggers)
Hopefully other nobody’s will put their opinions on my site. But, if you happen to be a somebody, you’re more than welcomed to help out.
It’s my Nobody Opinion that Nobody’s Perfect, and Nobody Cares, that Nobody Knows why Nobody Wins, and when that happens, Nobody Wonders, why Nobody Flashes, why Nobody’s Fooled, but then Nobody remembers that Nobody ALWAYS Reports the truth.
You can email me at joyanna_adams@yahoo.com
Joyanna Adams
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